by KB Winters
“Holly?”
I turned at the sound of my name and found Nick, Carly’s fiancé, standing at a work bench, wiping his hands off on a grease rag. He looked puzzled to see me, which made sense. I hadn’t set foot on the property since Jack and I had broken up. Not even to visit my friend Gemma. It was all too painful. Not today. Today I drank in the pain and shards of memories and used it to fuel my impending wrath.
“Hi Nick. Where’s Jack?”
Nick looked away quickly and I wondered if he was debating whether or not he should tell me. Or maybe wondering if he could play dumb and pretend he didn’t know Jack was back in town. I followed his gaze and my stomach lurched. Nick wasn’t trying to avoid my question—he answered it. Jack sauntered into the shop from the second set of hangar doors that led to the air strip.
And he wasn’t alone.
The busty bitch with long, chestnut curls and a fuck me smile was hanging on his arm. Anger and rage twisted together in the center of my gut, then suddenly drained away and all I wanted to do was throw up. Jack was smiling at the home-wrecker—whoever she was—and laughing at something she’d said. She grinned and then lightly slapped the arm she was clinging to with her opposite hand, like he’d told a dirty joke.
Tears blurred the edges of my eyes as a lump settled in my throat.
Nick coughed into his fist and Jack looked up. Time moved slowly as his eyes—those eyes I knew so well—shifted from Nick over to me. His steps slowed and he stopped a few yards away from me. The brunette’s smile faltered as she noticed the change of his expression and pace. She stopped too, but made no move to untangle her arm from Jack’s.
Jack’s eyes settled on mine and just like that, all the anger and bile swelled back to the breaking point. “How dare you!” I growled.
“Holly—”
I closed the distance between us, stopping a foot away. I wanted him to feel my rage pouring off of me. I cut a sharp glare at the woman at his side but she didn’t move—or even flinch. I snapped my gaze back to Jack. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Is this some kind of sick, teenage trick to get back at me? You thought you’d roll back into town and see if you could get my attention. Is that it? This is all some kind of pathetic attempt to manipulate me back into your arms?”
Jack pulled his arm from the brunette and cast a sidelong glance at her. She frowned as she looked from him to me and then back again. “I’ll catch up with you, okay?”
She nodded but gave me one more cutting look as she walked across the shop and into the museum offices.
When the doors swung shut behind her, Nick cleared his throat. “Guys, listen, I’m friends with both of you. I don’t think either of you wants to say something you’ll regret here. Maybe this isn’t a good time for a conversation?”
Jack spoke first, keeping his eyes on me the entire time, “It’s all right, Nick. I think there’s just been a misunderstanding here.”
I hated how even-keeled his voice was. Like I was some gum stuck on the bottom of his shoe or something. A minor annoyance. Where was this version of him a few months ago when everything was falling apart? I’d needed calm, cool, collected Jack but got floundering, wishy-washy Jack instead.
It didn’t matter now. He’d made his choices and I’d made mine. But I’d be damned if I was going to sit back and watch him flaunt his newfound “freedom” all over town and right under my nose. He’d chosen New York, Europe, traveling the world. That’s what he wanted. And I wasn’t going to leave that hangar until he was ready to leave again.
Nick sighed but he walked away, his steps echoing through the empty shop until we were left alone. Jack folded his arms and leveled me with a strong, cold stare. “I have no idea what kind of stunt you’re pulling here, Holly, but I gotta say, this is a little uncalled for.”
“Really? Well, excuse me if I don’t hold you up as the standard on what’s appropriate after what I’ve been told.”
“And what exactly is that?”
“That you’ve been bar-hopping with some bitch—yeah, I called that tramp a bitch. Seriously Jack? Drunk? and then you fuckin’ lie to me and tell me it’s only for a few days—”
“It is,” he interjected.
“Oh, so this—this pilot chick is just a booty call? Going back to your navy days? A good fuck in every port? Is that what you want?”
Jack narrowed his eyes at me. It was a low blow. I knew full well that Jack had never been that guy. If anything, he was the opposite.
“I don’t care if you wanna fuck around, Jack,”—I drew in a deep breath, the lie stinging deeply— “but at least have the decency to do it somewhere else. Somewhere where no one knows about you and me. And preferably not right under my damn nose!”
“I’m not screwing her,” he countered, his tone gruff and gravely. “But you’re right, it’s none of your business, even if I was. I went over to the house—your house,” he corrected, “to tell you I was going to be hanging out for a few more days. Why would I have done that if I just wanted to sneak around with someone? It doesn’t make sense, Holly.”
“Like I said, maybe you’re using her to make me jealous!”
Jack threw his hands up. “You’re fuckin’ unbelievable. I try to do the right thing, I get told it’s not good enough. I don’t have the answers you want, so we break things off. Apparently, that’s still not good enough for you. I’m still fucking things up. What do you want from me, Holly?”
“Who is she? If you’re not with her, then who is she? Why are the two of you sudden drinking buddies?”
“She works here. Aaron hired her on as a pilot to take over the flights I used to run. I only met her a couple of days ago. The day after I came to see you. This isn’t a game. I’m not trying to make you mad or upset. I’m moving on, Holly. That’s what you wanted me to do.”
“Don’t put this back on me!” I stormed away from him and paced a few feet. I whipped back around and pointed a finger at him. “You wanted the adventure. You were the one who changed the game, not me!”
“You’re the one who put a clock on it, Holly. These past few months, I can finally breathe. I don’t have you hanging over my head, telling me to get my shit together and come up with all the answers. I can finally take the time to slow down and figure out what I want.”
“Oh yeah? And that is what you came up with? Big tits or whatever the fuck it is everyone calls her. I mean, get real, Jack. She’s what, twenty-two? Three?” I shook my head.
“I don’t know and it doesn’t really matter. Like I said, I’m not with her.”
I cocked my head. “Really? You looked like you’re with her from where I’m standing.”
“You’re not going to believe a word I say, are you?”
“Probably not. I didn’t come here to get your explanation or excuses.”
“Then why did you come here? Other than to humiliate me in front of my friends?”
“Humiliate you?”
“Yes!” Jack snapped. “For months, you ran around town, complaining to anyone who’d listen that I was dragging my feet with the wedding plans and then when you were tired of bitching about that, it moved to Jack doesn’t know what he wants. You didn’t give me a goddamn minute to figure it out. We got back from Germany and you wanted to snap your fingers, click your heels, and have it all fall into place. Picture perfect. The house, your business, the wedding. Check, check, check. That’s all it was to you. A project. Something to maneuver and arrange. Life isn’t a damn spreadsheet that you can tick the boxes to!”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “You think I don’t know that?”
Jack considered me for a long moment then inclined his head. “Yes and no. I think you’ve gone through a lot and want things to line up this time because you feel like you’re behind the eight-ball. But the problem is that you can’t see when you’re being too rigid and stiff and not allowing life to happen. For people and plans to change.”
I shook my head, denying his words before they could even full
y sink in. “If I thought you were ever going to come back around and want the same things I want, I would’ve waited for you, Jack. But I can see now, more than ever, that I was chasing some stupid dream. You want to be free and fly all over the world and fuck skanky women and I don’t want that. I want a family. I want to settle down.”
We squared off, staring at one another as the words faded. A deep ache thudded through me. I still wanted him, even after all this time, after the shit storm died down, he was still Jack, the man I’d fallen in love with all those years ago. The man who was about to be the father of my first child. That thought brought tears to my eyes. I blinked rapidly to clear them away and then made a show of brushing my hair out of my face.
“It doesn’t matter,” I said suddenly. “It doesn’t matter why or how we fell apart. All that matters now is that we’re not together. You came to town and wanted things between us to be cordial. So, fine, here I am, asking you to keep it in your pants until you leave town. Fair enough?”
Jack’s eyes went dark again. “That’s all you have to say?”
“Yes. What were you expecting?”
He scoffed and shook his head. “Nothing.”
“Go back to New York. Live your big, adventurous life. That’s what’ll make you happy.” I shifted my eyes to his, holding my breath while I waited for his response.
“Happy?” He nodded. “Yeah, I’m so fucking happy. I do what I want, when I want. I’m living life on my own terms for the first time in forever and I got no complaints about it. Wouldn’t change one damn thing.”
Something broke inside of me. A fissure cracked wide open and left a gaping hole. Tears welled in my eyes and I turned away from Jack before he could see the glistening drops in my eyes. I drew in a deep breath but it morphed into a sob and lodged in my throat.
I nodded and swallowed the ball. “Good. That’s just great. Actually, that’s exactly what I needed to hear.” I stormed off for the doorway, desperate to escape before I lost the final shreds of any control I might have had.
I pivoted back once I reached the door. Jack was watching me intently, dark clouds still lingering in his eyes. I drew in a deep breath. “Then I guess it’s a good thing I’ve already decided to raise this baby on my own! Trust me, this baby will be better off without you!”
His face dropped as recognition dawned in his eyes. I committed the expression to memory—one last one—and then stormed out.
Chapter Nine
Jack
“Holly! Holly, stop!”
I bolted after her. She didn’t listen. She stalked away even faster, each stomp of her high-heeled shoes ramming through my brain like echoes after an explosion. Which, was essentially what had just taken place. An information bomb had been dropped, bam, right in the middle of my fucking life and there was no way to go back to the way things were before the ka-boom.
“For fuck’s sake! Holly—”
She held up her middle finger without looking back. “Leave me alone, Jack.”
I ground my teeth together. “You can’t come here and tell me that I’m about to be a fucking father and then storm out! That’s not how this works!”
Her SUV was parked in the front row and she hurried to round the front and yanked open the driver’s side door. She paused, one hand on the door, and I saw the tears staining her cheeks. My heart twisted at the sight of her in pieces. She might hate me but I still loved her. That much was clear. Not that I had a fucking clue how I was supposed to convince her of that fact. Especially when my mouth shot off and made things worse. Why the hell did I say I was happy? Couldn’t she see right through that?
“Holly, don’t do this,” I said, getting as close as I dared.
“I don’t have a choice, Jack.”
“Yes, you do. Let me in, let me help.”
She laughed and rolled her eyes. “I don’t need your help. Besides, you’re too busy being happy, remember? Go back to New York. Don’t worry about us. We’ll be fine.”
“Holly—”
She threw herself into the driver’s seat and slammed the door. I lunged forward but the door was locked. I slammed my fist on the window. “We need to talk about this.”
She stared up at me, her eyes wide and startled. I could only imagine what I looked like. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so damned out of control and panicked. It wasn’t my intention to scare her, but at the same time, I wanted to startle some sense into her. How could she think she was going to simply leave, drive off into the sunset, and expect me to pretend everything was fine? Status quo?
Not a chance.
“I’m leaving tomorrow,” I said, still pounding on the window. “Have breakfast with me. No screaming, no fighting. We need to talk about this!”
After a long stare, she tore her tear-filled eyes away from mine, looked down, and flipped the car into reverse. I jumped back as she pulled out of the parking space. Gravel kicked up as she peeled out of the lot and hit the unpaved road that led down the hill.
Every cell in my body fought, urging me to not give up. I’d never given up on a fight in all my years and the one in front of me was the most important one of all. I broke into a sprint and chased after her. I probably looked like a damn fool, but I didn’t care. She could hurl insults at me and tell me to fuck off, but it didn’t matter. Not anymore.
Holly hit the gas when she caught sight of me chasing after her in the rearview mirror.
The SUV lurched forward, determined to get away, but in a split second it screeched to a halt, suspended for one split-second before all hell broke loose. The scene unfolded in slow motion: Her car hit an uneven patch of gravel and began to fishtail. My eyes went wide even as my vision shrank to laser-like precision, fixed on the scene unfolding before me. Nothing else mattered. I didn’t hear anything but the sound of her tires sliding on the gravel, the muffled yell from inside the car, and then the sound of wood breaking as she careened off the road, snapping the wooden guard, and…
“Holly! Holly!” My lungs felt close to bursting with the full volume of my scream.
Her SUV fell over the side of the bluff, and then it flipped.
I sprinted for the side of the cliff. She had to be okay. The candy apple red SUV rolled once…twice…three times. The trees and brush finally slowed the momentum and the car came to a halt with a sickening crunch at the bottom. My hands shook and the world spun around me.
“Oh, God, oh God.” Blindly, my hands started patting at the back pocket of my jeans. Like I was in a daze or a dream, my body took over where I failed. My hands found the phone and dialed 911. The operator’s voice came on the line and my military training kicked in. I relayed the information as the dispatcher asked, even though my voice trembled and broke off in places.
“Is the driver breathing?”
I shook my head. “I—I’m not sure.” The drop-off was steep but I used my free hand to grab onto anything I could as I picked my way down the incline. “I’m trying to get to her.”
“Be careful, sir. Help is on the way.”
I nodded and kept going as fast as I could without slipping. When I reached the car, I hurried around to the driver’s side, trying to keep my eyes trained on Holly and not the damage to the car. Holly’s blonde hair was everywhere, scattered over the airbags. Her face was down and looking away from me. She wasn’t moving. My heart clenched and my stomach rolled over, sending a wave of nausea over me. “Holly?” I called, reaching for the door. “Holly!”
The metal was crumpled and dented from the crash and no matter how hard I pulled, I couldn’t open it. The front window was shattered, and I climbed on top of the wreck and reached in to see if I could find her pulse.
“She’s breathing,” I said more to myself than to the waiting 911 dispatcher. “She has a pulse.”
“Very good, sir. See if she can respond.”
“Holly? Baby, can you hear me?”
She didn’t move. I couldn’t see if her eyes were open from the angle of her head.
“I don’t—I don’t think so. No.”
“Okay. Stay with her. The paramedics are two minutes out.”
I kept my fingers on Holly’s pulse, needing the reassurance that she was all right. Her arm was bent at an awkward angle, broken in at least one place. Blood was splattered on the airbag and I had to assume she had cuts on her face from the broken glass or maybe she’d hit her head on the side of the car as it rolled. Thank God she’d put her seat belt on and the airbags had deployed properly.
“Holly? Baby, please wake up.”
The dispatcher said something in my ear but I couldn’t hear it over the thunderous beating of my pulse. She had to be okay. I couldn’t lose her—not like this.
“Baby, stay with me,” I begged. My voice sounded like it was far away, like it belonged to someone else. This was a scene in a movie. Surreal and confusing. This wasn’t real life. It couldn’t be.
Sirens screamed in the background and snapped me back to reality like a slap across the face.
This was real.
Holly was hurt, unconscious…pregnant.
“Holly, please wake up. Please, baby. I love you. I need you. Please, baby, wake up.” Hot tears crashed down my cheeks, breaking my resolve to stay strong. It went against everything I’d been trained to do—to keep calm, not let my emotions take over, but seeing her there, unable to help her, I lost all grip on my self-control. Sobs wracked from somewhere deep inside of me and even as I heard the sound of the paramedics above, beginning to pick their way down the steep ravine, I couldn’t get myself together.
“Holy shit,” one of the paramedics said, the words getting caught in the wind.
“Sir—” the second man said to me. “We need you to back up.”
I nodded and swiped the tears from my face. “She’s…she’s pregnant. Be careful.” I started rattling off the details to the rescue team as they sprang into action. A fire truck arrived a minute after the ambulance along with a couple of squad cars and police officers. Soon, the SUV was engulfed with rescue workers and I was pushed off to one side, helpless to do anything but watch as they got the driver’s door open and then took painstaking care to remove Holly’s limp body from the car.