by V. Theia
Without thought, his head hissing too loudly with voices and dark whispers and a sickening homicidal taste coating the back of his throat, he cocked back his fist, repeatedly punched the brick.
Teeth clenched.
He hammered the wall until his bones begged for him to stop, blood oozing from the broken skin.
Huffing like a monster, he felt all his deranged self as he paced four feet one way and then back again. Repeating it on a loop, cursing to himself like an animal would in the wild if it were afforded a human voice.
It was murky, unhinged, inaudible mutterings.
Answering to inner thoughts that should have been long gone, but no fucker would ever let him forget. Her fucking voice. It grated like broken glass.
Taking a huge gulp of air, he knew he’d been outside too long when people fell out of the bar laughing. He straightened from the wall, used the front of his shirt to mop up what he could of the blood, only now feeling the tug of pain on his hand, he zipped his jacket masking the stain and shoved both hands inside the pockets before striding inside.
Both Rider and Charlie were standing prepared to leave.
“Everything sorted?” He managed to ask around the bolder of crap in his throat.
The cop looked at him probingly as if he could see down to Hawk’s guts and he didn’t want any person knowing what was down there, so he scowled like a degenerate at the innocent guy. He knew what he saw when people looked at him, if they got past his scary demeanor. His face was a constant canvas of inscrutability and that’s how he liked it. He didn’t want no one in his face let alone his head.
“Seems to be. So, you’re in, right? This makes sense for both of us, Charlie.” Rider asked the guy. And Charlie nodded reluctantly. “Just … fuck, just try not to get ya ass in my cells okay? Not much I can do for you if you’re on a rap sheet. I’ll do what I can on my end. This ends well without fatalities, you got it?”
Hawk and Rider left first, retracing their steps back to the bikes.
Rider kept right on yapping his gums, but Hawk heard none of it.
Left and right the sickness slopped in his belly.
It was nebulously fucking depressing that at thirty-seven he was still dealing with shit he couldn’t drop off the edge of the earth. That the kind of person he was with several wires not working real good meant he had coping mechanisms that screamed to be utilized to dull the noise as he threw a leg over his bike. He could only think of pouring his fury into someone until they gathered all his pain and he’d be blessedly empty again.
“You fuckin’ listenin’ to me?” He caught, and he switched his gaze to find Rider’s eyes on Hawk’s hand around the bike gears. “The fuck happened there?”
“Yeah, I’m listening.” He lied.
“Asked you a question, Hawk. The fuck happened? Who called you?”
Hawk cocked a brow. “You wanna climb down off my dick? It was nothing.”
“A busted hand is nothing? You either killed some fucker in those ten minutes you were gone, or you’ve taken to scraping your hands on the floor like a gorilla.”
Any other time he might have cracked a partial grin.
Twitching his jaw, he revved the engine, kicked off the foot stand.
“You good, man?” Asked Rider in that concerned voice of his that any decent man had in him somewhere. Hawk hated pity. He’d rather have his fucking head chewed off by a cobra than have someone’s pity and not his best friend’s.
“I’m fucking fine,” he growled. “Christ, Rider, we don’t always gotta be in fucking touch with our feelings, for fucks sake. Having an old lady has turned you into a damn pussy.”
He wanted Rider to climb off his bike and crack Hawk’s skull against the concrete floor. Anything was better than the look in his buddy’s eyes.
Rider didn’t do anything but lean his forearms against the handlebars. Calm and collected. Watchful. “You’re acting like you’re on the fuckin’ rag, brother. You gotta get away for a few days?”
Fuck. Fuck. That was code for Rider thought he was being an unstable asshole and maybe he ought to go out of town for a few days, fuck pussy until he was dry, drink liquor until he couldn’t walk, smoke a few dozen pipes and maybe cause damage to someone’s face. Anything to get him back level again.
Rider didn’t even know the half of it.
He’d never done any of those fucking things. When he’d gone out of town it was to Texas to be like a fucking predator to spy on Gia.
“I’m out.” He said between clenched teeth.
“Don’t make me pull fuckin’ rank on your ass, Hawk.” Rider said, looking like he was gonna get off his bike. Maybe he could throw down with his prez, have Rider bust his face and a few bones.
He swallowed around the fire of bile in his throat.
“I’m fucking fine, dad. Gonna get some pussy if you don’t have objections. Don’t wait up.”
With a hard rev of the Harley engine, the pipes rumbling like a tank under him, the vibrations traveled from his legs right up to his brain, he roared off down the street.
Only one destination in mind.
Knowing he was gonna use Gia for sex in the same way he’d used bitches over the years as a mood stabilizer made him feel sick to his stomach. But the moment she opened the door with her face flushed and her mouth dropping open with a surprised O shape he didn’t feel so bad when he grabbed her up around the armpits, kicked the door closed and attached her sweet fucking lips letting her flavor tame the monster as only she could.
Getting with the program instantly and thank fucking god for that, she wrapped her legs, popped her hips when he skimmed his wanting hands down into the knee length shorts without unfastening them first and finger-fucked her into the fastest orgasm he’d ever witnessed.
“God. Hi.” She whimper-laughed into his mouth doing her own attacking on his tongue.
She soaked his hand.
It made the monster inside his head snarl with satisfaction.
When he was making her come he didn’t have room to think about anything else. Couldn’t let the past creep in any cracks. It was all about Gia.
She was his woman to undo. His woman to make soft and pliable.
His woman to fuck against the hallway table and that’s what he did.
There's no telling who dove in first, only their kiss became desperate real damn fast.
Hawk angled his head down and ate her alive.
“I need to give you one fuck of an orgasm.” He rasped. “Ready to let a disreputable man inside you? Widen your legs so I can see where I want to fuck you.”
With a rough series of tugs, he finally freed his pants. His arms felt like rubber. She tried to give him a heart attack with her legs squeezing his internal muscles.
Perfection. She was his in those frantic hallway seconds. All fucking his.
“Sweet, beautiful girl.” He husked sucking on her lower lip.
Hawk had no good thoughts left in his mind.
Her mouth was everywhere on his neck, fingers rough in his hair. Her fucking pelvis jerking against his dick fast enough to make him see pops of light.
“A filthy man is about to slide all your sweet-tasting pussy juices down on his cock. Hold onto me tight, Gia.”
“Please. Yes, Oh, Please.” She begged sweetly.
It was. Pure. Unadulterated. Sex.
He railed his little bit with about as much finesse as a bull in a china shop.
He fucked her through a second orgasm and pulled his dripping length free of the heaven he wanted to die inside of. Hard and wet, he grabbed his dick at the base, watched her eyes cloudy and full of lust as she leaned into the wall panting. It was a strong, dizzying feeling to know he’d put that fulfilled look in her eyes, he was the one who made her scream his name and her goddamn too-tight pussy to shake around him.
Now he wanted something filthier.
What the fuck, he was a monster, right?
Monsters liked dirty things.
Monsters
liked owning pretty things and little girls who should know better who they let in their doors.
“Lift up your shirt,” he hissed through his teeth and didn’t she just smile at him and reveal her perfect tits. Fuck, she killed him. “Gonna come on those pretty, good-girl tits.” He told her stroking it out.
She gave him saucy words of encouragement but all he heard was white static.
He exploded at the seams, at the nuts and bolts of his body, spilling and spilling until he dripped onto the clean floor and all over Gia’s flawlessness. Her tits glistened, two fucking perfectly plump snow-capped mountains.
His come dribbled down her belly, gathered on her pussy and with the flat of her hand she undid all his rage by rubbing it in and mewled like a cat in heat.
Nothing had ever felt so good as feeling Gia come apart for him, he’d go to his miserable grave knowing how constricted she squeezed that pussy.
Nor the way she smiled all the way through him cleaning her up.
And later when he tucked her into bed and kissed her forehead even though she was already dead to the world he sat a while and watched her, his predator habits hard to break. She murmured his name in her sleep, and he recalled the way she’d declared she loved him.
Loving a deviant would only bring her heartache.
He was a fucking fool for messing with her, but now he was trapped.
He loved the little bit of a thing more than he could ever love anyone.
He wanted a future with her. At least another day, another week.
He would make ten more minutes last him a lifetime.
She made him be not so … himself.
And no fucking shadows from his cracks were gonna ruin that.
He kissed her again, inhaling her scent and left quietly.
From his experience, bad blood was not only difficult to wash, it was next to impossible. Once it soaked down to the soul, in that place that should always remain untouched, the stain was set.
It was the dead of night, just when deviants like him functioned best.
He was cash rich, and ethically poor for how he earned that money, but it meant nothing if he couldn’t grab a few good moments with Gia before his life all went to shit.
Within the hour he’d overnighted a package full of money that equalled to ten grand.
He sent it to Nebraska in hopes it would keep them quiet for another six months.
He could have a good six months with Gia.
Soak every sweet drop of her in, take her down to his soul.
Be happy.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
“Sometimes you get more than you bargained for…like being someone’s dirty secret.” - Gia
The past few days with Hawk had felt more like a fairytale than her real humdrum life. When she’d proposed they spend time together, and then switched it up to being friends, never in her wildest and dirtiest dreams would she have imagined it would end up with her in bed with him, repeatedly.
She’d dreamed it, sure. She loved the obstinate biker after all, every scowl of his, so he’d always featured heavily in her fantasises over the years when she allowed her Hawk fascination back into her mind for a short while. But to assume it would ever become a reality, not so much. Who waits ten years to approach the woman they want?
Hawk apparently.
He was a breed of man all by himself. Like a relaxed caveman who liked his meat to come to him.
While she’d come to know him to be one of those alphahole-personalities, protective and caring underneath all his gruff and bluster, at least with her, it was Gia who was the driving force with the emotions. Would she have gotten this far without pushing him a little?
He was just a man with his own speed limit, nothing to worry about even if he did scowl like a professional in hopes of scaring her away. He was just a normal man, he put his pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of humans, ha, who was she kidding. He probably scowled, and the denim just slithered onto his legs with fright.
She held herself in giddy check while she unglued her dry tongue from the ceiling of her mouth as she watched him stride in from the front entryway of the Renegade Souls clubhouse. Her body fine-tuned to his frequency began humming on a low boil until everything from clit to eyebrows was aching for him to change direction and to put his grease heavy hands all over her.
Dressed in dark gray overalls bunched around his waist to reveal a grease smeared, ribbed white tank shirt and all those muscles on display, he looked so damn good it was hard to work her brain cells, what with them all melting at once.
Oh-my-god, she thought, his shoulders were ridiculously wide, and she knew now how they felt under her lips. Sharp and toned. His hair caught up in a tail at the back of his head, his beard was longer than it had been in Texas but still clipped to his face.
Since Zara was the office manager and around the club most of the time, and Harper was attached to her mama’s boob, it was a no brainer to meet her sister in law there.
It might also have something to do with seeing Hawk as well.
And when his eyes skidded over to her she swore she felt branded by those blues. He didn’t smile, but she felt his warmth nonetheless. She grinned and mouthed Hi to him. It was unavoidable to miss the feminine shrieks of Hawk's name when he continued his stride through the MC and a horde (it was three) of women came running over to him.
Gia felt her blood begin to boil with jealousy that they had the right to run over to greet him.
So, did she!
Their faces radiated both happiness and lust. They made sure not to approach Hawk too closely, she noticed, didn't try to touch him or god forbid try to hug him, but each woman hovered closely and didn't that bite through Gia's stomach lining.
Not used to feeling jealousy over any man she was involved with, since she never attached to them in the romantic sense because no previous boyfriend had the gravitational pull on her heart Hawk did.
The gust of violence witnessing their adoring, lusty fawning billowed up into her throat and if not for Zara coming out of the back rooms to distract her then Gia might have gone full banshee and did something she'd be embarrassed over later.
Without giving the women or Hawk a second glance, her spine straight she made her way over to her sister in law.
But her peripheral was on her man dismissing the woman with a grunt and a side step. She noticed he looked over again and she willed him to come her way, to claim her in the way that bikers did. Or at least come give her a kiss. This hiding baloney was ridiculous, and she didn’t know why she couldn’t tell Rider she was dating his friend.
“I’m so glad you’re here!” Zara said hugging her before handing over Harper.
“Me too. I couldn’t wait to see this little one again.” Blowing raspberries on Harper’s belly, the baby giggled pouring happiness into Gia’s chest.
“Oh, yeah. Harp’s is a good reason,” snickered Zara in a hushed whisper, “but what I really am dying to know is; what the hell happened with Hawk the other day when I left your place?”
Gia almost swallowed her tongue turning startled eyes on the other woman. Zara was so damn gorgeous and tiny and just overall the perfect woman for her brother, she’d loved her instantly as both a friend and her brother’s significant other. And now that Grace Kelly wasn’t so easily accessible for their girl talks Gia was going to need a squad here in Armado.
“Well…” she bit her lip and chanced a look over at the man in question. He was sat at the bar gulping a glass of water, but his gaze was solely on her. For someone who didn’t want anyone to know he was warming her bed he sure was not discreet in eye-fucking her.
A ripple of hot awareness rolled through her stomach.
Zara must have followed Gia’s gaze because she exclaimed. “Oh my god…”
“We’re sort of seeing each other, but you can’t tell Ambrosio, Zara. I mean it, he can’t know yet. You know how he gets about who I date. And it’s Hawk … so, yeah.”
“Oh.
My. God.” And then Zara honest to god squealed right there in the middle of the MC clapping her hands. “I knew it. I knew it.”
“What’s brought on the theatrics, Z-girl?” Asked Snake stepping out from the back rooms in an easy swaying gait. The tall, tattooed man wearing a pair of black specs and carrying a newspaper under his arm was wearing the usual biker garb of jeans, long shirt and the leather cut with the grim reaper on the back.
Both woman shut up instantly. “Never you mind.” Zara informed him, winking at Gia.
Subtle much. She grinned at him. “Move along, nothing to see here.”
“Chicks, all of ‘em crazy.” Snake shook his head and went about his business.
“You and Hawk? I can’t believe it. I mean I guessed he was into you.”
“You did?”
“Gia! Yeah. It was obvious. His eyes stalk you like you’re cake and he’s damn hungry. I’m just surprised Rider hasn’t noticed either, but he’s not looking at his best buddy and his sister like I have. Eek, this is so exciting, we can double date!”
“Whoa there,” Gia warned cuddling her niece to her chest. “I would totally love that, but technically I don’t even know what we are yet. I can lead a horse to water …”
“But you can’t drown him in it, right?”
Both women cracked up laughing.
“Seriously, I’m happy for you. I mean, he’s all growly scary on the outside, and he doesn’t really say much, least, not when I’m near, but Rider missed having him around this past year.”
“Why was he even away from the MC that long?” Gia questioned. She’d asked Hawk several times and each time he put her off with it being MC stuff or something to the like.
Zara sobered taking Harper back when she began to fuss. When she buried her face in her baby’s neck and rocked her gently Gia felt like she’d stepped on an unknown minefield. “That’s for Hawk to tell you, Gia. But you should know he’s a good man. No matter what he tells you. Some bad things happened to me,” Gia had known that, not the details, but Rider made her aware Zara was going through things and not to put pressure on her to talk if she didn’t want to. Instead Gia had forged a friendship with Zara of the things they did have in common and knew if Zara ever wanted to talk she’d be there for her.