Before We Fractured: Books 1-3

by Bradon Nave

  She sat on the edge of my bed while I sprawled out, looking toward the ceiling—tossing a baseball in the air and catching it.

  “You know, D…I understand that this must be torture. You don’t have any clue what Jessie is doing or where he is or why he did what he did. If you need to talk to me, I’m here. I’m here now.”

  “I know, Mom.”

  “Things change in our lives sometimes, D. Things change and sometimes really fast. So fast that we don’t know how to deal with them. It’s just important to keep our chin up and keep trucking forward—”

  “Would you seriously just shut the hell up, Mom?” As I rolled to my side I looked toward my shocked mother. “Are you serious right now? You’re gonna talk to me about some shit changing too fast to deal with?”

  “Duke.”

  “Nah, Mom. Let’s just put this into perspective. Let’s talk about things changing too fast to deal with. Jess and Cory’s mom died. You know how much I loved that woman. But just like everyone else, I dealt with it. Cory…Cory died. You know how much I loved Cory, but I dealt with it. My dad left me because he had too much going on to have a family. Well guess what…the sonofabitch has a brand-new family. I’m dealing with it. My senior year, supposed to be the best year of my life—crock of shit that is, my mom all but moves out and in with her boyfriend while I stay alone in this damn lonely-ass house every freakin’ night!”

  “Duke—”

  “And then the best of all.” My voice cracking, I could feel tears of rage building behind my eyes. “When my best friend…my brother, can’t handle the bullshit and stress that this life has thrown at him, not a one of the idiot adults in our life gives him the benefit of the doubt! You ever ask yourself why or how Jessie got where he is? He’s not the only kid to lose someone. Had he had responsible adults in his life that actually took the proper steps to make sure the dude got the help he needed, maybe he wouldn’t have the issues he has now. But hell no, he didn’t. And now, you, and even his own father, are just gonna lose any faith in him when he needs you the most? You really are pathetic!”

  “That’s enough, D.” Larry’s voice cut through my room as he looked down on me from my doorway.

  “Piss-off, dingle-Larry.”

  “Duke…I’ll stay here every night! I’m here now.” My mother’s hand grabbed my arm as tears streaked down her face.

  “Uh…okay. You can stay here, Mom. But I’m not. I’ll be working to prove Jess isn’t the lunatic you assholes are making him out to be.”

  “I don’t think that’s the best idea, Duke. Let the authorities handle—”

  “I don’t give a damn what you think, Larry. And screw the authorities. Last I checked they had that guy figured for a psycho too. And in I’m six foot two and two hundred pounds. Do you really think you can stop me? Nah, so shut the hell up.”

  “Duke! Don’t speak to him that way! You’re angry, but you’re not angry at him.”

  “I’m mad at all of you! You, him, Joe, Kacey’s mom—all of you. You’re all just sitting here chalking the situation up to the fact that Jessie’s lost his freakin’ mind and it’s not fair!”

  My heart was beating as fast as it did when I went running. Yelling at my mom and dingle-Larry was damn good cardio. The buzzing from my phone was a welcome reprieve.

  “Lily?”

  “Hey. I walked in the front door and right back out.”

  “Sorry about that. It cool with your mom if I just crash at your place?”

  “Totally. I’ll text her and tell her to fix some supper.”

  “I’ll be right down.”

  Hanging up the phone, I scooted off the bed—past my mom.

  “Please don’t leave like this.” Her cracking, high-pitched voice stopped me in my tracks.

  “I’m staying at Lily’s, Mom.”

  “I know. Can I please have a kiss?”

  Her request got me in the feels. Yeah, she pissed me the hell off, but she’s still my momma. I love her more than life.

  “Don’t cry, Momma.”

  “I’m sorry, D. I hate…I hate sleeping in that bed alone…and you seemed to dislike it when

  Larry stayed here so I just…I just…I’m sorry.”

  “Come here, Mom.”

  Hugging my mom, I kinda regretted being a douche to Larry too. He was cool guy for the most part. I kissed my mom on the cheek and walked to him.

  “My bad, dingle-Larry.”

  “We’re cool.”

  ***

  “Your mom got me set up on the couch?”

  “Nah, fool. She hasn’t mentioned it. It’s not like she doesn’t know we’re sleeping together.

  She usually goes with me to get my birth control pills.”

  “Ha…there wouldn’t be any of that anyways. Too much going on for that.”

  “I know. But you need a good night’s rest and the couch is not the place to get that.”

  “I’m so worried, Lily. It’s been twenty-four hours. Why hasn’t he tried to call? He’s gotta know how messed up this bullshit’s got us.”

  “I know, D.”

  Parked in front of Lily’s house, I continuously felt a strange flutter sensation in my chest. It came on every few minutes—especially when the facts trampled through my head. “Listen…D…Sarah is going to come over tonight. She wants to do some investigation.”

  “Huh?”

  “She wants to go snoop around Patrick Cline’s office.”

  “What? Lily, no. That’s insane.”

  “Is it? Duke, the police aren’t even at the office anymore. Sarah said they weren’t there all afternoon. She said she hasn’t even seen them at Dr. Cline’s house.”

  “She knows where he lives?”

  “Yeah, he lives like four streets over from her.”

  “What the hell? Why aren’t they looking through this guy’s shit?”

  “Because, Duke. They’re not investigating Dr. Cline…they’re investigating Jessie.”

  “That’s so stupid…they have to know there’s so much more to it.”

  “We know that because we know Jessie. All they see is a kid with mental baggage that finally snapped. That’s why Sarah wants to go snoop around.”

  Lily’s hand rested on my shoulder. I was becoming increasingly thankful to have her in my life.

  “If they aren’t going to find out what actually happened, then we need to start looking into it.

  Otherwise we’re just sitting around waiting on communication that clearly isn’t happening.”

  “You’re right, Lil. You’re so right. We can’t get caught.”

  “Really? We were totally hoping to get caught.”

  “Don’t be mean.”

  “Ha. Let’s go in. Mom should have our sandwiches about ready.”

  “I can’t eat. My nerves—”

  “Sshh…you’re no good in the field without proper fuel, soldier.”

  “Oh my god, you’re a dork.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  Sarah was okay. After Lily and I made it official, Sarah stopped cutting me off mid-sentence and rolling her eyes at me so much. I guess she was just looking out for her girl but she really couldn’t say much after the history between her and Cory.

  Cory had it bad for that girl. I remember watching him walk down the hall just after practice one afternoon. It was like I was watching some low-budget teen movie. Literally every girl in the hall stopped what she was doing to either smile, say hello, or wait till he walked by so they could check out the goods. He could have picked any one of them but he always walked right to Sarah. Not that she’s not beautiful or anything…she just never really seemed to act like Cory was a priority. Who knows…maybe that’s what drew him to her—that, want what you can’t have, type of shit. He’d carry her books and bring her Starbucks in the morning. I never thought he sealed the deal. That was until Sarah told Jess that she and Cory hooked up. And then she tried to blow Jess and compared his junk to Cory’s…who does that? No guy wants to hear that, ev
en if their brother is alive. Oh well…Cory was cool with her when he left us, and Jessie is cool with her now. She’s here at Lily’s about to take us on some scavenger hunt for clues—Scooby Doo style…I guess I’m cool with her too.

  “’Bout ready, Captain D?” Lily’s question was asked in a military monotone. Standing behind me, I turned to her and booped her nose.

  “You need help, Lils.”

  The three of us quietly stepped onto Lily’s porch as Sarah turned to face us.

  “Listen, both of you. We can’t tell anybody about this. I’m serious. We can’t say a word at school to anyone.”

  “Um…I’m pretty sure the only people I talk to from that school are you two girls and Jess and Kacey.” Hugging Lily from behind, I heard her give an exaggerated laugh.

  “Duke…boy, if you’re not mister popularity…”

  “Really, Lily? Mister popularity? What is this, nineteen eighty-six? I only really talk to you and Jess.”

  Sarah turned from us and began walking from the porch to her vehicle.

  “Okay then, D. I guess she’s ready to go.”

  ***

  Avoiding the security cameras, we parked in the back of the office building in the alley way. There was no solidified plan. We were simply snooping. I was aware this was little more than a way for us to feel like we were actually doing something rather than sitting around and waiting a news.

  “Let’s go.” Sarah’s command was chipper and demanding at the same time. I kinda liked it. Exiting her vehicle, we made our way down the back of the L-shaped building. “I think this is his office here.” Sarah pointed at a small window about five feet off the ground.

  “We won’t be able to tell. That dude always had his windows covered up.”

  “No shit, Duke. He’s a psychiatrist. He can’t have people looking in while he’s talking to patients.”

  “Damn, Sarah. Okay.”

  Unable to open the window, I walked to the dumpster, flinging the large lid open. “I wonder if this is where they found their phones.”

  “Who cares? Be quiet and start looking for files or anything else we could use.” Sarah’s snappy-ass attitude had me wishing I’d just stayed at Lily’s.

  “Hey, Sarah…how about stop being such a bitch to my boyfriend? Mmmkay? Okay.” Sarah instantly looked toward Lily, possibly hoping for a sign of sarcasm. Lily didn’t glance in her direction.

  “You two are sensitive this evening.” Rolling her eyes, Sarah climbed into the dumpster.

  Searching through bags of trash, I almost admired her ambition. She seemed to legitimately care about Jess.

  “I’m not sure what we’re going to find in there, Sarah. Maybe one of the other windows are open or something.”

  “Right, Lily…but what if there’s an alarm on it? Not only would we get busted for breaking into Dr. Cline’s office but we’d get busted for going into that office too.”

  “We could just bust out Cline’s window…” My comment had both the girls staring at me like I was a lunatic.

  “Shit…headlights.” Sarah’s whisper had me not wanting to turn around. She leapt from the dumpster and we hastily made our way toward her running car.

  “That’s…that’s Kacey’s mom’s car.” Lily seemed almost happy as Sarah and I climbed in her car…but Lily walked to the approaching vehicle.

  “Duke…what the hell is she doing?”

  I turned to see her initiating a conversation with the driver of the vehicle. “Not sure. Can you turn on the heater?”

  “So annoying.”

  “My bad…I’m cold.”

  Sarah said nothing as she turned the heater on.

  “Do you just hate me or something?”

  “What? No. But with the heater going I can’t hear what they’re talking about.”

  “Well it’s not like she won’t tell us as soon as she gets back inside. You just act like you’re pissed at me or some shit.”

  Turning to me from the front seat, Sarah offered a sarcastic smile. “I’m learning to like you,

  Duke.”

  “Oh. Okay then.”

  Sarah’s smile turned into something more intense. Something with anger to it. “You literally hooked up with anything that would give you a second glance last year. I don’t think there’s a single slut at school you haven’t been in. Now you’re dating my best friend…but only after you dragged her around for a good three months. You’re just…gross.”

  Her words got me. I guess with everything else going on, the conversation got to me. Folding my arms, I looked away from her and out the window from the backseat.

  Sarah continued looking at me in the silent car. I was hoping Lily would hurry the hell up so we could go.

  “Duke. That was…I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “Just telling me how you feel. It’s cool.” My voice was low—I failed to make eye contact with her.

  “I just. Put yourself in my place. You objectify these girls I go to school with and then you start dating my friend—”

  “Sarah, I’m not sure where you got your information from but I haven’t objectified anyone. A little play after games, sure, but I wasn’t the one instigating it. And I’ve only been in three girls total my entire life. And they’re not sluts; I’m pretty sure I’m friends with them. Go ask them how objectified they feel. You can ask Lily when she comes back…she’s one of the three.”

  “Um…whoa. Too much info, Duke.”

  “Not really. If you’re gonna believe all the bullshit you hear, I have the right to provide the facts and defend myself. We both know the only reason you don’t like me is because I hooked up with Tamara.”

  “Um, no.”

  “Um, yeah. She hooked up with Cory and that’s the only reason you hate her.”

  “No. I hate her because she has no self-respect and she’s blown most the guys in our class.”

  “Right…and I’ve slept with every slut at school. Must be nice to know every detail about all your classmate’s lives, Sarah.”

  “I’m done with this conversation, Duke.”

  “I was done the second you said you were learning to like me. I’ve got enough to deal with and worry about right now. I can’t waste my time trying to smooth things over with someone who hates me over bullshit rumors.”

  “I don’t hate you. I never said I hated you.”

  “Nah…I’m just gross.”

  “Okay! I’m sorry. I’m just looking out for Lily.”

  “I get that. But most friends wait until after the crime to draw blood.” My comment was coupled with a smile.

  “Right…right. I get it. You’re not gross.”

  Turning in my seat, I looked to see Lily still talking to the driver of the vehicle.

  “You really like her, Duke?”

  “I do.”

  “Good. Then can we pretend this conversation didn’t happen?”

  “Nope…but we can put it behind us.”

  “That’ll work. You gonna tell Lily I was a bitch to you?”

  Smiling at Sarah I shook my head. “Nah, she might be the one drawing blood then.” Opening the door, Lily jumped in the passenger seat. “Holy shit, okay so new plan.”

  “What do you mean, new plan?” My hasty enquiry had me leaning into the passenger seat.

  “Was that Kacey’s mom? Why is she here?”

  “Nope. That was that Andrea lady from the police station.”

  “What’s she doing here?”

  “Same thing we are.” Lily’s smirk had my mind rolling.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Duke…she has the keys to Dr. Cline’s office. Kacey’s mom gave her the spare key. She’s going in to look around. She thinks there’s more to it too.”

  “What? Are we going in too?” Sarah’s question sent my heart racing—like we were already in trouble or something.

  “No…we’re not. She asked us to leave but gave me her number in case we hear from them or hear of anything else. I’m going to
call her tomorrow. We’ll know if she found anything tomorrow.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Buzzing near my head on the window sill. I was disappointed to look at my phone and see it was only my alarm telling me to get my ass out of bed rather than a call with information.

  Looking around Lily’s room, I was even more disappointed to find she wasn’t still in bed.

  Instantly I began checking messages and texts to see if anyone had tried to get a hold of me—nothing. Then I remembered Lily would be calling that Andrea woman today. Maybe she found something out. Jumping out of bed, I ran through Lily’s bedroom door and down the hall. She and her mom were standing in the kitchen, sipping tea or coffee.

  “Morning, D.”

  “Hey, Lil.” I wanted to cut past the small talk and ask. Her mother’s gaze followed me as I walked into the kitchen.

  “Did you sleep okay, young man?”

  “Yes ma’am. As good as can be expected. I appreciate you letting me stay here last night.”

  “Don’t mention it. Will you be staying tonight?”

  “Um…nah. Probably not. I need to go home and shower for school.”

  “You dumbass…it’s Sunday. We don’t have school. That’s why I let you sleep in.” Lily smiled as she walked to me—wrapping her arms around me.

  “What?”

  “You need to slow down, boy. Mom cooked us breakfast.”

  “Oh…it is Sunday. That’s crazy. Have…have you heard anything?” My eyes scanned her face as she looked up to me.

  “She didn’t find anything.” Lily’s low response assured me she didn’t want her mother knowing what we’d been up to.

  “Kids…I’m going up to the office to finalize some charts. Duke, you are more than welcome to stay if you need.”

  “Thank you, ma’am.”