“I know she has always kept everyone here in her prayers as well. Her heart broke having to leave. And she damn near died before Da got her home. The lashes on her back festered.” He looked away. “That was my fault.”
“What are you talking about?”
“He beat her because she was trying to save me.”
“He beat her because he was an angry, bitter man. And as bad as you feel, how bad do you think she’d have felt if she’d let him continue beating you? You would have died. Would you want her suffering that guilt?”
“Nay, I don’t suppose so. I’d never thought of it that way.”
“Then, it’s time you start. You both lived and thrived and that’s what’s important.”
He couldn’t argue the point. “Aye, that’s true.”
“So, no more talk of it’s being anyone’s fault but the laird’s.”
“It’s still hard to think of how he treated her. But, speaking of him, this morning he told me his story about why he wanted the Ruthven title and lands.”
Moyna nodded. “Aye, in sending Lady Katherine off to the Highlands, he did get his heart’s desire. He married Moibeal Dundas and she was a perfectly lovely woman. She was kind and compassionate and just as Vida does now, she could temper his anger. He has mellowed considerably.”
Tomas frowned. He wasn’t sure how to ask what he wanted to know.
“You don’t believe he’s mellowed?”
“Nay, it’s not that. I have seen it with my own eyes.”
“But something is bothering you?”
“Aye. I guess I’m a little surprised that Lady Katherine has been forgotten. One of my first evenings here, Vida told me her uncle Ainsley died with no children.”
Moyna sighed. “Aye, Lady Vida believes that, but it doesn’t mean we’ve forgotten Lady Katherine. As soon as it became evident to the laird that he was going to be able to marry Lady Moibeal, he forbade anyone to mention Lady Katherine ever again. Mind you, Lady Moibeal had met Katherine years before and knew that the king had arranged a marriage for her. But she didn’t know all of the circumstances and Laird Ruthven didn’t fill in the details. He allowed Lady Moibeal to believe that Lady Katherine wanted to marry Laird MacIan as much as the king wanted them married. The laird threatened us with our lives if we ever disavowed her of that notion. So, because we were never to mention Lady Katherine, by the time Lady Vida was old enough to understand anything, she had never heard anyone speak of her cousin. I expect if her mother had lived, she might have told Lady Vida about Katherine, but you can be sure the laird never will.”
Tomas shook his head in disgust. It was just wrong.
“Tomas, lad, if you think anyone has forgotten Lady Katherine and the sacrifices she made for this clan, the fact that so many of us know who you are and haven’t said anything should be testament to the contrary.”
“I know and I understand. I just wish that Vida could know about her.”
“Well, you’ve never vowed not to speak of Lady Katherine.”
“I know, but I can’t tell her without revealing who I am and I have no intention of doing that. I’m going home, in spite of what Laird Ruthven wants.”
“What do you mean, in spite of what he wants?
Tomas sighed. “This morning he called me into his solar to ask if I would stay on as his commander. It was all I could do not to laugh in his face.”
Moyna’s brows drew together. “Why would you laugh at that?”
“I can’t be his commander. I can’t work for him forever. After everything he’s done? Nay, Moyna, I can’t. Besides, I certainly couldn’t live a lie for the rest of my life. I’m not Tomas MacHenry, one of Laird Carr’s guardsmen.”
“Well, let’s consider this. What the laird did so many years ago was intended for his own selfish purposes, but as it turned out, it benefited others too. Lady Katherine is married to a man she loves, and who loves her back. That alone is miraculous. You are a fine man and a skilled warrior. Had you stayed here, if he didn’t manage to kill you, you’d be working in the stables.”
“That’s because of Katherine, not him.”
“But Katherine wouldn’t have been able to help you if she hadn’t been married to Laird MacIan. And as far as working for him goes, you’re doing that now. Why did you agree to it?”
“Because I was worried about this clan. I still am. If someone decided to lay siege right now, I fear we wouldn’t be able to defend Cotharach.”
“So, you’re working for the clan.”
“Aye.”
“Then if you stayed, wouldn’t you still be working for the clan? Lady Katherine’s clan? Your clan?”
“I have been a MacIan for nineteen years.”
“I know. But let me ask you this, are you Laird MacIan’s heir?”
“No, of course not. James is.”
“Because…?”
“Because he’s their natural son. It’s the law.”
“Aye, it’s the law. Tomas, I know they love you because I know Lady Katherine. And maybe they would have wanted for you to have been their heir, but it can’t be that way. Their oldest son will inherit his father’s title and lands. And if something happened to him, the younger son would. And if something happened to him, their daughter and her husband would. And if something happened to her, you still might not be their heir if Laird MacIan has any blood relatives. Why? Because you were not born a MacIan. You were born a Ruthven. And the Ruthvens need you now more than the MacIans ever will.”
She was right. Tomas knew she was, but he didn’t want to accept it. “What about my identity? Like I said, I can’t live a lie forever.”
“Then don’t. If you decide to stay, tell him who you are. Frankly, at this point, I don’t think it will make a bit of difference. But if it does and he sends you packing, you’ve lost nothing. You intended to leave anyway.”
“You have a point.”
They sat in the silence of the church as Tomas thought through everything they’d discussed. Everything Moyna had said was true. Still, Tomas’s heart was with his family in the Highlands. He was a MacIan and he was proud of it. But he couldn’t deny, he was a Ruthven too, and that was why he was here in the first place.
He sighed. “I don’t think I want to stay here forever. I love my family. But I can’t deny that I’m needed here. What I will tell Laird Ruthven is that I will agree to be his commander in the short-term. I will stay as long as it takes to train, or hire someone to take my place.”
“Will you tell him who you are?”
“I don’t see the benefit in that. For now, I’ll remain Tomas MacHenry.”
“Well, that’s fair enough for the time being. Now, come to the kitchen. I have nut-bread coming out of the oven and it was always your favorite.”
He grinned, only too happy to comply.
Once back at the kitchen, Moyna gave him a loaf warm from the oven before he returned to the keep. He’d tell Ethan and Drew his plans first. Then, he’d find the laird.
He walked along, breaking off bits of the sweet bread and popping them in his mouth. As he stepped through the main doors, to his delight, Vida emerged from the stairs.
She smiled at him. “Good morning, Tomas.”
He gave a slight bow. “Good morning. Ye’re looking very beautiful this morn.”
The comment had its desired effect. She looked down and blushed. By everything that was holy, he wanted to kiss her again. But before he could take a step towards her, he heard footsteps on the stairs. It was then that he noticed she carried a long mantle over one arm. “Where are you going on this fine day?”
“Moyna said she was baking sweet loaves this morning. So, I was planning to pay a few visits to some of our older clansmen and women and I’ll take the loaves with me.” She glanced at the half-eaten one in his hand and grinned. “That is if you’ve left any.”
“Ah, lass, there were plenty to go around when I left the kitchen.”
“Why were you in the kitchen anyway?”
He shrugged. “Why else? I love nut-bread and I heard she was baking this morning.”
Vida laughed and said, “You’re a rogue,” just as her father stepped out of the stairwell.
“What’s he done that makes him a rogue?” her father asked congenially.
“He beat me to the kitchens to get a sweet loaf before I delivered them all to the elders.”
“Did he? I expect I’d better go as well if I want one for myself,” her father teased.
“Oh, Papa, you know Moyna will set one aside for you. She always does. Now, if you’ll both excuse me, I’ll be on my way.”
She took several steps towards the outer doors.
“Wait a moment,” said Tomas. “Who’ll be escorting ye?”
She laughed. “I don’t need an escort. I’m just going to the village and it’s broad daylight.”
Tomas frowned. “My lady, I would prefer ye had an escort ere ye leave the castle walls.”
She frowned. “I’m just going to the village. I don’t need an escort. Tell him, Papa.”
Laird Ruthven looked at Tomas. “You believe this is important?”
“Aye, sir, I do. She’s precious to ye and she’s just a lass. It may be overcautious, but better that than sorry.”
“Papa, you’ve never sent a guard with me before. What could happen to me in the village?”
Her father frowned. “I don’t want to find out. Nay, Tomas is right. Having a guardsman go with you is a reasonable precaution for your safety.”
Vida scowled. “I have other things to do today. I don’t have time to wait for you to arrange an escort.”
Her father shrugged. “Well then, perhaps you should go with her today, Tomas. Vida won’t be delayed and it will give you a chance to meet some of the clan elders.”
“I’d be happy to, Laird.”
The scowl on Vida’s face shifted into a smile. “Well, if I won’t be delayed…”
“Ye won’t be,” assured Tomas. “I’ll just get my sword belt while ye go to the kitchen for the sweet loaves. I’ll meet you there in a few moments.”
“Very well, I’ll meet ye there.” She beamed at him before leaving the keep.
“Excuse me, Laird. I don’t want to keep Lady Vida waiting.”
He chuckled. “Nay, we wouldn’t want that.”
Much to his delight, Tomas spent the next hour or so visiting elders with Vida. He also realized that, like Moyna had said, many of these older people appeared to recognize him, presumably because of the resemblance he bore to his father. But also like Moyna, they didn’t reveal that openly. Still, he could tell by the way they greeted him. And after chatting a few minutes with each of them, he couldn’t deny that these people were important to him. He considered them his clansmen and women.
It wasn’t until later that evening he was able to talk alone with Ethan and Drew and tell them about his decision.
“I’m not sure yer da’s going to like this,” said Drew.
“Not sure? I’m fairly certain he won’t,” said Ethan. “Staying here until spring is one thing. Staying longer? If the Ruthvens aren’t yet prepared for a siege, that’s madness.”
“Then we will just have to work hard to see that they’re ready,” said Tomas.
“And if they’re not? What of Lady Vida?” asked Ethan.
Tomas sighed heavily. “I’ll send her to Duncurra with ye. She can come back when it’s safe to do so.”
“Her father will never agree to that,” said Drew.
“I believe he will agree to anything I suggest, particularly where Vida’s safety is concerned.”
Chapter 10
August 3, 1378 (three months earlier)
On board the Mermaid Queen
Captain Daniel Lowther sat at the desk in his cabin to enter an account of the day into his private log. They were nearing the end of the last dogwatch. Although still twilight outside, it was too dark inside to see well enough to write. He chuckled to himself. There was a time in his youth when he might have been able to see the page but he hadn’t been the captain of a vessel then. “Lord, why do ye waste such gifts on the young who have little need for them?”
He chuckled again. He had found himself asking the Almighty this same question too many times recently and always imagined the same answer: My wisdom is not yours and this world is full of things you will never understand.
He sighed, lit a lamp, opened his log, and dipped his quill in ink. After dating the entry he began to write:
We sailed from Cadiz on the morning high-tide, heading SSE along the Andalusian coast. A brisk northerly wind favored us for the first several hours and once at sea we averaged four knots. But an hour into the afternoon watch, the winds calmed, picking up only slightly about two hours later. Since that time we have averaged barely over a knot although now the wind appears to be shifting westerly and we are currently sailing at about two knots. Our current position is approximately ten knots due west of Cape Trafalgar. When we pass the headland, we will shift our course to the SE.
Of note is the fact that about two hours after leaving Cadiz, sails were spotted to the north. It is most likely another merchant vessel that left port after the Mermaid, but it has remained in our wake at too great a distance to identify it.
An urgent knock sounded at the door.
“Enter.”
His cabin boy, Will, brow furrowed, entered the cabin, closing the door quickly behind him.
The captain frowned. “Lad, what has ye so concerned?”
“Captain, I think something’s wrong.”
The Captain had never seen Will appear so worried, even once when they’d sailed into the teeth of a fierce gale. “What is it?”
“That ship what’s followed us all day, has begun to gain speed.”
“The wind is picking up.”
“Aye, sir, but she’s been about ten knots back all day, now she’s but five.”
“Then the lookout should be able to see her colors.”
“Aye, and he says she’s a Portuguese merchant. Sir, she’s still too far away for me to see much, but she doesn’t look like any of the Portuguese ships that were in port nor do her colors resemble theirs. Plus, she seems high in the water—like she’s empty. I asked the first mate if he’d let me look through the scope. He boxed my ears and told me to mind the hourglass.”
Daniel frowned. Will was very bright and anxious to learn seafaring ways. Most of the men, including the first mate would usually spare a minute for him. “Was the sand running out, lad?” One of Will’s primary responsibilities throughout the day was to turn the hourglass every half-hour to keep track of time. The men depended on this to know the start and end of each watch.
“Nay, sir. There were a few more minutes left. Some of the other hands seem to be behaving strangely too.”
“How so?”
“Sort of nervous-like. Looking at the other ship. As soon as I turned the hourglass I slipped away down here. I thought you should know.”
Daniel had had a variety of cabin boys over the years. Some skilled and dedicated, some less so. If nearly any one of those lads, even the best among them, brought him this tale, he’d have shrugged it off, crediting it to a lad’s wild imagination. But Will was different. At only ten years old, he was what Daniel’s dear, departed wife would have called an old soul. He was steady, and serious—never given to flights of fancy. If the lad was this worried, Daniel needed to take it seriously.
“Right, then, let’s go topside and have a look.” As he stood from his desk, a wave of foreboding passed through him. He’d learned years ago not to ignore feelings like that. “On second thought, lad, ready my cabin for me for the night. And stay here until I get back.”
“But, Captain—”
“Don’t argue with me, lad. If it is a Portuguese merchant, I’ll come fetch you and give you a look. If it isn’t, I don’t want you on deck. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, sir.”
Daniel left his cabin and c
limbed the stairs to the deck. The first mate was still at the helm.
“Good evening, Captain.”
“Good evening, Desmond. Any report for me?”
“Nay, Captain. All’s quiet.”
Daniel looked around, assessing the wind and the Mermaid’s speed. They’d slowed down again, but the sails weren’t set to make the best use of the light wind they had. “Where is the Sailing Master?”
“He’s below, having his supper.”
“Did you not pay attention to the shifting winds? The sails need adjusting.”
“The winds have just now turned, Captain. I was preparing to get right on that.”
The Captain looked aft, and indeed, as Will had said, the other ship was gaining on them at an alarming speed. Irritated, he asked, “And the ship in our wake isn’t worthy of report?”
“No, sir,” answered the Mate. “It’s just a Portuguese merchant.”
“Give me the scope.”
“Certainly, Captain.”
The Mate handed him the telescope. Daniel lifted it to his eye. In the growing gloom it wasn’t easy to see. He moved toward the aft rail, adjusting the focus. “That isn’t a Portuguese Merchant…” something struck him in the back of the head. For an instant, all he felt was blinding pain, then nothing.
Chapter 11
Ambrose thought things were finally going his way. Four weeks ago, after the first message from Lindsay arrived, he had asked Tomas MacHenry to stay on permanently. The lad hadn’t agreed outright, but said he would stay until there was someone to replace him.
Gregor hadn’t been the least bit put out by this. He agreed that convincing Tomas to stay was in everyone’s best interest, including his own. Looking back over the last two months, Gregor said he could scarcely believe how much his own skills had improved. He wasn’t anxious for the Carrs to leave.
The clan seemed to love the Carr warriors in general and Tomas specifically. Ambrose simply had to find a way to persuade him to stay.
But tonight, an unwelcome message had arrived during the evening meal. Ambrose took one look at the seal and slipped it into the sleeve of his tunic.
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