“Hey.” He takes a seat next to me. “That’s not true.”
“Will, when I was sick with leukemia as a kid and went through all those treatments, he never even came to the hospital. Not one time. When I asked my mom why he wasn’t there, she said it was because he had to work. But honestly? I think he just can’t stand to see weakness in any form. To him, I was the broken child.”
Will looks stunned. “I didn’t know he never visited you.”
“He wasn’t even there for my mom. He left her—and me—to deal with everything alone. Growing up, it was always all about Sully. I love my brother, but it was hard to live in his shadow.”
He threads his hand through mine. “Em, I’m just not sure he knows how to be a father to a girl. He’s never had a sister, and his mother died when he was young, right? That’s no excuse, but maybe having a girl scared him because he thought he couldn’t relate to you.”
“I know. I think that’s why I was such a tomboy growing up. Part of me wanted him to see past the fact that I was a girl, you know? I just wanted him to see me as his child. I tried to make that as easy as possible for him, but it never worked. He just sees me as weak.”
Will lifts my chin with his finger. “Stop. You’re not weak. I won’t let you cut yourself down like that. You’ve been dealing with a lot over the past two years, and he’s just too lost in his own personal shit to see it.”
God, I adore this man. I wrap him in a hug, and he kisses the top of my head.
“Not to change the subject, but I have to go flip the kabobs. Will you go grab us two beers from the fridge?”
“Gladly,” I say, desperate to put an end to this conversation. I love that Will is so sweet and supportive, but I don’t want to talk about my father right now.
Twenty minutes later, we sit down to a lovely dinner. The sun is slowly sinking over the horizon, and the outside solar lights around the small deck area begin to glow.
Will takes a swig of his beer and studies me. “Are you still thinking about getting your Dad’s girlfriend to help you?”
“I don’t know. It’s probably my last hope.”
“What happens if you don’t go back to New York City? If you just say fuck it and stay in Toronto? What can he do about it?”
I admit, I’ve thought of taking that approach. But deep down, I know why I haven’t. I’ve just never said it to anyone out loud. No one saw how my father looked at me that day we had dinner in New York City. The disappointed, disgusted expression on his face is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
“Because if I do that, it will be all over between my dad and me. Will, he can barely stand to look at me anymore. When we met up in New York during one of his business trips… well, it wasn’t good. I think it’s worse now, because I remind him of my mom, and he hates her.” I glance over at Will. “He’s never told me that he loves me, and if I do that, I’m afraid he won’t feel it anymore, either.”
“Jesus, Em. I had no idea.”
I push my empty plate away. “The pride Dad has for Sully is obvious, you know? That’s his boy. His athletic wonder and the rightful heir to the Sullinger name. Sully’s a winner. He’s strong, fast, smart, and talented.” I pause. “And then there’s me. I’ve always had to work harder in school. I’m petite and fragile because of the treatments I had when I was a kid. I’m just a complete disappointment in his eyes.”
Will is at my side in an instant. “There’s nothing wrong with you,” he says fiercely. “Nothing.”
“He’s told me a few times over the past two years that I’m my mother’s child. If that doesn’t say exactly how he feels, nothing does.”
“I see you, Em,” he says, tipping my chin up with his finger. “I see everything that you are. Your sweetness, your compassion. How you give your all to something, even when it’s not something you want to do. I see how you worry about everyone else’s feelings but your own.” He pauses. “I watched your ZeeTube channel, you know.”
I jerk my head up in shock. “You did? When?”
“After you fell asleep last night. I looked it up on my iPad. I don’t know shit about makeup or whatever, but it’s great. You’re good at explaining all that stuff, and you have a real presence in front of the camera. Plus, I actually learned things.”
My heart leaps in my chest. “Do you mean it? You aren’t just saying that?”
“Hell yeah I mean it.” He grins. “If anyone needs me to do a dramatic smoky eye look in a hurry, I could make that happen after watching your tutorial.”
I wipe the tears from my eyes and let out a snort of laughter. “You could, huh?”
“Yep. And if you tell any of the guys I said that, I’ll take you back to the treehouse and leave you there.”
I cross my heart and smile. “Your secret is safe with me, big bad hockey player.”
“My point is that you’re amazing, Em. You’ve got your own thing going on. Who gives a fuck if you don’t want to be a lawyer? You’re a badass in your own right, and you deserve a chance to show the world what you’ve got.”
I’m beyond emotional right now. Will believes in me, and he always has. I’ve lost count of the number of times he’s been my sole support system while I was in New York City.
“Thank you so much,” I say softly, kissing his cheek. “From the bottom of my heart. It means so much to me.”
“Always, Em.” He stands and hands me a bottle of wine and two glasses before reaching out to flip a switch on the side of the house. Twinkling lights softly illuminate the backyard.
“Take these to the tent, would you? I’ll clean up our dishes and meet you there.”
“Okay.” My heart beats faster at the thought of being alone with him. Just me and Will, wine, and a tent in the darkness.
He bends down and gives me a soft kiss. “I’ll shut this light off once you’re inside. And don’t worry, there’s no spiders in there. I promise.”
After he goes into the house, I unzip the tent and turn on the little lantern. The floor of the tent is so thick with blankets and comforters that it feels like I’m walking on a cloud. I won’t need to worry about a rock or stray stick digging into my back.
I hear the sliding glass door close a few minutes later and then the soft sound of Will’s footsteps as he walks through the yard. I’ve been waiting for this all day, and it’s finally here.
A slow smile spreads across his face as he unzips the tent and climbs inside. He dims the lantern and takes a seat next to me. I hand him the glass of wine I’ve poured and notice my hands are shaking.
“Hey. You’re trembling, Sunshine.” He strokes a hand down my cheek. “Everything okay?”
“Right now, everything’s perfect,” I say softly, reaching up to touch the dark blonde stubble grazing his jaw. He leans in to kiss me, and I slide my arms around his neck.
Losing myself in Will’s kisses is easy. Though I can’t shake the feeling that things will never be this perfect again, tonight’s not a night for holding back. I’m going to enjoy every second I have with Will.
Worrying will have to wait.
Chapter Sixteen
WILL
Emmy breaks our kiss and looks up at me with those beautiful green eyes. I’m worried, because despite her saying things are fine, she’s still trembling in my arms.
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” I tell her, taking her hands in mine. “Like I said before, there isn’t any going back.”
I fight to keep my expression neutral, because I haven’t been able to think about much else besides this moment all damn day. I’m afraid it’s slipping away right before my eyes, and it’s going to cut me so damn deep if she’s changed her mind.
Emmy reaches out and places her palm against my cheek. “No. You’re all I want,” she says, her voice soft. “I’m just excited and a little nervous, that’s all.”
“We can still take it slow if that’s what you need. I’ll do anything you want me to, Em. Anything.”
&n
bsp; I mean it, too. I’d do all that shit dudes sing about in those cheesy love songs. Climb the highest mountain. Swim the deepest sea. Whatever the fuck those guys go on about, that’s what I’d do for her right now.
“I don’t want to go slow anymore.”
Emmy goes to her knees and pulls her t-shirt over her head, revealing a lacy purple bra. She keeps her eyes on my face as she unbuttons her jean shorts and slides them down her legs. The matching purple bottoms she’s wearing tie at the sides, and the dainty little bows rest along the gentle curve of her hips.
I draw in a ragged breath as she finishes her little striptease. I can’t do anything but stare at her right now, because she’s that damn beautiful. Inside and out, she’s radiant. She’s always been the bright light in my darkness.
Emmy Sullinger is the only girl I’ve ever really wanted. I’ve had girlfriends before and slept with other women, but I’ve never had this kind of longing for another person before. The desire to be with her like this, after we’ve connected on every other level two people could connect, is the missing piece of the puzzle I’ve been searching for the past three years. It’s finally right here in front of me, and I can fit it into place.
It’s almost too much for me to process fully. Soon, I’m the one shaking as I pull her against my body. I can’t bear another second of distance between us.
Emmy sighs softly as our mouths meet, and our kisses quickly become desperate and full of a type of urgency that I’ve never experienced before. They’re not the soft, sweet kisses I thought we’d find together, but our desire is simply too strong to consider slowing down.
I ease her back onto the pile of blankets and fight to regain some of my control, but it’s not easy. The girl of my dreams is running her fingers through my hair, down my arms, and making the sweetest little gasps of pleasure.
I slide my hand down her hip and tug gently on one of the delicate little bows to untie it. Emmy stills in my arms as I do the same to the other side.
“Will, wait.”
I freeze, genuine fear stealing over me that I’ve gone too far, too fast. “What do you need, sweetheart?”
“I need you to get undressed, too.”
Stifling my sigh of relief, I sit up and tug my t-shirt over my head before tossing it to the side of the tent. I get to my knees and undo the button and zipper of my jeans, yanking them off quickly. As much as I appreciated watching her slowly strip off her clothes, my patience is too far gone to do anything but get as naked as I can, as fast as possible.
It doesn’t seem to matter, though. After I undress, Emmy’s hot gaze lingers between my legs. She reaches out and runs her fingers over my cock. I shudder and bite back a groan as she starts to stroke me. I didn’t think it was possible that I could get any harder, but I was wrong.
Emmy gets back up on her knees, and our mouths meet in a slow, deep kiss. Her hand feels too damn good. If she keeps going like this, I’m going to come, and this will be over before it ever had a chance to begin.
I break the kiss, and she looks up at me with that dreamy expression again. That look really gets to me. It makes me want to take her right now and say to hell with the foreplay. But I’m not that guy. I’ll never be that guy.
“Lie back, sweetheart.”
She sinks into the pillows, and I trail kisses along her body until I settle between her legs. A look of worry, though brief, passes over her delicate features.
I’m curious about that look, because I suspect her idiot ex-boyfriend has a lot to do with it. But Aidan’s the last person I want in her head right now.
She’s soft and wet for me, and I want those sexy legs wrapped around my shoulders. I glide my tongue along her inner thigh until I’m right where I want to be—kissing and tasting her as I’ve only done in my dreams.
“Oh, Will.” She sighs as my tongue slides along her pussy, and she opens her legs wider to give me better access. Her soft moans and tiny gasps as I bury my face in all of her sweetness are almost too much to bear. I’m teetering on the edge of control, and I’m greedy for her. I could stay right here forever, touching and kissing her like this.
“Em,” I gasp, teasing my tongue along her clit. “You’re so fucking sweet, honey. So sweet.”
Emmy lifts her hips and tugs on my hair, and I battle down another surge of lust. She’s fucking loving this.
“It feels so good,” she whispers.
I slide one finger inside of her, and she lets out a small cry as I begin to stroke her slow and steady. Christ, this is hot. I can’t take my eyes off of her face—her reactions are so real and raw.
She whimpers as I slide in another finger and then gasps when I go deep.
“Will.”
My name is a soft plea on her lips, and it makes me feel invincible.
I curl my fingers upward and begin to stroke her faster. Soon, her soft, shaky breaths give way to high, needy cries. She arches her back and gasps my name, then gasps again as her pussy squeezes my fingers over and over, flooding them with her wet heat as she comes apart.
“Oh fuck yeah,” I groan, fighting the urge to come right along with her.
She sags back against the blanket, breathing hard, her dark hair spilling across the pillow. It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.
Stretching out next to her, I prop myself up on my elbow and gaze down at her pretty face. Her cheeks are flushed, and the pulse in her neck flutters wildly. I lean over and press a soft kiss there.
I’m desperately on edge after seeing her let go, but I’m not going to rush this. I need a minute to cool down anyway. After watching her fall apart beneath me like that, I’ll probably last all of sixty seconds. I’ll make it up to her later, though. I can’t believe I get to fuck her all damn night. It’s going to be pure heaven.
Emmy rolls over to face me, and the dreamy expression makes a repeat appearance. Damn. I’m never going to get tired of that look.
“Kiss me,” she says, her voice breathy and soft. “Please kiss me, Will.”
“Anything you want, sweet girl.”
This time, things go as I had originally planned. Soft and sweet. Unhurried.
We kiss for a long time, until Emmy begins running her hands restlessly along my arms. She rolls onto her back, and I slide on top of her, supporting my weight with my elbows as I place tiny kisses along her jawline. I’m so hard right now it’s nearly painful.
“Em, honey. I want you so much.” I slip my hand down between her legs and tease my fingers along her clit.
She closes her eyes and draws in a ragged breath. “Get the condoms.”
I sit back on my heels and pull a condom from the strip I tucked in the back pocket of my jeans. Maybe I was a bit optimistic bringing all of these, but after last night I wanted to be prepared. I rip the packet open and roll it down over my erection.
A spark of heat flares in her eyes as I give myself a stroke.
“You’re so sexy,” she murmurs, reaching up and teasing her fingers through the back of my hair. “I’m a lucky girl.”
“Nowhere near as lucky as I am,” I say honestly. I feel like I’ve won the damn lottery.
“C-can you go slow at first?” Her voice shakes as I settle between her thighs and slide my cock along her slick entrance. “I’ve never been with... I mean, you’re bigger than—”
“I promise, baby.”
Christ, I’m barely holding it together. I’ve thought about this moment so many times over the past three years. I can’t believe it’s really here.
Her eyes lock on mine as I slowly push inside of her. I don’t get far before she whimpers and tenses up around me. The pressure is nearly too much.
“Relax, honey,” I breathe, kissing her neck. “Relax for me.”
She takes a deep breath and drops her legs open a little more. I slide forward another inch, but she tenses up around me once again. She’s so nervous, she’s shaking.
“Em, I want you so much,” I whisper. “Do you want me?”
She
opens her eyes, and I see that spark of desire again. “I do. I want you too, Will.”
I cup her face and bring her mouth to mine. I let it all go, kissing her with everything I have and everything I’ve felt for years.
“Get lost in this with me,” I whisper between kisses. “I’ve thought about you all day, Em. What it would be like to make you come. But you have to let me in. It’s the only place I want to be, sweetheart.”
She looks up at me, her eyes wet and shining with emotion, and I slowly sink all of the way inside.
“Ohhhh,” she murmurs.
I fight off a shudder as I try to get myself under control. She’s tight and wet and so damn perfect. It’s so much better than any of my fantasies.
Her lips meet mine again, and we find a slow, gentle rhythm together. Emmy makes a soft little noise as I go deep. The reality of this—that I’m finally inside of her and that we’re really fucking—hits me hard.
“Em.” I grab her hips, holding her tight as I grind against her. It means I’m going even deeper than before, but fuck, I can’t help it. I’m never going to get close enough.
Her breathing shifts, and she makes a soft, desperate sound deep in her throat. When she lifts her hips to meet my thrusts, seeking more of me, I know she needs this just as badly as I do.
Her fingers drift lightly along my back, and I’m suddenly hit with the realization that I’m more than just crazy about Emmy. What I feel for her isn’t some lingering teenage crush. It’s way more than just pure desire or simple want.
I’m in love with her. Totally, completely, in love with her.
This realization brings me equal parts despair and joy. Joy, because this is the happiest I’ve ever been—right here in this moment with her. Despair, because this can’t last. When Sully and our friends arrive at the cottage, our time together is done. These stolen moments are all we can ever have.
I need to make the most of it. I need to commit everything to memory because soon that’s all I’ll have—memories.
“Emmy,” I rasp, stroking her face. “You need to know that you’re everything, Sunshine. You’re everything.” It’s all I can say. I can’t tell her that I love her. She’s not ready for that. This moment doesn’t mean the same thing to her as it does to me.
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