by Willow Rose
"My words exactly," I said and paused. "What about you?"
"What about me?"
"I have known you for two years now and I have never heard about any women in your life."
"I have you," he said laughing. "You're the only woman in my life. You and Julie of course."
I drank some more wine and stared at the starry night in front of us. It had gotten really cold now but it was such a beautiful clear night and I didn't want it to end. I inhaled the crispy air.
"Here," Sune said and wrapped his arm and his blanket around me. I was leaning my head on him. He smelled good. I had never thought about it but he was actually quite good-looking underneath all the black make-up and the Mohawk. He had a pretty face and spectacular eyes. "You'll find someone," I said.
Then he looked at me and I suddenly had the oddest feeling inside of me. My fear was confirmed when he leaned over and grabbed my chin. He lifted my face till my lips met his. Then we kissed. Tenderly, awaiting at first, then aggressively and demanding.
I pulled away. "Sune. We can't do this," I said. My head was spinning from the wine. I had drunk too much, I let my guard down. I sat up and pulled away from him. "This was really stup ..." Sune grabbed my neck and pulled my face close to his again. Then he kissed me passionately. Like he had wanted to do this for years, yearned, longed for this to happen. I kissed him back for a few seconds before I managed to push him away.
"Sune. We really can't do this," I repeated.
"Why not?" he muttered under his breath. "Why?"
"Because we work together. Because we have children. Because you're ten years younger than me. You should find some nice girl your own age. Not an old hag like me."
Sune got up from the couch we had been sitting on. There was hurt in his eyes when he looked at me. "So I'm too young?"
"No. Yes. Well it's not just ... for Christ sake, Sune. We work together."
"I'd better go now," he said.
"Don't leave mad," I said.
He bit his lip. "No, no it's okay. I understand. You don't want me." He paused. "I'll come and get Tobias tomorrow."
"Sune. Don't leave. Let's talk about this ..."
But Sune had already turned his back to me and left.
CHAPTER 9
ANDERS HOEJMARK HAD LOVED badminton all his life. It wasn't so much the game itself as it was the social aspect of it. It was a great way to meet people. At the local club in Karrebaeksminde Anders Hoejmark met many in his job as president. Club members called him 'Mr. President' when they met him inside of the hall, or in the cafeteria. They would greet him with a smile and say "Hello Mr. President. The kids would yell it as well. "Hi Mr. President" and he would pat them on their heads and ask them if they were going to grow up to be as big as the Danish players Camilla Martin or Peter Gade who had been among the world's best players.
He enjoyed it immensely. The respect, the authority he had in this club. Being the daily leader gave him so much more joy than any other job he had before. Whenever he stepped inside this sports center he was in charge. He was the king. He would tell the cleaning crew that they had done a great job in the dressing rooms or that they needed to take care of the men's restrooms one more time since someone just messed it up, because people were sometimes so gross - even the nice people attending this sports center. Some of the younger punks would throw paper towels in the toilet and clog it. He would track them down and punish them that was certain. He would ban them from the center for a month if they didn't behave or follow the rules. He threatened to call their parents if necessary. If they pleaded and begged him not to tell? Then he would let them pay right there on the spot. He would drag them to his office and lower the shades. Then he would unzip his pants and have them give him a blow-job.
After that they would be off the hook. Until next time they did something to piss him off. There was always someone who would get in trouble. Anders Hoejmark saw it as his duty to teach them a lesson.
Yes, badminton was a wonderful way to meet new people, Anders Hoejmark thought to himself as he walked through the cafeteria greeting people with smiles and nods. They were serving meatballs with mashed potato today and he wouldn't miss it for the world. Friday night was always a busy night at the sports center and it never closed until nine. He took in a deep breath and filled his nostrils with the scent of sweat as he walked by a group of young boys sitting around a table with their rackets in bags standing next to them. One of them dropped a pack of feather balls in front of Anders so they were scattered all over the floor. Anders Hoejmark stopped and sighed deeply. The young man gasped. Anders Hoejmark smiled. Then he patted the boy's head.
"Just make sure you pick them all up," he said and moved along towards the line. Normally he would have said something worse to the young man, but not today. Today was a good day and a busy one as well.
As he glanced through the room his eyes met with those of a man. Anders Hoejmark felt excited on the inside. Those eyes did that to him. He had only known him a week, since the man had started coming in the club and they had only spoken a few times, but Anders Hoejmark had no doubts. This man was someone special. He was different than anyone he had ever met before. This could very well evolve into something bigger. Normally when Anders Hoejmark met guys like him at the club they would meet once or twice in the men's dressing room and have casual sex and then they would never speak again. That was usually how it went. But this time Anders Hoejmark had a feeling that this could be more than just a fling, more than a one-night stand. Even if he hadn't known the man for long and never spoken more than a few sentences with him he knew that he could love this man. He could fall for him. Right now they shared a secret so delightful Anders Hoejmark had a difficult time containing it. They were going to finally meet. Later this day, tonight.
Anders Hoejmark had spotted him one day a week ago when he had been playing with another man in the hall. He had seen him from his office upstairs that had a view over the entire arena and all the nets. He had seen the man and studied his physique; every fiber and muscle in his body and Anders Hoejmark had a hard time restraining himself. He was so incredibly attracted to the man physically at that moment. He wanted him, he wanted to touch those muscular arms and massage those beautiful legs. He wanted to nibble his ears and kiss his neck.
But the man was way out of his league, and straight too, he had thought sadly to himself. There was no way he would be interested in a bald old man like Anders Hoejmark. He had stared at himself in the mirror at the restroom and sighed.
Love hadn't been easy for Anders Hoejmark. It had in fact been almost non-existent in his life. If it was because he was gay or because he had no idea how to love others, he didn't know. But one thing he did know: he didn't love himself. He hadn't been able to stand himself ever since ... since. He knew there was no use in hanging on to the past. It was twenty years ago and he had gotten away with it.
"Still you have to live with it the rest of his life," he told his reflection in the men's restroom mirror. He would have cried in self-pity if the door hadn't opened at that very moment and the man had stepped in. Anders Hoejmark gasped at the sight of his face behind him in the mirror. The man smiled the most charming smile, and then he came really close to Anders Hoejmark. He had gently touched his neck and caressed his face and hair. A shiver of almost orgasmic proportions had gone through Anders Hoejmark's body. Then the man had leaned over him and whispered in his ear.
"I want to meet with you."
Anders Hoejmark had gasped at the sound of his voice so close to his ear. Everything about this man was so desirable.
"The men's dressing room next Friday after I've closed the center. I'll leave the back-door open," Anders Hoejmark whispered with quivering voice.
The man smiled in the mirror and then licked the back of Anders Hoejmark's ear causing him to tremble with desire and lust for him right then and there. Anders Hoejmark had closed his eyes taking in every seconds of this moment.
When he opened them the m
an was gone.
CHAPTER 10
FRIDAY HAD FINALLY ARRIVED. Anders Hoejmark was whistling as he finished his meatballs and mashed potato in his office while watching the players sweat and throw themselves around on the court to strike the feathered shuttlecock or birdie as some preferred to call it. It was indeed a beautiful game. And the Danish league was known to be one of the strongest in the world. Anders Hoejmark was proud to be a part of something this big something the entire nation could be proud of. He loved everything about it: the aerodynamics of the shuttlecock, the athletic players, the sweat on the player's foreheads, the tight shorts. He used to play it himself. When he was a child it had always been the source of much joy. Even if he didn't play any longer it still provided joy into his life, he thought and looked at his watch. It was almost nine and about time to close up, he thought with a thrill. He watched as the players finished their last game and started to pack up. They disappeared into the dressing rooms for a little while then returned with wet hair and clean clothes. They were laughing, chatting as they left the sports center one by one and soon Anders Hoejmark felt the silence slowly fall upon the great gymnasium. He loved these moments just as much as he enjoyed it when the center was filled with people. The quiet moments and the anticipation were both precious as well.
Anders Hoejmark went on his usual rounds. First he checked the cafeteria to see if the lady had remembered to shut off everything. He had heard of a gymnasium in Holte that burned down because someone forgot to shut off the fryer. Ever since then he had made it a habit to check all the equipment in the kitchen to make sure nothing could burn it all down. He checked the coffeemaker, the fryer, the pan, the toaster, everything. Anders Hoejmark was a very thorough man so even if he was in a hurry this day to get to the dressing room and get ready for his date he didn't slack on the security. After the cafeteria he locked all the doors - except the backdoor of course. He put in a small piece of wood to keep it open so the man would know that this was the door. With a thrill of excitement running through his body Anders Hoejmark checked the last things, made sure that all shuttlecocks were picked up, and forgotten towels, shirts and shorts put in the lost-and-found box by the entrance for people to find next time they arrived to play.
Then he could finally enter the men's dressing room. He put some water on his hands and washed his face. Then he combed the last remains of hair he had, trying to cover as much as possible of his growing baldness. He was sweating and wiped his face with paper towels. It wasn't like him to be this nervous. This meeting had to be something special. It felt like such a defining moment in his life. Like this was the moment that could change his life forever. Finally he had met someone he could imagine having a real relationship with.
Anders Hoejmark glanced around the room and suddenly regretted the surroundings he had chosen for their first meeting. He should have chosen something better, something signaling that he wanted more than casual sex. But Anders Hoejmark wanted both. He wanted the rough casual sex as well as the romance and love. Up until now he had only known the first; he had never experienced the second part. He had no idea how to go about it, how to do that. But maybe the man would know? Maybe he could show him how to love? Anders Hoejmark hoped it and wished for this to happen so deeply that every fiber in his body craved it. This was it.
It was now or never.
When the door opened to the dressing room Anders Hoejmark smiled and turned around feeling his heart racing in his chest and the adrenalin rushing through his veins.
Then he froze. The sight of a tall woman in a blue evening-gown made his body feel heavy like stone.
I should have known, he thought to himself. I should have known that I wasn't going to get away with this after all. I should have known that the past would come back to haunt me some day.
It always does.
She was moving slowly towards him raising the scalpel in her hand. She reached out with the other hand and grabbed Anders Hoejmark by the throat. He tried to fight her, but she was too strong. Almost supernaturally strong.
"Please," he pleaded half choked. "It's been twenty years."
The woman didn't speak, she only giggled like a little girl as she cornered Anders Hoejmark against the light blue tiles in the bath where he had so often enjoyed the secret pleasures of the flesh with fleeting acquaintances. His deadly screams were echoed in the gymnasium as the scalpel went slowly through the skin of his forehead.
CHAPTER 11
BRIAN POULSEN WAS TIRED. He always was these days. Heck he had always been. Twenty-three and he could never get out of bed in time. Not back when he was in school, before they threw him out, not when he had his first job at an auto repair shop that his mom had gotten for him and that he later was fired from. No Brian Poulsen had never been an early riser and he certainly wasn't this Saturday morning when he had to get out of bed and go to the sports center across town to open the doors for the group of telemarketing workers that had rented the gymnasium for two hours as part of the company's yearly picnic and "get-together" for all its workers.
Brian Poulsen did not enjoy having to leave his warm bed on a Saturday morning at eight thirty after a night playing Diablo III on his computer. But he had to. There was no way he could screw this one up his social worker had told him. If he wanted to continue receiving his social welfare he had to take this job. It was part of his "activation-package" that the county had ordered for all people on welfare. Brian Poulsen found it ridiculous. All these rules and regulations didn't help him one bit. It only made him resent working even more. Now he had to get up every weekend and open the gymnasium for people who seriously wanted to spend their Saturdays and Sundays chasing a stupid feather-shuttlecock around a small court. Just because the leader of the place wanted to be able to sleep in during the weekends. Brian Poulsen cursed the leader as he parked the bike in the rack in front of the sports center. He sighed and shivered. It was cold this morning even if it had been warm the day before. It was definitely going to be fall soon. Brian Poulsen couldn't wait for the cold to come back. He didn't care much for summer. He hated spending time outdoors. Why people insisted on going to the beach and running around half-naked in the parks, he never understood. He didn't even like barbeque so he always refused if his parents invited him while he was at their house to give his mom the weekly bag of laundry. Brian Poulsen would rather just order in a pizza and play on his computer.
"Is that all you're ever going to do with your life?" his mother would ask with worry in her eyes.
He would answer by shrugging. He really didn't know. He had no ambitions or any dreams for his life. He used to though. He had dreamed about becoming a writer. But then he had written a short-story in high school and his teacher had absolutely hated it. Told him he would do the world a huge favor by never writing anything again. It just wasn't for him. It wasn't his thing.
Brian Poulsen found the key to the entrance of the gymnasium and opened it with a deep sigh. It wasn't that bad a job after all, he thought to himself. He walked from door to door and unlocked each and every one. When he came to the door in the back of the building he was surprised that it was already open. Not just unlocked like someone had forgotten to lock it, but propped open with a small piece of wood. On the broad handle Brian Poulsen discovered something else. Something was on it. He touched it and felt disgusted.
It was blood.
Thinking that someone probably just hurt themselves while playing badminton he wiped the blood off his hand in his pants with repulsion then continued opening up the gymnasium and went into the cafeteria where he turned on all the machines: the coffeemaker, the fryer, the pan, the toaster. Simply making sure that everything was ready for the lady who worked there when she arrived at nine. Then he walked downstairs onto the courts and swept them with a mop to make sure there was no old sweat or dirt on them. He unlocked the cabinets with extra shuttlecocks and racquets. He found clean towels and took out a new pack of paper towels and went towards the dressing room. He had his
hands full so he had to push the door open with his back. Brian Poulsen yawned a few times as he walked inside and put the towels on a bench. Then he opened the pack of paper towels and took them out ready to fill up the container next to the sink.
When he lifted his head and looked into the mirror he saw more blood smeared all over the light blue tiles in the bath. Brian Poulsen turned his head slowly; his heart was beating fast in his chest. What he saw next made him gasp for breath and drop the paper towels, scattering them all over the floor.
CHAPTER 12
I WOKE UP WITH a headache. It had to be all that wine; I thought and went into the bathroom to take a quick shower. The water felt nice on my body and slowly I woke up.
Julie and Tobias were still sleeping in her room when I checked on them afterwards. I sighed and got dressed while remembering the night before with Sune at the porch. I really hoped that this wasn't going to be a problem between the two of us. I loved working with him and enjoyed his company immensely. I really didn't want to lose him. I was afraid that this thing would come between us.
I brushed my hair and looked at my face in the mirror. I was getting older. The last couple of years had been hard on me. That Sune in any way had interest in me romantically was a huge surprise to me. I was an old woman compared to him. He was in his twenties and should find a girl the same age and with the same interests as him. We were nothing alike if you thought about it. All we had in common was our job. He couldn't possibly be interested in me could he? He had in no way shown that before. It was actually quite a shock. What was more shocking to me was that I enjoyed his kiss. I liked it.
I exhaled and put the brush down. But it could never be. I might have liked the kiss but I wasn't interested in him like that. How could I be?