One more try, I thought, lifting the sticks, and then the water burst open, and burst open again, and two figures rose side by side.
‘My title is Cyphus, King of the Water Sprites! May I know your title?’
‘My title is Serfpio, King of the Water Sprites! Who is it calls us this fine night?’
‘It’s me,’ I said. ‘Bronte Mettlestone? From Lantern Island? My Aunt Emma—’
But the water sprites were spinning their arms so that water fanned and crashed. ‘Bronte! It is Bronte!’ They embraced each other, dove down, and leapt up again, arms spinning.
‘All the Kingdoms and Empires,’ said Cyphus.
‘All the stars in the heavens,’ said Serfpio.
‘Could not contain our delight!’
‘At seeing you again, Bronte Mettlestone! What news have you of your days since we last saw you?’
‘You must tell us every detail. You left Lantern Island on a ferry boat, yes? And then what? Begin there.’
There was a rush of sound behind me and here was Alejandro, scrambling down to join us. ‘You know water sprites?’ He stared from me to the water sprites and back. ‘Please,’ he said. ‘It is an honour to meet you, water sprites. All my life I have sailed the seas and never have I met a water sprite.’
‘The honour is ours,’ Cyphus told him.
‘Any friend of Bronte’s,’ Serfpio added. ‘What is your title, young man?’
Here, I interrupted and said that this was Alejandro, and that we were trying to rescue my cousin, and wondered if they might help?
They insisted that nothing would make them more joyous than to help.
‘The key to the first Whispering Gate,’ we said, ‘is somewhere in the ocean here.’
‘Speak no more!’ proclaimed Cyphus and he turned to Serfpio. They spoke to each other in low, fast mutters. Both nodded, and there was another splash as they disappeared beneath the waves.
Within minutes they were back, surging out of the water, a huge bronze key held up between them.
The key was the size of a wine bottle, and very heavy.
Alejandro lifted it, I guided it into the lock, and between us, slowly, we turned it. There was a low, grinding sound. A click.
The padlock fell loose.
Before our eyes, the key dissolved and disappeared. We glanced at each other, then pushed hard on the gate.
It swung open.
But we hardly had time to be delighted when an engine sounded behind us.
‘I thought that was too easy,’ I said.
‘It wasn’t that easy,’ Alejandro pointed out.
We waited, halfway through the gate, as an automobile approached, its lights swinging right and left. Straight through the Spellbinding it drove, knocking over a couple of signs.
It pulled up, its doors flew open, and a crowd of children fell out onto the moonlit street.
‘Bronte! You crept away without us!’
‘If you wanted to attempt a rescue, you should have woken us, darling.’
‘We left Benjamin sleeping. He’ll be so mad when he finds us gone.’
‘Not half so mad as the adults will be.’
‘Connor got up for a glass of water and found your note.’
‘This is Aunt Claire’s automobile! Imogen drove! Sebastian wanted to drive, but they flipped a coin and Imogen won.’
‘She was quite good.’
‘Except when she nearly drove us into the ocean.’
‘I got distracted by that dragon shooting flames over the bonnet!’
‘Anybody would have been, darling, please don’t blame yourself.’
‘Taylor—the circus girl—she’s coming too. Separately.’
It was my cousins: Sebastian, Nicholas, and Connor, Imogen, Esther and Astrid. A moment later, with a thundering of hooves, Taylor rode up on Midnight.
‘I suppose,’ Alejandro murmured doubtfully, ‘it is better to be many than few?’
My cousins left the automobile parked at the Whispering Gate, but Taylor carried on riding. Immediately beyond the gate, the road swerved away from the ocean and deep into the forest.
Midnight’s ears flickered. ‘Nothing to worry about,’ Taylor soothed him.
Alejandro and I raised eyebrows at each other. We were on the road to the Whispering Kingdom. There was plenty to worry about.
I was also worried that my boy cousins would argue, and my girl cousins would offer hugs. However, everybody simply set off, the others introducing themselves to Alejandro as we walked.
‘Settle a dispute for me, Alejandro,’ Taylor said, trotting along on Midnight. ‘Were you ever a boy-with-no-shoes who helped Bronte rescue a baby?’
‘I was,’ Alejandro said.
‘You weren’t,’ said Taylor.
‘I was,’ Alejandro repeated.
‘In that case, I owe you an apology, Bronte,’ Taylor declared. ‘I’ll give it to you once we’ve rescued Billy.’
We rounded another curve and the second gate appeared, identical to the first.
The others began rattling it, climbing it, playing with the lock, and so on.
‘There is no point,’ Alejandro told them. ‘The key is in the sky.’
As one, we all looked up.
‘Full moon,’ Sebastian said. ‘A few clouds. Plenty of dragons. No key.’
Nicholas, the skinniest cousin, was trying to squeeze between the bars. ‘We should ask the dragons to fly us over,’ he huffed.
The others chuckled, but I exclaimed, ‘Of course! Well, not fly us over—there’s some kind of mist the dragons can’t get through. But of course!’
Could I remember any Dragon? I closed my eyes and visualised Dragon Great Damian lying beside me, his ankle propped onto a mattress, snorting smoke clouds of laughter at my Dragon. I set that memory aside. It was unhelpful.
I squinted harder, running through our lessons. Then I opened my eyes.
Quickly, I gathered up a handful of dried leaves from the forest floor, crumpled these and clapped four times. ‘Crch, crch, shhh, vip, crch?’ I said. The others stared.
I repeated the whole procedure several times, without looking up, but then I happened to notice the other children backing themselves into the gate. Midnight’s eyes were white and he was snorting and ducking his head. ‘Easy. Easy,’ Taylor was saying.
I looked up.
About twenty-five dragons were soaring directly towards us.
Not twenty-five.
It only looked that way. It was five or six, I think.
Anyway, they landed on the road with mighty thuds. My cousins stared, eyes huge. Connor hid behind Sebastian.
I folded my arms and bowed in the Dragon gesture of friendship. The dragons folded their wings in a great rush of warmth and rustling darkness.
Next I tried to explain things to the dragons. As I didn’t know the Dragon for missing, cousin, locked, gate, key or sky, this was tricky. There were a lot of miming actions and gestures. The dragons, however, listened in silence then conferred, exchanging many glances and chuckles, before politely turning back to me.
Again, they bowed, there was another rush of wings, and they wheeled away into the stars.
The others exhaled all at once.
‘What just happened?’ Esther demanded.
‘They’re looking for the key,’ I said, ‘I think.’
Alejandro asked if he could shake my hand. ‘You are friends with water sprites,’ he told me. ‘And dragons!’
‘Well,’ I pointed out, ‘you’re a pirate.’
He smiled wryly.
My cousins’ confidence returned: Imogen and Sebastian expressed scientific interest in Dragon language while the others complained that they would have loved to ride a dragon, why had I not arranged that?
A few moments later, a single female dragon hovered just above our heads. (The cousins were instantly silent.) A huge silver key was clutched in her claws. She released this and it tumbled onto the road.
I think she told me t
hat she had spied the key in the highest branches of a tree. We both bowed and I thanked her and wished her a marvellous evening under the moonlight. I think that’s what I wished her anyway.
She smiled.
By the time we reached the third gate, I was wondering which new friend I would have to call upon now.
I was interested to find out. Also a bit anxious. This next key was supposed to be in the earth, but I hadn’t befriended any digging creatures, had I? Moles, say? No. I’d have remembered that.
This gate was exactly the same as the first two, except that it had three gargoyles—sculptures of ugly heads—staring down from the top bar. Each face was dark-greenish and scowling, and each wore a padlock on a chain around his neck.
‘We need three keys here?’ Taylor demanded.
‘They want to make it harder now we’re at the third gate,’ Sebastian suggested.
‘Not fair.’ Nicholas flicked each padlock in turn. ‘We should be rewarded for making it this far.’
‘Indeed not!’ boomed a voice, and we all leapt in fright, looking behind, above, into the forest, and down at our feet.
‘It’s me!’ the voice growled, impatiently. ‘Up here!’
‘It is one of the gargoyles!’ Alejandro exclaimed, and he was right. It was the one on the left.
Now the middle one spoke: ‘You’ll never find the key.’
‘Never,’ agreed the one on the right.
‘And if you do,’ piped up the first, ‘you’ll never know which lock to use!’
‘Only one of our padlocks opens the gate!’
‘If you try the wrong one, the key dissolves! The gate stays shut!’
‘But you’ll never find the key.’
Alejandro sighed deeply. ‘You are very discouraging.’
‘We only speak the truth,’ sang the middle gargoyle. The other two smirked.
‘Irritating,’ Esther muttered. ‘Insufferable.’
‘We can hear you,’ the first gargoyle said, sounding affronted. ‘Do you imagine we have no feelings?’
‘You are very handsome gargoyles.’ Connor drew himself up and spoke with great sincerity. ‘I’ve never seen such handsome, intelligent gargoyles. And your voices are so—’
‘Resonant?’ Imogen suggested.
‘If that’s a good thing,’ agreed Connor.
‘Flattery won’t work,’ the gargoyles chanted, in unison. ‘We’ll never help you find the key.’
‘Good try anyway, Connor,’ we all told him.
There was a long silence.
The gargoyles looked at us sneeringly, and we looked at each other.
‘It’s in the earth somewhere,’ Alejandro reminded us, so we began kicking at the road—it was dirt and gravel, edged with thick clumps of leaves and clustered trees. Taylor slid from Midnight’s back to help.
At this point, my heart started a low, quick, thudding.
Because now I had to make my Whispering work. No magical friends.
I must do this myself. Alone.
‘Open,’ I whispered to the gate. I looked the first gargoyle deep in his eyes. ‘Open,’ I hissed at him.
He blinked. ‘Eh?’ he said.
‘Hey!’ shouted Sebastian.
I swung around. He was pointing at the road. ‘Something just …’
‘There!’ cried Astrid.
‘Over there!’
‘No! There!’
I had no idea what they were shrieking about, but then I shouted too, ‘It’s there!’
A golden key lay in the centre of the road. Then it didn’t.
‘It’s over here!’
‘It’s here!’
The key zigged. It zagged. It moved so fast it was a blur.
‘I’ll get it!’ Connor threw himself onto his stomach then sat up, looking at his empty hands in surprise.
‘Got it!’ Taylor stamped her shoe. Raised it. The key was gone.
A glint. A flash of gold. The key skidded. It skated.
The gargoyles cackled. ‘You’ll never catch it!’ one said.
‘It likes to play with you!’
‘It will keep you playing for eternity.’
‘Unlikely.’ Imogen narrowed her eyes. ‘I’m not staying that long.’
Sebastian was standing perfectly still. His eyes darted back and forth, following the key. Nicholas, noticing this, began springing from side to side. Connor crouched low and swayed.
There was something familiar about the way the three of them were positioned.
‘Behind you,’ Sebastian snapped, and Nicholas spun around, got his foot behind the key and kicked. It flew into the air. Connor slammed forward and thwack went the key against his forehead. It thudded onto the grass, bouncing once.
But Sebastian, leaping sideways, caught it with the side of his shoe, and began a sort of shuffle movement forward. Glint! went the key, glancing from shoe to shoe, always the inside of the shoe, as Sebastian twisted and turned, his knees slightly bent, one moment slow, the next rapid, and then thwack, he sent it flying straight across the ground to Connor.
Of course, I thought. It’s soccer.
The rest of us faded back, out of the way, watching. Now Connor flicked the key into the air above his right foot, caught it with his left, did the same with his right, and then kicked it hard towards Nicholas. The key landed on the road. It swung to the right, paused, and swung back to the left.
‘Come on, boys,’ Sebastian muttered. ‘We’ve got it rattled now.’
After that, things sped up to a blur. Sparks of metal, bursts of dust, Sebastian barked instructions, Nicholas danced, Connor stampeded. More and more, the boys closed in, passing the key back and forth between them. The key seemed to wobble in panic, then it swerved one way but Sebastian was faster, skidding onto his side on the road and catching it with the toe of his shoe. It flew into the air, and Nicholas leapt up and thwacked it hard, legs to the side in a scissor kick. At that point, Connor launched himself onto his stomach, hands outstretched, crashed onto the dirt—and rose up, coughing dust, both hands clutched around the key.
The rest of us cheered.
‘Whoa,’ said the first gargoyle.
‘Did that just happen?’ asked the second.
‘Not bad,’ admitted the third, raising an eyebrow. ‘Never seen that done before.’
‘Useless to you, of course,’ sang the first. ‘Since you don’t know which lock to use.’
The brothers, still getting their breath back, told the gargoyles to shut their traps.
Now Imogen stepped up to the gate.
‘So if we use the key in your padlock,’ she said to the first gargoyle, ‘it will dissolve?’
The gargoyle grinned. ‘Depends,’ he said, ‘whether I’m the right one or not.’
‘Well, are you?’ she asked.
‘That’d be telling, wouldn’t it?’
Imogen side-stepped so she faced the second gargoyle. ‘Are you the one?’
The second gargoyle winked.
She studied his face a moment, then slid to the right again, now facing the third gargoyle.
‘And you?’
The third sighed elaborately. ‘You’ll never figure it out this way.’
Imogen turned to her sisters, who were watching this with interest. ‘What do you think?’ she asked.
Esther and Astrid stepped closer to the gate.
‘Is it you?’ Esther asked the first.
‘What do you think?’ he responded.
‘You?’ she tried the second.
He grinned.
‘You?’
The third gargoyle sniffed.
Astrid took a turn. She did not ask any questions, but stepped from face to face, nodding politely at each.
‘It’s the middle one,’ she said.
‘I agree,’ said Imogen.
‘Me, too,’ Esther chimed in.
The girls turned to Connor. ‘Try the middle one,’ they said, and Connor took a step foward, hefting the key between his hands.
‘Hold up,’ Sebastian said.
We all turned. ‘Don’t waste the key,’ he said. ‘How do you know it’s the middle one?’
‘Shouldn’t we have to solve riddles?’ Alejandro suggested.
‘We don’t do those,’ the gargoyles apologised in unison.
‘The first one is bluster,’ Imogen explained. ‘The third is indifference. They’re both double-bluffing, so that leaves the middle one.’
‘The middle one has a tiny crease above his right brow,’ Esther added. ‘It flickers.’
‘It’s the middle one,’ Astrid repeated. We looked at her. ‘I didn’t know until just now, when I said it was,’ she added. ‘Then I knew. All three faces told me I was right.’
‘How?’ Sebastian asked.
Astrid shrugged. ‘Just did.’
‘If Astrid says it is, then it is,’ Imogen declared. ‘She can read faces. A poker champion. Connor, use the key in the middle lock.’
‘Connor, stay where you are,’ Sebastian said.
There was a long moment during which Imogen and Sebastian held each other’s gaze.
‘Make a decision,’ Taylor said. ‘It’s almost dawn. See the sky?’
We all looked up and, as we did, Taylor swept forward, slid the key from Connor’s hand and jammed it in the middle lock.
It worked. I knew it would.
Taylor hadn’t known though, and she let out a whoosh of relief. The girls’ expressions said: Told you so. The boys’ said: Well, still. Risky.
Taylor rode, and the rest of us jogged through the open gate. I thought maybe the gargoyles would congratulate us, but they only grumbled to each other.
‘What now?’ said Esther, but the road turned another corner and there it was: rising before us, bathed in moonlight, the Whispering Kingdom.
Cobblestone streets, lit by street lamps and lined with narrow houses, wound up the hill towards a castle. We were standing on damp grass, dark clumps all around us. I looked closely at one of these clumps: a rose bush. We were in a rose garden. Silent, we gazed up at the Kingdom.
‘It doesn’t look especially evil,’ Imogen said quietly.
‘It’s picturesque,’ Sebastian nodded.
‘Going to find Billy,’ Taylor announced, clicking at Midnight, and trotting away between rose bushes.
The Extremely Inconvenient Adventures of Bronte Mettlestone Page 27