Black spots appeared in front of me as she came, moaning, crying my name again and again. And I came.
My body stilled, and I groaned out her name along with something else I didn’t know.
“Wow,’’ I whispered in her neck, spent and sweaty against her. I released her hands, and she loosely wrapped her arms around me, drawing invisible designs on my sweaty back.
“That was…’’ she whispered and then trailed off, sighing before she kissed the top of my head. She cuddled me, and that did something to my guts. Unable to resist, I trailed a few slow kisses on her neck with my eyes closed and my nose full of Marissa’s scent mixed with mine and sex.
“Intense?’’ I supplied and then placed another kiss on her neck before I pulled my head back to stare at her.
Her eyes, hooded and so fucking bright did me in and this time around fear was non-existent. She was there, right there where I wanted her most. Whatever that meant.
“Yeah, intense. Maybe too intense.’’
My first instinct was to frown and pull away, but Marissa’s soft hands on my back and her legs around my hips kept me rooted there, softening my edges as they started to prickle again. Instead, I did something very foreign to me when it came to women. I kissed her forehead softly and gently brushed away a few strands of hair, careful not to ruin that peaceful moment suspended in time. Peace wasn’t something I was all that accustomed to, and I wanted it to last as long as possible, along with that fucking light she pushed into me to better fight off my demons. She made it seem possible that everything could happen, that I wasn’t condemned to my own fucked up darkness.
“It can’t be too intense when it makes everything else disappear, sweet thing,’’ I whispered close to her mouth and watched, enthralled, as her eyes dilated again and her mouth twisted into the most adorable smile I had ever seen. “It’s perfection.’’
“Or madness.’’
I traced the slope under her lower lip and stared as her mouth parted with a quiet gasp. My thumb met the still damp skin of her lip, sliding over the deep pink plump flesh. “Do I make your heart beat faster? Do I make your body sing without so much as a single touch? Do I haunt your every fucking thought directly or indirectly? Do you want to see me even when you know it’s the worst fucking idea? Because that’s exactly how it is for me, sweet thing.’’ I locked eyes with her again and kissed her quickly. I closed my eyes as to sever that damn link that’s blurring things even more and filling me with doubts and fears that had nothing to do with who Marissa was, but everything to do with who I was and how I never ceased to fuck everything up.
“Wyatt…’’
I shook my head and pulled away, sliding off the couch and jumped to my feet in one movement. “Anyway, I’m supposed to go to work to talk with my boss about my hours.’’
“Wait,’’ she said and blinked at me, her arms, unfortunately, covering her magnificent tits as I jumped in my jeans and snatched my t-shirt from the floor. “You’re leaving. Now.’’
“My boss is going to fuck me over with my hours at the gym. I’m short on clients right now.’’
She snatched my wrist just as I was about to turn around, looking away from her tantalizing form, but I needed space to breathe, and I also must find a way to keep my hours up at work. Just for a few hours, I needed to keep to myself and sort things out because now I swore I wouldn’t willingly hurt her just because I was so damn scared of what she represented to my adoptive family and what it could mean for me. Granted, she was still my adoptive mother’s biological daughter, and that was fucked up in itself, but it didn’t make me panic anymore. It only drilled home how entwined we were no matter what. Where it used to send me into a tailspin, it now gave the kind of thrill I had no idea what to make of other than to get Marissa to say my name just like she did when she came.
Gently, I pulled out of her grip and offered her a smirk that was met with an impassive look on her face as she quickly put on her large t-shirt that covered her, but left most of her legs bare to my greedy eyes.
“I’ll call you, okay? Sorry I have to bail so soon.’’
She nodded and ran her fingers through her hair without a word. I shrugged and waited for her to finally give me a small smile as she stood up in front of me. I gave her a quick hug, a kiss at the top of her head and I left before I fucked her again and missed my appointment with my boss. I couldn't lose myself in her when I needed to gather my damn wits to get ready for more of Marissa, for more of her and me together.
I needed time so that I wouldn't fuck up once again.
***
MARISSA
Hours after Wyatt left my place minutes after we had sex again and I was still only wearing an old t-shirt of Jamie and nothing else, parked on the couch that would forever remind me of how stupid I had been yet again. And with the same man on top of it.
I sighed and threw my drawing pad on the coffee table and the pencil. I watched as it rolled and rolled until it fell and got lost under the armchair with my sweatpants.
With rage against myself more than against Wyatt because this time around he acted pretty decently around me, more than decently in fact even if he had left before I had my heart beating back to normal, I dialed Sophie’s number. She answered after the second ring.
“Hey, how is it going?’’
“I had sex with Wyatt again,’’ I blurted immediately and then sighed heavily into the phone.
“Ooo-kay,’’ she said and then chuckled awkwardly, but she quickly sobered and growled into the phone. “Don’t tell me he played you again.’’
“No, not really.’’
“Either it’s yes or no, Mar. Can’t be both.’’
I scratched at my scalp, remembering what had happened and nothing jumped at me one way or another. “He wasn’t an asshole this time. He just left soon after and now… I don’t know.’’
“I know what it is.’’
“Really?’’ I asked and laughed, the tenseness in my shoulders slowly deserting me as Sophie’s light voice worked its magic. There was nothing better than to unload and talk things out with a close friend to get a new perspective and distance.
“It’s not just your body that’s involved with Wyatt. It’s also your heart.’’
“Oh, come on.’’
“I’m serious.’’
“You know what, I didn’t call you for that, Sophie,’’ I bit out for no reason and frowned as I clenched my hand into a fist in my lap, pressing my phone harder against my ear.
“If you called me to curse Wyatt because you’re mad at yourself for sleeping with him again, I’m not going to.’’
“That’s something I’ve gathered by now.’’
“I’m your friend, Mar. Friends tell each other things we don’t always want to hear, and that’s what I’m doing. You’re falling for Wyatt Burton, and you’re fighting it with everything you are because you’re scared to give him enough to hurt you again.’’
“I have to go,’’ I mumbled and didn’t wait for her to add something as I hung up, my eyes brimming with tears as her words found echo inside of me.
What was I doing?
MARISSA
It’s eleven past ten when my phone buzzed with a text. Swallowing down my third Hershey Kiss, I lazily grabbed it and gave it a cursory look just when Spike and Buffy get down and dirty fighting again. The name attached to the text had me sitting up and forgetting everything about the insane sexual tension between Buffy and Spike to focus on my stupid phone and the text.
It’s from Wyatt.
My heart sped up when I pressed to open the text, and it soared when the words registered in my head.
I know it’s late, but care to come by my place? - Wyatt
Biting my lower lip, I hesitated to answer right away but decided against my better judgment to get to the bottom of things. I was tired of playing games with that man, and I was sick of torturing myself.
Is this a booty call? Did you play shifumi and it fell on me? - Marissa
What am I supposed to think? - Marissa
After today? Fuck, I don’t know. Maybe that I want to see you, talk to you and then fuck you senseless. What do you think? - Wyatt
I pressed my thighs together and let my fingers hover over the screen, unsure of how to answer even if I knew what I wanted to say and do. The voice of reason was nowhere to be heard.
I don’t know what to think whenever you’re concerned. - Marissa
Welcome to my fucked up world, sweet thing. - Wyatt
I’ll be there in twenty minutes. - Marissa
It was useless to fight now anyway. I shot myself in the foot the day I met Wyatt Burton.
***
MARISSA
Wyatt’s door opened, and his frown and dark eyes would have given me pause if butterflies weren’t at war in my stomach and if my whole body didn’t burn with the promise of more of what had happened earlier.
I was stuck on a rollercoaster, and somehow it didn’t bother me if it meant that he tried not to hurt me again. I had to give him the benefit of the doubt and see where it would go. I wanted to see where it would go and I trusted him now that he reached out to see me again instead of blowing me off. Call me stupid for trying again.
“Are you going to stay there all night?’’ he gruffly asked when I didn’t move to step inside his apartment.
I shook my head and walked in, making sure to keep my eyes in his until my back was to him and I went to stand next to the couch in the living room. I’d like to say that I was starting to get to know him, but the truth was Wyatt Burton was mostly a mystery, complex and challenging to follow. He kept a lot away, and his eyes rarely let on what I should expect next. That only intensified my curiosity and the apprehension that never seemed to leave me since I’ve met him.
“I didn’t think you’d want to see me again,’’ I said once he closed the door and walked over, his swagger so distracting my heart fluttered, and my eyes fell from his face to fix his muscles. They flexed at his every move and were impossible to miss through the same t-shirt and jeans he had been wearing before he left my place earlier.
“I told you I didn’t want to hurt you again.’’ His voice took a harsher tone, dropping so low it raised the hair on my arms.
Then, slowly, almost as if testing me, he took a few steps closer until we stood toe to toe. My eyes were on his collarbone peeking through the stretched out collar of his t-shirt. His fingers traced my jaw, barely touching my skin. My whole face tingled and went up in flames. He put pressure under my chin to tilt my head up. Like a puppet, I followed his cue and let his dark eyes swallow me whole.
“You left so suddenly,’’ I said, voice shaking. I brought my hands to his forearms, but I didn’t push him away. I wanted that contact, that closeness that filled me up to bursting with the kind of energy that galvanized and thrilled so much that everything seemed possible and nothing appeared bleak.
“I had to meet with my boss.’’ He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His fingers held my face tighter for a brief moment before he pressed his forehead against mine. “And I needed a few hours to myself.’’
“And now?’’
“Now I’m ready if you are, Marissa. I’m fucked up, you know it, but I’m willing to do my best to protect you if it means that I get to have you. You consume my every thought, and I can’t stop what’s happening. To hell with the rest.’’
“Don’t mess with me again, Wyatt.’’
“I won’t,’’ he said immediately, pulling away, cupping my cheeks softly. He was shaking. It was barely noticeable if I hadn't been so fixed on him and everything that made him at that very moment, but he was shaking. “I can’t explain what’s going on, but I want you, and it has nothing to do with my mom. It’s all about you and what you do in here.’’ He grabbed one of my hands and put it against his left pec, right above his fast beating heart. “It had never beat quite like this before you entered my life, Marissa.’’
I balled his shirt in my hand as emotions swelled inside of me. One took precedence for the first time since Wyatt entered my life and burrowed his way in my head.
Hope.
“You and I, but nobody else.’’
“You and I, but nobody else,’’ he said, echoing me with his deep voice, so damn smooth it caressed me from head to toes, coaxing my body into reacting to him more. “Let’s see where this is going.’’
I nodded and dragged my hand from his pec up to his neck and behind his head. My fingers delved through his thick hair. “Kiss me now.’’
And he did and so much more.
We’ll see where it goes, and in the meantime, I better remember that it’s not a promise for a future, only a promise for now and exclusivity. That was a lot more than I bargained for when I opened my door earlier that day.
WYATT
I had never seen myself as the domestic kind of guy before. I used to think that at twenty-four, being with a girlfriend meant being chained down and lacking the freedom I desperately hung onto.
I had never wanted a girlfriend or anything remotely close, but it’s been two weeks since Marissa, and I got around to agreeing to let what was happening between us run its course and see where it went. Two weeks. And I still wanted her more, looked for more time to spend with her.
I also couldn’t take my eyes off of her, not when she was cooking in my kitchen wearing only my shirt with no panties. I was only human, and when a gorgeous woman, my woman, paraded around wearing barely anything and gave me a glimpse of her pert ass I didn’t mind praising with my cock deep in her dripping pussy, I couldn’t be held responsible for the chubby tenting my sweatpants. Neither the way my eyes burned through her, cataloging her every move while silently praying to see her reaching something in the cupboard above so the shirt would ride up, just a couple inches more.
I bit my lip and groaned when she did just that and looked over her shoulder back at me with a teasing smile on her face. Her eyes, bright and laughing only intensified my reaction to her.
Marissa had me pussy whipped, something I would have laughed at if someone had told me I’d ever end up like this. Now? I just thanked the day I finally got my shit together before I messed up irremediably and lost the chance to see that being with one woman wasn’t so bad. It was insanely good, in fact.
“What?’’ she asked with a chuckle, turned around and leaned against the counter near the stove where vegetables cooked with some spices she brought over from her place.
“I didn’t say anything.’’ I didn’t move from the stool at the kitchen island, elbows on the top and head held in one hand while my free hand clenched whenever I felt like attacking her like a wild animal and fucking her on the closest surface available. I could do it, she’d love it without a doubt, but delayed gratification was fun too. Helluva fun when Marissa was in the equation, and she begged me to go harder.
“You’re looking.’’
Her smile stretched her plump lips still red from the moment I attacked her when she first got here two hours ago after her day at InkSpired. She was breathtaking, so fucking breathtaking that my heart stuttered once again in my chest. That fucker acted up more and more as days went and Marissa marked my life and me more.
“You don’t have panties or a bra under my shirt, sweet thing.’’
“Oh come on,’’ she said with a laugh, head thrown back, giving me a fantastic view of her long neck that I never failed to kiss whenever I first thrust inside her, and she enveloped me so heavenly that I lost my edges.
“I’m serious. If you think your nipples poking through that shirt and your perfect ass swaying don’t affect me, you’re crazy.’’
“Really?’’ She arched an eyebrow at me, her cheeks reddening, but not exactly like they did when we fucked. She bit her lip, and my balls ached in answer. I clenched free hand and sat straighter. My hard-on started to become more and more uncomfortable in that position. “Does that mean you’re hard right now?’’
<
br /> “Come and see.’’ I offered her a crooked smile I now knew made her wet and watched as her eyes fell to my mouth. Shit, that look alone... I felt it through my system. My cock jerked in my sweatpants, and I resisted when my first thought was to wrap my fist around it to give it a good squeeze. I was ready to combust.
“I don’t think so,’’ she chuckled and pointed at the stove where her vegetables cooked, spreading a nice smell that would have me salivating at any other time, but right now I was one hundred percent focused on the sexy woman on the other side of the kitchen island. “I don’t want these to burn.’’
“You should care more about letting me burn.’’
“Oh my God, Wyatt!’’ Her laughter hit me again, turning my blood to lava as a strange emotion made its appearance. Pride. I was fucking proud of making her laugh like that, for putting that light in her eyes, that happiness that pushed my darkness at bay, so much that it barely touched me these days. “That’s so damn cheesy!’’
“Uh,’’ I grunted and stood up, watching when her eyes traveled down my bared chest, stopping at my abs before they fixed the tent in my pants hungrily. She could play it off, but I knew damn well that this insane attraction went both ways. Always. “Look what you do to me.’’
“Shut up.’’ She covered her eyes with a hand before she deliberately turned around and went back to the stove to stir the vegetables.
I didn’t let it deter me because I bet that if I slipped my hand between her legs, I’d find her dripping wet. I was also convinced that she didn’t need a lot of convincing to drop her cooking and follow me to the bedroom for another earth shattering orgasm.
Quietly, I made my way around the kitchen island and stepped to her, stopping behind her, close enough that she’d feel me there, but far enough that she would crave my touch without getting it. I stared at the back of her neck visible when she had her hair up like this in a messy knot on top of her head. I breathed against her smooth skin. Immediately goosebumps erupted on her flesh. My skin mirrored hers as if answering an invisible command that only Marissa issued.
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