With one hand on her hip and her leg bent outwards, she sent an impish grin in Jordan’s direction.
“That was amazing. You were so good.”
Cassie shrugged her shoulders. “Let’s not make a big deal out of it or anything. You knew I could play the piano. You just didn’t know I could sing too.”
She finished the rest of her drink while people passing their table on the way toward the exit congratulated her on a delightful piece. And even though she loved hearing how good she was, she couldn’t help but feel her cheeks grow redder than usual. She wasn’t used to being told she was good at something besides her love for the culinary arts.
Jordan pushed his body further toward Cassie, inching closer to her, and she wasn’t so sure she was comfortable being in such close proximity with her former boyfriend as she was sure she would have been when they dated.
Jordan bowed his head down to Cassie’s level, his dark brown eyes piercing into her like she was the only one in the world that mattered to him.
He cleared his throat and then said in that same deep tone of voice Cassie used to love hearing. “Do you want to get out of here?”
Cassie gulped, not knowing what to say or how to respond to his question. She knew she should have seen it coming. All the signs from tonight were pointing and leading up to this very moment, but now that it was here, Cassie couldn’t find the courage to admit to herself—let alone Jordan—how she was truly feeling right now.
“Um…okay.”
She wanted to get home to Jake anyway. She didn’t like to be away from him any more than a couple of hours during the night. She liked to be able to go home and tuck him into bed, or at least give him his goodnight kiss.
She really was ready to get out of there, and it wasn’t like she could go home without Jordan. Besides, part of her was looking forward to seeing how the night ended. The other part was scary as hell.
Jordan walked Cassie to her door like any gentleman did when the evening came to an end.
Cassie hated to admit it, but tonight really had been a perfect night. She couldn’t wish for better company than her son’s father.
Standing on the front porch, Jordan bowed his head down to Cassie’s level, and for a second, she thought he was going to kiss her.
His nose was touching hers. She could just make out the musky scent of his cologne, which no doubt was his favorite since he wore it all the time.
“So...I had fun tonight on—”
Cassie cut him off, placing one finger on his lips to shush him. “Don’t say it.” She knew very well they both knew tonight was more like a date than a non-date, even though she didn’t want to admit the truth.
Jordan showed his trademark smirk and laughed. “On our fake date—that was what I was going to say.”
Cassie hit him playfully on the shoulder. “Good save, but who am I kidding? It was a date, and I had fun too. It made me think of the old times we shared together.”
Jordan couldn’t think of any better time to make the moment memorable by stealing one sweet kiss with the beautiful woman standing in front of him.
Before Cassie knew what he was doing or had to time to react, his mouth collided with hers in one mind-blowing kiss, and although part of her didn’t want their kiss to stop, she knew she couldn’t go on like this. She couldn’t lead Jordan on and let him think she wanted something more with him, when she really wasn’t sure she could handle rekindling a relationship with him all over again.
Her hands came up and lightly pushed against his chest to move him away from her and stop their kiss from going any further, using her hands as a barrier between them, even though all she felt like doing was allowing his body to do what it did best and continue grinding against her.
“Jordan...we can’t...I’m sorry.”
Jordan looked puzzled, his eyes scanning her face as if he was searching for some kind of answer. “You don’t want this?”
“No, I do,” Cassie said, shaking her head. “You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now, and how much I want the kiss to escalate into something more. I’ve wanted this to happen again since that night in my kitchen, but it can’t—at least, not now.”
Jordan stepped forward, closing the small gap between them. His hand brushed against her smooth cheek and she knew she could just as easily go all the way and allow him access to even more of her, but she just wasn’t sure she had it in her to put her heart on the line again.
“You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this—how much I’ve wanted you.” His voice was hoarse through his ragged breathing.
His fingers ran through her hair, feeling the silkiness of each strand he touched, and Cassie so desperately wanted to fall into his arms and be swept off her feet by him, but she also knew she had be realistic and put her son’s needs ahead of her own. The possibility of reuniting with Jordan was simply not an option.
“I can’t be with you. I know you say you love me and want to be with me, but we’ve been through this before. Things change and there are too many temptations in Miami, especially when you’re in the NFL and in the spotlight the way you are. I know that women throw themselves at you, and how could they not? I’m just not sure I could handle being in that kind of relationship.”
“But I don’t care about other women the way I do about you. I don’t want anybody else; I just want you. You’re it for me. You always have been, and I think part of me has always known that. It’s probably why I have never been able to commit to any other relationship.”
His face grew serious. Cassie was having a hard time trying not to believe the words coming out of his mouth. He was saying what she and every other woman wanted to hear, and she desperately wanted to believe him, but actions spoke louder than words and she couldn’t help but think back to the last time they were together, and how awkward and messed up it was when they attempted to commit to a long distance relationship.
“You say that now, but things can change in the blink of an eye. We’re both used to it happening. We know what it feels like, and I’m not prepared to put myself through that all over again. I’m sorry.”
Jordan knew no matter how many times he said he wasn’t going to break her heart, he wouldn’t be able to convince her to give their relationship another go. She was stubborn, much like him.
“It’s okay.” Despite the lie he was suddenly telling, he tried not to look as disappointed as he was feeling and covered it up with the best smile he could manage. “I do understand.” He was hurting. She knew that, and as much as she’d like to tell him she wanted to give them another go, she simply couldn’t do it. She couldn’t admit she wanted to be with him too, even though a big part of her was telling her to just go for it and never let him go, holding on tight with all her might.
But he understood what she was getting at. He wasn’t happy about it, but he did get it, and she had every right to feel the way she was feeling. Jordan knew he had hurt her the last time, and even though he vowed never to break her heart again, and as many times as he tried to convince her he wasn’t that same eighteen-year-old boy he was six years ago, he knew once Cassie made up her mind, there was no turning back from it. He just wasn’t happy about it. He didn’t know if he would ever be truly over her, but for Jake’s sake, Jordan knew he couldn’t leave on bad terms. They would forever be a part of each other’s lives, so he had to at least try to stay civil with the mother of his child, even if they wouldn’t be together.
Cassie knew Jordan was being purposely calm about her rejection, even though she wasn’t sure what to expect from him anyway. She figured it could have just as easily gone the other way too. She could have been welcoming him into her arms and into her heart again, but there was a tiny piece of her heart that was still left broken from the last time Jordan had stomped on it, crushing it into a million little pieces. Cassie wasn’t prepared to risk it happening again, even if it meant she was turning her back on the possibility of love in her heart. Cassie was sure she could feel tha
t way again, just not with Jordan, and certainly not with someone who lived his life mostly out of town.
And then just like that, he was gone, leaving Cassie reeling from the events of the night.
She didn’t want to talk about it, but she knew once she got inside the house, Gabby and maybe even Nick would want to know the gory details. She wouldn’t be able to stop the interrogation-style questions. Questions would always arise when Jordan showed his presence in Cassie’s life.
Cassie took in one deep breath, and then slowly blew it out, turning the handle to open the door and stepping inside, where she found a half-asleep Nick sprawled out on her comfy couch.
“Hi,” she said, scanning the room for her other friend. “Where’s Gabby?”
Nick sat up into a sitting position, scratching his head with a half-dazed look still planted on his face. “Well, after Jake went to bed, she didn’t see any point in both of us being here, so she went home.”
Cassie could swear she detected a hint of disappointment hidden in her friend’s voice.
Nick looked her up and down.
“How was your night? Did you have fun?” Then he peered past her as if he was looking for Jordan.
“Where’s Jordan?”
“He’s gone... I suspect back to your place.” Cassie bent down and slipped her boots off, placing them in the hall next to the table where she kept notes, pens, and odd and ends. She then took a seat on the couch next to Nick. “My night was good.”
“That’s all?”
Cassie shrugged her shoulders. “What? I had fun. How was your night? Was he a good boy for you?” She changed the subject.
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right. Date night between you and Jordan is probably the same as it was when we were in high school, except for the fact when you said it wasn’t a date—even though we both know it was.”
Not really, Cassie felt like saying, but she kept it to herself and instead, bit down on her bottom lip.
“Jake was an absolute champ, like always. He’s a pleasure to babysit and be able to call him my godson. He’s a great kid. Besides, he gives me the opportunity to unleash the inner-child inside me and play video games with him—which he is awesome at, by the way.”
Cassie laughed. She certainly didn’t know where her son got his gaming skills. They weren’t from her; that was for sure.
Cassie nudged Nick playfully in the arm. “Oh, but you’re just a big kid at heart anyway. That wouldn’t be hard for you to do.”
She rose to her feet to make her way in to see her son before she too headed off to bed, ready to sleep off the events she experienced tonight.
Cassie laid one hand on Nick’s knee as she got to her feet, whispering “Thank you.”
She really was grateful for everything her friends did to help her out. She couldn’t have wished for better friends than Nick, Gabby, and even Gabby’s parents.
“Anytime. Like I said, he’s no trouble. I’ll see myself out. Goodnight.”
With her back turned, she waved goodbye as she walked toward Jake’s bedroom, entering softly to stand at the foot of his bed.
Her motherly instincts kicked into overdrive, and she couldn’t help but gently brush the top of his forehead with her hand knowing she would be okay without Jordan as her boyfriend. She had made it this far without him. She just knew she could make it even more, because Jake’s life depended on her being as strong as she could possibly be as a single parent.
Two weeks had passed since Cassie rejected the idea of a possible reunion between her and Jordan. Since then, though not by choice, he had quietly retreated back to Miami for training camp before football season officially began—which the entire town of Yellow Valley was ecstatic about. Cassie hadn’t realized she resided in such a football-crazed town until now, but thankfully, Jordan hadn’t just bailed without saying goodbye to Jake or spending some quality father-son time with him, which—Cassie knew—Jordan and Jake now cherished, telling him how he would return, just as soon as he was able to come back.
Summer vacation was on the verge of winding down, and school would resume very soon, but in the meantime, on the days when Cassie had to go to work—despite being the boss now, which was still very new to her—she made arrangements for Jake to either play with his friends or spend the day with his surrogate grandparents, otherwise known as Gabby’s parents, which was where he was today.
Since Jordan’s departure from town, things were finally going back to the way they once were, despite his obvious presence in Jake’s life with his frequent phone calls, texts, and e-mails. Cassie was now free to move on with her life without the extra pressure she knew Jordan put on her heart.
Today was a good day too, preparing for a couple of functions she was baking cakes and cupcakes for. Her work certainly allowed for a great distraction in her personal life.
Later that morning, while fighting with the old coffee machine she was in desperate need of replacing as soon as she could afford to, Cassie was caught by surprise when the bells above the door jingled and in walked Jesse. She hadn’t talked to him since she cancelled their date the night Jake fell ill with appendicitis.
Chills were sent up and down Cassie’s arm as she tried not to notice Jesse walking toward her. She wondered if there was any bad blood between them, hoping he wasn’t upset she’d had to cancel on their date before it even happened.
Then she saw a smile appeared on his face as he approached the counter, and she realized she had nothing to worry about at all.
“Good morning. Would you like your usual order?” she asked him without taking her eyes off the coffee machine.
Jesse leaned one arm against the counter, his dazzling blue eyes looked straight at her.
“Yes, please. Am I really that predictable?”
Cassie laughed. “Well, you’re not, but your boss is,” she pointed out, referring to Nick. “Besides, I make it my mission to get to know my customers’ regular orders if I want to keep them as my customers. Your coffee and donuts will be ready shortly. I’m just finishing them off now.”
Jesse winked at her, making Cassie blush. “There’s no rush. Nick was on his phone with a client as I was leaving. He will probably be busy for a while."
His wink sent shivers through Cassie’s body, and these feelings inspired her to make his order a whole lot faster.
“So how’s Jake?” he casually asked, making small talk as he waited.
“He’s good now, back to his bright and persistent self again, thank God. After our ordeal, I think I actually like the boisterous side of my son.”
“I bet.”
“Sorry about our date. I never did get to apologize in person.”
“It’s okay. We’ve both been busy, and your child had to come first that night. If I had a kid who was sick, I wouldn’t have left him to go out either. You did the right thing.”
Cassie whipped a plastic to-go lid onto the cup of coffee before placing another empty mug under the spouts and pressing buttons so coffee was released into the cup.
Cassie mouthed a thanks to him as she returned to battling with the coffee machine as she tried to simultaneously fight the alluring attraction she shared with Jesse. Of course, it wasn’t as strong as the one she shared with Jordan, but there was a definite spark felt between her and Jesse, and she couldn’t deny it, even if she wanted to.
When Cassie handed him his order, along with a cardboard box containing the homemade donuts she had made last night after Jake had gone to bed because there was nothing good on television, she surprised herself when she spontaneously asked him a question she, and even Jesse, wasn’t expecting.
“So is that date still saved for another day?” Her lips formed a smile.
“It is if you want it to be. I don’t want to push you into going out on a date if you’re not interested. I’m not forcing you to say yes or anything, although it would be nice.” Plus, Jesse had learned of the date Cassie went on with Jordan before he left town. He knew they shared a long hi
story together, not to mention a child. He didn’t want to be the guy standing in the way of the former couple rekindling their love. Jesse didn’t know Jordan that well, but he knew Nick and he were best friends, and he respected their friendship and his job too much to jeopardize it.
His sexy charm and charisma snuck out, along with his Texan accent Cassie loved as he handed her a twenty-dollar bill. She slipped over to the register, hit keys until the drawer opened, and she popped the money in, and her fingers grazed his as she handed him the change.
Did she really want to go out with him? She wasn’t so sure of her answer, but she couldn’t tell him that and risk hurting his feelings. He was a gentleman and didn’t deserve the kind of broken heart she had struggled with for six years.
“Of course I want to go out with you. I wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise,” she said instead, “but do you mind if I just meet you there instead? For me, it’s easier than facing an awkward meeting with Jake. I’d rather leave that to another time.” She wiped her hands on her hot pink apron.
When I know it’s actually going to make it to that point, Cassie thought.
“Oh, that’s fine. That decision is completely up to you.”
They made plans to meet tomorrow night at Mike’s Tavern at seven o’clock, and when she watched Jesse leave the bakery, Cassie was beginning to think a ruggedly handsome man like him was exactly what she needed to give her the courage to stop struggling over her feelings for an ex-boyfriend she knew she couldn’t be with again. Now she just needed to start believing it.
Forty-eight hours after arriving back in Miami from Texas, training camp had officially begun for Jordan and the rest of the Miami Dolphins leading up to the NFL season.
Home is Where the Heart is Page 18