by V. Theia
He needed to decide.
Couldn’t keep doing the same push and pull bullshit over and over and expecting Gia to go along with him. As she’d told him with her finger wagging in his face she could make her own decisions and she’d punch him in the balls if he ever tried to do something for her own good again. He believed it too. Feisty and beautiful and he wanted her with a madness chewing at his guts.
He either manned the fuck up and did what his woman needed from him or he sat down and let someone worthier of her take over.
And he’d let another man do his job over his dead, rotten corpse.
His phone buzzed, and he fished it out of his pocket. A smirk etched up his lips all on its own.
Gia: I missed you in bed. See you later?
She included a swarm of affectionate emojis as always.
He was gonna have a coronary through his hard dick right there in the truck with his boys watching on. But he couldn’t stop his thumbs from moving on the screen.
Hawk: Yeah, my little bit. Soon.
She’d had no clue where he’d gone to tonight and if it were up to him he wouldn’t be telling her any time soon. His first job; protect his old lady.
The thumping in his chest increased.
His old lady.
There was a direct rousing just beneath her skin, a power-driven crackle of awareness and acceptance of knowing whatever happened in the next few hours he wanted one thing and only one thing.
Decision fucking made.
It was the reason he hung around the club after they’d dumped the bodies off with the pigs up at the pen they kept high in the mountains. Those things ate everything from bones to innards, no trace of Russians would be left behind.
He took a shower to wash off the smell of death, it was closing on dawn by the time he was done, and he had another hour or so before Rider arrived for the day.
“Law said it went well.” His prez remarked when he first strode through the doors, closely followed by his old lady carrying the baby strapped to her chest. The pair kissed, Hawk averted his eyes, and he replied only when Rider’s girl had taken off down to the kitchen.
He didn’t get the sick belly roiling he once did in front of her, but he wasn’t altogether comfortable with her either.
Hawk nodded and fell in to step with Rider.
“Steele said the same. Had a call from Axel late last night.” The President of the smaller MC operation The Diablo Disciples. Not really foe but neither friend either. Rider used them only if and when, but a few months previous Axel contacted the club to put Rider in the picture about a possible snitch somewhere along the chain of command in his club because the ATF were crawling up their asses over petty shit. The RS operated on a whole other frequency to most MC’s.
No one liked the Diablo leader much. The Butcher didn’t, that was a fact seeing on how Tad poked at Axel’s barely legal baby girl and found himself beat to fuck over it a few years back. Getting with someone from another MC wasn’t the best fucking idea.
Tensions between the clubs ever since had been rough, but Diablo’s were the tiny fish in RS’s big pond and wouldn’t dare step the fuck on Rider’s toes.
“What did the windbag want this time?”
“Two more of his guys got pulled in over the weekend for blow.”
“My heart bleeds,” sarcasm dripped from Hawk’s mouth.
The ruthless morning sun nearly blinded when they turned a corner and headed into Rider’s office. Hawk shuffled across to the window and pulled the blind down until his retinas returned to normal. “If he’s got a fox in his hen house that’s on him for being a shit prez. But I’m getting what you’re not saying, Ri. You think we gotta keep a closer eye on what we do.”
The bunkers up in the mountains was a thriving business for the downright shady. For a price anything could be hidden down there. It would take one police raid and they’d all do time in the big house.
Rider hmmed and plonked himself in a chair. “We’ll sort this Russian invasion out first, then we’ll see what’s happenin’ with the ATP. Grinder’s contacts in the police have nothing so far, no one is looking at us more than they usually are. Not really bothered about them taking the Diablo’s down, but if they sing like sopranos it just means they’ll be looking at us.”
After a minute went by Hawk chose his moment. “Look. I know it’s shit timing, with Rex and the bratva, but I wanted to talk to you about something. Tell you something, really.”
Rider cocked his head back. Astute, always had been even when they were more than just boys with no chest hair.
Hawk remembered clearly the night he met Rider, how he’d taken Hawk, who’d been living rough for two years at that point, to get some fast food and offered him a bed and then weeks later an opportunity to prospect for the club. Seemed a life time ago and yet only yesterday. Rider was the one Hawk trusted first so it seemed like a kick in the fucking guts to feel like he was betraying that friendship.
“The way you’re stalling makes me fuckin’ edgy, man. Out with it so I can go grab breakfast with my girls.”
Hawk shifted on his thick, buckled boots and fisted his hands down into the front pockets of his jeans. Rider hadn’t questioned why suddenly Hawk was sporting a new tidier beard and hair, or why he disappeared all hours of the day and night or why he wasn’t sticking around for the parties. They weren’t the kinda friends who talked vanity or even gossiped. When they spoke, it was about shit that mattered, usually about the club so it probably never occurred to his friend a woman was involved.
“I’m seeing Gia.” He said. Eyes never wavering from Rider’s blues.
After a beat. “Okay?” Rider answered slowly, not getting it. Maybe he assumed as his shrink. Wouldn’t that be a barrel of laughs.
Hawk rounded his shoulders and inhaled hard enough to suck up crumbs from the floor. “I’m seeing her, Rider. I suppose she’d call it dating—”
He got no further. Rider jumped to his feet like he’d been fired up the ass with a ten-foot pole. His face no longer blank, he resembled thunder chewing on a wasp. “Is this a fuckin’ joke, Hawk? You better be fuckin’ pullin’ my goddamn third leg right the fuck now.”
“Nope. Not a joke. And before you think about putting me through the wall, which I’d stop you doing, by the way,” Rider growled at him. “Let me just put it all out there and be fucking honest with you, right?”
“Honest? Fuckin’ honest! What the fuck is this shit, Hawk? You’re seeing my sister? Since the fuck when?”
Hawk rolled a hand over the back of his neck. Did he tell the real truth and say he’d been seeing her for ten years, only no one knew then or the other real truth and admit it had been a few weeks already?
He went all in, giving the condensed version of wanting her when she was more than a baby, but they’d only gotten together these past weeks. Might as well be slaughtered for a sheep as a fucking psycho.
Hawk had never said so many fucking words all at once before. His tongue was in shock.
Twenty years he’d known the man in front of him. The same man rounding the wide oak desk with eyes raging fire at him, hissing from clenched teeth Hawk felt he didn’t know Rider at all. Yet had wholly expected the reaction.
Who the fuck would be happy he was dating their sibling?
He’d tried to tell Gia this was a bad idea, hadn’t he? He was bad news for everyone.
It was almost comical to pin point Rider’s reaction down to the last inch. And because the men were so in sync with each other’s idiosyncrasies he could presume Rider was counting down in his head to stop from reaching out and knocking Hawk’s face off.
“She wants me, who the fuck knows why. I tried to stop it. I tried for ten fucking years, Ri. A whole fucking decade, I tried not to want her for many fucking fucked up reasons that doesn’t stand now. She won’t let me push her away and I don’t want to anymore.”
With his arms folded Rider approached putting the two men on the same height level. Hawk wasn�
��t fooled into assuming he was relaxed. He might be a dumb fuck, but he recognized anger.
“All the chicks with more than willing pussies we get through those fucking doors and you latch onto my sister…” Rider said, teeth clenched. “You’re fuckin’ my sister and only just telling me this shit now? I had you watching her to keep her safe!”
Hawk felt his belly get hot. He didn’t like the way he was talking about Gia that way. “If that’s the way you wanna put it.”
Rider burst with anger. “What fuckin’ other way is there to put it, you dick! My goddamn sister. You’ve got to be fuckin’ kidding. This shit, whatever fuckin’ fantasy you got goin’ on stops now, you fuckin’ hearin’ me? It stops now.”
Like hell it does.
“You don’t get to decide, brother. I was giving you the courtesy of letting you know what’s happening with us.”
That only made Rider angrier.
Shoulder checking him, Rider threw open the door and yelled for Zara who appeared out of the kitchen still clutching that kid of theirs.
“What on earth…” she asked, looking between them as Hawk followed at a slower pace with hands shoved into his back pockets.
“Call Gia and tell her to get her ass here right now,” Rider issued to his old lady then fired Hawk a look dark enough to peel the skin off his bones. “If you’ve got any fuckin’ sense left in that brain of yours you’ll stay the fuck out of my way for a minute.”
“Brother…”
Rider halted, turned on his heel, and pointed a finger. “Thin fuckin’ ice right now. You wanna keep your fuckin’ patch keep your goddamn brother to yourself.” And with Zara trailing behind as Rider plucked the kid from her and tucked her into his chest the pair left him there standing by the bar, eyeballs on him from everywhere.
A thick banded chain lodged around Hawk’s throat.
He recognized it as guilt.
Shame.
Sick.
Depraved.
Evil.
The words swirled like mist around his eyes.
“What’s crawled up my nephew’s ass, son?” Asked Jed behind him.
Without turning Hawk pulled out his phone to do his own calling, he could at least give Gia fair warning. “Nothing much. He just found out I’m dating Gia.”
Seeing as Jed was also Gia’s uncle too, Hawk figured he’d be in for another lecture, but the old weathered man threw back his gray spiked head and cracked knuckles on the bar top. “’bout damn time. I’ll make coffee while we wait for Rider to cool off.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
“The choices of a VP aren’t that difficult when it comes to her.” – Hawk
“I’m tired of faking it, Ri. Bone fucking tired of pretending I haven’t wanted Gia all these years. And more fucked up she somehow wants me back. You know how goddamn sickening it is to realize just who my gut was wanting and to know I’d be betraying you somehow ‘cause of it?”
Gia wasn’t coming any time soon, she hadn’t been surprised by the news, she even laughed and said Rider would get over it. But she had work to do so she’d blown him a fucking kiss down the phone and said she’d see him at lunch time.
His stomach tightened with eagerness of seeing her hours from now and that first smile she’d offer to him like she’d missed him too. He had a mind to ride over to her new little office space she’d rented and fuck her over the desk he’d hauled up two flights of stairs and see how ridiculously happy she was then.
“I gotta weigh in that you bein’ you, didn’t factor in the club in all this when you thought you could fuck my family and wonder that it wouldn’t fuckin’ matter to me.”
Hawk gusted a sigh. Not anger per say, but it wasn’t far off because Rider was right in a way. He’d crossed lines. Lines he didn’t fucking care about. “You wanna quit fucking talking about her in that tone? It’s not like that, she’s not a damn groupie. She’s not one of the bitches who spread for anyone in hopes of catching an old lady patch. She’s not someone to unload in and discard.”
“Don’t tell me you’re serious.” Scoffed Rider and then changed his tone to kiss his kid’s head and whisper something to her to make her bat her tiny fists at him. “You forget I know you.”
Their boys started gathering like nosy vultures an hour ago when Hawk got sick of working on an engine outside and came to find the boss again to sort this shit out.
Hawk’s eyes narrowed. His reputation may be monstrously shit but even Rider must know he wouldn’t mess with Gia for a fast fuck. “You think I’m not?”
“I thought you were someone who wouldn’t screw with my sister, so what do I know.” And then Rider hit home hard, as only his best friend could, because no fucker on earth knew more about Hawk then Rider did. “You fail to recall I know the shit you’ve pulled with chicks over the years, the amount you’ve had. You really think I want that for my goddamn baby sister? Fuck you for assuming I’d be good about this no matter if you told me now, three weeks ago or ten fuckin’ years ago.” Bile gathered in his lower intestines and made nausea strike at all Hawk’s weak points. “Does Gia know how you are with women? How many you’ve had? What the fuck you do with ‘em?”
A tick worked Hawk’s jaw and for a split dark second, he could see himself really hurting the only man to have ever stood at his side knowing everything about him.
He knew that would be next, wouldn’t it? Rider would bring her up next…
“You divulged your fucking history to the girl? You were right there with me having your own fucking bitches on their backs. We’re not fucking perfect. Gia knows that, so don’t spout your hypocrite bullshit to me, Rider.”
Rider made a noise in the back of his throat. It seemed a ridiculous conversation to have, what with him holding a something-month-old kid in his arms at the time.
Now the clubhouse main room looked like a damn circus, what with Preacher supping on soda and throwing back chips and Grinder sharing candy with Capone and Arson who had his feet kicked up on one of the tables.
The fuck did they think his life was, a day time soap opera? Assholes.
It was only Tag who wandered in from the shop, oil stained hands and clothes, heard the shit Rider was yelling at him, and turned to head back outside. At least Prince Charming had some respect.
He faced his president. “If you’re asking me to make a choice between being in the club or having a life with her because you can’t accept it. I’ll give you my cut back right now. It’s not a choice for me. It’ll kill me to give this back to you, you know what the club means to me. She means more.”
That seemed to settle in the air, breaths sucked in with shock, his words rang in his own ears but rather than regret, they gave Hawk some peace.
She meant more.
It was that fucking simple.
******
With everyone’s backs turned, Gia was able to slip into the massive clubhouse undetected except for Uncle Jed who winked at her.
“You’ll watch your fuckin’ mouth.” She was in time to hear growled by her brother. She didn’t know in what context, but it was more than obvious things were heated between him and Hawk and had been for some time. Rider was leaning against a wall, Hawk was by the bar. And every biker who’d ever come through those doors appeared to be around all at the same time. No doubt to watch the Prez and VP bickering show.
Men. They never truly grew up.
Okay, she could give Rider the act of surprise, but it was more than three hours since Hawk called her, and they were still glowering at each other? Seriously.
Hawk glared in equal hard-edged measure.
It was like witnessing modern day gladiators squaring off with each other.
Gia caught Zara’s smile and shoulder shrug.
Hawk spat back. “If you wanted a yes man to bow and scrape to the high and mighty Rider Marinos then whistle for a fucking prospect. I’ve always spoken my mind to you. I’m not gonna change it now. I get it, I overstepped a buncha fucking brother rules.
You want my fucking cut back? You wanna make this a club situation instead of something personal? Then be a fucking man and say so, Prez, stop little bitch pouting over something that isn’t your fucking business.”
“Fuck you. You know what? Go fuck yourself if you can’t see how fuckin’ fucked up this is. My sister, man! My goddamn sister and you couldn’t tell me.”
“What would you have said if I’d told you I wanted her?”
“I would have told you to climb on one of your many fuckin’ bitches and get over it.”
Gia sucked in a breath, feeling the pain of that in her chest.
Rider stared him dead in the eye, serious as a tumor and twice as mad, fury in his unblinking stare. In all honesty she’d figured Rider would have a problem with them, but to act like their dad … now that came as a surprise. She wasn’t a damn kid, and neither was Hawk. She could take care of her own emotions, thank you.
Gia felt like she needed to chime in here before their war with words escalated between the two friends. A twinge of guilt hit her belly knowing she caused this. “Yeah, your sister. Your very grown up capable of her own decisions sister so if this chest pounding is for my sake it’s unwarranted. If you’re butthurt I’m taking your best friend away, then get over it.”
She placed her purse on the bar and sidled up to Hawk, sliding her hand on his waist letting him know she was there. He turned and nearly smiled.
A nearly-smile from Hawk was magic and heaven and she beamed at him.
“Hi.”
“Hey,” he croaked and canted his head as if he was going to kiss her but changed his mind mid descent. Dammit.
Just like that her brother’s gaze turned towards her and for the first time probably in her life she felt a shiver of the coldness he gave off to other people.
The biker president glare to convey everyone to stay the fuck away from him if they knew what was good for them.