by Jon Robinson
Wee-Man
Kofi Kingston
Ever since the draft, I’ve been traveling with Hornswoggle. We were in New Orleans one time, and I actually got to the hotel first, but the garage was full so I had to park along the street. The next morning, I was walking with Hornswoggle out to the car, and when I go to put the bags in the trunk, I notice this guy with dreadlocks and gold teeth riding an old-school BMX bike. I look at him, and I see he’s staring at us, then all of a sudden he slams on the brakes. He’s looking at Hornswoggle, and we know he’s going to say something, then he starts yelling, “Hey, shorty, hey, shorty, I see you.” Then he called Hornswoggle Wee-Man. He thought Hornswoggle was Wee-Man from Jackass.
What’s funny is, we always call Hornswoggle Wee-Man because everyone always mistakes the two of them. Hornswoggle hates being called that. And now here is this guy with gold teeth riding a bike calling him Wee-Man first thing in the morning.
Then later that night, we went down to Café du Monde, which is this old French place in New Orleans, and one of the waiters was so sure he knew who we were. He wanted our autographs and everything, but he had no idea. He thought we were all the Jackass guys, and he thought Hornswoggle was Wee-Man. So he got called Wee-Man two times in less than twenty-four hours. Boy, was he mad.
Do You Work Out?
Beth Phoenix
To your average person, if they go on the road, they’re away from home. But the amount we travel, I would say that you have to adapt to the road so that it feels like home. So you start to pick up little habits and nuances so that you feel like you’re living a normal life on the road. You need to have a regimen so that you can feel normal anywhere you are on the road anywhere around the world. So for myself, in particular, a big part of my character and a big part of what I do is staying in shape. A lot of times, for me, the biggest challenge is actually just trying to find a gym or someplace to work out. I need more than a Curves, so most of the time I need to turn to the male Superstars to find the best places to work out. The type of training that I do is strength training and power lifting, so I need a serious gym. For the most part, that’s my focus when I get on the road. That’s how I find my sense of normalcy, through training. Constantly working out on the road is really the only way we can keep our bodies healthy—and eating, that’s a whole other issue when we’re on the road. You have to prepare yourself with healthy things to eat, you have to carry around healthy foods with you so you’re not stuck in Mobile, Alabama, somewhere and your only options are eating Ho Hos and Ding Dongs at the Kwik-E-Mart down the street.
What I’ve noticed is that everyone carries things with them to remind them of home. I know some of my friends on the road, some of the guys will set up their area in the locker room really meticulously, and they do this on a regular basis. They put their boots in a certain place every time, they have their bag open a certain way, and it’s their way to make their own special space in the locker room. It feels like your space because it’s your stuff and it’s set up the same way. It’s just another way to try and find that normalcy. Maybe when you’re home, the first thing you do is plop down on your couch. Well, when you get to your hotel, maybe you always plop down on your bed and turn on the TV or you set up your area in the locker room the same particular way just so you have that home away from home.
I know for me, though, on the road I’m all about business. I’m all about eating well, sleeping well, and training. That’s how I feel like I’ve kept myself healthy and strong. I don’t take shopping trips or do any of that girlie stuff on the road.
It’s funny, though, because since my character is very aggressive on the show and pretty mean, when I meet people I think they’re surprised I’m not trying to eat their face off. Obviously, unless I’m competing in the ring, I have no reason to stomp around and punch people. But for myself, personally, the single most annoying icebreaker line that I get all the time is, “Hey, do you work out?” I get this from men and women, mostly men, of course, and I get it constantly at the gym. I’ll be lifting heavy weights, and in the middle of my workout, someone will come over with the “Hey, do you work out?” line. They’ll be like, “Are you a bodybuilder or something?” I always want to say something like, “No, I’m a baker.” It’s just one of those things where you know people mean well, but it’s the silliest thing on earth to say. It’s actually become somewhat of a big joke to me now, just because I get it so much. So I take it with a grain of salt and politely explain to people what I do for a living. It’s so funny, though, because I can see people staring at me, and I can see them kind of start creeping over, and I already know what they’re going to say. And nine times out of ten, there it is, “Do you work out?”
On the flip side, it really means a lot to me when little kids come up to me and want to talk to me because that’s what I got in this business to do, to be an inspiration to the little guys. That’s what wrestling was for me growing up. It wasn’t just this great form of entertainment. I was really inspired to become a better person and to listen to the messages the Superstars said. It was also a time of great bonding for myself and my family when I was growing up, so for now, to be a part of that, and to be able to work for WWE and to have the honor and pleasure to see my picture on the side of the trucks when I drive up to the building . . . It never ceases to blow my mind to see my face on the back of the truck and working for WWE, when I used to have Stone Cold and Bret Hart and the British Bulldog and Lex Luger pictures plastered all over my walls as a kid. Now, here I am, I get to be one of those faces. It’s pretty incredible.
Get the Horns
R-Truth
I travel with a bunch of different people, sometimes Jimmy Wang Yang or Jeff Hardy, sometimes Shane Helms or Vladimir Kozlov. It alternates. But I remember one day a few of us were driving and I saw a cow on the side of the road. I made a comment to Brian Kendrick that if he pulled over, I would jump out and go ride that cow. He didn’t even need to think about it. Next thing I know, he pulls a U-turn in the middle of the street, and we’re headed back to the cow. So I had to do it now. Only thing is, when I got out of the car and started walking toward it, it turned around, and it wasn’t a cow . . . it was a bull! It started huffing at us and looking mean, so we all jumped back in the car and got out of there. That was one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen. I never thought I’d get that close to a bull.
When we left, Vladimir turned to me and said, “You picked the wrong target.”
JBL = Crazy
D’Lo Brown
I remember this one time I was in a car with Taka and Mark Henry. We were up in Newfoundland. It was around midnight, and we were making a two-hour drive between cities. All I remember about the road was that it was about as desolate a highway as you could find, and it was pitch black. I’m doing like 80 mph because I want to get to the hotel, then all of a sudden I get bumped. I look up in my mirror, and it’s Bradshaw, and he’s cackling in the driver’s seat, and sitting next to him is Ron Simmons. Taka was asleep in the back, and he bursts up, looks behind him to see Bradshaw, and yells, “Oh no, Bradshaw, that guy is crazy!” So now we’re at this high-speed run at about 110 mph, and Bradshaw is still bumping us from behind. Taka turned white as a sheet, Mark Henry is just sitting there laughing, and I’m panicking thinking we’re going to roll the car or smash into something. The funniest part of the whole race was Taka’s reaction. “Bradshaw, he’s crazy!” That’s all Taka kept saying, even when we finally made it back to the hotel. And he’s right, Bradshaw is crazy.
The Little Man Is a
Little (Lot) Weird
Tommy Dreamer
I was sharing a room with a guy, and he was single, and he ended up bringing a girl back to the room with him. We were also sharing a room with Hornswoggle at the time, but I got to the room first and just threw a bunch of pillows on the floor next to my bed and fell asleep before anyone else had gotten to the room. Anyway, this guy comes in the room with the girl, and they start “hanging out,” wh
en all of a sudden Hornswoggle popped up from underneath the bed. I never knew he was there, the other guy didn’t know he was there, and obviously the girl didn’t know he was there, so we all started screaming. And the way Hornswoggle popped up, it looked like he was coming from under the bed, just like he does when he’s hiding under the ring for one of our shows. He really scared the crap out of all of us.
But that’s not all. For some reason, maybe because he’s weird, Hornswoggle will get up in the middle of the night, take a pillow, and go sleep on the cold floor in the middle of the bathroom. He says he likes it really, really cold. So when I would get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I would see a dead little manatee on the floor, and it would be Hornswoggle, ’cause that’s what he looks like. There was even this one time when I went to go to the bathroom and Hornswoggle was asleep on the toilet bowl, ’cause he’s just a weird little man.
What a Drag
Maria
One time I got to the building early, so I figured I’d go sign some autographs. I put my bags down, because no one was around except for the guys driving the big WWE trucks. Unfortunately, the driver wanted to go and he didn’t see my luggage, so he backs over my luggage, and the fans are screaming, “He’s running over your luggage!” I turn around, and my bags are getting dragged down the street by the truck. Thank God my dog wasn’t with me or that would’ve been a whole other problem. I probably would’ve killed the guy. Luckily, I left my dog home that trip so he avoided getting run over by our huge semi.
Wrestling’s Number-One
Sports Fan
MVP
One of the toughest parts about being on the road so much is trying to keep up with the scores of my favorite sports teams. I’m a lifelong Raiders fan. It breaks my heart the way they’ve been playing, but I bleed silver and black. And oddly enough, growing up in Miami when Miami didn’t have a baseball team or a basketball team or a hockey team, I ended up becoming a fan of all the New York teams because when we got cable TV, we ended up getting all of New York’s programming. My mom’s friend’s husband used to sit me on the couch back when I was in second grade, and we’d watch the Yankees, the Rangers, and the Knicks. And my teams have been my teams since I was little. I’m not a bandwagon fan. I stay true to my teams, and you can tell that just by the fact that I’m a Raiders fan and a Knicks fan at the same time. It’s torture. Another team I’m really into is Manchester United of the English Premier League. I get a lot of flak for that because Manchester United is like the Yankees of the English Premier League. People in Manchester don’t even root for Manchester United. I even came out on Raw one night with a Manchester United jersey on. I got into a little trouble for that, but they’re my team.
So while I’m on the road, I have constant score updates on my BlackBerry, then when I get to the hotel I’ll catch the highlights on ESPN. I’m constantly pulling up scores and highlights online. And in terms of college sports, I’m a die-hard Miami Hurricanes fan . . . I see a national title in our future.
But man, back to the Raiders, Rey Mysterio and I always have our friendly wagers, because he’s a big Chargers fan and the Raiders play the Chargers twice a year. But because the Raiders have been so bad for so long now, I’m so far in the hole to him, I don’t think I can ever get out. We usually bet a hundred bucks a game. Lucky we only play twice a year. We’re so bad I can’t even talk trash. I just hand him my money. I wouldn’t even mind losing if the Raiders played tough like the old days. Maybe they’d lose, but people at least feared them. They lost that mystique a long time ago. I don’t think the Raiders will rise again until Al Davis dies. It’s sad to say, but it’s the truth.
Will the Real Rey Please
Stand Up?
Rey Mysterio
I always put my mask on about half a block before I pull up to the building. That way, when I drive up to the arena, I have my mask on. Just recently, though, we were wrestling at a casino and I was the last guy to leave the building. I was by myself that day, and I walked out without my mask on, put my bags in the car, and I heard some fans out there who were yelling, “Rey! Rey! Please sign!” So I walked over and signed autographs for everybody, and eventually I ran into this little boy whose parents were there and they asked me if I could take a picture with their son. I was like, “Yeah, no problem.” But this kid, he was looking at me strange, and he just kept saying, “No, that’s not Rey. That’s not Rey.” So I showed him my tattoos, and usually kids will figure out who I am by my tattoos, but this boy, he still didn’t believe me. He was pleading, “This isn’t Rey. I want Rey with the mask.” So I walked back to my car, put my mask on, and came back out to take a picture with him. I took the picture, signed some more autographs, and I could see him staring at me. He still couldn’t decide whether he believed it was me or not. His parents were trying to convince him the whole time and I stayed to talk to him for a bit and I think finally he came around, but it was funny how this kid just kept saying, “No, that’s not him. I’m not taking a picture with this guy. I want a picture with Rey.”
Punch Heard ’Round the
Amusement Park
Cody Rhodes
I’ve known Santino Marella since we came up together in OVW in Louisville, Kentucky. One day, back when we were in Louisville, we decided to talk our wrestling trainers into letting us go to Six Flags. It should have been no big deal. We had been training hard. I had been on the road to a couple of different live events and showed my skills or what have you . . . I showed what I had to the WWE’s top brass. We were all vying for that spot, and we wanted to go out and have some fun.
So we approached our trainers with the premise that we were all going to be on our best behavior. This rowdy bunch of pro wrestlers just wasn’t going to act like that at the park. We were all going to maintain, have a good time, ride some rides, and eat some junk food. Again, we were all working hard and we needed a day off.
So when we go and get our tickets, we have this meeting about being on our best behavior. And I have to emphasize, we had more than one meeting about this. When we were back at the OVW building, we had a meeting about being on our best behavior. When we got to the park, we are told to be on our best behavior. They couldn’t have emphasized the importance of this any more.
But then we get to the park.
Not eleven seconds into being in the park, I turn around and I see the Tasmanian Devil character from the WB, and it’s clawing in the air, waving its hands around. Then I see the handler, another park employee, just screaming at Santino Marella.
Turns out Santino got a little excited when he walked in, and he decided to give the Tasmanian Devil a one-two punch right in the mask. Here’s the best part: As our trainers are walking in our direction, I know we’re all in trouble, and Santino is trying to talk his way out of it, but then the Tasmanian Devil lifts off its head and it’s a little girl inside. Not like ten years old, she was probably like fourteen, fifteen . . . whatever the minimum age for a park employee to work there. And she just had tears streaming down her face.
I’ve never seen a bigger look of disappointment in anyone’s face as the look I saw from Santino. It was really the funniest thing I can recall. He was quarantined to the wave pool the rest of the day. He sat there the entire day with the boo-hoo face of all boo-hoo faces.
Eight
Back in the Day
“There were times I wrestled in front of twelve or fifteen people, but I performed like I was in front of fifty thousand people.”
—REY MYSTERIO
Think spiders crawling in your bed, rental cars spinning into ditches, and hotel keys hitting you in the eye are bad? That’s nothing compared to what it took these Superstars to actually make it to the top. From performing in barns and high-school gymnasiums to getting excited when there were two hundred people in the crowd to lying about your age just so you could sneak into a bar to perfect your craft in front of a smattering of drunks, the following are a few stories from life on the road bef
ore the Superstars became household names. This is what paying your dues is all about.
Brining Home the Bacon
Christian
I know when I was coming up, Owen Hart helped me out and took me under his wing. I lived in Canada at the time and he lived in Calgary, so a lot of times he would have to connect in Toronto, so we would end up on the same flights from Toronto and we’d sit next to each other and talk a lot. He would teach me a lot about the road and little tricks on how to make life easier when we travel. It meant a lot to me when I first got with the company for a guy like Owen to sit down and help me out like he did.
It’s crazy though, because when I was first starting out on the Independents, you never knew what to expect. You might have a two-hour drive and end up wrestling in front of fifty people. If you’re lucky, you’re wrestling in front of six hundred people. At the same time, you’re not making any money, so you’re sharing a hotel room with five or six other guys. You’re squished into somebody’s car and you’re just trying to save enough money to eat. That’s what changes when you get to WWE. Now you’re flying most places and you can afford a nice rental car, a nice hotel, and a nice meal.
I wrestled once inside a barn in Tennessee in front of like fifteen people. The guy who ran the show, it was inside his dad’s barn, and I remember during the middle of the show, his dad came home with groceries and was walking through the crowd with groceries under his arms, shoving through people to get to his house that was attached to the barn. He was trying to put his groceries away while the match was going on. It was pretty funny.
Keep Your Mask On
Rey Mysterio
My first road trips were from San Diego to L.A. at the age of fourteen. Back then, I had to wear my mask because we would wrestle in bars and they would sneak me in through the back because I was underage. They would tell me, “Rey, put your mask on and don’t take it off. Keep your mask on at all times, and if someone asks, tell them you’re just a short wrestler or a midget.” Whatever I did, I couldn’t take my mask off. Back then it was a trip, because here I was sneaking into bars and I was wrestling guys twice my age.