by Lila Younger
“Want to try?” I ask.
“I’m okay for now,” she says. “So what are you doing these days? It’s been a while.”
“It has. Well, first off, I don’t have as much time to take photographs as I used to. After your dad put me in touch with a gallery things sort of exploded for me. I shot up high there for a little bit, and decided to invest the money into development. The art world moves quickly. One second you’re in the spotlight, the next someone’s hanging dead cows on the ceiling and calling it art. I figured that I should use the good fortune I had and put it into something that’ll have bigger rewards. I haven’t given up though. I was actually thinking about doing some more once this latest project wraps up.”
I pause and eat a fry. Keith really is the reason behind all of my successes. When we were in high school, he was one of the first people I showed my attempts at photography to. He thought I had something there. Once I got out into the world, he was the one who make the connection for me with the gallery. Who knows if I would have achieved the same level of success if it hadn’t been for him? I could very well be a nobody, someone who takes pictures as a hobby while working a nine to five in a cubicle. Was I really ready to throw that friendship away all because of some physical attraction to his daughter? I slowly withdraw my hand from the table where I’ve put it. I can’t do that to him. I know that I can’t.
“So are all the pictures in the house yours?” Hailey says after a minute of silence.
“Yes. Most of them anyways. They’re the ones I’m really proud of capturing, especially the one you saw in the study, and the one in the formal dining room. Not that I really have a use for that room. My decorator insisted though. Said that it would come in handy someday. I usually just end up eating at the kitchen island or on my recliner.”
“Maybe now that I’m here we will,” she says.
I shrug noncommittally. “Maybe.”
I want to say yes, but I remember that I’m supposed to be putting some distance between us. I’ve been doing the complete opposite at this dinner, because that’s how I normally act around a beautiful woman I like. But I can’t. I don’t know how long I can keep this up though, especially when I’m around her. It’s like she sucks all the oxygen out of the room, leaving my brain unable to think clearly. At least dinner is over. I want to challenge her to a few games of pool and drinks, but that’s too much of a temptation at this point. I’ll enjoy the ride home and then that’s it. Tomorrow, I will avoid Hailey, and avoid fucking everything up.
When I look at her though, I feel a twinge of something else in my heart that tells me I’m in trouble. Big trouble.
Chapter 4
Hailey
The evening had started out so promising, but as Mark drove us home, I can’t help but feel perplexed more than anything. The whole time at dinner I got mixed signals from him. One second he seemed totally interested, the next, he’d bring up my dad and shut the mood down. Then his warm brown eyes would dance over me, and I’d get all giddy and breathless again. My head’s still spinning from it all. I wonder if he’s toying with me. The thought hurts me hard, and desperately hope not. I don’t know if I could live here with him otherwise, and I really don’t have another place to go.
My usual routine is to look down at my food whenever Mark is around my family, but tonight there’s nobody else but me to talk to, and I find that I can’t stop drinking in his features. They’re seriously heartstopping, and as I listen, I find myself wanting this more and more. I thought he did too with those intense looks he was giving me, but then, nothing happened. No flirty words, no touches (aside from the one that was cut short), nothing. I didn’t know where that left us, if there was even anything to leave. I mean, was that even a date? Or was it just him being nice? Maybe what I thought was interest was just him being nice to his best friend’s kid.
At least I have this ride home with him. Who knows when this’ll happen again? Mark takes a turn and I take the chance to hold onto him a little tighter. Maybe it’s all for the best, I think moodily. I mean, Mark has probably had loads of women. He’s rich and he’s a famous photographer. Models probably throw themselves at him all the time. There’s no way he’d want an inexperienced girl like you.
Because that’s what I was. An honest to God virgin. There aren’t too many of those by the end of college, but I’d proven to be the exception to the rule.
If I was honest, I’d say that I harbored this secret little fantasy where he would be my first. To everyone else, even Jen and Lexie, I just let them think I’d had sex already, but haven’t found another guy I want to be with. I mean, it’s not like I’ve been spending my life in my room pining after the guy. I was reasonable enough to know that there’s more than one man out there for me. It’s just I never met anyone who could get my lust fired up like he does with just one grin. Even when I was a teenager, Mark spoke to me like an equal, with actual opinions worth listening to. And he was smart, experienced, confident, but didn’t feel the need to prove it either. I’ve lost count of how many times a guy would brag to me, putting down everyone else around him, as if that made him look better.
Being pre-med made things a little easier too. There was always more work to do, more things to cram for, that relationships sort of fall apart most of the time. Even Lexie would go through boyfriends quickly, each one complaining that she never had time for them. So when I said that I was too busy for a guy, everyone understood.
Yes, there was that little tiny part of me that sort of hoped he would be my first. Is that silly? Probably. But maybe that’s why I’m as disappointed as I am tonight.
The ride home feels shorter than the one to The Three Crowns, and before I know it, we’re turning into the quiet neighborhood and up the driveway. Lights are on in the house, automatic I’m guessing, giving it a warm and cozy feel. I wonder how it must feel to come home to this all by himself at night, and if he’s ever lonely. I know that I would be if it was just me.
Mark buzzes open the garage and walks the motorcycle in the last few feet. I pull myself apart from him, difficult as it is, and scramble off of the bike. Whatever this night was, it’s over now, and tomorrow is a long day for me. I’m going to have to sleep early, especially since I have to catch the bus, and it’s never reliable. It’s definitely a good thing that I didn’t have my wallet with me and couldn’t drink. I might have been tempted to try something foolish like seduce Mark or something (and it would go as terribly as it sounds seeing as I’ve never seduced anybody in my life), and then it really will be impossible to live here with him.
“Thanks for dinner,” I say, in my cheeriest voice. “It was really good. I’ve got to head to bed though. I’ve got school at eight a.m. tomorrow.”
There. That was pretty good. I don’t sound bothered at all by his hot and cold behavior at dinner. And really, if he’s not interested, I’d get over it. I mean, a crush is a crush. I’ve liked the man, but until today, I’ve never really gotten the chance to truly know him. How hurt can I really be? Maybe more than anything I’m just feeling the sting of rejection. But people get rejected every day and move on just fine, and so should I.
“You know, I have a car. I’d be happy to take you to school. It’s pretty far,” he says. It’s dim in the garage, and even though he sounds sincere, I’m not sure. He could just be polite.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got to figure out how to get there, and I can’t ask you to take me to school every day. Might as well get used to it.”
I waited, but it seemed like he was having trouble figuring out what to say. Suddenly I felt very, very tired. I didn’t need to hear this. I started to move toward the door again and he holds up a hand to stop me.
“Hailey. Look. Tonight was really nice,” he says. “I’ve never met anyone quite like you. You’re great company. You’re real and straightforward and I had a great time tonight.”
“I did too,” I say, more hopeful than I should have.
“But you have to unde
rstand. Your father and I... I owe him so much. Almost everything if you can believe it. I don’t think he’d be too keen if I told him ‘hey, I think your daughter’s fantastic. I don’t think I can sleep tonight because I’m too busy fantasizing about taking her clothes off. That okay with you?’”
His words shock me. This was what I’ve wanted to hear, but his mention of my father just complicates everything too. My head is spinning. I think I need to sit down. I move towards the door again. Mark starts to say something behind me, but suddenly I’m flying through the air. The door has a step to it that I didn’t see until I trip on it.
Mark must have been trying to warn me about it, because he’s right there behind me, grabbing onto my wrist and pulling me backwards, so that the whole length of my body comes flush against him. His other hand reaches out automatically to wrap around my waist and hold me close, making the hairs rise up on the back of my neck. My eyes widen, fear still coursing through my veins, or is it something else? We’re inches apart, and I’m looking up into those eyes that are burning with desire. There was no mistaking it this time. I try to get my thoughts under control, but it’s pointless because in the next second, he kisses me, hard and fast, and I feel like I’ve been shocked.
The kiss is electric, making my heart beat so hard it hurts. Every bit of me feels charged with energy, desperate to be touched. His lips are soft, but the stubble around his mouth is just the right amount of roughness, and he squeezes onto me hard as though I’d blow away from him if he let go. I have hardly any time to get used to it before it ends and we come apart. Mark looks as dazed as I feel.
“You okay?” he asks me, his voice low and husky. It sends a jolt of desire straight between my legs. He gives me a look as though he’s going to devour me completely.
I nod weakly. This isn’t real. It can’t be. Mark didn’t just kiss me. Everything happened so fast that I’m afraid of doing something wrong and breaking the spell. But it doesn’t break at all, because in the next instant he bends down and lifts me up, tucking me against his body. My arms go around his neck instinctively, and he carries me inside of the house. Mark moves fast, and he’s wicked strong, taking the stairs almost two at a time, turning left at the landing and using his back to nudge open the French doors to his master bedroom. We fall down together onto the bed, his arms on either side of my head as he dips down to take my mouth again.
The kiss is slower this time, sweet and rough and thorough, and when his tongue pushes up against my lower lip, I’m happy to part them for him. He explores my mouth, twining his tongue with mine. His lips are soft, I’m discovering, and his tongue, so hot! My hands reach up to caress his neck, flutter across his shoulders, and back up to his face. I’ve kissed before, but this time I’m nervous. This time it counts for something. He slowly breaks the kiss and pulls back. I look up at him nervously.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, my voice a little strangled.
“Nothing. I just want to remember you like this. Absolutely perfect.”
Mark shrugs off his leather jacket, and I can see just how well he fills out his t-shirt. And then he yanks that off too, his hand tugging at his collar and throwing off the shirt in one smooth motion. I swallow hard. The sight of him half naked in front of me has me quivering and slick already. I want to run my hands all over his perfect body, to learn and touch his pectorals, each one of his abs, down to... well. I just might get to. My body stiffens immediately at the thought. Panic sets in. What if he doesn’t want to deal with a virgin? My eyes snap back up to his, and my worry of course shows on my face, because he hesitates and frowns.
“Hailey, is everything okay? We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”
“No! I mean, I do, I just.” I bite down on my lip. There really was no good way to say it, was there?
Mark strokes my face gently, pushing away a strand of hair. The care in his touch hits me full force, and I know that I want Mark to take me more than anything. I just don’t know how to get to that point. I’ve never done any of this before.
“What is it?” Mark’s eyes are warm and concerned, and I wish I hadn’t said anything. I wish we could just go back to kissing and touching each other.
“Nothing. Let’s just go back to, back to what we were doing,” I say lamely.
But he shakes his head.
“Not until you tell me. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t. There are no secrets between us, not if we’re going to do this.”
Despite my worries, his words make me smile a little. He’s even better than I thought.
“I’m just.” I start to say. I want to lie, to make something up, but I can’t do that to Mark. “I’m a... virgin.”
I expect him to laugh. Or maybe his face will fill up with disbelief. Or he’ll recoil in disgust. Something like that. But what happens next catches me completely off guard. He doesn’t do anything for a few moments, his eyes downcast, but then he looks back up into my face, and he’s wearing a soft smile.
“Hailey, I don’t care about any of that. All I care about is this: Do you want me?”
I’m trembling, but I do. I do more than anything.
“Yes,” I say timidly.
“Then that’s all that matters to me. Everything else we can figure out together, I promise.”
“You don’t, you don’t care?” I ask timidly. Hope blossoms in my chest.
“Not in the slightest. Well, that’s not true. I’m fucking happy that you’ve chosen me to be your first, and I definitely want to make this amazing now, even more than before. But that’s about it.”
“It doesn’t matter to you that I don’t know what I’m doing?”
“Hailey, you’re amazing. You’re bursting with creativity, and you’re so sexy I had to get you out of the house to avoid fucking you on my table this afternoon. So far, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman. As long as you want this it doesn’t matter one bit to me that you’re new to it all. So. Do you want this? Because I do.” He pulls my hand onto his jeans, and I can feel how hard and warm his cock is.
“Oh,” I say faintly, turning red as a tomato. He wants me all right.
“Tell me what you want Hailey.”
“I, I want this too,” I say softly.
Chapter 5
Hailey
Mark gives me the biggest grin, as if I told him he’d won the lottery, and comes down and kisses me again, a deep, full kiss that reassures and confirms to me that this is definitely the right choice. Desire travels across my body as I respond to him, pulling his hard body against my softer one. His lips brush against my jaw, nuzzling my ear before dropping down to the hollow of my neck and nibbling it. A shiver goes down my spine, followed by a fiery desire. I’m soaking through my underwear already, and he’s barely even started. I’ve never had a guy make me feel so wanted, so hot with just his mouth. My breath comes in shallow and fast, and I’m moaning as he kisses and nips me again and again.
“God you smell good,” he groans.
Forget about my fantasies. This is a million times better. This is really, truly happening. This makes it worth missing out on everything else and waiting. I let that thought sink in, enjoying it and finally relaxing into the bed and letting him take me away. Every little thing he does sets me on fire. His hand reaches down to the hem of my shirt, and he pulls it off of me, lifting his lips from my skin for only a second. My bra unhooks just as quickly, and then there he is, his hot mouth covering over my pink nipples, sucking and tugging on them and making me gasp with the sensation. A flush of heat spreads through my body, pooling in my stomach. My trembling hands reach to thread through his hair tentatively, then again as he tugs the nipple with his mouth.
“Oh! Do that again,” I blurt out, my shyness forgotten. “That feels really good.”
He chuckles, his lips curving up against my breast.
“That’s it Hailey. You just keep telling me what you like.”
His switches to my other breast, his tongue swirling
around my areola before sucking hard on the nipple, sending pleasure down my body. My nipples peak, aching to be touched. With his hand, he reaches up to the other peak and rolls it between his fingers at the same time. Desire fans through me, making my toes curl with pleasure. He does it again, harder this time, and I almost arch my back, bliss crackling through my body. I have never experienced these kinds of sensations before and I can barely think it feels so unbelievably good.
“That!” I say with a gasp. “I liked that.”
Mark switches again, his teeth grazing over my sensitive pink tip, sending throbbing pulses down to between my legs. I whimper a little, wanting more, of what I don’t know. But Mark does. His hand slides down to the button of my jeans, undoing it so that his large fingers could slip in and press against my soaked cotton panties. He rubs them up and down against my lips, pressing hard against my clit. The pressure feels good, better than anything I could do myself, but it’s still not enough. My hands snag onto his shoulders, squeezing them tight as I rock my hips against him, trying to hurry him. I’m aching for his fingers to be in me, and then there they are, pushing aside the material and sliding deep inside my slick channel.
“Oh Mark,” I breathe with release.
His fingers hook inside of me, pressing up against a spot I didn’t even know existed. My head is dizzy with lust, my body gushing even more as he slides three fingers in and out of me. I look up at the ceiling, not seeing anything, but feeling, feeling the way Mark is playing my body so expertly. It’s my deepest fantasy come to life as he takes my breast into his mouth and bites down harder, pleasure and pain pulsing together inside of me. Need builds up inside of me, more and more, and I can’t stop moaning Mark’s name. His thumb circles my clit, rubbing the sensitive nub and sending rapid bursts of sensations through me. I rock harder against his hand, desperate to come.
Mark lifts his head up and grins.
“More you say?”