“Aw.” She tweaks my nose. “That was really romantic. Are you a romantic, Levi?”
“I … ah … I don’t really know. I’ve never really tried with any girl before.”
“How come?” she inquires, pulling away from me to sit up.
I consider protesting, but that will only make me look needy and pathetic. I sit up beside her, leaning my back against the headboard and keeping the comforter over the evidence of my hard-on. “I’ve never had a proper relationship,” I admit.
Her mouth gapes open. “How old are you?”
“Just turned twenty.”
Her mouth gapes again, and I know she’s mentally trying to figure it out in her head. I’m older than your average freshman. “How the hell does a guy as hot as you get to twenty without having a relationship?”
“You think I’m hot?” I tease, in part wanting to divert the course of this conversation. This is where shit starts getting tricky. I don’t want to lie to her, but if I share too much of my life, she might figure things out, and I have to keep my identity secret to protect both of us.
She nudges me in the shoulder. “Don’t act the idiot. You know you’re hot.”
“I guess I’ve just never met the right girl.”
She opens her mouth to say something and then shuts it again. Tucking her messy hair behind her ears, she speaks as she stares off into space. “Relationships aren’t all they’re cracked up to be anyway.”
I want to ask her more. About that jerkwad Cole and any others who may have come before him, but I think I’ve rummaged in her head enough the last twelve hours. Instead, I ask, “What time do you have to be in court at?”
She rubs a hand across her chest. “Two.”
“Would you like me to come with?”
She turns to face me. “What about school?”
I shrug. “Missing a few classes won’t be the end of the world. I can catch up.”
She nibbles on her bottom lip, and I’m jealous. What I wouldn’t give to nibble her all over.
And, my raging boner is back.
“Okay. That’d be great. I could use a friend.”
The friend word is all a guy needs to hear to kill a stiffy stone dead. But, I’ve got to remember she’s been through a lot. I can’t expect her to drop her panties on the spot. Not that I’d want her to. Not yet. I want to do things right with this girl. And that means letting her call the shots for now.
“Great. It’s settled then. I can drive.” I swing my legs out the other side of the bed, facing away from her.
Her warm, soft hands land on my shoulders. “Levi.” Her dulcet tone causes a shiver to dance over my skin. She presses her luscious mouth to my ear. “Thank you.”
I twist around, and there is barely a centimeter between our faces. “You don’t need to keep thanking me. I’m with you because I want to be here.”
Her eyes dart to my mouth, and I stop breathing again. I wonder if she’s remembering our hot make out sesh in this moment like I am. Man, what I wouldn’t do to taste her soft lips again.
My raging boner returns with a vengeance.
“I’m not sure I can be what you want me to be,” she says, looking a little sad. “I’m pretty messed up right now.”
I kiss her cheek. “I don’t have any expectations,” I lie. “I’m just happy to spend time with you.”
Now she looks kinda disappointed, and I wonder if I said the wrong thing. I have zero experience of this stuff. This girl is bringing out a side of me I didn’t know existed, and I’m walking blindfolded here.
“That’s cool with me.” She jumps out of the bed, and I miss her closeness already. “I’m going to head back to my dorm and get showered and changed there. I’ll come back later.”
I stand up and walk around the bed. “Give me a few minutes to get ready and I’ll drop you at your dorm. I’ve some stuff I need to do then, but I can come back and get you when we need to leave.”
Her gaze heads south, and her jaw slackens. Her eyes go wide, and her pupils darken as she stares at me. Oops. Forget I was only wearing boxers, and my boner is back in all its morning glory.
“Oh. Um. Holy. Wow.” She glances up at me, not in the least bit embarrassed.
“See something you like, Blondie?” I flick her hair, smirking.
“Maybe.” She acts all demure, but the lusty look on her face is a dead giveaway. “But I don’t do the whole friends with benefits thing.”
I don’t do the whole friends thing. But I’m not admitting that out loud.
“Keep telling yourself that, beautiful,” I whisper, winking as I walk to the door of my en suite. She’s at the bedroom door when I call out to her. “And, by the way, you look unbelievably sexy in my clothes.” I try to rein in my cocky smirk, but it’s damn hard. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have a date with my hand.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Dakota
Levi is a few minutes late picking me up, and I wonder if he’s blowing me off again. Until his shiny SUV comes to a screeching halt at the curb, and I chastise myself for doubting him. I know he’s been hot and cold since we met, but I believed him last night. I don’t understand it, but he genuinely seems to want to be my friend.
I try to dampen my disappointment, telling myself I don’t have time for anything more even though I know that’s a lie. But, relationships lead to complications, and I’ve enough on my plate as it is. For now, I’m grateful for his friendship and his support. Today is going to be difficult, and him being there with me means more than he can know.
Hopping out of the car, he takes my hand and opens the passenger door for me. My smile is authentic. “Who knew such a gent was hiding behind that prickly exterior?” I tease as I climb inside, and he laughs.
“I don’t think I have much of a prickly exterior around you,” he tells me, sliding behind the wheel. “You’re far too difficult to resist.”
His words thrill me silly. He glides easily out into the busy lunchtime traffic. “So,” I say, twisting to face him. “Tell me something about yourself. You know all this heavy shit about me, and I know next to nothing about you.”
It could be my imagination, but he seems to grip the steering wheel a little tighter. “What would you like to know?”
“Where did you grow up?”
He visibly relaxes. “In a small town in Knox County, Maine.”
“Any brothers or sisters?”
“Growing up it was just Mom and me, but she’s married now, and her and my stepfather have twin boys.” He grins at me. “They are only three, but they’re the coolest little kids on the planet.”
His entire face lights up at the mention of his brothers, and my ovaries start a happy dance. Who doesn’t love a guy who loves his family? And a guy who clearly adores kids? Be still my beating heart. “They must be thrilled to have a big brother.”
His smile fades a little. “I don’t get to see them that much.” He white-knuckles the steering wheel again. “I’ve been working the last couple of years out of state, and my mom’s been occupied with work and then with her new husband, and the twins keep them both busy.”
There’s a tinge of sadness in his tone. “Do you get along with your stepfather?”
“Mostly. Steve’s a good guy, and he’s made my mother happy, and that’s all that matters. She deserves it.”
“It sounds like you’re close to your mom.”
“She was all I had when I was a kid.” His Adam’s apple jumps in his throat as he steers the car out onto the highway. “And I thought she hung the moon. She sacrificed so much for me.”
“She sounds amazing.”
“She is.”
I want to ask more, because I’m sensing there’s more behind it, but I can tell he’s uncomfortable discussing it, so I drop the subject. “You said you were working? Doing what?”
> He drags a hand through his hair, taking a minute or two to reply. “I was working as a session musician. My mom set it up.”
“Get. Out!” Color me impressed. Now the guitar makes sense. “Did you work with anyone I’d know?”
“Nah. I doubt it.” He gulps, keeping his eyes on the road ahead. “It was mainly small-time stuff, but I enjoyed it. Made a good living for myself.”
“I hope you don’t think I’m nosy, but I was wondering how you could afford a place like that.”
“I’m only renting it,” he’s quick to tell me. “But I’m fortunate I can afford to take some time out to go to college.”
“Why accounting?”
He shrugs. “I wanted to study something practical, and I’ve always been good at math.”
Is it weird that that admission kinda turns me on? There is something so sexy about a hot guy who is also intelligent and practical that gets my juices flowing. I squirm in my seat as lust simmers in my veins. At least all this is taking my mind off the impending court session. “So, your mom works in the music business?” I surmise.
“She used to, but she decided to retire a year after the twins came along.”
“It’s nice that she can do that. My mom was always there for me when I came home from school and practice and I loved that. She would have this gorgeous dinner made, and she’d ask me all about my day. It always made me feel so loved. I know a lot of moms need to work these days, and I would never criticize them for it, but it’s really special if you can be there for your kids.”
“Practice?” he asks, drilling a quick look at me. The sun decides to make a sudden appearance at that moment, bathing Levi in a bright glow. He’s wearing his glasses today, but I can still make out the dilating color in his eyes, and I’m completely distracted.
“Wow, you have beautiful eyes,” I tell him. “I never realized they were a green-blue color before.” A muscle clenches in his jaw and he holds the steering wheel so tight I fear he’s stopping all blood flow. I frown a little. “Did I say something wrong?”
Air gushes out of his mouth, and he relaxes his death-grip on the wheel. “Of course not. I’m just a little on edge today.” He glances at me briefly. “I’m guessing practice was dance practice?”
I nod, deciding to let his odd reaction pass. “I’ve been taking dance classes since I was three.”
“It shows. You’re an amazing dancer.”
“Thanks.” His praise bolsters my fragile confidence, but it also raises questions. “How long have you been watching me dance?” I ask with a certain amount of trepidation. I’m guessing he was watching me again last night and that’s how he came to my rescue.
He squirms a little in his seat before looking over at me with a sheepish look in his eyes. “I don’t want to freak you out, but I want to be honest.”
I grip the sides of my seat, digging my nails into the leather. If you want to freak someone out, just start a conversation with “I don’t want to freak you out” and mission accomplished. “I’m freaking out already. Just tell me.”
“I’ve seen you dancing before that night I visited the roof.”
I tense up as a layer of discomfort washes over me. “You’ve watched me before?”
“Never on the roof, not until that night, but I can see you from my penthouse. Every night, I sat in my window and played my guitar while I watched you dance. I couldn’t make out your face, it’s too far away, but I was mesmerized by this incredible dancer.”
“Midnight dancer,” I whisper, remembering his words from last night.
He nods, and he looks a bit scared as he glances at me. “How freaked out are you?”
“I’m not sure,” I answer truthfully, pulling my knees up to my chest.
“I debated saying nothing,” he tells me, taking the road that leads to the courthouse. “But after what happened with your … with Layla, I didn’t want to keep this from you. The last thing I want is you thinking I’m some kind of stalker.”
“I appreciate that.” I worry my lip between my teeth. “It’s something I’ve thought about a lot after she died. It would be so easy to hide myself from the world, to shy away from strangers and not allow anyone to get close. To shut myself off in the name of safety, but then I wouldn’t be living. My dad would prefer that. He’d rather I take that cheating douche back than fall for a stranger. Better the devil you know, etcetera.”
“And what about you?” he asks, pulling into a vacant space in the parking lot of the courthouse.
“I’ve never been the type to compromise or fear the unknown,” I admit, unbuckling my seat belt and turning to face him. “And I’m not going to start now. Cole has burnt his bridges with me, and I’ll never take him back, but I am more guarded, more wary, than I used to be.”
“That’s understandable.” He takes my hand, rubbing soothing circles on my skin.
“I won’t take blatant risks or chances, but I won’t stop living either. I’d like to think I’m less impulsive than I was before, but I don’t want to lose who I am. I can’t live the rest of my life in fear. What happened to my sister is horrific, the worst thing ever, and, for as long as I live, I will never forget it, or her. But she wouldn’t want me to change who I am. She’d want me to stay safe, to make informed decisions instead of rushing head first into stuff, and I’m making a conscious effort to do that, but I still want to be me.”
“I think you’re the bravest person I’ve ever met.”
“I don’t know about that.” I offer him a sad smile, glancing nervously toward the entrance to the court. “But I’m trying.”
“You make me want to be a better person,” he says, and I stare inquisitively at him.
“You think you’re a bad person?”
He shrugs, and when he looks at me, I see so much emotion on his face. “I’ve made some bad decisions in my life. Hurt people I cared about. Did stuff I shouldn’t have and didn’t want to.”
I reach up and palm his face. “We’ve all done stuff we regret. It’s part of growing up. The most important thing is what you learn from those experiences and how you let them shape the rest of your life and the person you want to be.”
Darting forward, he pecks my lips briefly. Too briefly. Before I’ve had time to even acknowledge the gesture, he’s pulled back. “I have never met anyone like you, and I need you in my life. I’ve never met anyone who has inspired me so much. Not just with my music, but in every aspect of my life. You don’t just make me want to be a better person, you’re already changing me. Helping me see who I could be.”
His words do twisty things to my insides, but not in a bad way. Winding my fingers in his, I smile. “Sometimes, people come into our lives with the power to change us forever. Deep down, I think I recognized that when I met you, but I chose to ignore it. You’re not the only one changing. You’re helping me too.” I look at our conjoined hands. “I feel braver, stronger, when I’m with you. Like somehow things will work out, and I don’t feel as afraid.” I slant him a shy smile, wondering how we’re getting into the deep stuff all of a sudden. There aren’t even any labels yet.
Perhaps there don’t need to be.
“Maybe we were meant to meet at this juncture in our lives. To be there for each other.”
He raises our joined hands, brushing his lips across the back of my knuckles. “I can’t disagree, and I promise to be there for you, Dakota. For as long as you’ll let me.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
ShawnLevi
The session in the courthouse is difficult and emotional for Dakota, but she’s keeping a brave face. I’m so proud as she gives her statement, and her love for her mother shines through. Tears glisten in her eyes when the judge sanctions the request, approving the movement of her mother to a specialist psychiatric facility. Shit will really hit the fan when her father receives notification of the court’s decision. But I�
��ll be there to help her through it.
We’re back at my place, and Dakota is fast asleep on the couch, looking peaceful and angelic. Her long blonde hair fans around her face, and her small hands are curled under her cheek. She looks so young and vulnerable, even if I know she’s got the inner strength of a Goliath.
She’s far too good for me. I know it. But I’m a selfish bastard, and now I’ve made the decision to let her into my life, I’m not letting her go. I meant what I said in the car earlier. She’s bringing out a different side to me, and I want to embrace that, and her.
My cell vibrates, and I take it out onto the balcony to talk to Luke. “Hey.”
“How are things?” he asks.
“Good. I like it here.” Casting a glance at the sleeping beauty on my couch, I know she’s a large part of the reason why I do.
“You sound different.”
“I feel like I’m really breathing for the first time in years.”
“I’m happy to hear that, Shawn. I know this last year has been difficult for you. After rehab, I was worried you’d spiral into that dark place again, but you fought to take back control of your life, and I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you.”
“Your mom would be too. She misses you. You should call her.”
A sharp ache pierces my chest cavity. “I miss her too, and I want to make things right with us, but I don’t want to pull her into this mess either. It’s good we’re estranged and that it’s been publicly reported. It keeps her outside the stalker’s radar.” Several of the messages threatened my loved ones, and I’d die if anything happened to Mom or my family because of me.
“You can still call her.”
I lean over the edge of the balcony, surveying the busy street down below. “When we talk again, I want it to be face to face. The things I have to say need to be said in person, not over the phone.”
“I understand.”
“Just.” I pause, exhaling heavily. “Just tell her I love her and the boys and I’m thinking of them always.”
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