Chasing Carson

by Amanda Bennett

  “We’re here.”

  I glanced up as we pulled up in front of an old abandoned warehouse. “What is this place?” I asked hesitantly.

  “This is where we save Ruger from self-destructing.”

  Seventeen

  Ruger

  I was mindlessly pacing back in forth in front of Trey, when I heard a car door shut. I turned in his direction and motioned for him to be quiet. I grabbed the gun on the ground by Trey and made my way over to the slidin’ door. I stood poised and ready to shoot if the situation called for it. I could hear faint voices comin’ from the other side, but the metal muffled them enough to where I couldn’t make out who it was.

  “You expectin’ more people?” I whisper shouted in Trey’s direction. Before I could say anything else the door slid open and I brought the butt of the gun down as hard as I could. Unfortunately, Ky was just as quick and trained just as well as I was. He caught my hand and twisted it behind my back, knockin’ the gun from it and onto the ground. I half expected Ky to show up, but what I didn’t expect was Carson and Lyndley to come with.

  “You gonna try to attack me again?” I could hear the anger in Ky’s voice and it only pissed me off more.

  “Let me the fuck go, Wakely. What the hell are you doin’ here, and why did you bring her?” I pointed right at Carson.

  Ky let go of my arm and kicked me away from them. When I turned around, I nearly lost it when my eyes landed on Carson. She looked awful. I could tell she had been cryin’, and not just a little bit either. Had I done this to her? Maybe I needed to hear what she had to say, before jumpin’ on the Trey bandwagon.

  “She is going to tell you everything she told me. Maybe then you’ll pull your head out of your ass and start believing the people who actually care about you and not that little prick.” Ky pointed in Trey’s direction.

  “Well, say what you need to say.” I looked right at her when I spoke. I could see my words slice right through her heart and it killed me.

  “Carson, don’t you say a fucking word to him.” Trey shouted.

  “Shut up, Trey.” I shouted back.

  “I never lied to you, Ruger. I’ve known Trey practically all of my life. I never knew he had a brother. I don’t even think he knew, until recently. I met your mom, Ruger. She didn’t seem like the type of woman to want to turn her sons against one another. You may never believe me, and I’ve accepted that, but I never knew who you were until you walked through my front door.”

  I could hear the sincerity and honesty in her voice. I knew she would have never done that to me, but I let Trey get into my head. “I know you didn’t.” I muttered as I walked closer to her. She started to slowly back up the closer I got, and I knew I deserved her reaction. “I’m sorry, Carson. I’m sorry for talkin’ to you the way I did, and for accusing you. I didn’t want to believe it, but what was I supposed to do?”

  “You were supposed to believe me. When have I ever lied to you? In all the time that we have known each other, I have never once made you feel the way you made me feel tonight.”

  I reached out and let my fingers run down her cheek. “I’m sorry, Carson. Please forgive me.” She was about to reach for me when I collapsed on the ground. Everything was fading in and out, but one thing stayed clear as day and that was her beautiful face lookin’ down at me. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” I slurred as my vision began to close in.

  “Ruger! Don’t you dare die on me, do you hear me?” She pulled my head on her lap as someone put pressure on my stomach wound. I tried to speak, but then I started coughin’. I could taste the blood as it fell from the corners of my mouth as the coughin’ continued. “Ruger, look at me. Oh my god, no!” As her terrified cries rang through my ears, everything went black and her voice trailed off.

  I wish I could say that I didn’t deserve this. That I deserved to live and to be with her like I had planned, but I couldn’t. In all honesty, I didn’t deserve the tears that she would cry over me, or even the forgiveness she showed just before I faded away. I deserved to die. This is what I get for treatin’ someone like Carson the way I did. As much as I wanted to stay and show her that I was the man that I claimed to be, I knew that there was a different plan for me. One that didn’t include the unconditional love of a woman like Carson Caverly.

  Eighteen

  Carson

  1 month later

  I couldn’t get the image of Ruger’s bloody face out of my mind. Every time I closed my eyes, even if it were for a brief second, it was all I saw. In the end, there wasn’t anything any of us could do for Ruger. Trey was apprehended at the scene, but the government wanted to use him to flush out the rest of the Nelson brothers’ organization instead of sending him to jail. I wish I could say that I agreed with that idea, but I didn’t, and I would never forgive Trey for what he did to Ruger and myself.

  “Carson, we need to get going. You almost ready?” My mom’s voice floated up the stairs.

  “Yeah.” I shouted back.

  When I turned from my window and took in the sight of the hundreds of boxes in my room, a small smile formed across my lips. So many things lately had been put off, including my schooling, but we were all starting to heal and move forward with our lives. Lyndley and Ky put off their wedding for just a bit, but Lyndley was okay with it all. She was the first one to point out that the last thing all of us needed to worry about was a wedding. Ky on the other hand, well, he just wanted life to go back to normal. After what happened with Ruger, I was pretty sure that he was never going to trust another friend ever again. Who could blame him?

  As for me, well, I was off to school in the great state of Pennsylvania. I decided to start out at a small community college just thirty minutes from Ruger’s farmhouse. My parents weren’t excited about it at first, but once I explained to them that I would be okay and that it would save them some money in the long run, they agreed to let me try it out. And as an added bonus, I wouldn’t have to deal with an annoying roommate in the dorms. It was a win-win in my book.

  “Honey, we have to go. Come on. Ky and Lyndley said that they would bring all of these boxes when they come up this weekend.”

  “Okay, Mom.” I gathered up the small amount of belongings that I would be taking with me today and made my way to my bedroom door, glancing back at my childhood room one last time before turning out the light and heading downstairs.

  “I’ll be out to see you soon, okay. Just give me some time to get things in order around here.” My dad prattled.

  “Daddy, it’s okay. I know you’ll come see me. I love you.” I pressed a kiss to his cheek and I felt a tear roll down his face.

  “I love you too, Carson. I’m so proud of you.” I smiled and nodded as I wiped away his tear before anyone else could see.

  “We’ll see you this weekend.” Lyndley pulled me into a deep hug.

  “I know. I’ll see you both in a couple of days.” I stretched onto my tiptoes to give Ky a hug, and then made my way out to the driveway. Once my mom and I were inside and ready to hit the road, I leaned over and gently grabbed her wrist to get her attention. “There’s somewhere I need to go before we leave.”

  “Okay honey.”

  I pulled onto Trey’s street about fifteen minutes later. I hadn’t been back to his house after everything happened and I wasn’t even sure if I would be able to go inside, but I had to try. I had to bury my past, so I could move forward with my future. “I’ll be right back.” My mom nodded in agreement as I put the car in park and jumped out. As I stepped onto the porch, I noticed a folded up piece of paper under the rock where he used to put the hide-a-key for me. I reached for the paper and sat in the old wicker chair that his mother used to sit in.

  I slowly opened up the worn paper that looked as though it had been here for quite some time now. When I started to read it, I couldn’t believe my eyes.

  My Carson,

  Let me just start by saying that your friendship is what has gotten me through the last three year
s. You were the rock I needed when I didn’t know what else to do. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for loving my mom and me as if we were your own family. I’ve recently found out some things that have changed my perspective on life. Things that I never thought could be true, but they are.

  I need you to know that I never intended to get back into drugs, but I had no choice. See, I lied to you. There was no money when my mom was gone. The house isn’t paid off like she said, and I was forced to do whatever I could to keep my home and stay out of the foster care system. Please forgive me for the horrible things I have done. You’ll never know what it’s like when you reach the end of your desperate rope.

  Getting involved with one of the biggest crime organizations in all of Chicago was never the plan, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I also found out recently that your new love interest is actually my half-brother. I won’t bore you with the details. Just know that I’m sorry for what I have to do next. I want nothing more than for you to be happy in this life and never know what it feels like to have to suffer. I will miss your smiling face everyday when I’m gone, and I’ll think of you often.

  Please try to remember me the way I was and not who I’ve become. You deserve only the best. I love you with every fiber of my being. Take care of yourself.

  Always yours,

  Trey Worthington

  I looked at the date on the note and realized that he wrote it the day of my party. He never intended to see me again. He was leaving, for good. I quickly swiped away my tears and pushed the note into my front pocket. As I reached for the key under the rock something made me suddenly stop. There was nothing left for me here. The friendship and memories that I shared with Trey I would forever hold in my heart, but if I were to go inside there now, all of that would be tarnished.

  I pushed the key back under the rock and started walking back to my car. Once inside, I took one last look at Trey’s house, and then drove off. I never looked back, not once. I was leaving my past behind me, all of it. A couple hours into the drive, my mom reached over and put her hand on my leg.

  “Honey, is everything okay?”

  “Yeah, Mom.” I lied as I glanced over at her. “Mom, do you think my life will ever go back to normal?”

  “In time it will, honey. It just takes time.”

  I nodded as I rolled my head forward and watched through the windshield as the rain came barreling down around us. In another few hours we would be to the farmhouse, and I could start my new life.

  The sun was just starting to rise when my mom started to stir. She had passed out a few hours ago, and I just didn’t have the heart to wake her. “How long did I sleep for?”

  “Maybe two hours.”

  “Do you want me to drive?”

  “No Mom, I’m okay. I’ll let you know if I need you to take over. Besides, we’re almost there.”

  A small part of me was starting to get excited. I had never seen the farmhouse, but Lyndley and Ky had told me all about it. We stopped and ate real quick, and then got back on the road. My mom had a flight to catch later today and I didn’t want her to miss it because of me. I knew she was probably aching to see my father. I don’t think the two of them have been away from each other in about a hundred years.

  I knew we were almost there when the tires hit the dirt road that Ky told me to look for. My breath hitched in my throat and my heart began to race the closer we got. When the stark white farmhouse came into view, a wide smile spread across my face. It was even more beautiful than Lyndley and Ky described. I could see the horses running around back by the stables and I let out a small laugh. I was home.

  Nineteen

  Ruger

  When I saw her car comin’ up the drive, I pushed myself up off the couch and made my way out to the porch. I had waited far too long to see her, and I didn’t want to waste another second being apart from her. It felt like forever as the car finally came to a stop and she came running into my arms. The warmth of her body against mine had me weak in the knees, and thanking God that she had found it in herself to forgive me.

  “How was the drive, sweetheart?”

  “Long.” She sighed as she sealed her lips over mine.

  I could have stayed there kissin’ her for days if it wasn’t for her mom. I slowly pulled away from her and walked over to her mom. “Hi, Mrs. Caverly. How are you?”

  “I’m good, Ruger. How are you doing?” She shocked me by stretching up and giving me a hug.

  “It’s been a very long month, but I’m doin’ much better now.” I glanced back at Carson before helping Mrs. Caverly with all of Carson’s things. I grabbed as much as I could without hurtin’ myself, and then lead the ladies up to the house. “So this is my home.” I set down the boxes I was holdin’ and gave them a small tour.

  “Your house is beautiful, and in a weird way it’s kind of nice to see where my daughter will be living. Oh and I guess where my other daughter lived for a bit, huh? I tell you, when I decided to have kids, I never in a million years thought this would be how their lives would turn out. Don’t get me wrong; it’s not a bad thing. I just find it baffling that both of my girls ended up with men just like their father.”

  “Mom.” Carson whined.

  I pulled Carson into my chest and wrapped my arms tightly around her. “I’m just lucky that she still wants to be with me.” I pressed a long kiss to the top of her head and breathed her in. I still couldn’t believe that she was here with me. “You wanna see the horses?”

  “Absolutely.” Carson’s excitement was evident on her face and I couldn’t help but smile.

  As we made our way out to the barn, I noticed a car driving down the road that ran almost parallel to mine. I knew all of my “neighbors” and this was a new car. “Hey Carson, why don’t you take your mom into the barn and see if there are any horses in there.” I winked at her so she would understand what I was sayin’.

  I gripped my gun that sat in the waistband of my pants against my back as hard as I could, as I made my way out to where the car was headin’. I was still extremely sore in my side and was told not to do anythin’ too strenuous like jumpin’ fences and shit like that, but if it came down to my health or savin’ my girl and her mom, well I would happily get hurt.

  I pulled my gun from under my shirt and ducked down behind the bales of hay that I kept piled in front of the ravine that lead to the other property. As I glanced around, I caught sight of a man in a black hoodie lookin’ in the direction of my house. I watched him as he made his way around the front end of his car and towards the spot I was sittin’ at. When he got too close for comfort, I quickly popped up, gun aimed.

  “Can I help you, Sir?”

  He instantly put his hands up in surrender when he saw my gun pointed at him. “Whoa there, I’m lookin’ for someone.”

  “I would kindly suggest that you look elsewhere.” I cocked a smile as I said it.

  “Do you know where I can find Ruger Smith?”

  “Don’t know any Ruger.” I stated matter of factly as my gun stayed aimed at his head.

  “Okay, okay I get it. I’ll be leavin’ now. Thanks for your help.”

  I stood unmovin’ as the man got back in his car and started headin’ back out to the main road. When the car disappeared, I lowered my weapon and headed towards the barn to find Carson and her mom. I looked behind me at least a dozen times as I made my way up to the barn. The guys face looked all too familiar, but I was havin’ the hardest time placin’ it. My brows pulled together in contemplation just as Carson came runnin’ out of the barn.

  “Ruger!”

  “Sweetheart, slow down. What’s wrong?”

  “It’s my mom. She just collapsed. We need to call 9-1-1.”

  “Okay. Run into the house and call. I’ll go check on your mom.”

  She looked at me, confused. “Please help her.” She whispered.

  “Go, Carson.” I ran into the barn and to Mrs. Caverly’s side. “Mrs. Caverly, can you hear me?�
�� Her eyes were rollin’ in the back of her head, and her body was twitchin’. I wasn’t sure if it was a seizure, but I treated her as though it was. “Anna, can you hear me?” She still didn’t answer and her body was still convulsing. “Anna, don’t you dare die on me.” I warned her.

  Just then, Carson came runnin’ back into the barn. “How is she?”

  “Carson, I need you to listen to me carefully. There is a room past the bathroom downstairs. It’s a hidden room. There is a lever on the top of the picture to the left. Go in there and look for the medicine vial that says Ativan, grab that and bring me a needle. Go, now.”

  “Okay.”

  A few minutes later, Carson was runnin’ back in with the medicine. “Okay, now fill it to the two line, and then hand it to me.” She did as I told her and I took the needle from her, and stuck it into her mom’s arm.

  “What do we do now?” I could hear the worry in her voice.

  “We wait for her to stop convulsing, and then we take her inside while we wait for the ambulance.”

  “”Ruger, is she going to be okay?”

  “Honestly sweetheart, I don’t know. Has she ever had a seizure before?”

  “God no. She’s always been super healthy and active. Oh my god, I need to call my dad. He has to know what is happening.”

  I glanced down at her mom and saw that she had stopped seizing. I picked her up in my arms and started makin’ my way to the house. “Carson, get the door for me please.”

  “Ruger, you’re not supposed to be lifting anything.”