“What’s the matter, baby? You’re not happy to see me?”
Brielle stood in the doorway, unsure whether or not she was welcome inside, watching Jordan’s expression and stance as he ran his hands over his head. She would have given anything to know what he was feeling right now.
“It’s not that. You know I’m always happy to see you,” Jordan said with a half-smile, and for a second, Jordan believed his own words, hoping she did too. It wasn’t a complete lie. His body did get turned on by her, begging him to do things he knew they both enjoyed, but after everything that had happened between him and Cassie, he couldn’t find enthusiasm in being with Brielle at this moment. If he let himself get physical with Brielle, a part of him felt as if he would be betraying Cassie, even though she had made it perfectly clear there was nothing between them anymore.
Brielle wasn’t buying his excitement. She hadn’t even gotten past the threshold of the front door as she crossed her arms over her hot pink spaghetti strap top and plastered a frown on her face.
Then her eyes looked past Jordan toward a framed picture sitting on a narrow table near the front entrance. She was a fair distance away from it, but she instantly spotted something familiar about the two people in the picture, which was obviously of a mother and child. Brielle realized she knew the face; it belonged to the woman with the lovely blonde hair she had met at the bakery when she stopped to ask for directions.
“Who’s that?” she asked to get Jordan’s attention. Her question made him follow her gaze to the picture, and he rubbed his chin with one hand.
“Do you know her?” Jordan asked, although he didn’t know how she would have.
“Well, no, not really,” Brielle said, shaking her head, “but I did meet the woman at a shop when I was asking for directions. It’s obvious though that either you or your roommate knows her, so who is she?” Her eyes were wide as she waited for details, and she slipped her slender fingers through her black hair, smoothing out the knots casually.
Jordan sighed heavily, and Brielle took it as him knowing who she was.
“As you can probably see just by driving through town, Yellow Valley doesn’t have a big population, so you know almost everyone in town. Cassie and I grew up together. We went to the same school,” Jordan detailed.
There was more. She could see it in his eyes Jordan wasn’t finished. Brielle knew that much. She only wanted him to open up to her. She wanted him, and to mean more to him than just someone he hooked up with when he was feeling horny. If he still had feelings for Cassie—it was obvious she had meant something to him in his past—then she ought to know about it before she put her heart in the firing line for heartbreak she always hoped she would never feel.
“Cassie and I were a couple in high school. We dated for several years until after graduation when we decided to go our separate ways. I haven’t had an opportunity to come home since I left, so when I came home this time, I discovered I’m a father. Cassie and I share a son together.”
Wow! Brielle certainly wasn’t expecting to be told the guy she was kind of seeing was suddenly a father. What could she make of this news? She wasn’t ready to take on the role of a stepmother.
“You’re a dad?” she practically screeched. She hadn’t meant to say it like that, but it just came out. She was very surprised, to say the least.
Jordan gulped and nodded his head. “I am,” he said while scratching the back of his head. “I know I never expected to find out I’m a dad, but now that I’ve had the opportunity to get to know my son, I can’t imagine not being in his life.”
“Why are you telling me this?” she asked.
“You asked me if I knew her. Well, that’s how I know her. She was my first love.”
“Do you still love her?”
Jordan couldn’t answer that question, when he wasn’t even sure of the answer himself, even though he was sure part of him already knew.
So he responded as best as he could. “I guess there will be a part of me that will always love Cassie. She was my first real relationship, and because of the child we share together, she and I will forever be in each other’s lives. I’m going to be a part of my child’s life.”
“I guess why I’m really asking is because I want to be a part of your life too. And I want to know where I stand with you. Do you see me in your life too?”
Brielle desperately needed to know she meant something to Jordan as much as he meant to her. Could she ever be meaningful to Jordan like Cassie obviously was?
“You are a part of my life.”
He wasn’t getting what she meant.
“No, you don’t understand,” Brielle said, shaking her head as she took his hand in hers, and to her, they simply fit together like they were meant to be, but did Jordan feel the same way? “I like you. A lot. I guess I want us to be more than acquaintances who happen to hook up every so often. I want to go out on an actual date with you.”
She watched as Jordan quickly looked away from her, taking in a deep breath before turning back to her.
“Well, I guess we can go out on a date. I’m just not sure I can handle anything else right now. At the moment, my life is hectic enough as it is. I’m not really looking for a relationship.”
“Okay,” Brielle agreed, despite her response obviously being a lie.
Even though it wasn’t the answer Brielle was really hoping for, she knew she shouldn’t push the matter any further. And she certainly wasn’t going to question meeting his son at the risk of pushing Jordan away permanently. For now, she would be happy to simply go out on a date with the guy she was seeing.
Five days had passed since Cassie’s impromptu fling with Jordan, and despite knowing she shouldn’t be harboring clandestine feelings for her ex-boyfriend—obvious reason being he was already involved with someone else—she couldn’t seem to get the thought of him out of her head. She still envisioned the two of them together in her kitchen, and the way his touch sent shivers throughout her entire body like he was electrified. She knew she couldn’t keep thinking about Jordan this way anymore, because despite what happened between the two of them, they would not be getting back together. That was made seamlessly clear the second Cassie realized he was seeing someone from Miami. Instead, they would remain civil toward each other while they continued to co-parent Jake together, which is exactly what Cassie was going to have to learn to deal with, even if it killed her. She couldn’t go on thinking about someone she couldn’t physically be with. It wasn’t healthy to constantly be reminded of how she really felt for her son’s father.
Cassie began to think there was only one logical answer to overcoming her little problem. Maybe she needed to reconsider Gabby’s idea to go out on a date with someone new. If there was a way she could stop herself from fixating on her ex-boyfriend, then she had to at least give it a go. She couldn’t keep going on the way she was.
She thought if she could just keep busy by working and raising Jake in a normal upbringing, then all her thoughts about Jordan would simply disappear like they never existed in the first place. Unfortunately, her head and her heart had other ideas, and one wasn’t communicating with the other.
Cassie only saw one possible outcome to resolve her little dilemma. She didn’t want to continue obsessing over something that was never going to happen on her day off work, when she only got a few of them. She should be making the most of her time spent away from the bakery.
As she paced the tiled floors of her kitchen, contemplating over her impossible choices and what she should do—before she chewed through all her fingernails and had nothing to paint and make pretty, or before she paced around her kitchen enough to wear a hole in the middle of the floor—she slipped her iPhone out of her skinny-leg jeans pocket, unlocked the screen, and dialed a number she’d saved a while ago.
Waiting for an answer felt like torture. She hoped she hadn’t her bridges by saying no so many times he’d finally taken the hint and realized it just wasn’t meant to be.
> Then, she was taken by surprise when a deep voice answered the phone call with a simple, “Hello?”
Cassie breathed out a sigh into the phone, giving herself a little pep talk. She could do this. She had to. She saw no other choice if she insisted on moving on with life without Jordan.
“Jesse?” Cassie asked.
“Yes? It’s Cassie, right? I have caller I.D,” he responded. His voice sounded almost happy to hear it was her calling him since it was usually Jesse calling Cassie.
“I—um—” Cassie stuttered. She didn’t have a whole lot of practice in dating, when she had only ever been out with one guy in her entire twenty-five years of life.
You can do this, she told herself. It’s not rocket science or anything, Cassie. You’re just asking him out. He’s asked you out plenty of times. It can’t be too damn hard to do. He might even say yes.
But the yes part was probably what scared Cassie the most. Although she knew she needed to escape her comfort zone, she wasn’t sure she would ever truly be ready to leave the past where it belonged—in the past.
“I was calling to ask if your offer to go out on a date was still open,” Cassie said all in breath, as if she had to get it out before she changed her mind or realized it was an abominable mistake.
“So, you mean to tell me you’ve actually reconsidered and changed your mind about going out with me?”
“Wow, you make it sound like I find you repugnant or something,” Cassie joked, and she heard Jesse join in with a chuckle.
“Sorry. I don’t mean to, but I have asked you out on a number of occasions, and each time, you’ve turned me down. I was beginning to think you didn’t like me very much.”
“No hard feelings or anything, I do like you. You’re an incredible friend to me, and I wanted to say yes to go out with you the first time you asked me out. I just didn’t know if the time was right to be going out with you, and if by doing so, how much of an impact it would have on Jake.”
“How do you feel now?” Jesse asked her, his tone of voice changing to a serious one.
“I wouldn’t be calling you if I didn’t want to go out with you, if that’s anything to go by.” If only that were the actual truth. Cassie didn’t like lying to those she cared about, but she also didn’t have much of a choice. She didn’t want Jesse finding out the real reason she was changing her mind about a date with him. He didn’t deserve to know the only reason she was changing her mind was because she needed to get her mind off of someone else, kind of like a rebound thing, even though she didn’t plan to sleep with Jesse—or with anybody—on the first date. Unlike Gabby, Nick, or even Jordan, it wasn’t her style.
Nobody deserved to be a rebound. Sometimes, it just happened that way.
“Okay, so I will pick you up at seven tonight.” Jesse’s voice changed once more, and Cassie felt bad again that she didn’t feel as good as he obviously did about their plans.
“It’s a date.”
Once Cassie ended the phone call, there was a tiny part of her deep down inside that felt all giddy. She finally had something to look forward to, and she’d finally have a chance to wear the little black dress she’d bought a couple of months ago, but hadn’t worn yet. Maybe a date with Jesse was exactly what she needed to really get over Jordan after all.
Later that evening, Cassie’s impending date with Jesse was fast approaching. Cassie was busily getting ready and keeping Jake occupied until Nick arrived. He kindly agreed to babysit Jake tonight since he said he had nothing better to do than look after his favorite godson while his mother enjoyed a rare night out with—Gabby’s words—a good looking man. Cassie had to agree with her friend. Jesse was most definitely blessed with ravishing good looks, devastatingly gorgeous with shiny golden-brown hair, piercing blue-green eyes, and a chiseled jaw to die for. To say he was the complete opposite of Jordan was the understatement of the century, despite both men being handsome and muscular. Cassie felt blessed that men so very easy on the eyes were drawn to her. You could call it a curse because of the troubles it would sometimes cause in her life, but most times, it was nice to have the male attention she received when she wanted it. She was always flattered by the attention, even if she didn’t always ask for it.
Cassie had put on Cars 2 for Jake so she could apply a little bit of make-up to her face in peace. She wasn’t the type to wear a whole lot of make-up caked on her face, but when she did get to go out, she liked to put a little bit on to make her eyes pop.
“Mooommy!” Jake wailed, almost like he was being tortured.
Cassie rushed out to him where he was resting his head on the sofa in the living room.
Her hand pressed to his forehead, and she realized he was hot to the touch.
“Oh, baby, are you not feeling well?” she asked him softly.
“No, Mommy,” he said, shaking his head, making his tiny curls bounce around, “I feel sick.”
Cassie didn’t know if this was his way of telling her he didn’t want her to date like she’d often seen children in movies do when their parents were going out, but she knew this wasn’t one of those times she could easily brush it off, sit Jake down, and tell him everything would be okay. She couldn’t take that chance if he really was sick, which she assumed he was, because he definitely couldn’t fake this fever. Cassie wasn’t going to go out while her child was sick, despite the fact Nick would be here looking after him and could easily call her if Jake got any worse. She wasn’t the type of mother to do that. She wasn’t the type of mother to even go out, leaving her kid to be looked after by someone else. She liked to look after him herself. Jake was her responsibility; therefore, she knew what she had to do, even if he wasn’t going to like it.
“I will be right back. Mommy’s going to get you some medicine to make you feel better,” she told her little boy, rising to stand and heading toward the kitchen to retrieve the medicine for him, and to also send a quick text message to Jesse explaining how she would need to postpone their date, because Jake was sick. Before she even made it back into the living room, she got a reply from Jesse saying he understood and would be there whenever she wanted to reschedule their date. Cassie realized at that point Jesse was one of the good guys in this world. He wasn’t a jerk like most men turned out to be, and he was actually willing to wait around until she was ready to go out with him. She didn’t think most men would be willing to wait for her.
She then sent a quick text to Nick saying he wasn’t needed tonight. She was happy to be staying home to take care of Jake, because she was a mother first and foremost, no matter how good looking a date was.
Standing outside Brielle’s motel room, Jordan tapped on the door, hoping she wouldn’t leave him standing outside for too long. He was nervous as hell and wasn’t sure how much more he could take before the butterflies in the pit of his stomach did too many flutters and made him want to hurl. He felt this way the first time he saw Cassie again after years of her absence in his life, and then again when Jake was introduced to him as his son. But this time wasn’t like any of those moments. This time felt a little different, almost like he was making some kind of mistake or didn’t really want to be here. Was the universe trying to tell him something?
He knew he couldn’t back away now; he had already knocked on her door. She would open it any minute now and see him standing there all handsome in a plain burgundy shirt that covered his tattoos but allowed a subtle amount of muscle to show, along with tailor-made pants. If he simply walked away, which he didn’t have the heart to do to her anyway, Jordan knew Brielle would be as devastated as Cassie probably was the night he ended things with her all those years ago. Despite the way he was feeling, and how he just couldn’t turn on the strong feelings for her like he felt for Cassie, he didn’t want to bring heartbreak into Brielle’s life. She didn’t deserve that kind of pain. He supposed a date with Brielle was easy enough. After all, their little trysts they enjoyed time and time again were a lot of fun. How hard could one date be?
A
nd then the door opened, revealing Brielle in a figure-hugging little red and black V-neck dress that made her long, slender legs look as if they went on and on.
Damn! She looked so sexy in this dress. Jordan would have liked to see her out of it even more than in it. It was too damn bad they were heading out instead of staying in like they usually did.
“Wow!” It was the only word Jordan could manage to speak.
Brielle grinned widely, placing a hand on her left hip as she struck a pose, bending her leg slightly as she modelled for him.
“Do you really think I look good?” she asked him, wanting to know his honest opinion while flashing him a big smile and tossing her wavy almost-black hair over her shoulder in seductively.
“I do.”
“Thank you,” Brielle graciously accepted. “I didn’t want to stand out too much, but I also didn’t bring a whole lot of clothes women who live here wear. I thought this dress was a little more casual than the other ones I brought with me.”
Jordan knew no matter how hard she tried not to stand out in a crowd, she would still be the only one wearing that kind of dress, but at least she looked sexy wearing it.
“No, you look absolutely fine. You’re stunning! Are you ready?”
Brielle nodded her head. “Yep, let me just grab my purse and then we can go,” she said while slipping back into her motel room. She retrieved her Chanel purse and slipped on the pair of red shoes she owned which didn’t have a tall heel on them. She figured they would be the most likely to make her fit into Yellow Valley, rather than stand out like she had when she first arrived.
Home is Where the Heart is Page 11