by Rachel Hanna
“It means I feel the same way, Tucker. I find myself wanting to spend every waking moment with you. And I don’t know how to handle this. I don’t know what to do…”
He brushed his thumb across her cheek. “You’re falling for me too?”
“Yes, and it’s irritating,” she said, groaning. Tucker laughed.
“I can imagine. You never expected this to happen, huh?”
She crossed her arms and sighed. “Why’d you have to be such a good guy and ride in on your white horse to save me at the bar that night?”
Tucker sat down on a log overlooking the river and patted for her to join him. She sat and leaned against him.
“Honestly, I wracked my brain for a long time trying to figure out why I swooped in like I did that night. I’ve never done anything like that before, but there was something in your eyes. Something that made me want to protect you. And that feeling hasn’t left yet, Sam.” He continued staring out at the water as it rushed by.
“I was so grateful, but I had this love hate thing going on with you at the time.”
“Love?”
“Just an expression. I didn’t love you then at all,” she said laughing. Then she froze. Oh no.
Tucker turned to her. “You love me now?”
“I didn’t say that,” she said, trying not to move like he wouldn’t notice her sitting there.
“Sam?”
She tilted her head up at him and met his eyes. “Fine. Yes. I think I love you. Dang it!”
She stood up and walked a few feet away, but he followed her as he always did.
“I love you too,” he whispered in her ear from behind as he slid his arms around her waist. She laid the back of her head against his chest.
“Tucker, this isn’t good. I can’t stay here. We both know that. And having a long distance relationship with my work schedule and your business… it just won’t work.”
He was quiet. “Do you think you’ll ever want a different life, Sam?”
She pulled away and turned to him. “Do you think you’ll ever want a different life, Tucker?”
He paused. “No.”
“Well, what makes you think I will?”
“I don’t know. I just get the feeling that you want more.”
“More doesn’t have to mean living in this quiet little town.”
“I thought you were starting to like it here?” He looked pained, as if she was ripping the rug right out from under him.
“I do like it here, Tucker. But I’d be in fantasy world to think I could ever build a business and a life here. I can’t just walk away and give up all that I’ve built these last few years. There are financial considerations…”
“Oh, well, I guess I know the priority now, right?” He turned and went back to grab his fishing pole and starting putting his gear away. Sam hadn’t seen him this upset before.
“Tucker, come on. We both knew this wouldn’t work. I mean, you knew that, right?”
“Then why kiss me like that?”
She sighed. “I don’t know. It was just a moment. I felt compelled…”
“Well, thanks for the moment.”
“Please don’t be like this.”
“Like what? Like I’m reliving my divorce all over again, but this time with a woman I love more than my next breath?”
“Your divorce? You can’t compare me to that woman!”
“Very similar situation, Sam.”
“No, it’s not. She was a self absorbed person who didn’t care about how you felt. That’s not what I’m doing, Tucker, and you know it. I have a life and a business. I can’t just drop it. How is that fair to me? Why can’t you just drop everything and move to the city? Work in an animal clinic downtown?”
“Because I’d be miserable.”
“So I’m the only one who should be miserable then?”
He closed the space between them and put his hands on her cheeks. “You need to ask yourself what really makes you happy, Sam. What really fuels your soul. What makes you wake up in the morning with a smile on your face. If it’s your business, then I can accept that. But if it’s me, then please think about this. I want you in my life, but I can’t get hurt like that all over again. I can’t do it.”
With that, he turned toward the truck, and Sam quietly followed behind him. Her life was a wreck.
Chapter 13
Sam sat at the coffee shop, hoping to goodness she didn’t see Clark or his peppy fiancee. She just didn’t have it in her today. She hadn’t spoken to Tucker in days, and Katie was due to arrive home in a couple of days. Then it would all be over.
Her brief love affair with Tucker.
Her down time.
Her peaceful little mountain excursion.
And she’d go back to her normal life. The pace would be hectic, no doubt. After missing so much work time, she dreaded sitting back behind her desk staring at contracts.
Samantha was taken aback at her own thoughts. She was dreading work?
It wasn’t really the work itself she was dreading as much as not having the time outside of work to have fun, be in love, feel peaceful.
As she sat there thinking about her time in Whiskey Ridge, she realized that she would actually miss the place. The people. The peace.
When she thought about her apartment in the city, and even her personal chef, it made her feel anxious. Nervous. A little queasy.
“What is wrong with me?” she mumbled under her breath.
“What was that, ma’am?”
An older gentleman had been sitting at the table beside her the whole time, but she hadn’t noticed him until now.
“Oh, nothing. I was just talking to myself,” she said, smiling slightly before turning back to her drink.
“Sounds like you’re having a rough day?”
It was obvious this man wasn’t going to stop talking to her, so she turned to face him. He was old, very old. Maybe pushing his nineties. He had a fluffy white beard like Santa Claus, and wore those little round glasses at the tip of his nose. Maybe he was Santa.
“I’m fine, really. Just fretting over some work stuff.”
“Oh? What kind of work do you do?”
“I’m an attorney. In Atlanta.”
“Oh my. Atlanta? Haven’t been there in years. Such a busy place.”
“Yes, it is. Pretty fast paced.”
“And how do you like your work?”
“I love my work.”
“Why?”
Why did old people like to talk so much? Maybe it was because they had more time to chat being retired and all.
“I love helping people, I guess.”
“Hmmm.”
“Hmmm?”
“I hear the words, but darlin’, it sure doesn’t sound like you mean them.”
She would normally be offended and put off by a strange man calling her “darlin’”, but the way he’d said it wasn’t like a put down. It was one of those requisite Southern terms of endearment.
Samantha thought for a moment before speaking. “Well, I’m kind of at a crossroads right now, I suppose.”
The man slid his chair closer and took a sip of his coffee. “Why’s that?”
“After being up here for a few weeks, I guess I find myself not wanting to leave, if that makes sense.” Why was she telling this stranger her innermost thoughts?
“Oh yes. Whiskey Ridge does have a way of doing that, I’m afraid. So why are you going back to Atlanta then?”
“Well, my life is there.”
“You have a husband?”
“No.”
“Kids then?”
“Not yet.”
“Then what’s drawing you back there?”
“My business. It’s thriving.”
“But are you thriving, hon?” The way he looked at her was so caring and concerned, like he really wanted to help her. It almost made her tear up.
“No, I’m not. I’m exhausted most of the time when I’m back there. I want to be this superw
oman, you know? I want to do it all.”
“What made you want to be a lawyer?”
“I wanted to help those who couldn’t help themselves. I wanted to make money too, of course. But lately the money doesn’t…”
“Keep you warm at night?”
She smiled. “That’s one way to put it.”
“Listen, I might be older than dirt now, and I’ve certainly already pulled a ticket in God’s waiting room, but I do like to think I know a thing or two about life. And what I know for sure is this. Money, and all that it can buy, will never be enough without true love in your life. When I asked if you had a husband and kids, well, your eyes almost started to water. And when I asked about your business, your face tightened with stress.”
“You have a love like that?”
“Oh, I did. For almost sixty years. She passed a couple of years ago. And I can tell ya from experience that there will never be a time that you wished you’d worked another day. But there will be a time that you wish you’d spent even another minute with your true love.”
Samantha’s eyes watered. “So what do I do? I have to make a living.”
“No, hon, you have to make a life.”
Samantha stood on the front porch and waved as her sister and Rick pulled up in the driveway. Katie was all smiles as she bounded out of the car and straight into her sister’s arms.
“Oh my gosh! I have so much to tell you! And I brought souvenirs from every country for you!”
“Welcome home to both of you! Sophie is dying to see you.”
They went inside as Rick unloaded the car. Katie grabbed her sister’s shoulders.
“Okay, spill it. What happened with Tucker after we talked? I’ve been dying to know.”
“We haven’t spoken in days now.”
Katie’s face fell. “What?”
Samantha explained what happened at the river. Katie sighed and hugged her sister.
“I’m so sorry, Sammy. You guys will mend fences.”
“I don’t know. But I have to head back to Atlanta in the morning regardless.”
“I’m going to miss you so much.”
“Listen, I need to call Eileen. She left me three voicemails. Mind if I step out on the deck?”
“Sure. Go ahead.”
Sam stepped outside and dialed her assistant’s number.
“Hello?”
“Boss! Dang, you’re a hard woman to track down lately. What gives?”
“I’ve just been a little busy late.”
“With what? Berry picking? Horseshoes?”
“Very funny. What’s up?”
Tucker didn’t want to go to the house, but he’d realized that he still had a pair of Sam’s boots in his truck after their river visit. He had to return them, especially since he knew she was leaving soon. Plus, if he was honest with himself, he needed to see her. Say goodbye. Maybe cling on to her pant leg and beg her to stay.
She was all he could think about. Visions of white picket fences had been dancing through his head for days. But he wasn’t doing this again. He wasn’t going to chase a woman who didn’t want him or a family life. His heart couldn’t take it.
As he drove up, he realized Katie and Rick were home, so he knocked on the door.
“Hey, Doctor Ellison,” Katie said as she opened the door, a look of surprise on her face. Sam had obviously told her everything.
“Hey. How was the honeymoon?”
“Fantastic!”
“Good. Listen, I just needed to drop off some boots your sister left in my truck. Is she around?”
“Sure. She’s out back. Rick and I will be in our room unpacking.”
“Okay,” he said, as he walked into the house. He saw her through the window, but she didn’t see him. She was on the phone, and he knew he shouldn’t have listened in, but he couldn’t help himself.
“So they want to sign a deal with me to be their sole representation then? How much? Oh my gosh, Eileen, that’s more than I make in a year now… Yeah, but the hours I’ll have to put in… I mean forget a social life, right?”
Tucker’s heart dropped. She was taking on even more work? It was obvious that she wasn’t interested in the life he wanted.
“When is the expiration date of their offer? Well, Al would have to take on some of my caseload, and the rest would have to be split among the other associates. I mean it could be done… I know, I know, it’s a great opportunity…”
Tucker wanted to run out of the house. How had he been so wrong about her? How had he let himself fall in love with an unavailable woman?
“I think I want to go with option one that we discussed. I know, Eileen. It’s a huge move and a big risk, but I feel like…”
Just then, Tucker dropped one of the boots, sending a loud noise straight from where he was standing right to Samantha’s ears. She turned with a start and almost dropped her phone, her eyes wide.
“Tucker? How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough.”
“Eileen, let me call you back later, okay?” She ended the call and looked at him. “Were you eavesdropping on my conversation?”
“I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“So that would be a yes?”
“I brought your boots,” he said, walking out onto the deck.
“Don’t dodge my question. Were you listening to my conversation, Tucker?”
“I may have heard part of it, but it was definitely enough.”
“I don’t think you understand…”
“Oh, I completely understand, Sam. I misread the situation between us and your feelings for me. I was just a convenient part of your plan to deceive Clark and Monica, and nothing more.” He started to walk down the stairs, but she followed him.
“You’re the one who came up with that plan, Tucker Ellison. Not me!”
He continued toward his truck. “Well, you sure went along with it. Gosh, how could I have been so stupid? The moment you got a chance at more money, you took it.”
She caught up to him at his truck. “It is my career, Tucker. You wouldn’t take an opportunity in your career if one came along?”
He turned and looked at her. She was so beautiful, and it made him want to grab her and kiss her again.
“I would never take an opportunity that would have taken me away from you, Sam. Simple as that. Good luck in Atlanta.”
He didn’t give her a moment to respond before climbing into his truck and driving away.
Tucker had regretted that moment for over three weeks now. From what Katie had told him, Samantha was already gone back to Atlanta. He couldn’t believe he’d left things on such a bad note.
He’d seen Clark around town during that time, which made him cringe. He’d done his best to still keep her secret, still protect her, although he didn’t know why.
She didn’t want him. She didn’t want the life he wanted. And that should have been okay. But it just wasn’t. Nothing felt right or worthwhile anymore. Dogs and cats could only provide so much joy. He wanted Sam. He needed her.
He’d thought a few times about driving to Atlanta and begging her to come back, but he wasn’t that guy. He wasn’t going to pressure her into doing something she didn’t really want.
Another part of him thought seriously about taking that leap of faith and moving to Atlanta to show her how much he loved her. But him being miserable would have made him a terrible partner for her. She deserved better.
So they were at a stalemate. Nothing had changed, and nothing ever would.
Maybe he’d see her again one day when she visited her sister. Maybe she’d sneak into town and sneak right back out, avoiding him and Clark both now.
“Can I help you?” the woman behind the counter asked. He was at old Mister Downs’ office to sign some final papers before construction of his home was to start. The home he’d dreamed Sam would live in one day.
“I’m here to sign some papers on my house,” Tucker said, his mood somber. If this was what
depression felt like, he never wanted to feel it again.
“Name?”
“Tucker Ellison.”
“Okay, hon. Let me go check and see if they’re ready for you.”
The woman walked through a door and he was left to his thoughts again. He’d been stuck in his thoughts for weeks now, trying in vain to come up with an answer. A solution. Some way to make this all better. There just wasn’t a way.
“Okay, he will see you now. Third door on the left is the conference room.”
Tucker walked down the hallway looking at how Mr. Downs had decorated over the years. It was pretty dated with wood paneled walls and a musty smell, but then again Mr. Downs was getting on up in years himself and probably wasn’t interested in redecorating.
“Tucker, old boy! Nice to see you again,” the old man said as he slapped Tucker on the arm with a thud. He had to be related to Santa Claus.
“Hey there, Mister Downs.”
“Listen, my hip is acting up something awful today. Do you mind if I let my associate handle this while I go take a nice, long soak in the tub at my house?”
Tucker cringed inside at the imagery of Santa Claus in the bathtub. He struggled not to shudder visibly.
“Um, sure. I didn’t actually know you had an associate.”
“Oh, yes. She’s a firecracker I met a few weeks back. Pretty girl, but don’t tell her I said that. It’s not politically correct to say these things in the workplace anymore, you know.”
“I know.”
“Ah, well, here’s your file. Go ahead and take a look, and she’ll be in shortly.”
“Thanks,” Tucker said, taking the file folder and sitting down at the long, wooden table. He stared at the words, his eyes blurry after a long day at work. He really just wanted to go home, eat a bag of chips and watch ridiculous TV for the rest of the night.
“Any questions?” he heard a voice say from the doorway. He looked up, believing his ears were deceiving him. Samantha was standing there, a smile on her face.
“Sam? What are you doing here?” He didn’t dare move, afraid she was some kind of delusion, and he liked this particular delusion.
“I’m here to go over your paperwork,” she said, sitting down at the end of the table next to him. “Now, this document states that…”