“Don’t interrogate him, Alex,” my father said. “Just talk to him. See what he says. His sanity had been in question since before he murdered Derrick, so be careful with what you say. He completely lost it for days at a time when we had him in custody. I want information, not a slobbering madman. You were always his focus when we questioned him after we gave him the serum and I couldn’t figure it out. I want to know what’s going on.”
I walked into the room and Alan’s expression instantly changed from dazed and disoriented to one of complete focus.
“There you are,” he said.
I stood with my back pressed to the mirror partly to keep as much distance between Alan and me as possible and partly to obscure my facial expressions from scrutiny by the men behind the mirror.
“What do you want, Alan?”
His top lip curled up.
“You.”
He tested his bonds but could only move his head.
“Here I am,” I said.
“I can tell you don’t want to be here anymore than I do. You don’t need them telling you what you can and can’t do. You do just fine on your own. I can offer you freedom. Cut my bonds,” he said with a smile.
“I am free. You, on the other hand—”
I cocked my head to the side and smiled.
“I know you, Alex. Dad told me all about you. You’d rather be able to do what you want than take orders. These guys issue orders. They don’t ask. They don’t suggest. They tell. And they aren’t worthy to give you orders. Not a one of them has what you have. What is it you think they have?”
“Integrity,” I said.
My answer infuriated him and he struggled hard against his restraints.
“Get me out of here!” he yelled.
This went on for only a couple of seconds before he focused on me again. His upper lip lifted to show his teeth and an animalistic growl came from his throat.
“You,” he said. “I was caught because of you. You owe me. He wanted us to be partners. But, I got picked up as soon as I got back. He should have shipped you off to me instead.”
How could he think I owed him anything? The phrase struck a nerve. I didn’t owe anyone. I’d paid my dues. I’d done the work. I’d sucked it up and sacrificed. I didn’t owe anyone anything.
I grinned. Technically, I owed Mark Posner five million dollars because I didn’t plan on delivering any of the loyalty he paid for. I couldn’t stop the snicker from escaping.
Alan’s face went red.
“You’re the reason Stanton found me. My dad wanted me to come get you. Take you out of the country. He should have just shipped you to me instead, but he didn’t want to risk losing you. You and Dad owe me,” he said.
He tested his bonds again.
“You owe me! Cut me loose,” he demanded.
“No. You’d just try to kill me,” I said.
“I need permission before I can do that. You’re under Dad’s protection.”
That statement caught me off guard.
“Posner has me under his protection? Why would he be protecting me?” I asked.
“You’re his new project. I told you, you’ve got him wrapped up tight.”
Alan laughed.
“I finally saw it at the cabin, after Dad smacked you,” he said, his expression softening.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“The look.”
I shifted my feet and shrugged my confusion.
“The look?” I asked.
“Yes. The look. The one that tells everyone you won’t back down. You won’t give up. It’s what happens when you’re trained like we are. You aren’t afraid of anything. Your dad trained you the same way my dad beat lessons into me. We’re the same. You have what I have. We are the elite. We are the ones with the ability to win, no matter what. We are the alphas and alphas need to be together.”
He struggled in his bonds again and they seemed looser.
“You do what has to be done. You don’t hesitate. Dad said you killed without conscience.”
“I do what has to be done, but not without conscience,” I said.
My stomach turned because what he was saying felt so familiar. My conscience had never fully gone to sleep, but I’d been ignoring it more every day since I’d joined up with Mesa. Just doing the jobs to get through the day, stay busy.
“Back at the cabin,” he said. “You could have killed me.”
His face flushed and his chest moved deeply as he took in heavy breaths.
“But you played with me and fought hand-to-hand when you could have ended it all just by drawing your weapons. You couldn’t resist the urge to show your dominance, your ability to control the situation. Control me. You had to prove, the same as me, that you’re the alpha. I will always win our physical games. I have more raw power. I’m stronger.”
His eyes narrowed and he licked his lips.
“But you’re smart. My dad chose my partner well. Too bad you’re hung up on my old teammates.”
He looked past me into the mirror.
“I killed Derrick because he was too weak to take what he wanted. He wanted to run to the people who don’t deserve control.”
He focused on me again.
“Our job is to weed out the weak. They were all weak. They’re still weak. But you aren’t. You can’t be. We were trained to never be weak. It’s time for you to take what’s good for you.” He was practically pleading with me.
I backed up as close to the mirror as I could. This was disturbing. I’d had those thoughts. Take what I want, do what was right for me and to hell with everyone else.
“Cut my bonds, Alex. They are weak and we will always win,” he said.
He really was crazy if he thought the two of us could get past my partners. I still couldn’t help but wonder, if we worked together, could we get past them before they killed us.
I gave myself a mental slap. Why was I even considering that? I didn’t want Alan to be free. I didn’t want to be his partner in anything. Was he right? I had to know I could always win. Present me with a situation and I’d consider it, just for the challenge and being able to prove I could do it if I wanted to. Was I more like him than I wanted to admit?
“You’re right to be afraid of me,” he said and struggled a little more.
“You just said Posner was protecting me. Why should I be afraid?”
“Cut my bonds,” he ordered.
“I want to find your father. Where is he?”
“Get me out of here and he’ll find us. If you prefer him as your mate, that’s fine. Just know I plan to take everything that’s his at some point. It’s the natural way. The strong survive and the day I challenge my father is coming closer. Especially now that we have you. He says you belong to me, but if you choose him, he won’t object. I’ll play the good son until we have you tamed. We’ll take your loyalty if you don’t give it.”
“A mate?”
I was startled by his choice of words. I’d been treated like an object before, but this was the epitome of objectification. How anyone could treat someone like this and expect them to go along with it was difficult for me to grasp.
“Dad taught me that women were put on earth for us to spread our genes. It was up to us to train our children. Teach them to be men. Until I met you, I thought he was right. But you’re different. You’re an alpha, just like me.”
He nodded toward the mirror.
“You have every man you know wrapped up tight, just like my father. They can’t help but be drawn to your strength. It’s the natural law. The weak gravitate toward the strong. You will always win, like me, and they want to be a part of that. Most alphas surround themselves by lesser people like you’ve been doing. But I’m not threatened by your strength. I want to embrace it. Own it. Like White did. I want what he had. He was an alpha and that’s why we clashed, but I was always stronger. You were meant for me, not him. I deserve you and he deserved to die. You owe me for freeing you from that mediocre partners
hip.”
The way he talked about White made my blood boil. I was sick of hearing that I owed him and I belonged to no one. Some of his words had hit hard because I’d had those thoughts. Was I going crazy, like him?
He was right about one thing. If it hadn’t been for him, White would never have been killed. My father would never have had any part in killing him, Will would never have been held hostage. My patience broke. I was not crazy.
My anger was making it hard to breathe. I advanced on him.
“You have no right to talk about White. You have no idea what you took from me. It was so much more than you can comprehend. I don’t owe you anything, except a slow, agonizing death.”
I took another step toward him.
“You all owe me. I saved Posner’s ass so many times when I was with Mesa. I bet you didn’t know I’m the reason no one could find Will. I killed off all the leads that pointed to his location. My partners would never have known it was me. I protected their asses too. Gave up everything I loved to protect them. I’ll never do that again. And you think I owe you? You owe me. I got you out of that airport. If it weren’t for me, they would have taken you then. You’re damned lucky I didn’t kill you at the cabin. No one owes you anything. You owe the colors your life. If they hadn’t showed up at your cabin when they did, I would have killed you. Will might have had to suffer for that decision, but it was one I’d made. I was going to kill you with my bare hands. My weapons didn’t even cross my mind because I wanted to feel the life leave your body. You disgust me. No one owns me. I’m a trained killer. It’s what I do and I love my job. I love the kill. I love watching that bullet enter”—I pushed my finger into his forehead—“and explode out the back. It’s the only time I feel at peace since White died. How sick is that? And you say I owe you. You owe me for allowing you and your father to live. I promise to remedy that.”
“That’s the look. Cut my bonds,” he whispered hotly.
I pulled out my Beretta, straddled his lap, and shoved it to his forehead.
“Ready?” I asked as I slipped the safety off.
“Not yet,” he snarled.
“Why should I wait? You don’t know where your father is. You’re worth nothing to me. You told me to take what I want and I want you dead.”
“I was talking to Black,” he said.
The mention of Black’s name snapped me out of my rage and I felt ill.
“What game are you playing, Alan?” Black’s voice came from the doorway to my right. I hadn’t even noticed him enter I’d been so focused on my rage.
“I just wanted to smell my alpha again,” Alan said as he nuzzled my neck.
I jumped off him but kept my weapon aimed at his head.
“You’re sick,” I said.
“So are you, honey. We could be good together. Dad said you were mine when he finished with you. Told me you’d keep me focused. I only had to tame you.”
Blue pushed past Black and injected something into Alan’s arm.
I was still holding my weapon and caught myself trying to aim around Blue.
“He’s done for now. You can put the weapon away. He’ll be out for a couple hours,” Blue said.
I let my arms fall to my sides, but I didn’t put the pistol back in the holster.
Black moved out of the doorway so I could leave. My father stepped in my way as I walked through the hall toward the elevator lobby.
“Alex,” he said with concern and took me by my forearm.
I moved my weapon to my free hand and gave him a level look, fighting not to raise it.
“Admiral.” Red’s voice was calm and quiet. He reached over and took my father’s hand off my arm. “Now’s not the time.”
I rode the elevator down to the main lobby. The man at the front desk was a little wide-eyed and asked, “Is everything okay, Ms. Grey?” indicating my Beretta still in my hand with a nod of his head.
“Oh,” I said and put the weapon away. “Everything’s fine. Sorry.”
Chapter Thirty
I HOPPED INTO A CAB and made the driver drive around aimlessly for about ten minutes while I thought. Finally, I had him drop me off near my hidden apartment. I wasn’t wearing my hoodie so I hoped no one was watching as I entered my building.
When I was inside my apartment, I stashed my weapons and packed a bag before I booked a flight. Too much of what Alan was ranting about had felt normal. I needed to get out of here. I needed to be away from the men I didn’t want to hurt. I needed to put myself where I belonged.
About three hours into my flight Alan’s phone rang in my pocket, waking me. I pulled it out and shut it off. I knew it was Posner and I hadn’t prepared a lie believable enough to present it to him over his son’s phone.
I slept through most of the flight and stepped off the plane into an air-conditioned airport, but when I walked outside, I was met with that familiar thick, perfumed air of South America. I was a fair distance from Ruiz’s drug refinery that we blew up, but the air was similar.
I hired a car to take me to Alan’s apartment he’d told us about and managed to talk my way into the highly guarded apartment building. They knew Alan well and didn’t find it strange that another woman had come calling.
His apartment was on the eighth floor. Once I picked the lock, I entered as quietly as I could and began a quick search. It was a two-story suite, much larger than my apartment back at White and Associates and very well decorated with brightly colored furniture and various decorative items like crystal bowls and useless, small sculptures sitting alone on their very own shelves.
The first floor held a small balcony that looked over the street below directly off the living area. There was also a small office like area on the edge of the living area with a computer sitting on a corner desk. The kitchen and a large bedroom and private bathroom were also on the first floor.
I climbed the stairs to the second floor to find two more large bedrooms. Each had their own private bathrooms. There was also a nice sized terrace complete with a pool with a water fountain, a barbecue grill, fully stocked bar, and table and chairs. The view was breathtaking. I could see the city sprawling all around me, surrounded by the mountains, beaches, and water.
How could a man with Alan’s problems live in a place like this? I’d expected a small, squalid apartment. I pictured a torn up couch that folded out into a bed. Dust on everything and a general wretched feeling, but this was almost the opposite.
“You like it?” Posner’s voice came up behind me.
I twisted around and he grinned.
“Where’s Alan?” he asked.
“He’s not coming,” I said.
If I’d have had a weapon, I would have ended it right now, but I knew Posner’s power and wasn’t convinced I could take him in a fight. I had to get some maneuvering room before I went on the offensive.
“After you left, Alan told me to come here if anything went wrong. Then he attacked me. He tried to kill me.”
“Did you kill him?” Posner asked.
“No. The colors showed up and broke up the fight. I got away while they fought with Alan. I don’t know where Alan is,” I lied.
Posner swore and knocked me to the ground with a massive backhand.
I stayed down and watched for further advancement, but he walked back into the apartment. I got up and followed him. He went to one of the bedrooms and started rummaging through a closet. He must not have found what he was looking for because all he accomplished was making a mess before he stomped off down the stairs.
I followed him down the stairs to the bedroom on the first floor. He did the same thing but came up holding a pistol. He pointed it at me and ordered me out into the living area. Then ordered me to sit at the table.
As soon as I sat down he stopped aiming the weapon at me and started pacing.
“Tell me exactly what happened,” he ordered.
“As soon as you left, Alan told me you couldn’t protect me anymore and said he wanted to see what I was
made of. He wanted to do some sparring outside. I agreed but he wasn’t sparring, he was trying to kill me,” I said.
“Ms. Grey, you are now a part of the real world.”
He held the weapon up and shook it at me.
“You never fight with someone without being willing to kill them. You should know that by now.”
“Not when we’re supposed to be on the same side,” I said.
“That’s where you’re wrong. You want your partner to push you to your limits because when he breaks those limits, you’ll live to learn from your mistakes. I had to teach Alan that and now he’s going to teach you. But that’s not what I wanted to hear about. I want to know how the colors got past you to Alan. That should be an interesting story. Make it a good one.”
“I’d dislocated both of Alan’s arms when they rushed us,” I said.
Posner held up the weapon again, but this time used it as he’d use a finger at his lips to shush me.
“You dislocated both of his arms? Did you learn your lesson already?”
“Yes. I was going to kill him,” I said.
“Good girl. You’d never win against Alan, but I’m proud of you for trying. Continue,” he said.
“Alan was on the ground when the colors came up on us. It was dark and we didn’t notice them in time. They didn’t give Alan the chance to move before they swarmed over him. I knew I couldn’t take them all with my pistols so I slipped away while they were trying to subdue Alan. I don’t know what happened after that because I came here.”
“How did they find the cabin?” Posner demanded of me.
“I’m not sure. When I worked with them, we did a job where we traded out a prisoner for one of our guys. We talked about installing a chip under the skin so we could track the prisoner. We had no intentions of making a clean trade and wanted to be able to recover our prisoner. We didn’t do it, but maybe they did that to Alan.”
Posner paced around me for several minutes. I was working through all the different ways I could take his weapon away from him, but nothing came to me that didn’t involve me getting physically involved with Posner. The smack he’d given me out on the terrace had me still slightly dazed and I didn’t trust I could win the fight.
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