by Lila Younger
“Yes,” I breathe. “Oh Mark.”
My eyes flutter as he pulls out and thrusts again, strong and masculine and possessive. His strokes are calm and measured, each one sliding into me and claiming me again and again.
“You feel so tight,” he murmurs against my ear, leaving light butterfly kisses against me.
Time seems to slow down, stretching out as he leaves me and fills me up all over again. But even Mark can’t last forever. He wants this, just as much as I do, from the way he grits his teeth and groans each time he pushes just a little deeper inside of me. His hands move from the table to my hips, holding me steady as I arch my back and fall onto the table. I love the way he surges forward into me, the way our bodies are drawn together as if by magnetic force.
I hold onto him, completely lost in the pleasure of him making love to me. I don’t think, just feel, but it’s enough. My body is trembling each time we connect, the sensation of being filled up to the brim overloading my body. Every thrust builds up that fire inside of me so that I have to dig my nails into him, hold him close as the pleasure hits a fever pitch and then he moves just a little, and that’s the spark I need as everything inside me ignites and I explode into my orgasm. I think my whole body is melting from the heat, because I can’t move. My whole body quivers uncontrollably, swept up in the strongest feeling I’ve ever had with Mark. My vision is gone in searing white light, my voice lost come again and again. I’m holding onto him desperately, my pussy clenched tight around him as he pistons into me quick and hard, setting off more fireworks in me until I’m completely blissed out.
“Intense,” I start to say and stop. The light is receding, and I’m slowly coming back to where my body lies on the kitchen table, but it still takes a few more seconds before I can say anything more. “That was really, really intense.”
“Intense good or intense bad?” Mark says. He’s still inside of me, but he pulls me up by the hand and pulls me against him.
“Intense good,” I say.
I can still feel him inside of me, still feel the connection between us. I wonder if this is how sex always is, but it can’t be, because the love we share together adds another complexity, another layer to sex that makes it out of this world. I don’t regret waiting one bit, because Mark has been worth it. Finally, he has to pull himself out, but I still feel that closeness like an aura in the air surrounding us.
“If we can’t have champagne, we can at least have some ice cream to celebrate,” he says.
“Are you going to just walk around naked?” I ask him amused as he goes over to the fridge and opens up the freezer door.
“Why not? It’s our house. We can do whatever we want to.”
I’m just about to hop off the table and grab the bowls when the doorbell rings. We freeze and look at each other.
“Are you expecting someone?” I ask.
“Oh shit,” Mark mutters.
“What is it?”
There’s a look of panic on his face, and then he’s back beside me, pulling on all of his clothes. I’m a bit freaked by the urgency, and I know I should put my clothes back on too, but I need to know what’s going on first. And then I hear it.
“Mark? You there?” a very familiar voice shouts through the door.
“Mark! Is that my dad?”
He stops and looks at me.
“I’m sorry Hailey. I completely forgot to tell you that your parents are visiting.”
Chapter 10
Hailey
His words kill the rosy afterglow of the sex we just had instantly. I jump off the table and scramble for my clothes. Why is everything upside down and inside out? Why can’t I hook up my bra? The doorbell rings again and Mark calls out that he’s coming. He’s way more put together than I am, but there’s no mistaking the rumpled look of my hair. I mouth for him to keep my parents at the door as long as possible, then tug on my jeans.
This is the worst situation for my parents to find me in. As far as they know, I’m pure, pure as the driven snow. My dad probably still thinks I haven’t been kissed. How the hell could I possibly tell him about Mark? Dad would sock him in the jaw for taking my virtue. Okay okay Hailey, you have to focus right now. Cover your tracks first, explanations later. We haven’t created too much of a mess luckily, so I run my fingers through my hair and grab my books from my backpack on the chair. My books are in place just as my parents come through the doorway. So much for delaying them.
“Mom, dad!” I say breathlessly. “What are you doing here?”
“Mark didn’t tell you? We’re here to help you find your own apartment.” My mom comes forward for a hug. I hope to God she doesn’t notice anything awry. My mom is super observant, and nobody’s ever gotten anything past her. I pull away as soon as I can, aware that I might smell a little like Mark does.
“That’s right. We figure you’d be sick and tired of taking the bus all the time,” my dad adds.
“Oh, it’s not so bad here,” I say quickly. Especially since I get to see Mark naked whenever I want now. “The bus is pretty reliable actually.”
I notice that my mom and dad have their luggage with them.
“Are you guys staying the night?”
My eyes jump to Mark, who’s got an apologetic smile on his face. It’s just my luck that he forgets to tell me all this so we can come up with a plan, and lands us into this mess. I’m so uncomfortable right now, and I’m scared that it’s showing. The presence of my parents makes me so aware that we’ve been in a bubble so far, protected and safe from scrutiny inside this house. I have to tell them the truth now, about everything, when I thought I’d have more time to prepare. My face is already heating up, and the more I panic the redder it feels.
“Well of course,” dad says. “Why wouldn’t we stay with Mark?”
I plaster a smile on my face, but it’s no use. I’m definitely panicking. Mark sees the look on my face and comes forward to offer drinks, My dad asks for water but my mom declines. I can see the way her eyes dart back and forth between us, and I know the gig is up. A second later, my fears are confirmed.
“What is going on between you two,” she demands.
Mark freezes with the glass in his hands and looks at me. I’m staring right back at him, willing him to say something, but evidently, lying is neither of our strong suits. My mom catches the look.
“I can’t believe it. You two are sleeping together!”
Her voice is shrill and accusatory. My dad, bless his soul, is completely bewildered. It takes a minute for him to catch up, and he looks in confusion at his best friend.
“I can explain,” I plead.
“It’s not Hailey’s fault,” Mark says.
There’s a jumble of words as we all start to speak, me begging my parents to listen, my dad shouting at Mark about taking advantage of his daughter as he shouts back.
“STOP IT!” I cry out finally, throwing my hands over my ears. “STOP!”
Everyone pauses and looks at me. I don’t think I’ve ever yelled at my parents before, but I’m doing a lot of things I’ve never done before.
“You guys,” I say evenly once I’m sure that I’m going to be heard. “I know it’s hard to believe, but we’re happy. I’m an adult. Mark’s an adult. We both made the decision to go out together. There’s nobody taking advantage of anyone here!”
“No. I refuse to believe it,” my dad fumes. He turns towards Mark. “I trusted you! I put my daughter under your roof thinking you’d protect her! Who knew that it’d be you I’d have to worry about?”
“Dad! Please. Are you even listening? If you want to be mad, then get mad at me too, because I’m just as much to blame. You make it sound like Mark forced me to do something I didn’t want to.”
I can see the anger in his eyes with every word I’m speaking. This wasn’t how I wanted it to go at all. I had hoped, somewhat foolishly, that they’d be happy for me, and everything would work out.
“We’re leaving,” my mom says. She can’t
even look at Mark anymore. “Now. Grab your things Hailey. I’ll help you pack.”
She turns around and takes a few steps, but I don’t follow. I’ve done my best all my life to listen to my parents and be a model daughter, but I’m realizing now that handing my life over isn’t going to make me happy. That’s not how things are supposed to be. Mark might not be family, but he has given me more support than my parents ever have. He’s allowed me to be myself, and loved me for it. Instead of going with her, I walk towards Mark. She realizes I’m not coming at the kitchen doorway, and turns back towards me.
“What are you doing Hailey?” she demands.
I reach out and take Mark’s hand. He squeezes it hard, letting me know he’s behind me all the way. I take that strength and say the words I’ve been terrified to say to my parents all my life.
“I’m not going with you. I’m not going to be a doctor either. I’m staying right here, and I’m going to art school.”
My mom’s mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water. Her face gets purple with anger, and I’m almost positive she’s going to pop a blood vessel. I expect an explosion like my father, but all of a sudden everything dies away, and she turns around without another word and walks out. My dad looks at me.
“You don’t want things to end this way Hailey,” he warns me. “Come on. You can still apologize to your mother.”
But I don’t want to. I want to stay here with Mark, I want to have my baby, and I want to become a landscape artist. In these last few weeks Mark has shown me a life that’s brighter and better than the one I had, and I didn’t want to go back. I just hope that one day my parents can understand.
“I can’t come with you dad,” I say sadly. “I’m happy here. I won’t be if I go.”
I’m not sure he understands as he grabs their suitcases and go. I’m not even totally sure I made the right decision. A little part of me thinks that maybe I should run after them, try to explain and hope they tell me that they understand. But that’s just silly. Once the door slams, Mark folds me into his arms, holding me as tight as he can. He’s the only thing keeping me together tonight, but I know that he won’t leave.
“Now,” he says, gently kissing my hair. “Do you still want that ice cream? Because even if your parents don’t think so, we’ve just gotten some very good news worth celebrating.”
Epilogue
Hailey
A year and a half later...
“Wow,” I say as I peer through the tinted glass of the limo. “There’s a lot of people here.”
“Of course,” Mark says. “It’s been a while since my latest showing. People are excited. Plus, they’ve all heard about you. You’re a breath of fresh air, if I may quote the Arts and Life section of the city newspaper.”
I look over at him to see if he’s just saying that. He’s dressed in a smart charcoal suit with a maroon tie, all sharp tailoring and sleek lines. There’s a streak of gray now near his temple, but other than that, it’s like sleep deprivation hasn’t even touched him one bit. He looks as good as the day I met him. My heart still goes pitter patter when I look at him, falling in love all over again. I grab his hand and give it a squeeze. I’m feeling self-conscious in my A-line cocktail dress, but Mark assures me that as the mother of his baby, I’ve become lovelier than ever.
Pulling out my phone, I check to see if my mom has messaged me with an update on Oliver. He should be asleep, but he’s teething, so sometimes the nights are a bit dicey. There’s nothing there, but I send her a quick text anyways.
It’s funny how a grandchild can really pull a family together. After we had a falling out, my parents and I didn’t speak for almost three months. There were a few times when I wondered if I’d done the right thing. If maybe I should have chased after them. But I knew that things wouldn’t change. I was determined to go to art school after giving pre-med a try like they wanted me to, and Mark and I were stronger than ever. I didn’t want to let go of either of those things, so I just hoped and waited it out. After the first twelve weeks, when we were sure that the baby was healthy and not going anywhere, I finally told them. I said that I wanted them to be in the baby’s life, and I hoped that they would be happy for me.
Surprisingly, my dad was the first to agree, after making sure that Mark understood he could never break my heart on pain of death. My mother was still hung up on the fact that her daughter wouldn’t go into medicine. I wanted to shake her and ask her to reconsider her priorities, but after a lifetime of denying how I felt about art, I didn’t expect very much. It wasn’t until she’d seen the ultrasound picture of Oliver that she softened up, and it wasn’t until I was officially going to Westchester that she came to believe I meant what I said.
And when Oliver was born... well who can resist that roly poly little boy?
I get a text from my mom, showing me the baby monitor that shows Oliver sleeping soundly, arms and legs out like a starfish. ‘All good’ she texts me. ‘Have fun tonight.’
Mark peers over my shoulder and turns to me with a soft smile. That was one of the most amazing things about him. Sometimes I think he enjoys being a dad even more than I do being a mom. He does all of Oliver’s diapers, and gets all excited talking about all the things he’ll do with his son once he’s older. He’s even got a Polaroid camera that Oliver can take pictures with once he’s a little older. It’s adorable, and it makes me love him even more if that’s possible.
“He’s a cute little guy, isn’t he?” he says.
“The very best,” I agree.
We share a quick kiss, and I open up the door of the limo. It wouldn’t do to be late for our own gallery showing. It’s the first time since Oliver’s been born that we’ve been out for the night, and I for one am going to enjoy it. We go through the doors, and Mark takes me over to the gallery owner right away to say hello. More people come up, and the night passes in a blur of introductions to various people in the art world. I catch sight of Jen and Lexie, and we are able to catch up a bit, but it’s so busy that I lose sight of them for the rest of the night. The champagne keeps flowing, and I see red dots go up beside a lot of Mark’s works, and even a few of my own.
All in all, it turns out amazing, and by the end of the night, I’m tipsy and happy. What a glamorous night! I feel fizzy, and not just because of the champagne. People are appreciating my work! That’s almost unheard of for an art student. And it wasn’t even Mark that had gotten the gallery interested. My daily drawings on Instagram, which had started out as practice, turned into a way to showcase my work and get noticed. People started asking me to sell them prints, and it just grew from there. I knew that there was some luck in it- after all, it’s social media, so who knows why some things go viral and some things don’t- but it really did banish the last of my doubt in my abilities. Tonight was just the icing on the cake.
Who knows? My mom might even finally forgive me for not becoming a doctor.
Once the gallery is down to just a few people, Mark takes my hand and guides me over towards the back of the gallery. His series of photographs were of places like mine, but they were special because they were all the places that had significance to us. They were all different; some zoomed up close, some aerial (he had to buy a drone, which nobody else had done yet), some with different camera effects. But the one he took me to wasn’t familiar to me at all. I looked closer. On second thought, it sort of looked like the gallery.
“What’s this?” I ask. “Is this yours?”
“My last piece,” he agrees. “I asked that they keep it here until tonight.”
“What happens tonight?”
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little black box. I feel like I should know what’s going on, but a bit of me is still confused, until suddenly it clicks. Mark gets down onto one knee and opens up the box, revealing a beautiful diamond ring.
“Hailey, will you marry me and make me the happiest man in the world?” he asks solemnly.
I feel a rush of tears, but I don
’t want him to think I’m upset, so I nod furiously. My heart is tumbling with joy, and somehow this perfect night just got even better. Mark pulls out the ring and gently slips it onto my finger. It shines like a promise on my hand, and I throw my arms around his neck as he stands and gives me a twirl. My lips find his, locking together for what feels like minutes.
“I love you so much Mark,” I say softly.
“And I love you more,” he replies.
“You know, you’ll have to get another picture for your series,” I say. “Because now you’ll need a wedding shot.”
*****
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Enjoy the first chapter of my book Boss of Me!
I wish for the third time tonight that I could say no to Steph. But I can’t. I haven’t been able to since I met her in Kindergarten and she declared that we were going to be best friends. Her strawberry blonde hair was tied up into pigtails, and she was wearing a pair of purple corduroy overalls with a tutu over top. I was dressed in a boring baby blue t-shirt and denim skirt that my mom made me wear. Even then I felt boring and plain next to her. But Steph saw something in me: an accomplice. I willingly allowed Steph to decide what we’d do during recess, and that was that. Through the years there were more than a few times when Steph got me in trouble with her, but I had to admit that my life would be a lot more boring without her.