His pace picks up and once again he brings me to the edge only to slow down and torture me with his fingers.
“Please, Trevor,” I beg rolling my head from side to side.
He leans in and silences my ‘please’ with his mouth. I raise my hips off the bed and my whole body tenses until it feels like I am floating. Flying through outer space with no end in sight. I hear Trevor yell my name and when my eyes are once again focused he is lying beside me with his arm on my stomach playing with the ring he just placed on my finger.
I turn my head and kiss him.
“Now I know why you had me take my clothes off at the door,” I say.
He laughs and brings my hand to his mouth and kisses my fingers one by one.
Chapter Six
I wake the next morning to the sound of Trevor yelling and cussing in the kitchen. When I finally make it to the kitchen, it’s full of smoke, and he is standing in front of the sink fanning the air with a towel in his hands.
“Babe, what the hell?”
“Fucking bacon!” he yells.
I walk to the stove, see the burnt bacon and I throw my head back and laugh.
“I swear that shit is the leading cause of house fires! Walk away for two seconds and the whole place is full of fucking smoke!”
My eyes are full of tears and I watch him take the pan of grease and chuck it in the garbage.
“Get dressed we are going out for breakfast!” he states and walks past me to the front door slamming it behind him.
I can’t help but giggle as I make my way back upstairs and throw on some clothes. When I walk past the mirror I pause and look. My hand with the ring on it makes its way to the top of my head and pulls my hair up in to a messy bun. The sight of it on my finger makes me smile wider than I have in years.
Trevor completes me. My life is now whole. As it was always meant to be.
When I make it to the car, Trevor is already in the driver seat waiting.
“Fucking bacon.” He just shakes his head.
The one place that I love to go to for breakfast is a small little hole in the wall café that is only open for a few hours a day. It holds a lot of memories of mornings I would come in to get food and be so hung over I could barely hold my head up. But the owner, Miss Perry, has always been like a grandmother to me.
She would always bring me her own special hangover brew and sit and talk with me about how I needed to straighten up and start living a new life. She was the only person who could talk to me about my drinking and me not flip out on them. Well besides Joslynn.
As soon as I walk in Miss Perry greets me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek doing the same to Trevor. She leads us to my normal seat and brings us both a coffee. I grab the menu and find what I hope is still on the menu. Miss Perry is not much for change but once in a while she will take off some of the old to make room for some new things.
“I know what you want, sweetie,” she says smiling at me.
“I’ll have a breakfast platter with extra bacon,” Trevor orders and I can’t help but bust out laughing.
“Dare I ask?” she says curiously.
I shake my head and raise my hands to my mouth. Trevor turns his head and looks out the window mumbling, “Fucking bacon.”
Miss Perry giggles and turns to make our breakfast. Once my laughing dies down and I catch my breath we sit in silence for a while enjoying our coffee. Trevor’s cell phone dings and he takes it out of his pocket and turns back to the window not saying a word. The bell above the door dings and I look up to see Joslynn, Marshall and little man walk through the door. Marshall and Joslynn both with knowing smiles on their faces.
“Well hello, my newly engaged best friend,” Joslynn declares sitting down beside me. Marshall hands me lil man and sits down beside his brother patting him on the back.
“Congratulations, fucker,” he adds smiling.
I have called Elijah lil man since the day he came home. He is the most beautiful little boy I have ever had the pleasure of being around. He looks just like his daddy with small little blond curls at the back of his head. He raises his wet hand and starts to chew on his finger.
I lean in and kiss his head inhaling the smell of baby.
“He is getting so big.”
Joslynn turns to me and runs her hands through his hair smiling.
“He has almost three teefers now,” she informs.
“Teefers eh? You got teefers, lil man?” I ask Elijah.
He looks to me and smiles around his little hand.
“Congratulations, Tay.” Joslynn leans her head against mine.
I now feel like my family is whole with all of us sitting here smiling and talking about life and wedding plans. Miss Perry soon brings us our food and takes their order as well. She even spends time playing with lil man. Each time I look up I find Trevor looking at me smiling with love and what I can only place as admiration in his eyes.
“So Kipper started today?” I ask Jos after eating in silence for a few minutes.
“Yeah, I met him there this morning. He and his crew were there bright and early at six a.m.”
“Wow he meant business huh?”
She knew I wouldn’t be up that early if I didn’t have to be. I was a morning person to the extent of don’t talk to me until I have had my coffee. Then you can talk. I had once seen a cup that had different levels for the coffee and when it was okay to talk. I had joked about getting it.
“Yeah, they put a cute little sign out front with their company name on it showing that they were the ones working there.”
“That is one way to get the word out about themselves,” Marshall quips.
When they were starting up the tattoo shop Joslynn and I put signs all over town to help get the word out. It wasn’t too hard to do with them being the only shop for miles. But just putting out a sign and sitting and waiting wasn’t how they wanted to do it. Now there were people with shirts with the shops name and half the shops in town had a sign posted in their window. People for miles knew about their tattoo shop. I only hoped it would be that easy when Sunshine’s opened. We wouldn’t be the only restaurant in town but we would be new. So maybe the newness would attract customers.
“Well let’s hope his work is as good as he says,” Trevor says.
The conversation quickly went to other things. How the restaurant would look once we decorated, who would do most of the cooking. The list went on and on of the things we needed to do and the things the guys thought they could do to help when they weren’t at the shop.
“Well we have to take lil man to the babysitter. Do you want to meet me at Sunshine’s and see how things are coming along?” Joslynn looks at me.
I look to Trevor and wait for his answer. Not that I need permission I just don’t know his plans for the day. He nods his head and smiles.
“Go on, I have bacon grease to clean,” he responds.
I laugh and wait for Joslynn to slide out of the booth so we can get going. When I make it to Trevor, I kiss his cheek and inhale his smell to take with me the rest of the day. He smells like summer – like a long walk on the beach. If that even has a smell or maybe that is what he is for me? He’s my summer, my long walk on the beach.
Once we get in the car Joslynn starts in with a million questions.
“Dish woman!” She’s bouncing in the driver seat.
“Oh, Jos, it was the most beautiful thing. Flowers everywhere!” I lay my head back against the seat.
“When is the wedding?”
“We didn’t really uh talk about that part,” I reply blushing.
She laughs and looks my way for a second.
“I am so proud of you, Tay.”
“Thanks, it means a lot.”
“We need to start planning. We have plenty of time before the restaurant opens to get things planned. Maybe we could cater the reception there before we open to the public?”
“I like that idea.”
We pull up to the babysitters and I s
it in the car and wait for her to come back. They started taking lil man to a babysitter for a few hours each day after the shop was up and running so that it wouldn’t be hard on any of them when she started to work full time. Marshall did a full check on the babysitter about three times before he would let him stay with her – the overprotective dad that he was.
When Joslynn came back to the car we headed to Sunshine’s to see how things are going.
“How long do you think it will take before we can open?” I ask her.
“At least a few months, I’m sure.”
I nod my head and watch the trees pass by out the window. I never thought I would have to worry about planning a wedding. Now it is right in front of me and it’s mine to plan. I can feel the nerves balling up in front of me – ready to explode at any second.
Joslynn drives us into town. I think we are heading to the restaurant to see how things are going but she pulls up at Stress and Dresses, a wedding dress store instead. Weird name for a dress store but who am I to judge. The nerves of the wedding intensify by a million as I watch her unbuckle her seatbelt and start to get out of the car.
“Jos, what are we doing here?”
“Well the way I look at it, the guys don’t need us at the store and we can’t do anything at Sunshine’s so we are going to go wedding shopping! Get out of the car!” she says bouncing in her seat.
She looks like a kid who just learned their favorite cartoon is doing an all-day marathon. I look out the window at all of the wedding dresses set up for display and my hands start to sweat. My stomach is in knots and I feel like I am going to be sick on the sidewalk.
Get a hold of yourself, Taylor, you got this. Just dresses right? I chant in my head as I undo my seatbelt and open the door. As a child I wanted a dress just like Belle wore in my favorite movie. But that was when I thought I would be marrying Goofy. Now is a whole new story. Now I want to run for the hills and hide.
The bell over the door dings as we walk in and I hear Joslynn giggle from behind me. A cute redhead looks up as we walk in and heads our way.
“Hey, ladies, I’m Tiffany. So who is the lucky lady?” she asks looking from Joslynn to me.
“She is,” Joslynn answers and pats me on the back.
She looks to me and smiles. I can see small freckles all over her face and her dress looks like she walked out of a movie set.
“Congratulations! What kind of dress are you wanting for your big day?”
Her excitement only makes my stomach hurt more as she jumps around asking questions that I have no answer for. I shrug my shoulders not able to talk and she smiles wider as if that is even possible.
“That’s okay let’s just try on some different dresses until we find the right one okay? Right this way, ladies!” She turns away and starts towards a wall of dresses and with each step she seems to bounce on her feet.
“Here are some of our bestselling dresses if you will. Look through and see if you see anything you like! Would you ladies like some water or wine?”
“Wa…water please,” I request and smile.
She nods her head and walks back towards the counter. As soon as she walks away Joslynn starts to look through all of the dresses, checking prices on each one as she goes. She pulled a few off the rack, looked at them and then put them back. I watch her movements and it feels like everything is in slow motion like I have hit pause on myself but the world around me keeps moving like everything is okay. All the while I am two seconds from panic mode and no one seems to notice.
“See anything you like?” Tiffany asks handing us both a bottle of cold water.
I jump at the sound of her voice and slowly take the water. I open the bottle and take a few sips. The mixture of nerves on top of nerves and I feel like there is a cotton ball in my throat and I can’t breathe.
“Restroom?” My hand going to my mouth.
Tiffany looks at me with alarm in her eyes and points to the far wall. I nod my head and run in the direction of the woman’s room. As soon as I am in, I shut the door and lock it. I drop to the floor in front of the toilet not caring if the floor is clean or that I am in public and hold my head over the toilet.
Everything that I had eaten and drank soon making its way out. I hear a knock on the door and wipe my mouth on my sleeve. When I open the door Joslynn holds up the water and walks in shutting the door behind her.
“Are you okay?”
“Fine, just nerves.”
“How long has nerves been making you sick?” Jos drills me.
“What do you mean?”
“Have you been sick more than this time?”
“Once but that was weeks ago,” I reply.
“Tay, are you and Trevor getting married for other reasons?”
I know what she is trying to ask me but it doesn’t make sense why would I do that? I can’t be pregnant. I would know by now and I’d be getting sick a lot more than just once a week.
“NO! Why would you ask me that? It’s nerves, Joslynn. We are picking out wedding dresses for my wedding!” I shake my head and walk past her and out the door.
Why would she even ask me something like that? I walk back to the wall of dresses and start looking through them. Joslynn walks up beside me and grabs my arm. She and I haven’t had an argument in a long time. She is my best friend – the one who I talk to about everything. Being mad at her feels like being mad at myself.
It’s hard to stay that way. I take a deep breath and turn towards her.
“I am sorry. I just thought you would be excited and I wanted to be the one to shop with you. I didn’t know that it would make you that nervous to do this. And what I said in the bathroom… I’m sorry, Tay. I just wanted to ask. I know it was out of line to ask that.”
“It’s okay. It’s just that I never thought I would clean up enough for anyone to love me. I am excited but all of this is just a little overwhelming. I want to plan and marry tomorrow but this is just… so much, Jos. All of these dresses are so expensive.”
She smiles and tugs my arm towards the door.
“Thanks for coming!” Tiffany says as we walk out.
“I should have known that wouldn’t be what type of wedding dresses you would want anyway. Come on I have an idea.” She giggles and pulls me towards the car.
Chapter Seven
Joslynn parks the car next to the woods line of a river I know all too well. This was our favorite place to swim as kids. Joslynn would always dive down and pretend she was a fish with a fish family. She used to say that any fish family was better than the family she had. I wipe the tears from my cheeks and step out of the car a bounce in my step this time.
We walk down the woods trail and sit under the trees. Big rocks line the outside of the river where others have come to swim. Being back here seems to bring the kid out in both of us.
“Remember the last time we were here?” I ask.
Joslynn turns towards me and crosses her legs pulling at the grass as she looks out over the water.
“Do you think they are still down there?”
My mom would let us come down here and swim during the summer. She would pack a cooler and we would spend all day in the water. The one thing Jos’ dad always held on to was her mom’s wedding rings. He used to shove it in her face and yell at her about how she took that life away from him. One day she took the rings from her dad while he was passed out and hid them at my house until we came to swim again.
We had been swimming for hours with her holding on to the rings and mocking her father until she broke down and cried and threw the rings in the air – both of us watching as they sank under water. We both cried for hours longer. She said that day it felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders even though we both knew he would be pissed when he looked for them and couldn’t find them.
“Probably,” I answered.
That day we both said that if we ever had a problem or a worry we would throw it in the river and watch it sink. Let the weight of the water weigh
down the weight of the worry. The water seemed to handle it better than we could any ways and if it was in the bottom of the river there was no way either of us could pick it back up and worry again.
“I think that was the day I finally decided that no matter what that man said nothing else would weigh me down.” Jos deadpans.
“Yep.” I pick up a rock and close my eyes. “This is for the restaurant and the wedding. Neither are going to be the death of me. We are going to rock that shit!” I throw a rock in the water. Letting go of the breath I didn’t realize I was holding in.
“This is for being a better mom than mine was,” Joslynn adds and throws a rock too.
Lying back against my rock again, I close my eyes and listen to the sound of the water and the things in the woods around us. Being here always seemed to take it all away without ever having to proclaim it, sometimes it just helps to say it.
***
The ride back home is both quiet and relaxing as Joslynn and I feel like neither of us has to say anything more than what we said beside the water. When Joslynn drops me off, I walk into the quiet house and take a shower and plan dinner for the night. Trevor was so amazing with his proposal I want to surprise him with a dinner to show him how excited I am to carry his last name finally.
Once I am dried off and dressed I walk to the kitchen and click the radio on. The sound of the music and the smell of the food is soothing after a long day. Not long after I pull the chicken from the oven Trevor walks in.
“Hey, baby, hungry?” I ask smiling.
He walks to me and wraps his arms around me. I lean my head back and kiss him. His arms tighten around me and he deepens the kiss.
“Mmmm coming home to you is like walking into heaven.” He leans in to kiss me again.
My stomach rumbles and we both laugh. He lets me go and I fill our plates.
“How was your day?” I ask after eating in silence for a few minutes.
“It was good. Yours?” I leave out all of the wedding shopping and me getting sick again.
He looks to me and waits like he already knows and I curse Joslynn and her big mouth.
Revive Me (Say Something Book 3) Page 3