by Joan Jonker
‘More than acceptable, Mrs Carson. When can I move in?’
‘Whenever yer like. Apart from a bit of bedding which yer said yer could bring, the room’s ready for yer.’
‘Would tomorrow be too soon? I’m off work now until I start afternoon shifts on Monday, so I’d have all day tomorrow to bring me bits and pieces and settle in. That’s if it’s all right with you?’
‘It’s fine by me.’ Nellie wondered whether to mention what she was thinking or leave well alone. But Bob didn’t look the sort to get offended, so she said, ‘Yer could kill two birds with one stone, if yer did that. Kate said yer’d like some advice off Howard – well, him and Audrey will be here tomorrow afternoon so yer could have a word with him yerself. They come for tea every Sunday.’
‘Wouldn’t that look a bit cheeky? First I ask Kate for help, then you, and now this Howard is being dragged into me problems.’
‘If he can help yer, he will. He’s a lovely bloke, is Howard. Speaks frightfully far back, like, but yer can’t blame him for that. It was the way he was brought up.’ Nellie made her way to the top of the stairs. ‘Let’s go down and tell Kate the news. I know she’ll be on pins.’
Kate was sitting on the couch with her hands folded on her knees. When her mother told her it was all fixed up for the next day, her mouth turned up at the corners in the gentle smile that Bob looked forward to seeing every day as he faced her across the canteen table. ‘I’m very glad for yer, Bob.’
‘And I’m very grateful to you, Kate, and to yer mother. I think I’ve really hopped in lucky.’ Bob glanced towards the kitchen where he could hear the two young girls still nattering away. ‘Lucy, will yer come in, please?’
There was some hurried whispering, then Lucy came in leading Kate’s daughter. ‘This is Iris, Dad, and she’s dead shy.’
Bob looked at the girl who was the same height and build as his daughter. He was expecting to see some resemblance to Kate, but there was none. Iris had long blonde hair and deep blue eyes. Then Bob remembered the day they’d been talking about Kate’s dead husband, and she’d told him her daughter was the spitting image of her father. ‘Hello, Iris, I’m very pleased to meet yer. You and me will be seeing a lot of each other, because I’m coming to live with yer nan.’
Lucy flung her arms around his waist. ‘Yer’ve taken the room, Dad? Ooh, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I’m glad yer’ve got somewhere as nice as this to live, but I’m not half going to miss yer. Promise me yer’ll come and see me as often as yer can.’
‘I will, pet.’ Bob stroked her hair. ‘Except when I’m on afternoon shift, I’ll see yer every day, I promise.’
‘Yer can come here as often as yer like to see yer dad, queen,’ Nellie said. ‘The door will always be open for yer.’
Kate beckoned to her daughter to come and sit beside her on the couch. She put her arm across the girl’s shoulders. ‘I’m sure Iris would like yer to come, wouldn’t yer, sweetheart?’
Iris smiled for the first time. ‘I’ve already given Lucy me address and she’s going to come and see me. We leave school on the same day, yer know, Mam. And when we start work we’re going to the pictures together.’
Lucy brushed a tear away. It was all right trying to be brave and say she didn’t mind her dad leaving home, but she did mind, very much. She wasn’t going to say so, though, because that would upset him. ‘And me friend Rhoda’s coming with us.’
Bob put a finger under his daughter’s chin and raised her face. ‘Yer mustn’t give any addresses to Rhoda, pet. I wouldn’t want a certain person to know where I’m living.’
‘I understand that, Dad. Rhoda’s me best friend and I love the bones of her. But I know she can’t keep anything to herself. She opens her mouth and lets it all out, whether yer like it or lump it.’
Bob happened to glance at Iris as the girl smiled. She may have inherited her father’s looks, he thought, but that smile is definitely from her mother. ‘Rhoda’s a smashing girl and a good friend to have, love, but for the time being don’t breathe a word to anyone.’
‘What time can I expect yer tomorrow, then Bob?’ Nellie asked. ‘Shall I peel an extra spud and yer can have yer dinner here?’
Bob was dreading the next couple of hours. He had to tell Ruby he was leaving and knew she’d be like a raving lunatic. Especially when he told her she’d have to find a job to keep herself. But if he could get away early in the morning it would mean tonight would be the last time he’d have to listen to her screaming and her bawdy language. ‘I would like that very much, Nellie, as long as it’s not too much trouble.’
‘Kate and Iris will be here for their dinner, so as I’ve said, lad, all I’ll have to do is put another couple of potatoes in the roasting tin.’
Bob could sense Lucy looking up into his face and he asked himself if he could go through with this. Could he leave his beloved daughter with a woman who wasn’t in her right mind? Then he asked himself what the alternative was. There wasn’t one, not for the time being. But he’d move heaven and earth now to find a place where they could be together. ‘Thanks, Nellie, ye’re an angel.’
‘Oh, these are not wings on me back, lad, they’re me shoulders what have rounded with old age. I’ve got a halo somewhere, though, but I couldn’t put me hand on it just this minute. I’ll give me drawers a clean-out one day and find it to show yer.’
Lucy’s titter turned into a giggle. ‘Ye’re just like Mrs Aggie. I’m going to tell her all about yer next time I see her.’
‘Don’t tell her about the halo, Lucy,’ Iris said, getting into the spirit of things. ‘It’s only a piece of tinsel I put on me nan’s head last Christmas.’
Nellie wagged her head from side to side. ‘Did yer have to go and give the game away, Iris? I think I’d make a good angel.’
‘Yer would, Nellie, yer certainly would.’ Bob picked up Lucy’s hand. ‘We’ll have to go, pet. I’ve got some unpleasant business to attend to and the sooner I get it over with, the better.’
Kate, with her daughter and mother, followed them to the door. ‘I hope everything goes all right for yer, Bob. We’ll see yer tomorrow.’
‘Yes, Kate, I’ll see yer all tomorrow.’
After they’d walked a few steps, Bob and Lucy turned around to see the trio still watching them. They exchanged waves then carried on walking, Bob’s arm over his daughter’s shoulder.
‘They’re really nice people, Dad. Mrs Nellie will take good care of yer.’
‘Yes, I know, pet. But I’m not happy leaving you at home. Why don’t yer stay with Mrs Aggie until I sort something out?’
‘No, Dad, I’m staying at home. Everything will work out fine, you’ll see. I’ll be all right and it’s not going to be for that long.’
Bob sighed as his eyes went heavenwards. Please God, let that be true.
It was when they turned into their street that Bob said, ‘Listen, pet, I’m going to knock and ask Mrs Pollard if she’ll give yer a bite to eat and let yer stay there until I call for yer. I’ve got to tell yer mam I’m leaving tomorrow and I’m expecting her to create blue murder. I don’t want you to have to go through that, ye’re best staying out of it.’
‘I’d rather come with yer, Dad. If she takes off on yer I can always help.’
‘No! As far as yer mother’s concerned, yer know nothing. Yer weren’t with me this afternoon, and you haven’t a clue where I’m going to live. Otherwise she’ll be on yer back all the time and yer’ll get no peace. Believe me, pet, it’s the only way.’
‘Okay, Dad, I’ll do as yer say. If she asks, I’ll tell her I’ve been in Rhoda’s all afternoon playing cards.’
Irene answered their knock and held the door wide. ‘Come in.’
‘I won’t come right in, Irene, I’ll just step in the hall.’ Bob pulled the door to behind them so anyone passing couldn’t hear what was being said. ‘I’ve been to see that room I told yer about, with Kate’s mam. And I’ve taken it – I’m moving in tomorrow. But I wond
ered if yer’d do us a favour and have Lucy for an hour or two? I’m going in now to tell Ruby I’m leaving and I don’t want anyone there when I do it.’
Irene put a protective arm across Lucy’s shoulder. ‘Of course she can stay. We’re having a late tea so she can have something to eat with us.’
‘Thanks, Irene, ye’re a pal. I’ll bring yer up-to-date with everything when I come back. Ruby’s bound to go out, I’m certain of that. Me leaving home isn’t going to make a blind bit of difference to her enjoyment. I’ve got a few things to tell her that she won’t like, and I’m expecting verbal and physical abuse, but it won’t stop her gallivanting. I’ll lay odds she’s got a heavy date and she’ll be out of the house before eight o’clock.’
‘We’ll see yer later, then. And don’t worry about Lucy, we’ll look after her.’ Irene reached to open the door. ‘Go and get it over with, Bob, and good luck.’
Lucy grabbed his arm. ‘Dad, yer know what me mam’s like when she gets into one of her tempers – she lets fly with her hands and feet. Don’t just stand there and let her get away with it, like yer always do, ’cos she could really hurt yer.’
‘Don’t worry, pet.’ Bob bent to kiss her cheek. ‘The days of me just standing there and letting her use me as a punch-bag are over. I’ll see yer at eight o’clock and I promise I’ll be all in one piece.’
Ruby turned on him as soon as he walked through the door. ‘Where the bleedin’ hell d’yer think yer’ve been all after-noon?’ And without waiting for an answer, she went on, ‘And where’s that faggot of a daughter of yours?’
Bob stood by the sideboard, looking a lot calmer than he felt. He weighed his wife up, taking in the best dress, the heavy make-up and the cheap smell. All ready for a night out and annoyed that he’d had the nerve to keep her waiting. ‘Lucy is probably with Rhoda, or even next door. Then again, she could be with Mrs Aggie. I really don’t know. I do know where I’ve been though, if you interested.’
Ruby sneered. ‘That’ll be the day, when I’m interested in anything you do.’
‘Oh, I think yer might just be interested in this. I’ve been looking at some lodgings and I’ve found a place to suit me. I’m moving out of here tomorrow.’
She looked at him as though he’d gone crazy. ‘Pull the other one, yer stupid bugger. If yer think yer can put the wind up me by coming out with daft things like that, well, ye’re sadly mistaken. And I haven’t got time to listen to a load of rubbish, I’m going out. I haven’t made yer no dinner, yer can see to it yer bleedin’ self.’
‘Ye’re not setting foot outside this room until I’ve told yer what I intend doing. Then yer can’t say I didn’t warn yer. I am moving out of here tomorrow, into digs. Lucy will be staying until I can find suitable accommodation for both of us. I will pay the rent on this house for the time being, seeing as my name is on the rent book. But I’ll not be giving you the money, I’ll pay it into the office.’
Ruby was beginning to realise he wasn’t joking. Still she wasn’t worried. It was good riddance as far as she was concerned. ‘As long as I get me housekeeping I couldn’t give a sod where yer go. Let some other poor bugger put up with yer miserable gob for a change.’
‘Ah, but yer won’t be getting any housekeeping.’ Bob leaned his elbows on the sideboard and told himself he needn’t feel pity for this woman who had ruined not only his life, but their daughter’s. He’d given her more than enough chances to change, but she chose not to. ‘If you want to eat, light the gas or have a fire, then yer must find yerself a job to pay for them because I am certainly not. And of course there’s yer ciggie money, the make-up, the magazines and the nights out with yer mates. In future, if yer want them, then yer must work for them. I’ve kept yer long enough.’
Ruby still didn’t believe this of the man who had let her walk all over him since the day they got married. He wouldn’t have the nerve to do it. ‘If yer are leaving, which I couldn’t care less about, yer’ll still have to give me housekeeping. A man’s got to keep his wife, that’s the law.’
‘Not an adulterous wife, Ruby. Adultery is against the law and grounds for a divorce. And that is something I’ll be setting in motion very soon.’
‘What about Lucy, eh? What about yer dearly beloved daughter? Is she supposed to live on bleedin’ fresh air?’
‘I haven’t had time to work that out yet. But yer’ve had this week’s housekeeping which includes the money for her keep. I’ll pay for Lucy after that, but it won’t be to you. I won’t be handing you a penny.’
It was then Ruby went for him. ‘You bastard! You bleedin’ bastard!’ Her hands were outstretched, her palms towards him and her nails on a line with his face. If he hadn’t been alert, his face would have been scratched to ribbons.
Bob made a grab for both her wrists and pushed her arms high, while pressing her backwards towards the couch. Her rage was such she fought with superhuman strength and it took Bob all his time to keep her pinned down. All the time she was screaming like a woman possessed. ‘I’ll get yer for this, yer bleedin’ bastard. Yer can’t do this to me and expect to get away with it. Yer’ll live to regret this, yer swine.’ And so it went on and on. ‘I’ll find yer, no matter how far away yer go. I’ll go down to yer works and tell all yer mates about yer, you see if I don’t.’
‘Don’t threaten me, Ruby. You are the last person anyone will believe when I tell them exactly why I’m leaving. Yer’ll get no sympathy from my mates, I can assure yer. And if ye’re still intending to go out tonight, I suggest yer stop slobbering because yer lipstick is all smudged. I don’t think yer’d like yer fancy-man to see yer like this, would yer?’
This incensed Ruby and she lashed out with a foot, catching Bob on his shin. And when he let out a sharp cry of pain, she laughed hysterically. ‘Hurt yer, did it?’ Again her foot came out, but Bob was prepared and stepped back, managing to keep his grip on her wrists.
‘I’m going to give yer one last warning, Ruby, and yer’d do well to listen. If yer don’t stop this right now, I’ll be down to the rent office on Monday and tell them I’m leaving. And seeing as I’m the tenant, you would be evicted and find yerself without a roof over yer head. If that happens, yer’ll have no one to blame but yerself. And the warning stays in place even when I’m gone. If yer give Lucy a hard time I won’t hesitate to have yer put out.’
If looks could kill, Bob would have been dead on the spot. But the expression in her eyes was the only opposition Ruby put up. Whether he would ever carry out his threat, or if his words were just hot air, she wasn’t prepared to take a chance. But she remained defiant to the end. ‘Let go of me hands, I want to get ready to go out and meet me friends.’
After releasing her hands, Bob pulled a chair from the table and sat down. He was a bundle of nerves. It wasn’t in his nature to threaten, but there was no other way of doing it. ‘I’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight. And if yer come home drunk, full of Dutch courage and bravado, don’t bother trying to get in this room because I’ll have a chair behind the door so yer can’t open it.’
Ruby picked up her bag and left the room without a word. And Bob stayed where he was until, fifteen minutes later, he heard her coming down the stairs then the front door close behind her. Only then did he start putting his plans into action. He rooted out an old battered suitcase from under the stairs, put it on the couch and opened the lid. It was as old as the hills and smelt musty, but there was nothing else, so needs must when the devil drives, he thought. He took a pair of sheets and two pillowslips from the cupboard in the recess and laid them on the bottom of the case before gathering his belongings together. There wasn’t much, just his clothes, razor and overalls. And when he’d finished, he looked down with sadness. ‘Not much to show after working for twenty-five years,’ he said as he closed the lid. ‘Me mother would turn in her grave if she saw me now.’
Bob looked around to see if he’d forgotten anything, then took the stairs two at a time to the bedroom. He stripped a blanket off the
bed and put a pillow under his arm. All he had to do in the morning was wrap the pillow in the blanket, pick up his case and walk away. The thought gave him no pleasure. It wasn’t easy to walk away from a house that had been his home for nearly twenty years. He remembered the day he’d moved in with his new bride, looking forward to a life of happiness. And the day Lucy had been born, in this very room, he thought there was nothing he could wish for that he didn’t have. Little did he know then what the future held in store for him. If he had known, would he have acted differently? Would he have been stricter with Ruby? No, he knew he wouldn’t. It wasn’t in his nature to lay the law down, not to the woman he’d married. And when he finally did wake up to reality, the rot had set in and it was too late. Too late for him, too late for his beloved daughter, and too late for Ruby to change.
Bob sighed deeply as he made his way downstairs. He’d made the break now and nothing would alter that. Better to have few possessions and be happy, than live a life of misery.
Aggie was firmly settled in Irene’s fireside chair when Bob arrived. She noted his pale face and haunted eyes and her heart went out to him. But she was wise enough to know sympathy was the last thing he needed now. ‘I know ye’re thinking I’m a nosy old cow, Bob, but I didn’t want to hear all yer news secondhand. And I’m not nosy, lad, it’s because I care what happens to yer; we all do.’
George motioned for Bob to sit on the couch. ‘Park yer carcass, mate. Have yer had anything to eat?’
Bob shook his head. ‘No, but I’m not hungry. Me tummy’s too upset to eat.’ Before sitting down, he crossed to where Lucy was sitting at the table, facing Jack and Greg. He bent to kiss her. ‘All right, pet?’
‘Never mind me, Dad. Are you all right?’
‘Yes, I’m all right, love.’ Bob dropped wearily on to the couch. ‘But I wouldn’t like to go through that again for all the money in the world.’
‘We could hear me mam shouting and I was worried,’ Lucy said. ‘Did she take off on yer like she always does?’