by Skye Jones
He shuddered. “I detest it. I’ll never go back.”
Kayley hated appearing insensitive to what he’d been through. “I’m sorry. I’m guessing something bad happened to you there, and I must have sounded flippant.”
“It’s okay.” He reached out and held her hand. “I disliked it way before the bastard that fucked me up ever came into my life. It’s cold and damp and gray and gets about ten days of sunshine a year. I love the heat and sun.”
“You must adore Alaska, then?” She chuckled, thinking of the wet, cold springs.
“Actually, I do, but only because Alaska has Luke. This is my sort of place.” He gave a happy sigh. “I went to Alaska for a reason. I didn’t think anyone would look for me there.” His smile fell. “I belonged to a very old pack, one of the oldest in the world. My parents were high up in the hierarchy, and the alpha could be harsh and cold. There’d been a long battle between our pack and a neighboring one, the Crows. They were given that name because all their wolves were jet black. The alpha of the Crows was legendary for his cruelty and his…appetites.”
“You don’t have to tell me if it’s too painful.” She squeezed his hand.
“I don’t dwell on it too much, but I can face it now, can talk about it. Mostly.”
She admired his stance. Her ordeal still overwhelmed her, so fresh in her mind that opening up about it meant living through it all over again.
“We lost many members during the war between our peoples and our numbers became so low we grew weak. Then one day I went to a meeting between the senior members of both packs. Both alphas were present and my father, who worked as a pack enforcer, took me along to record the minutes. He viewed me a terrible failure for not becoming an enforcer myself. My nature was too analytical for that kind of role. I questioned things, examined the evidence too carefully. Enforcers act on orders, they don’t think.”
He paused for a moment and reached for the bottle of water poking out from under her towel. Uncapping it, he took three long slugs before setting it back down.
“The Crows’ alpha kept staring at me, all the way through the meeting. He made me so uncomfortable I don’t know how I managed to sit still and not bolt out the door.” He gave a bitter laugh. “If I’d done that, though, Father would have disowned me on the spot.”
“Really?” She couldn’t imagine a parent doing that to their child so easily.
“Image and status were everything and to do something so against protocol would not be overlooked. A week later my father called me into a meeting with our alpha where they told me that I’d be going to live with the Crows, as a sort of peace envoy.”
A dead weight settled in Kayley’s stomach, as part of her shrank away from hearing what came next, but Sean carried on talking. His voice took on a cool distance, and his face held no discernible expression.
“When I arrived in the godforsaken lands they lived in, I immediately got summoned to meet their alpha. His name was James McFarlane, and he sat me down next to him and proceeded to tell me, quite calmly, how my pack had traded me to be his mate for his signature on a peace treaty.”
Despite guessing something terrible would be forthcoming, Sean’s admission drew a horrified cry out of Kayley. He glanced briefly at her and gave a tight smile before carrying on.
“My father knew I generally preferred men, you see. Shifters are bisexual but, until you, I’ve always preferred men. In many packs, shifters can choose their mates from either sex. Within our pack, however, you could fuck who you wanted but could only mate the opposite sex. There was no woman I wanted to take as a life partner,” he sighed and combed through his wavy hair with a shaky hand. “I refused to hide who I was and for that my family resented me.
“McFarlane was known for his voracious sexual appetites, shifter or human, willing or not, it didn’t matter. He’d never taken a mate, but he’d taken one look at me and decided I would be his. My father agreed, glad to get rid of his embarrassment of a son.”
“Oh Sean. I’m so sorry.” Kayley couldn’t imagine the horror. The cowardice the action showed in Sean’s parents sickened her.
She looked at the blond man lying next to her, and her sense of admiration grew as the knowledge of what he’d endured wrapped itself around her heart. “Did he treat you at all well?” Already suspecting the answer, her breath stalled.
“He raped me that first night and most nights after. When an alpha takes you, a bond is created. Even if you hate them, the bond is there once they’ve claimed you, or mated you, or whatever the hell different packs choose to call it. Most alphas make sure their chosen partner wants to be bonded before they take them, that way the mating will be a success. If you choose to force someone, they’ll still be bound to you, still want you, but it’s not like love. It can be hellish if you didn’t want it and some mates taken in that way have killed themselves as the only form of escape. After that first night, I half-detested him and half-wanted him.”
He shook his head and trailed a finger slowly up and down her arm. She welcomed the contact; his face still held that granite, locked down look but his touch was gentle.
“I hated him for being such a detestable person, so cruel, and yet I still craved him in some elemental way. It almost drove me insane. He’d hurt me and beat me but when he took me later I’d still come. I couldn’t leave, the bond was too strong. I’d never experienced anything like it before, hadn’t been prepared or warned how powerful it could be.”
Kayley couldn’t stop the tears that spilled down her cheeks. The calm of the quiet, sunny, beach slipped away as she joined Sean, thousands of miles away and many years ago in a darker, colder, lonelier place. In that moment, she shared his fear, his sadness, and the still raw anger. Not sure what such a deep connection meant, she did not, for once, second guess herself and instead allowed it to flow within her, knowing that he needed her right then.
“He took great pleasure in tormenting me. He focused on me in the sickest way, wanted me, needed to possess me, but didn’t care for me. Our mated bond meant he never got bored of me, or desired others anymore, so I never received a break from his twisted attentions.”
“How did you get away?”
Sean paused, opened his mouth, and then shut it again before once more starting to speak. “He did…something. Pushed me too far and I couldn’t stay any longer. At the time, the Crows had a visitor who witnessed the…event. He told me he could set me free, for a price of course. I possessed jewels, leathers, all sorts of finery.” Sean looked down at the white sand as his face flushed a deep red under his golden tan. “James used to dress me up like his toy. He’d cover me in jewels and gold and silk and make me parade around. I went to my room and gathered it all up to give the visitor, the mage.”
“Mage?” Good Lord! Did they really exist?
“Yes, a magic man. A very powerful one, as it happened. He cast a cloaking spell on me so that James wouldn’t be able to find me, and he lightened our bond, so I could leave without suffering too much pain. The cloaking spell wouldn’t last, but once far enough away James wouldn’t be able to track me. Everything about the modern world struck me as surreal. I’d spent seventy years with my pack of origin and another fifty with James’ pack, hidden away in the Scottish wilderness and in that time the world beyond had changed irrevocably. I had to get a fake passport sorted out—”
“Oh my God!” Kayley sat bolt upright, her mouth hanging open. She stared at him for the longest time, her mind whirling. “You’re over a hundred and twenty years old!”
Sean chuckled suddenly, the sound like music to her ears after all the sorrow. “I’m actually a hundred and fifty years old. When I was born there were no airplanes, and to escape from a life I couldn’t take anymore, I had to figure out how to get a passport, get to Edinburgh, and get on a plane the hell out of Scotland.”
“So you’ve been with Luke…thirty years?”
“No. I met him in 1993, but I didn’t mate with him until 1995. He befriended me firs
t of all, then he offered me a job, and I bit his hand off.” He flashed her his gorgeous smile. “Excuse the pun. I’d been working in a small family run store and relished the chance to do something else. I’d grown to learn I could trust him, that not all alphas were cruel and despotic. When I think what he went through, patiently waiting for me and fighting back his desire and need to claim me…”
“I’m glad you found one another.” Those damned tears were back, and she brushed them away.
“I’m glad we found you. We want you. But you need to know that Luke will never pressure you to join us, because he knows what I went through, what being mated against my will did to me.”
She didn’t speak, merely nodded before looking away out to sea. Kayley’s fear wasn’t that she’d be forced; her fear came from knowing how badly she desired it, too. Every rational part of her screamed that it couldn’t be, that she’d lost her mind, but her heart insisted it wanted these two men. Wanted to be tied to them in that unbreakable way the two already shared.
Sean glanced at the watch on his wrist and frowned. “We’ll have to head back soon. Luke will start to lose it if we’re really late.” He turned to her, and his gaze focused in on hers. “How are you? Really? How did you find it, coming here? It’s a long way when you’re not used to going farther than the city limits.”
“I got anxious some on the way. Alligator Alley’s pretty wild. All those miles of flat, straight tarmac and nothing but the Everglades either side.” A small shiver ran through her. “But I managed it, and it’s incredible here.”
She paused and took a deep breath. “I couldn’t have done it without you. The fact that I’m with you, it soothes me, and my fears don’t overwhelm me quite as much. I am missing Luke though, and that’s scaring me a bit. It’s like a craving. I still don’t think it’s natural to be so attached to someone so soon.”
“It is natural, for shifters. I feel that way about him every time we’re apart. Why you’re experiencing things so intensely, I’m not sure. You’re human, and I don’t know how it works for you if you start to bond with us. But why analyze it so much? If it feels good, why worry? You’ve done something today you wouldn’t have been able to a few months ago, so it’s not as if any of what’s happening is detrimental, it seems quite the opposite to me.”
“You’re right. I suppose I do analyze things to death. Yet here I am, out of Miami and on this amazing beach.”
“It’s stunning isn’t it?”
She wiggled her toes. “I still can’t get over this sand. It’s hot as sin today and yet the sand’s cool.”
“It’s white quartz, doesn’t heat up.” Sean pushed his toes out next to hers, wiggling his, too. She watched their feet for a moment and then giggled.
“What?”
“You! You’re sort of perfect you know? Even your feet are gorgeous. Most men have disgusting feet, but yours are nice.”
“Uh, thanks, I think.” His almost shy smile caused her pulse to flutter in her throat.
She glanced over to where Will floated, noted that he still faced out to sea, so feeling brave placed a fierce kiss on Sean’s lips. She pulled away when he groaned.
“Kayley, if you only knew how hard it is to control myself around you. I’ve never really wanted a woman before and here I am having to lock myself down tight so I don’t take you right here and now on this damned beach!”
Heat rushed through her, warming her blood more than the sun beating down. Sean spoke in a way she associated more with Luke, predatory and so very male. And she wanted him to take her on this beach, wanted it in the worst way.
“Keep saying things like that Sean and I might let you.”
“We’ll finish this later,” he growled in her ear, before jogging off down the beach to the water’s edge, calling out to Will.
* * * *
Luke stalked down the corridor to Kayley’s room. He’d been able to greet Sean in the way he wanted when the three of them returned from their long day out, but he’d not been able to hold or scent Kayley, not with Will standing there. With great effort, he’d stamped down his rising irritation with the young shifter. Luke wasn’t a father figure or a kindergarten teacher. He was the damn alpha. Constantly having to sort out the mess made by the newly turned wolf annoyed him, even when he knew Will couldn’t really help any of it. It took the whole day to replace the couch and the ornaments Will smashed during his panic attack. A whole day he’d been kept away from Kayley and Sean.
Nearing Kayley’s room, thoughts of Will fled his mind, her scent scrambling his brain until he could only focus on the female he craved. As he swung the door open, she glanced up at him, eyebrows raised. She stretched out on the bed with a glossy magazine in front of her, wearing a pair of Daisy Duke’s and a strappy top, which were doing nothing to hide the flesh he so coveted. For once Luke couldn’t read her expression, nor could he pick up her emotions. After meeting his gaze for a moment, she focused her attention back on her magazine.
“Hey.” Luke sat next to her and ran a finger up her smooth leg, unable to keep from touching her. The scent of her reached him and almost tore away his remaining control. His wolf paced and snapped, wanting to claim her. Luke ignored him as best he could and let his hand rest on her thigh, not pushing further. She sighed and pulled her leg away.
“Okay.” He regarded her closely. “What’s going on? Have I upset you?”
She stood and pushed the door shut before turning back to face him. Her heart rate kicked up and he could smell the adrenaline coursing through her system.
“What have you done to me?” She leaned into his space; her face so close it killed him not to reach out and kiss her, but he could judge by the tight angle of her jaw it would not be a good move.
“I haven’t done anything to you.”
“Bull!” She curled her hands into fists.
“I don’t know what you mean?” Luke was genuinely puzzled. What the hell had he done to deserve her anger? “What do you think I’ve done?”
“I dreamed of you both again the other night, after you visited me, but it was more than a dream. What I saw really happened, didn’t it? And you sensed me too; Sean told me as much. I wanted to come back here as soon as I awoke, but it took me time to screw up the courage. I’m scared of what’s happening to me.”
Her pupils dilated as she spoke and her voice shook. Fear rolled from her in waves. Not wanting to make matters worse, Luke paused to think for a moment. They’d not had a chance to talk since he’d sensed her presence in their room last night when making love with Sean. Kayley obviously possessed the ability to connect with them on some psychic level, and it seemingly grew stronger as they became closer. Should he tell her, or keep quiet in order not to spook her? One look at those wide-open eyes of hers, staring at him as if he were God himself, and Luke could only tell her the truth.
“I think you’re bonding with us. It means you’re linked to me…to us. I don’t know if you’ve got a general gift and could see other things if you opened your mind to it, or if it’s purely limited to us. My mom could help you figure it out though if you wanted that. She’d love it. She’s always at me to take lessons with her to build up my talent.”
Kayley nodded. “I’ve had other experiences in the past but nothing like this and not for a long time. Yet now I’m having all these dreams, which I can’t seem to stop. It’s not only that though. I can’t…I can’t stop thinking about you. Wanting you. Both of you.” She brought a hand to her face, rubbed over her eyes before carrying on. “It’s not normal when you’ve only known a person—persons—a few days. You’ve cast some sort of spell on me.”
Luke took hold of her free hand in both of his. Covering it, he relished the delicate feel of her bones and the soft skin against his calloused palms. “It’s not me that’s doing it honey. It simply is. As I said, you’re bonding with us, it’s kind of out of my control.”
“I don’t want to bond with you.”
Her words slammed into him,
making him ache. A weaker man would have bent double, clutching at his sides. Luke only watched her, fighting to keep his face impassive.
“You said I had a choice,” she whispered.
“You do. You can walk away; you can leave right now if you wish. Although,” he said with a smile, “you ought to find a really good hobby or take up running, because that’s about the only way to do it and not go mad with desire.”
“It scares me that I could lose myself to you, Luke.” Her eyes watched him, wide and alert.
“Oh, baby. Don’t you get it?” His heart ached for her, for her fear and her lack of knowledge of their world. “You don’t lose anything—you gain us. You don’t have to subvert your own personality and wants and desires for that to happen. As for your fear. I get it. I’m scared to death, too, terrified that you’ll walk away. And if that’s your choice, we’ll let you. But know this, no matter what you decide, you’ll always be welcomed by the pack, as Will’s cousin and our friend. And we’ll always be here for you if you need us.”
Luke could taste her desire to be with them on the air. She craved them both and that need wouldn’t go away. Whilst he might want her to choose to stay of her own accord, he wasn’t above playing dirty to try and persuade her.
He reached out and pulled her down onto the bed. Kayley gave a shocked squeal before pushing at him with her palms.
“What are you doing?”
“Giving you a welcome home hug.”
She lay on top of him, her weight so different to the heavier solidity of Sean. Her hair fell over his face and tickled his cheeks. He loved the silky sensation of it.
“Christ you’re beautiful.” He cupped her cheek with one hand and with the other brushed the hair back from her face, needing a good look at her. Then he pulled her down ‘til their lips touched.
Not wanting to rush this, wanting to savor the moment, he ghosted his lips over hers, relished the taste of the Strawberry lip balm she used. Her mouth felt cool and soft against his own as he snaked his tongue out and traced the contours. A gentle sigh told him she loved this as much as he did. Her lower body pressed more firmly against him, and he ground his hardness lazily into her. His fingers tightened in her hair as he pulled her closer, and their lips parted as they continued their languid exploration of one another.