It’s been two days since Danny’s visit, and it took only hours for Ralph to hear worrisome shit about Wyatt and what he was up to. I told him we should have called Danny Burton immediately, but Ralph didn’t want to cause trouble for his best friend without having all the facts. Getting the cops involved would be the last resort.
It didn’t cause him issues getting me to follow him in a spying game instead of going back to my parents for a family weekend with baby Paul and the new parents. Ralph played on my worries for Wyatt that overshadowed my pain and resentment.
“I didn’t have to persuade you too much, girl.’’
“Still.’’ I wiped at my eyebrows and the sweat coating my forehead as the sun beat down on us. “I don’t want to see some girl hanging on his arm.’’
“You wo—Fuck!’’ Ralph’s hand tightened on a side mirror as his eyes narrowed. Stealthily, I glanced over his shoulder and saw a weary man walking out of the building, rubbing his nose and squinting in the blinding morning sun.
“What? Who is it?’’ When Ralph didn’t answer me but kept his eyes on the man as if he was gearing up to murder him, I shook him. “Do you know this man?’’
“Yeah. Yeah, I know him.’’ When the man disappeared around the corner, his eyes swiveled to the windows of the second floor where Wyatt lived. We couldn’t see a thing from here. “That was Wyatt’s biological father.’’
“No.’’
“Yes.’’ Our eyes caught and we shared a common thought. What the fuck was going on here? “It’s worse than I thought.’’
“We need to let Danny know. Wyatt told me once that he’s dangerous.’’
“He’s also a screw up who hurt Wyatt repeatedly. Shit, the man did some shady stuff to Wyatt, and I don’t even know the half of it.’’
“Do you… do you think Wyatt is doing drugs?’’
“I don’t know.’’ He shook his head and stood up suddenly, putting an end to our spying game. I jumped to my feet and let Ralph's worry seep through me, getting my nerves to high alert and putting my heart through the wringer. Again. And still for the same man. “Wyatt had never been into drugs, but who knows with that man sniffling around. I should have known that something was wrong. Fuck, think Marissa! He ended it with you because of it. He pushed me away because of it. And Lydia, Danny, and Ava? It’s the same thing. He wants us away from the man.’’
“I don’t think so. I mean, with me I don’t see—’’
“You said that he pushed you away right when you thought you two were having a real connection. I bet you something set him off.’’ He glared across the street, and I followed his eyes, finding Wyatt getting out slowly, his eyes going left and right nervously before he stepped out. He missed us across the street, or so I thought until he looked up, maybe feeling our eyes on him. He froze, and from here I saw his whole body coiling tight.
“Ralph?’’ I asked, stepping back, ready to bolt. I had no idea how I could talk to him right now.
“If you need to go, do it now before he crosses the street, girlie.’’
I let my eyes take in his face as he drew closer. I latched onto his unshaved face with an unkempt beard, the rings under his eyes full of anger and worry and the tight press of his lips.
“I’m staying,’’ I mumbled right when he rounded a car and stalked toward us with long steps.
“What are you doing here? And together?’’ he asked, eyes narrowed as he glanced at me before settling on his best friend.
“What do you think? We’re all worried about you, dumbass!’’ Ralph snapped and stepped closer to his best friend. “Don’t you dare tell us to go fuck ourselves. We know what’s going on.’’
His already pale complexion turned ghostly white, and the air in his lungs escaped in a loud sound. His eyes went back to me with a shake of his head. “You don’t know shit.’’
“We saw your biological father leave.’’
“Fuck!’’ He cursed loudly, and his eyes wildly searched around in the street. “You shouldn’t be here. Go.’’
“What’s going on with you?’’ I asked, breaking my vow of silence when his scared voice pierced through me.
“It’s none of your business, Marissa. We’re over.’’
His glare hurt, but the pain and fear in his voice had me staying put, not once thinking about leaving now that we were close again. My heart, my pain wasn’t relevant at that moment. What was, was Wyatt’s well-being and his safety from the man who had abused him for years when he was a kid. That was the top priority.
“It doesn’t mean I don’t care. Lydia and Danny are worried sick. Ralph has been trying to be there for you, but you won’t let him. What did you think? We were all bound to get to you.’’
“She’s right,’’ Ralph butted in. “And we know you’ve had shady people around. Man, what are you doin'?’’
“We can’t talk here.’’
“Then let’s go to your place.’’
“We can’t go there either. Fuck.’’ He rubbed his eyes and re-checked the street.
“Don’t tell me you’re stupid enough to have drugs in your apartment,’’ Ralph said in a warning tone.
“What do you think? I’m fucked, okay? I’m fucked. Now go.’’
“Stop it,’’ Ralph said, and the harsh tone begged no contradiction.
“I don’t want her mixed in this shit, okay!’’ Wyatt yelled in his best friend’s face pointing at me. “Get her out of here.’’
“I’m not a little girl. Do you think it’s easy for me to be here? Guess what, Wyatt? In life, nothing is easy. Either you do nothing and let shit rule you, or you take action. Don’t be the little boy abused by his biological father. Be the man Lydia and Danny taught you to be.’’
The man I had first met months ago in front of the Burton’s residence would have gone into a tongue lashing that would have smarted pretty bad, but Wyatt wasn’t the same man. That wasn’t true. I believed he hadn’t changed, but he let me see another part of him, unlocking the massive doors that protected him to let me in. That soothed the pain radiating through me.
His dark eyes stared at me, pain echoing in me, letting me see the man I had fallen for and not the cold and distant person that let me out of his life a month ago.
“It’s not that easy, Marissa.’’ That was all he said. He clamped his lips after that and sighed so deeply the passing cars didn’t cover the sound.
“It is,’’ Ralph butted in and put his face in Wyatt’s. He placed both hands on his shoulders, and the two men stared at each other darkly. “That asshole broke you once. Don’t let him win again. You think you’re stuck in this hellhole, and I’m telling you that you have one chance to put him and his little friends away for a while.’’
“My dad…’’
“Danny?’’ Ralph asked to make sure, and at Wyatt’s feeble nod he went on. “Danny will do everythin' to help you, and you know it. Your father is a fuckin' cop, damn it! If it’s not the perfect time to have a cop in your pocket, I don’t know when it is.’’
“I’m going to go to jail because of this,’’ Wyatt said quietly between gritted teeth, obviously trying to keep me out of this.
“Unless you help the cops arrest all those people,’’ I said before Ralph could reply something. I came closer and grabbed Wyatt’s fist. I coaxed him to open his hand with slow caresses on his wrist, the back of his hand and over his knuckles. When he linked his fingers through mine, it was like life breathed through me again, like the bleakness that surrounded me evaporated. “Doing something right isn’t always the easy path, Wyatt. You have people there to support you.’’
Ralph stepped back when his best friend turned his head towards me. Nothing else existed but Wyatt and me. I only saw his eyes, eyes so dark and so alive with a world of emotions that never failed to overwhelm me and probably him too.
“What are you doing here? You said you wouldn’t come back.’’
“I…’’ I trailed off and made to move away, u
nsure of what to say, how to feel and react, but Wyatt stopped me. His grip on my hand tightened until I couldn’t deny the link that united us, both invisible and visible.
“Marissa…’’
“We’ll talk later,’’ I said after swallowing thickly and blinking hard. “Right now, we need to hurry and devise a plan.’’
His eyebrows lowered and he nodded, but he didn’t have to say that this wasn’t over for me to know it.
“Let’s call your dad now. He’s been onto you for days now. That’s how we knew something was going on.’’ Ralph said, grabbing his phone.
“Does he know about…’’ Wyatt waved at the building on the opposite side of the street.
“The dealers and junkies? Yeah. I bet he suspects something about the drugs at your place, but I don’t think he knows your bio dad is in the middle of it.’’
“Shit,’’ Wyatt muttered and then swept a look at the street again, eyes narrowing on a man further down before he relaxed when he noticed that the guy was only walking a bulldog. “I didn’t want any of you into this mess.’’
“You can’t always push people away,’’ I said when Ralph took a couple of steps away from us and brought his cell to his ear.
“Protecting the people I care about was the only good thing I had ever done in my life, Marissa. Sometimes, protecting someone meant hurting them, but that kind of pain was a lot less important than what will happen now.’’
“Is that really what you think?’’ I asked in disbelief. “Damn it, Wyatt! Open your eyes! It only hurts because we care about you and we worry. When you care about someone, you don’t just keep them in your life when things are great. You hold onto them when things turn ugly too.’’
His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. His eyes turned shiny, and he dropped them to the ground. “I don’t know how to do that, Marissa.’’
“The Burtons and Ralph will be there.’’
“But not you.’’ His eyes found me again as Ralph’s voice droned out nearby. I should, we both should, be focusing on the issues at hand, but instead, we were stuck there, our mess blowing in our head and my heart tortured in my chest.
“You don’t want me in your life, Wyatt. I won’t fight anymore.’’
“Is that really what you think?’’ He leaned close to my face. “You know me better than that. Look in my fucking eyes, sweet thing. Look and tell me I don’t want you in my life.’’
“Stop.’’
“No. You said so yourself. I have to be an adult here. I tore my heart out of my chest when I let you go that Sunday morning. You’re in there.’’ He hit on his chest right where his heart beat.
“You’ve had women around.’’
“Yeah, and I touched none of them. Don’t you see? I’m a fucked up man with a fucked up heart who’s desperately in love with you, and I have nothing to offer you.’’
“I’ve never asked for anything but you and your heart, Wyatt.’’
“You’ve had my heart for months. See?’’ He opened his arms wide. “I’m wide open here. I have no secrets anymore. I’m so damn scared I’ve barely slept in weeks. That morning when I let you go, I found my old stuffed turtle at my door, and I knew only one person who could have put it there. I let my fear for myself and also for you rule me. That’s over. You’re asking me to fight and be who I want to be. That’s who I am. I’m fucked up. I’m broken in so many pieces I have no idea if I’ll ever be as well-balanced as you deserve, but I also love you so fucking much that missing you has been like dying a little more everything day in a painful death. I might face jail time, I have no job left, no money that isn’t dirty on my account and I have no idea where I’m going in life, but the only thing I’m sure is my feelings for you. You’ve fought for me. Now it’s my turn to fight for you. Let me fight for you, for us.’’
“He’s on his way,’’ Ralph said as he walked back. “Am I interrupting?’’ His eyes went back and forth between Wyatt and me.
“We’ll finish this later,’’ I said and rubbed my forehead.
“Marissa.’’
“It’s not the time or place. Please,’’ I said and begged him. I knew my eyes reflected the pain I went through since that Sunday because Wyatt nodded and looked away, but not before I read the apology in his dark orbs.
“It’s not heavy or anything,’’ Ralph mumbled and held up both hands when we murdered him with our glare. “I’m shuttin' up now.’’
***
WYATT
When Dad’s patrol car parked in front of us up the street, my jitters reached an all-time high. My heart that had been sitting heavy in my chest since seeing Marissa was now doing some weird squeeze.
Danny Burton, my dad, was nothing like the policeman. I had always known him, but at this very moment, it hit me square in the jaw and left me pondering the urge to run. But I stayed put. If for nothing more than because seeing Ralph and Marissa had been the electroshock I had needed to put me back on track and dragging me out of the mess in my head to do something to get my life back to where it should be.
Dad rounded the car and beelined for me. His clear eyes ran from my toes to my head, cataloging everything in his head as his steps, sure and even, drew him closer to me. When he stood there right in front of me, I saw the worries and the disappointed. The latter was painful.
“Are you alright?’’
Just days ago, I’d have quickly answered with a harsh yes. But that was before. “No. Not at all.’’
He put a hand on the back of my head then. He was shorter than me, but that didn’t change things one bit. His comfort hit me, and I crumbled. I wrapped my arms around the only man I had ever considered my dad and held onto him tightly, shaking so damn bad I couldn’t control it.
“I’m here, Wyatt. I’ll always be there for you.’’ He hugged me back tightly and patted me on the back, not once putting an end to the hug. He waited for me to pull away, to get some composure back and dry my eyes before I stood straight again.
“I don’t know how to get out of this,’’ I said with a rough voice, betraying the emotions still hurting me left and right.
“That’s easy. We’re going to put them in jail. And your biological father? Trust me, I’ll do everything, so he never comes into your life again, not unless you make the first move. You don’t have to get in the middle of this shit again. I should have known he was sniffing around.’’
“You couldn’t have.’’
“Wyatt, I’m a cop. What do you think I did when we took you in? I looked him over, and it’s a wonder he never got arrested when you were still in his care. I’m pretty sure he had a few cops in his pocket.’’ He got his phone out and then looked at Ralph and Marissa. “You two, you need to leave. I can’t have others involved if we’re going to pull this off.’’
“What? But—‘’ Marissa started to protest, but one authoritative look from Dad and she shut up.
“I have friends at the police department that had been trying to get several of the people I’ve seen coming and going from Wyatt’s. I’m going to make a deal with them to say that we’ve been using Wyatt to trap them, but I can’t do this if you two are here. Got it?’’
“Do you think it’d work?’’ I asked with uncertainty when Ralph agreed and shook his head at Marissa when she went to protest again. That shut her up and when he whispered something to her, she sagged and shrugged.
“Yes, it’ll work.’’ He shrugged and stared at me intensely. “It’s not ethical, and it’s risky, but it’ll work. We’ll get them on a flag, so it should limit your involvement in court. You’ll have to twist a few things at the precinct, but it’ll be okay.’’
“And Mom?’’
“Better keep her out of this until it’s all sorted out. But let me tell you, you’ll have two very emotional female Burtons on your hands to deal with.’’ Once again, he looked at Ralph and Marissa. “Now, you two grab the first cab you find and stay put until one of us calls you back. Got it?’’
They nodded and with one last look, they walked away. My eyes didn’t leave Marissa, not until I couldn’t see her and I were sure she was putting miles between her and this godawful place.
“Wyatt.’’ I looked back at my dad and waited. “I know it’s hard, but I want you to tell me everything again while we wait for the team to get here. We have to work fast to pull this off.’’
MARISSA
“Are you sure you don’t want me to go up with you?’’ Ralph asked me gently, but with his knitted eyebrows and the way he gripped the steering wheel, I knew he needed alone time. I couldn’t blame him. I felt the same.
“No, don’t worry.’’ I forced a smile. “I never thought something like that was going on. I was so quick to paint him as an asshole.’’
“Hey, don’t feel bad, girlie. Wyatt has always been challenging when you get close.’’
“You’re worried, aren’t you?’’ I asked, and my own eyebrows slammed down.
“I have a bad feeling about this shit. Wyatt’s biological father doesn’t care if he hurt his son. I bet he likes it.’’ He waved off. “Don’t listen to me. I’m just pissed I didn’t listen to my guts earlier. I acted all butt hurt.’’
“You just said I shouldn’t blame myself.’’
“It’s different. You’ve known him just a few months. I’ve known Wyatt since we were seven, maybe earlier.’’ He sighed and offered me a tired smile. “Alright, if you need something call me, okay? It’ll probably take a while for Wyatt and Mr. Burton to…’’ he trailed off, and his weak smile vanished.
“Yeah, I know.’’ I cleared my throat when my voice cracked and opened the passenger door. “Call me if you hear anything.’’ At Ralph’s nod, I climbed out of the car and jogged to my building as my worries took a life of their own and constricted my throat and squeezed my heart.
Shaking, I walked into the building and climbed the stairs, my mind riveted to Wyatt, to his words, to the emotions I perceived in his eyes and that washed over me, reminded me of what I had felt when we made love.
Messy Love Page 27