“That’s enough, man.’’
“He—''
“No!’’ Ralph’s voice rose, and a cat in the distance squeaked. His bleached mohawk seemed to be lit up under the glare of the city light, contrasting harshly against his dark hair on either side of his scalp. “I know you, and you’re not goin’ to do that same fuckin’ thin’ again. Not this time.’’ He slurred and scraped his face with his hand, visibly tired. “Go home, Wyatt, and forget 'bout this.’’
“Forget.’’ Wyatt laughed without humor. It raised the hair on the back of my neck. He turned away from his best friend; eyes lost up the street. “It’s so easy to say. That shit isn’t going to go away.’’
Ralph sighed. “Yeah, but you don’t have to always think ‘bout it. You’re twenty-four, for fuck sake!’’
I shuffled closer, unsure of what’s going on and while a part of me was curious and I desired to know more, the bigger part of me wanted to shower this strange night off of me.
In a way, I couldn’t help but think that maybe this showdown between Wyatt and that guy was to prevent me from doing something I’d regret, something that would probably hurt me. At the party, Wyatt had me under his spell, bound by lust. At that moment, nothing else had mattered but the way my body reacted to him and how hot he was.
“I… Guys, I think I should go home now.’’ My voice was soft, almost childlike.
Wyatt’s eyes found mine and my mouth dried up. He didn’t just look like a pissed off man, as I expected. He also looked like a tormented man, on the brink of drowning without any help nearby to catch him and bring him back to land. He’s drifting, right before me.
His dark eyes had lost that bright light, sometimes too hot and hard to handle. Instead, they’re full of fear and were too wide for someone like him. It’s the look I’d expect from a young boy afraid of the dark or who would have woken up after a nightmare.
His mouth was nothing but a straight line, almost white from pressing his lips so tight against one another. I was sure that without the beard, I’d see lines marring his face, lines only created by torment and ghosting memories that should be left alone.
Now that I’ve had a look at him, I wasn’t sure I could leave. Not when he had such a look on his face that was so foreign to the idea I had of this man.
I made a move to get closer to him and put a hand on his bulging bicep. His arm was hard under my fingers, but I underneath his built and apparent strength, I perceived the tremble in his body, almost like a vibration.
“Wyatt?’’ I asked, unsure of what I was asking or what I expected him to say. Sometimes in life, you’re at a crossroad. You felt it to the deepest part of you. It’s scary and also a bit thrilling, but mostly, it made you feel lost. Right now, I felt that the choice we’re going to make was going to affect a lot more than what I could think. It went beyond the mess it’d potentially create if Wyatt and I slept together because then it’d only be ruled by pure lust, nothing digging deeper than that. But now that I had a glimpse into who Wyatt was…
“Alright, you two,’’ Ralph slurred again, but I didn’t look away from Wyatt, and he didn’t either. “I’m out. Call me tomorrow, asshole, okay?’’
“Yeah, alright. Thanks, man.’’
Ralph hummed and walked away, his footsteps fading into the city noise until we were left alone in the dark and eyes locked.
“What was that back there?’’
He cringed, and when I was sure he’s about to break eye contact, he did the exact opposite. He came closer and put a hand on my hip. His big fingers splayed on my body as if he’s trying to get the best grip on me to keep me there.
“A piece of my past haunting me and it’s not the ugliest,’’ he rasped then cleared his throat when his voice broke. He sounded so raw it’s hard for me to keep my heartstrings from tightening painfully around my beating organ. “Scared yet?’’
“Scared?’’ I shook my head and slid my hand from his arm to his shoulder. “No. It raises questions, though.’’
The lost look on his face was immediately gone, just like he’s flipped a switch and he’s back to a blank face. It’s surprising how someone in emotional distress could push everything back. I wondered how often he’s had to do it in his life.
“It’s none of your business.’’
His voice bit, but I didn’t recoil. I stayed put, eyes in his.
“That’s why I’m not asking anything.’’
He nodded and cleared his throat. He squeezed my hip, and I swore I thought it’s a way of silently saying ‘thank you.’ “What now? I bet you’re not in the mood to go back to my place.’’
“Something tells me you’re not in the mood for that either.’’ He went to say something, probably to mask how shaken he still was, but I stopped him before he opened his mouth. “And I think it’s best if we don’t go there. I mean,’’ I pulled away and looked down at his trusty chucks, a bit dirtier than the last time I had seen him. “Sleeping together would be a mistake.’’
“You weren’t thinking that at the party, babe,’’ he drawled with his sexy voice, his hand now roaming my side, tantalizing me with the idea of this massive hand on my breast. But he kept himself to my ribcage and my hip, his fingers brushing the top of my ass every once in a while.
“Stop.’’ I pulled away and ignored the pang of regret that hit me. “I don’t think—"
He closed the space between us again and cupped my face in his hands. They engulfed me, bracketing me in everything he was that was overwhelming and thrilling, with the edge of danger for myself ever-present. His dark eyes were intense, burning. It’s impossible to look away even if he’d let me.
There’s still a faint trace of beer on his breath, but his smell was what I mostly breathed. It’s oddly comforting, something that shouldn’t and couldn’t qualify this man that wreaked havoc in everything that I was and made of.
“Sex isn’t about thinking, babe. It’s about need, want.’’ He pressed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes, his eyebrows bunching as if he’s in pain. “It’s about forgetting everything but the other person with you and bursting with everything that you fucking are. Thinking? It’s what ruins sex.’’
“Wyatt…’’ I trailed off, not sure what I wanted to say. Blood buzzed in my ears while my heart sprinted like every time I was close to Wyatt.
“You want me, babe.’’
“And I hate you.’’
“Yeah. Back at you.’’ I saw a smirk stretching the left side of his mouth. I both wanted to wipe it off his smug face and kiss that mouth until I didn’t remember who he was and how ambivalent I felt about him. “My place is two blocks this way.’’ He pointed over his shoulder without looking.
Two blocks? Only two blocks away?
I sagged against him and closed my eyes. A small part of me was pissed to be weak to his charm, but it’s so small that it’s pushed to the far back by the growing lust inside me and the excitement of what’s to come that I didn’t dwell on it.
I knew he was going to use me to forget what happened at the party and I knew I’d probably be hurt once it’s all said and done, but we’re all entitled to make mistakes.
It wasn’t important anyway. It’s just sex. Come tomorrow I’d put this night behind me and move on with my life and let the Burton family as a whole in the past and away from me.
One look in my eyes and he knew the decision was made. His smirk changed into a smile, and it heated up my stomach and made me need to fidget. He knew it, of course, he knew. A man like him must know exactly what kind of effects he had on women, and I wasn’t immune. There’s no reason to pretend otherwise when we’re about to get very well acquainted real soon.
***
MARISSA
His place looked empty and spartan. I glanced around and took a deep breath. There’s a distinctive smell in here, something chemical I couldn’t place. I looked at him as he locked the door and took off his jacket to hang it.
“Sorry. I forgot t
o tell you it’s still a mess here. I had the place remodeled a few weeks ago, and the paint smell is still there. I still need to get my furniture back from the storage unit.’’ He scratched at his beard and shrugged as his eyes took in the lone couch, the small coffee table and the TV in the living room. These were the only items in here. The open floor kitchen seemed more lived in with the dirty plates from the day in the sink and the empty mug on the counter next to a mixer I was sure he used to make those smoothies gym rats loved so much.
Wyatt’s apartment while bare was nice. One wall was painted a very light brown while the other walls were a stark white. The kitchen was a blend of white and darker brown that managed to be both modern and elegant in a very masculine way. Once it’s furnished, the place was going to be stunning.
On the other side of the apartment, there’s a short hall leading to closed doors. I counted three doors, so it’s probably a two-bedroom apartment with a bathroom. This place was a lot nicer and bigger than I expected. He’s only twenty-four, and he worked at the gym. How come he had such a place?
As if reading my mind, he put a hand on the small of my back. It drew out a shiver that coursed through my body. “I inherited this apartment last year from my grandfather.’’ I blinked and looked at him, a question in my eyes. He shook his head and sighed. “No, not from my biological family. My adoptive father’s father died last year from a heart attack. He gave me this apartment and made a small trust for Ava to get for college if she decides to go or to touch on her twenty-first birthday otherwise. He was a good man.’’
Sadness dulled his eyes. He cleared his throat when the silence stretched, and he pushed everything away, again hiding his emotions. His eyes traveled from my face to my cleavage.
“When you look at me like that it makes me feel like you’re about to devour me,’’ I whispered, voice thick as desire pooled in me. I pressed my thighs together, bothered by the lust growing so quickly without more than a look.
He chuckled and locked eyes with me. His eyes were hooded. He licked his lip and tilted his head to one side. “Oh but I intend to, babe.’’
I gasped at his rough voice and the potent lust in his words. But it’s nothing compared to when Wyatt swaggered to me, his gait sure and predatory. Instead of looking for a way out as any prey would, I stayed there, eyes drinking him in until he reached me and attacked my mouth. I had to close my eyes and surrender.
There’s no second thought.
There’s no doubt.
There’s no question.
Only pleasure and desire were left in me along with shivers gathering deep inside where I ached for him.
His lips were demanding, not asking for me to open my mouth, but ordering me to and I complied with a breathless moan lost in his mouth as his tongue met mine. His beard rasped on my skin, scratching me raw just like I felt upon kissing this unbridled man.
He overpowered me in such a way I felt petite and fragile in the best of ways as his big arms wrapped around me, pushing me against him until his thick erection pressed into me. I went on my tiptoes, needing to feel it lower. I needed relief, something. Anything.
He rolled his hips into me and broke the kiss, groaning into my ear. The sound, so intimate, had me clutching onto his broad shoulders. It reached inside and made everything flutter until my panties were soaked.
“Wyatt,’’ I mumbled in the crook of his neck, running my nose against his flesh and breathing in his scent, so male in its essence.
He placed kisses on my bare shoulder, up my neck, behind my ear and I couldn’t control my body’s response. I trembled and pushed my hips into him again and again, earning a few more choked sounds from low in his throat.
“You’re so fucking hot right now. You know that?’’ Wyatt whispered in my ear, sucking on my earlobe and nibbling it until I quietly moaned into his chest. “Yeah, babe. The way you move, the sounds you make and how you shake in my arms… I bet you’re dripping wet.’’
I couldn’t utter a single word. All I wanted was to taste his skin, bask in him.
I leaned closer to him, my nose sliding along the side of his neck until I gently nipped right under his ear. His hands tensed on me, holding me tighter. I licked him, just a quick flick of my tongue that ended with a kiss.
We’re both breathing loud and fast in the quiet apartment. Wyatt’s exhalations, the need for me I perceived vibrating in him had me more turned on than I’d ever been. And all I wanted now was falling apart in his arms. The rest be damned. I’d have plenty of time to regret everything later. Right now…
“Bedroom,’’ I whispered in a voice I barely recognized as my own.
He groaned into my ear. “Hold onto me, babe.’’
I hardly had time to register what he’s saying that I left the ground and ended up in his arms, legs crossed around his waist, arms around his neck and hands lost in his thick hair. He started walking, eyes never leaving mine. Somehow, it made me weak at the knees, this intimacy. A tremor ran through me and this time around I understood it wasn’t lust induced. Emotions crept in, emotions I didn’t want to feel, that had nothing to do with here and now.
Wyatt and I were into each other physically, but it didn’t go beyond that. I knew it. But there’s something about this man that had me looking twice at him, looking deeper because there’s a lot under that insufferable asshole exterior.
He kicked a door open, and it crashed into the wall, startling me and breaking the intense eye contact. I couldn’t see much in the room, not until he put me down, making sure my body slid along him, so I felt him everywhere, every hard ridge, every long inch of his cock so hard and ready it’s a wonder he hadn’t pushed me against a wall yet. He switched the ceiling light on.
I briefly closed my eyes at the change in lighting, but once I was sure I wasn’t going to embarrass myself and cry, making my mascara run down my face, I opened them and quickly swiped the room with my eyes. The first thing I noticed was the bed and its rumpled dark green sheets. It’s big and sturdy with a thick dark brown frame. On each side of the bed, two bedside tables in a lighter brown were standing small. Each was littered with junk from open mails to an empty Gatorade bottle. Then, in one corner I found a laundry hamper full to bursting, spilling a few clothes around on the floor. Closest to us, against the wall, a big dresser in the same color as the bed loomed over.
I felt him moving next to me, coming behind me and pushing his broad chest into my back. My breathing hitched when his nose ran along my neck slowly, up until his lips brushed my jawline. It’s a barely there touch, something I could think I imagined if only it didn’t affect my core, if only my whole body didn’t tense and tried to push more into him in search of more of him, more touch. More everything.
I closed my eyes right when his hands went to my hips, hot and weighing deliciously on me. But I craved more. I wanted his hot skin on mine, the rough pads of his fingers against my tender flesh.
His hands traveled upward slowly, pulling my dress higher and higher. The rough denim of his jeans rubbed the back of my thighs, the swell of my ass uncovered by my scant panties. I gasped and brought my hands to his hips, hooking my fingers through the loops of his pants. I arched into his hands when they skimmed over my breasts, still not touching me altogether.
He was teasing me shamelessly.
His breathing accelerated close to my ear. His exhales licked my throat.
“Wyatt,’’ I sighed, begging him silently to get my dress over my head and off of me but he stopped then, with my dress under my arms, bunched in his big hands. His knuckles grazed around my breasts. “You’re killing me.’’
“Good,’’ he growled in my ear and nibbled on my earlobe. “Arms up, Marissa.’’
I swallowed thickly when the demand in his voice hit me, drawing out my lust further. I shook so much it’s a wonder I was able to stay on my feet. I didn’t often have such a reaction to a man, but Wyatt had me so far gone with desire and anticipation that I barely had any control left over my
own body.
Slowly, I unhooked my fingers from the loops in his waistband and raised my arms. He didn’t make me wait this time. As soon as my arms were above my head, he swiped my dress up and threw it away from us. I briefly opened my eyes and watched my cheap dress fall near the full amp.
It hit me then how crazy this all was, how unlike me it was. I wasn’t one to get close to a guy who mistreated me, even if he tried and explained his reasons. I wasn’t one who would willingly do something that would irremediably hurt myself and make things more difficult. I was aware of my mistake, and I knew that it’d only bring bad things, but I didn’t want to stop. I was past the stopping point.
His head nuzzled my neck, his lips trailing over my skin covered in goosebumps.
I only wanted more of this. I only wanted this sexual tension to grow until it reached its limits and we both exploded.
He ran a hand from my hip to the hem of my panties, tracing the elastic softly. I pushed my hips forward, watching his big hand gradually disappear inside my panties. My breathing became louder. And then, then his fingers applied a torturous pressure on my clit. My mouth dropped open on a strangled moan.
That was exactly what I wanted. He had hurt me, and I needed to be blind not to know he would do it again, but for once I let myself be weak and a prisoner to the sensations he awakened in me.
“You’re so fucking hot,’’ he said in a whisper, his voice washing over me. His words only intensified the pleasure mounting in me from his fingers playing me flawlessly.
I pushed into his hand, biting my lip on a moan when a more intense wave of pleasure hit me. I needed more of his touch. I grabbed his other hand gripping my hip and brought it up and pushed it against my breast still covered by my thin bra.
The heat from his palm, the firm grip on my breast, the bite of the cheap lace over my flesh, all of that had me rubbing against him and watching mesmerized his big hand covering my breast completely.
He rammed his hips into me again and again until I tried to search behind me with my hand to touch his hard cock pressed against my lower back, long and thick through his jeans. He pulled his hand out of my panties and snatched my wrist, breathing hard into my ear.
Messy Love Page 9