by Lacy LeRoch
Dear sweet baby Jesus, it’s fantastic and a sight to behold. The word amazing doesn’t even do it justice. The gold that shimmers from the window frames is blinding. Everything is trimmed or made out of gold, from the window trims to the door frames. I think that trip in the water and the cold from being wet is making me imagine things. But whatever happened, I’d do it all again just to see this view one more time.
I tilt my head right back and stare at the sky. There are huge shapes flying high in the air, but they’re too far away for me to clearly make them out. A kaleidoscope of bright shapes and colors, litter the sky.
I hear the sounds of laughter on the gust of wind. The way the joking and laughter echoes on the breeze is enough to alert me that this is the act of a strong brotherhood of men.
This looks like my dream place. The one place in the world I can come and feel normal, to feel free. I can’t believe this, this can’t be right.
I have made it back to Devilice Island.
I’ve only come here a few times, and each time was while I was asleep. Dreaming of the one place where I’ve always wanted to belong, and never thought existed.
But how did I get here? Did I really jump into the lake and come here? That’s impossible, that can’t be right. It doesn’t make any sense. I really am asleep and this is all a dream—that has to be it, I’m asleep. That’s the only plausible explanation. Right, time to get out of the water and enjoy this place before I wake up and it all disappears.
Slowly starting to make my way over to the shoreline, I can’t get over how different it is here this time. The whole place in front of me is bright, and the shimmer in the air is amazing. It looks like I’m stuck in a snow globe surrounded by glitter. The sweet, succulent smell of honeydew is delectable and the scent changes with the wind as I inhale taking in the new smell. If you could mix the smell of sulfur, pine needles and ocean, that’s what would be enlightening your senses right now. I’ve always been fascinated with all things to do with flames and fire, so the smell of sulfur is one of my favorite scents and it seems to pull me back to this place.
I bring my gaze over to the shoreline. The sun shines in my eyes making it hard for me to see clearly. Squinting a couple of times, I try to get a better view.
Is that a man walking toward me?
I watch as he strides in my direction with a confident swagger. He looks familiar to me, but I don’t know from where I know him. That feeling more than anything makes me uncomfortable.
I’ve never been comfortable around males, and I make sure to go out of my way to stay away from them at all costs. So the fact that he feels familiar is throwing me out of my comfort zone.
How do I know this man? And why is he standing on the shoreline looking amused but pissed off at the same time? The funny thing about this situation is the man can pull it off without even trying. He gives off a total ‘don’t mess with me’ vibe.
He’s intense and I can’t look away. I can’t move. I feel tethered to him, but wanting to turn around and run as fast as I can away from here, away from him.
He has me trapped in the water, and I have no choice but to swim up to him to get out of the lake. Swimming close to shore, I stop breathing when I get a good look at him. Oh, by all that is blessed in this world, I’m loving what I see.
He’s tall and built, at least six foot. He stands with his legs slightly parted and his shoulders hunched over. You can feel the vibration of power rolling off him in waves. I think he’d give the Greek gods a run for their money. What I wouldn’t give to see this man naked. No sooner the thought runs through my mind, he looks over at me and smirks.
Sweet mother of Mary, the things I could do with that mouth. I’d love to see what he can do with it. I could have him between my knees working on me or maybe just kissing me would be enough. I need to get a grip of myself and stop having these sort of thoughts. This isn’t me. The blood in my veins turns to red-hot lava when he turns the hotness levels up a notch and smiles an ‘I’m too sexy for my shirt grin.’
The beautiful sin thought-inducing grin turns into a deadly frown. So even mad, this man can make a woman’s ovaries melt. I never think the things that I am right now. I’ve never looked at a man, and in turn, everything he does turns into something sexual. I need help or just one taste of the forbidden fruit.
He straightens up squaring his shoulders and plants his hands on his hips, scowling. The man is toxic, hot and dangerous, all in the one breath. I swear to God, my ovaries just busted.
“Lacy, what are you doing here? You can’t be here. Now, is not the time. Go back! I can’t help you here. You and your family must leave the lake, now!”
“H-how do you know my name?” Groaning under my breath at my hesitant voice, my hand starts shaking nervously as I run it through my hair and try to clear my throat.
I repeat myself, only clearer this time. “How do you know my name?”
There… that was much better… not so scaredy-cat. Wait, come to think about it, this complete stranger knows my name and knows my family are staying at the lake—that isn’t right. Maybe I should just kick him in the family jewels and make a run for it. I could head toward the buildings and get help.
“Calm your thoughts down my love, be calm. I mean you no harm, you know me. You just need to think.”
The man takes a step toward me and I can’t help the automatic step I take away from him. I mean seriously, what would you do if a huge man started calling you love and stepped into your space? Yeah, totally not the safest time to be standing there like a statue.
The man is a mammoth and I’d only come up to his shoulders. He steps forward closer to me, and I get the strongest smell of lilies and midnight. Taking a deep breath, the familiarity hits once more. I can’t shake the feeling that I do actually know him.
There’s no way it could be… the voice, the smell. I know how I know him. How could I have not noticed before? I know that voice, that voice has helped me get through the darkest moments of my life. The panic I was feeling, morphs into warmth and happiness. While staring at the man in front of me, I take in the long shoulder length dark brown hair, the broad shoulders that lead down to a tapered waist, and the strange marking on his forearm. I tilt my head and squint my eyes, trying to get a better look.
It looks like two wings interlocked together. The coloring is similar to that of a henna tattoo, it’s raised up from the skin. He laughs softly and moves his arm out of my line of sight, then takes a step forward and places his hand on my shoulder. I feel embarrassed when I shake from the slightest of touch.
Wow, just remembering to breathe is hard. I can’t stop thinking about how nice his lips would feel against mine. Groaning aloud at the confused feelings that flood through my body, I tilt my face up toward him. I knew it was him. It’s Bevan, my Bevan. I’m blown away by the realization that he’s standing in front of me.
“Bevan, is that really you?” I ask, voicing the question even though I know it’s him.
I take a step forward, holding my arms out toward him. I just want to wrap my arms around his waist. Bevan shakes his head sadly and takes a step back.
“My sweet, sweet Lyian. Don’t tempt me. Now is not the time, please.” Bevan growls out the ‘please’ like it pains him just to say it.
Well, I wasn’t expecting that, not at all. His words hit me like a freight train in the chest. I know he never meant for it to happen, but his words hurt like a knife through the heart. I feel deflated, completely rejected and not wanted. These aren’t things I want to feel when it comes to Bevan.
Why would he not want me now? There was a time when he held me while I cried for hours on end. He would put me in his lap, pet my hair, and just rock until the tears would subside. Why not now, when I can see him so clearly? I’m hurt that he wouldn’t want me to feel his touch on my skin, without the soft half feeling that we have always had before.
“Bevan,” I beg.
My eyes sting with the effort of holding back my tears.
My throat starts to close up and my tongue thickens. I’m on the verge of a complete and utter meltdown. Bevan takes another step back, putting his hands up in the air in surrender.
“Fuck, don’t you know by now? I love you more than life itself. Clear your mind of those silly thoughts, it’s my job to keep you safe. You need to leave this place. I’m always watching you.”
Bevan tilts his head up to the sky, listening. With a loud, whoop, Bevan’s dark brown wings spring out from his back. He stretches them out wide, spreading them so they mimic a set of angels. His wings are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. They expand at least forty foot wide. Bevan moves his wings straight down at his side. His body shimmers and vibrates, turning transparent.
I know what he’s trying to do. He’s attempting to shift into a shade so he can travel. It isn’t fair that he’s doing this to me right now. This is the first time I’ve actually been able to see him in detail. Every other time, he’s been hiding behind a haze of smoke. His touch was never solid—it was like a feather’s light touch. Is it bad that I want to know what his touch would feel like?
Why would he do this to me? Why would he give me a sample of what I’ve always wanted only to take it all away in a heartbeat? A stray tear breaks free and rolls down my cheek.
“No stop, Bevan, please. I’ve finally seen your face, don’t deny me anymore. You say you love me. So for once, won’t you please just explain things to me?”
I’m too late. Bevan has already turned into the black mist smoke he calls shade. The only thing I can make out in the mist is the outline of his wings. I feel the brush of a light touch along my jaw.
“Think, breathe, my little one. You need to try to get back, my Lyian, I am with you,” he whispers.
It feels like he’s standing right next to me, whispering in my ear. Bevan is able to make me feel as though he’s close, even though he isn’t. Almost like a figment of my imagination.
I groan and lose my temper, scolding him. “You’re not with me. Are you completely insane?” I grit my teeth and try to calm my voice down. Losing my patience won’t get me anywhere with this man. “Once again you’re a shade, a mist, a Watcher. But oh yeah, you’re totally with me. You stupid, stupid man.”
I hear Bevan laugh at my tirade. You have got to be kidding me. This man is infuriating. He can push every one of my buttons and leave me stripped bare all with the same breath. One minute he has me so incredibly turned on, and the next I’m left with a temper which could rival that of the devil himself. That’s when I hear it, that’s when I realize this man—this Watcher, this complete and utter ass—can hear my thoughts.
“Of course, I can read your mind.” He laughs, disappearing into the Trulane Forest on Devilice Island.
What a jerk, of course he would find it funny that I think of him as infuriating. What I should do is follow the jackass and kick him in his family jewels. That might get him to tell me all of the secrets he’s been hiding from me over the past two years. Yes, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. With my new plan in mind, I turn around and start stomping in the direction that I watched his shade go.
I don’t want to leave here, it’s so beautiful. Everything I look at has that brand new shiny look. The trees take me by surprise. Everything is perfect. Since when does nature even look that way? If I didn't see it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t believe it. Nothing is out of place, from the trees to the snow-capped mountain, to the lake at my back. This right here is the true definition of beauty. But then again, this is a dream, and everything in a dream always seems so perfect.
I loud squawk echoes high in the sky, making me jump. I clasp my hand to my thundering chest. Turning my head this way and that, looking for the bird who scared me. A bald eagle flaps its large wings, making its way close to me. Come on bird, you need to stop now. It’s getting so close that I fear it might fly right into me. I brace myself ready to jump out of its way when he swoops landing amongst the tree in front of me. That’s no regular breed of eagle, he’d have to be at least three times larger than the average size. He tilts his head to the side briefly, and bows in my presence.
I shake my head at the random act and continue to walk in the direction of Mister Tell-You-I-Love-You-Then-Leave-Your-Ass.
The skin on my arms starts to prickle with awareness like someone is watching me. I turn around in a slow circle, checking to see if there’s anyone around. My gaze falls back to the tree where the steroid fed bird had landed, only to find he’s no longer in sight.
There’s a scurry of activity within the forest, as birds take flight squawking and singing to each other. They duck and weave between the branches of the trees. I stand there watching the play of the small birds. I look to the left and notice a family of rabbits, hopping in a line and traveling deeper into the forest. Following them to the tree line, I jump over fallen rocks and laugh when branches and leaves get tangled in my hair.
I’m so caught up in observing everything around me that I just make out the low growl which rumbles ahead of me. I lower my head and duck under a low lying branch. The growl sounds out again, this time more menacing, demanding my attention. I don’t dare to move being too scared to even draw in a breath. I cock my head to the side and listen carefully, but there’s nothing. I’ve wandered into a valley so the rumble might have been an echo from further up ahead of me, deeper into the heart of the forest.
Walking along this path is a lot more fun than I thought it’d be. It gives me time to think about what I want to say to Bevan, the jackass. I mean seriously, I know I’m not anyone’s idea of a perfect girl, but who the hell is he to tell me he loves me only to turn, shade and leave.
I huff in frustration and jump over a gap in the ground, grabbing hold of a low branch. I use the branch as a swing and rock my body back and forth before letting go. The branch bounces up and down from the momentum. While standing there staring at it, until it stops bouncing, I thought I heard another low rumble of a growl. I cock my head and listen again, chuckling to myself when the only thing I hear are the whistles and chirps from the birds.
I stop dead in my tracks as I detect the deep growl of an animal, this time I’m sure I’m not imagining it. My body goes stiff and the hairs on my neck stand up, as the fear pulsing through my body freezes me in place. Maybe walking in the forest alone isn’t such a good idea?
The growl sounds like it’s moving around me in the trees and shrubs, stalking me. Maybe I should turn around and go the other way. A massive black wolf jumps out from behind a tree with a savage growl, startling me.
“Oh crap,” I curse, standing frozen.
I’m paralyzed, not even able to scream. Slowly I regain my senses and tentatively take a lazy step backward. I start praying that the wolf won’t attack me, so I don’t take my eyes off him. He scares the daylights out of me standing there with his teeth bared, and his bright orange eyes narrowed. Going by the look on his face, I think I’ve just become dinner. The wolf lowers himself on his haunches. Shit, I think he’s getting ready to pounce on me. I’ve just officially been placed on the menu—Le’Lacy with a side of rabbit. Oh, I have to stop thinking that way. What the hell is wrong with me? Lacy get it together. Crap, crap, crap. Think Lace. I don’t want to become his meal. I need to think of a way out of here.
“Are you out of ever-loving mind? I would never eat you. You’re all skin and bones.” The wolf shakes his head violently from side to side. “Besides, you’re a Lyian. Yuck. That’s wrong, on so many levels. I can’t touch you.”
What the fuck? Where the hell is that deep southern voice coming from? I shake my head, attempting to clear my scattered mind and bringing my gaze back to the wolf with a shudder. I can’t be thinking that he’s actually speaking to me.
“Stupid Lyian. Yes, I’m right in front of you.”
What the hell is going on? I must be dreaming. Yes, that’s it. I’m asleep, that’s why Bevan was able to come to me. He’s my dream man. My one savior in this world. So yes, this is comple
tely and utterly a figment of my imagination. And if that’s the case… I get excited as my next thought takes root in my mind. I can touch the wolf, and he can’t hurt me. That’s the rule, isn’t it? No physical harm can come to you, in a dream. I reach my hand out toward the wolf, smiling from ear to ear. I can’t believe I’m going to do this.
“Lyian, if you even try to touch me, rules or not, I will bite and it isn’t going to tickle. Oh, and trust me, I will gladly take the wrath of the Judadic Council just for one taste of your sweet blood,” he snaps in my mind.
I quickly move my hands back to my side, narrowing my eyes at the wolf. “Okay first off, you said that I was a… did you call me a Lyian? Then you said I was yuck! Now you’re saying that my blood will be sweet. Make up your fucking mind,” I growl at him losing my patience.
This dream sucks. I roll my eyes and glare at the wolf letting out a big puff of air. I’m pretty sure I’ve just messed up and gave the wrong person, or should I say wrong wolf, too much lip because he lets loose a savage growl. That scatters the surrounding birds and wildlife into hiding.
He stalks toward me, slow and lethal. He howls long and loud into the forest-clad sky and I feel the tension in the air change. He leans down so his chest is a breath from touching the ground. Stretching upright, he howls baring sharp teeth that drip with saliva. A second, then third howl is heard in the distance. That sound more than anything, tells me it’s time to go.
I have no control over my body as it shakes violently, like a bowl of Jell-O. My mouth is dry, my palms are sweaty. I try to take a step back away from him, but my legs deceive me. So I take a deep breath and try again.
The wolf stops his howling once he notices that I’m attempting to leave. He smirks at my retreat then he blows me away by doing something so unexpected. He bows his head, turns and leaps back into the thickness of the forest.