by Jamie Summer
“Is there any reason you’ve made my favorite?” I asked, unable to keep the suspicion from my voice. This meal was usually reserved for holidays or when we had visitors.
“Considering the phone call you had to make and the fact a storm is on the horizon, threatening to destroy everything, I felt it was the right thing to cook.” There was a gentle smile on her face. I found myself smiling along.
“Seems like a pretty good reason.”
We stayed silent as we both filled our plates, then turned our focus to the food. I felt an uneasiness within Bridget. She pushed her food around, barely pushing anything past her lips.
She had never been good at hiding her feelings. It wasn't long before she asked the question burning in her mind.
“How did she take it?” she asked, her voice subdued.
While she seemed curious, I knew part of her didn't want to know.
Bridget had lived on this island her whole life, so she was familiar with Maddy and her history. Our history…or lack thereof. It was a messy subject.
“She was upset. I'm not sure I got through to her. I want to believe I did, but I have no idea who Maddy has turned into. She may not care about this island anymore.”
She nodded, which made the whole issue even worse.
There had always been a big cloud hanging over our relationship. Bridget knew that. As much as I tried to make it work, we both knew my heart was never completely in it. I had given it away a long time ago and had failed to make it whole again thus far.
She set down her fork. “She's a stubborn one, getting that from her father. She’ll be here, though. She loves this island, despite the pain it brought her. Of course, she won't tell you. Can you imagine getting a call from a person you haven't talked to in years, only for him to tell you all your childhood memories could be erased by Mother Nature, a force she knows could destroy everything she loves?”
I stared at Bridget, unable to reply. I had told Maddy exactly that.
“She’ll be here,” she repeated. “Give her a couple hours to think about what you told her. She needs to let it sink in.” Bridget put her hands in front of her mouth when she realized the words she used. I averted my gaze, not wanting to be reminded of the day Maddy lost her father and I lost one of the only people I had ever truly cared about.
I swallowed, trying to escape the images assaulting my mind, but it was impossible. Not even the simple task of eating helped. I tried to ignore my racing thoughts, to no avail.
I saw images of Maddy's father out on the boat, all by himself, a victim of a storm no one knew was coming. I saw Maddy at her dad’s funeral, tears running down her cheeks, and was transported back to the same helplessness I felt that day. There was no comfort anyone could offer her. None.
We quietly finished dinner. Afterward, I busied myself with some work before heading to bed. Bridget was asleep, but I couldn't bring myself to join her just yet. Instead, I walked to the window and stared out at the ocean, trying to keep my memories at bay. As they threatened to overwhelm me, I made my way over to the bed, lay down, and grabbed a magazine from my stack on the nightstand.
An incoming text alerted me to the fact the sound was still on. Grimacing as I reached for the phone, I glanced over at Bridget, who continued to sleep soundly.
My eyes scanned the message twice before relief settled within me.
I’ll be on the ferry tomorrow.
No greeting, no goodbye. Straight to the point. I knew it was how Maddy tried to distance herself. It had always been that way. The less emotion conveyed in a message, the less people were inclined to misunderstand intentions.
It didn't matter. What mattered was that she'd come.
She was finally coming home.
The ferry was supposed to arrive at the harbor at exactly eleven forty-two. I had informed some of the townspeople Maddy was coming, and as expected, they were all over the moon. Anna, who'd gone to school with Maddy and had been one of her closest friends, promised she and her mom, Grace, would pick her up from the dock. They’d been like a second family to Maddy, but not even they had managed to crack through the wall she built around herself after the incident.
I watched the clock all day. I couldn’t help it. Whenever I tried to busy myself with something, my eyes would inadvertently go back to the huge wall clock in our office.
My hands felt clammy. I wiped them on my jeans, hoping it would help. It didn't. I had no idea why I was so nervous. I was pretty certain Maddy would make no attempt to see me, but the mere prospect of her coming did something to me.
“Jake, can you check to see if we ordered enough food and non-perishables for the people wanting to stay? I’ve checked the list five times, but I feel like there should be another set of eyes on it,” my boss, Dustin, asked, handing me a stack of papers. Once the fishing company closed, I got a job at the local distributor. Dustin was an awesome boss, and I liked working for him well enough.
It was nothing compared to the hands-on work I did for Maddy's dad, but I never complained. It was a good job. They were so few and far between on the island, I was happy to have one at all.
I got up and exited the small office we worked in. Dustin knew I liked to work by the ocean. Our office was right next to it, so when I had paperwork to deal with, I usually ventured out and sat on the docks.
Today isn’t any different, I thought as I sat down on a boulder by the water. Me sitting here has absolutely nothing to do with the fact I’ll be able to see the ferry arrive.
Ten minutes into looking through the numbers, I heard the noise I’d been waiting for.
The ferry was small, barely able to transport a hundred people. Which was big enough when it came to Crystal Cove. Tourist season may be busy here, but it was far from the traffic the surrounding, much bigger islands got. It made the trip from the mainland once a day, only canceling when weather didn’t allow for it.
Despite my better judgment, I glanced up, seeing the boat approach.
What was going through Maddy’s mind? Would part of her be excited to be back?
I highly doubt it.
I was pretty certain she would love to run for the hills at this point.
I sighed, unhappy with myself. I wanted to squash the excitement coursing through me…and the rapid beating of my heart…and the fact that I was barely able to concentrate on work while the ferry made its way to the docks.
There was no way, though.
The heart always did what it wanted.
Chapter Three
Maddy
I didn't have enough time to prepare.
This is a pretty stupid idea.
I’m not ready.
When the island suddenly rose on the horizon, the thought of me setting foot on it made sweat bead on my skin.
It had been hard enough to get on the ferry in the first place. The mere thought of sailing over the ocean had me shaking, and only the soft words of a fellow passenger, an older gentleman on his way to the island for a day, encouraged me to get on. He had kept me busy with making me tell him stories about Crystal Cove, in general. We only stopped when the island came into view and both of us were mesmerized by its beauty.
I had forgotten what a gorgeous sight the island was. The huge cliffs and green landscape were every tourists’ dream. It was the reason people kept coming back, why people stayed.
The ferry inched closer, a few waves rocking the boat slightly. Usually, it wouldn't have bothered me. I used to love the waves and the power they held. Until two years ago.
“Thank you for making this journey a little less daunting for me, young lady.” The man smiled. I wanted to tell him he was the one who had saved me from a panic attack, but before I was able to, he made his way over to the side where we would dock.
I took a deep breath, recalling the stories I had told the man. The ones of a happy childhood. Of growing up by the ocean, the crystal-clear water never far away. I had to smile.
For two seconds. Then everything was crush
ed by the image of my dad fighting for his life in the big, wide ocean.
With a deep breath, I squashed those thoughts. I knew they wouldn’t stay away, would be back with a vengeance, but if I wanted to have any chance of surviving this trip, I needed to keep my distance.
My emotions needed to stay out of it.
The harbor grew closer. Eventually, we got into position to disembark.
I scanned the people milling around the dock, remembering there were always a few. Fishermen, merchants, tourists. It was one of the highlights in Crystal Cove. I couldn’t remember how often I had stood by the ocean myself, eyes locked on the incoming ferry.
The thought made me smile.
I got in line to get off the boat and, for the first time in two years, stepped foot on my home island.
My whole body shook, unable to handle the sensation. I was about to turn and run back onto the ferry when I heard someone call my name.
“Maddy!”
I turned to see Anna making her way toward me. There was a huge smile on her face, and before I knew what was going on, she engulfed me in a hug. I hadn't talked to her since I left—not for her lack of trying. She, like so many other people, reminded me too much of the past I had wanted to leave behind.
“I am so happy you're here, though I wish it were under better circumstances. Here. Let me get that.” Anna took my bag before I could protest.
“Madeleine, so good to see you again. I missed you.” I hadn't noticed Anna's mom, Grace, standing there, but I swallowed back the tears I felt well up inside me when I saw her.
I wished I deserved the reception I got. Quite frankly, these people should shun me, not pick me up from the ferry with smiles on their faces.
“Let’s go. You’re staying with us.” Anna’s smile had the same effect it always had. Warmth flooded me, forcing the shaking to recede.
I wanted to protest, tell her I had a home to go to, but found the words stuck in my throat.
I wasn't ready to return there just yet.
It was hard enough coming to the island, so the thought of not needing to return to my former home right away lifted a small weight off my shoulders.
Grace must have seen something in my expression because she squeezed my shoulders before gently pushing me forward.
I obeyed and followed them to their small little cottage in the middle of the island. Ever since Anna's dad moved away when she was six, it had only been the two of them. I never heard her complain about it, though. I think part of it was my own dad taking on the role to some degree because Anna spent as much time with us as I had with them.
Watching her and her mom, I couldn’t help but recall even more memories of happy times. Of times when all I cared about was what kind of mischief to get into next or which cliff to dive off of.
I had a good life here.
“We’re gonna have spaghetti today, your favorite,” Anna explained, pulling me from my thoughts. It was almost noon, and since I’d skipped breakfast, my stomach started to grumble. Nervousness had made it impossible for me to get anything past my lips. “It is still your favorite, isn't it?” There was slight panic in Anna's voice, which made me smile. Knowing her, she’d probably prepared everything for my return and wanted it to be perfect. I truly didn't deserve this kind of reception.
“Anna, thank—”
“Don't. You don't need to say anything,” she interrupted, giving me another smile.
“We’re happy you’re back, for however long it may be,” Grace added.
A single tear rolled down my cheek. I swallowed the onslaught of emotion rushing through every fiber of my being. Gratitude overwhelming me, I was unable to stop the sobs from choking me.
“Oh, Maddy,” Anna whispered as she caught me before my knees gave out, holding me tightly. Grace joined and the three of us sat on a nearby bench until I couldn't cry anymore.
When my sobs finally subsided, they wordlessly stood and pulled me up, then we continued on our way.
The path to their house was a gravel street I’d traveled on more often than not. I knew the twists and turns, knew where the roots stuck out and threatened to make you stumble. This was familiar. More so than I ever thought it would be. I suddenly wasn't as afraid anymore.
“Home, sweet home,” Anna announced as we reached their place.
I smiled when I saw nothing had changed. Flowers still surrounded every inch of it, and the small bench Anna and I used to sit on was still exactly where I remembered it.
“Make yourself at home,” Grace whispered. I nodded at her gratefully.
I would never be able to repay them for their kindness. Considering the way I left, they had every reason to resent me. Yet here they were, welcoming me with open arms. Almost as if the last two years hadn’t happened at all.
When we stepped inside, it was like going back in time. The same old couch, the same décor. I reminded myself it had only been two years, hardly long enough for them to redecorate completely, but it felt like a lifetime since I was last here.
“You can take the guest bedroom. The room you’ve always slept in,” Anna explained with a smirk on her face. When we were younger, I stayed over so much, Grace prepared me my own bedroom. My dad did the same for Anna at our place.
Dad.
A sudden dryness worked its way into my throat, the thought of him still making my heart ache. But there was something different this time. A certain warmth the memory brought. The comfort of something familiar.
I followed Anna to the room and couldn't help the smile on my face when I walked in. They hadn't changed a thing. The same boy band posters of teenage years past, along with various science projects the two of us prepared. The king-sized bed in the corner still sported the familiar white duvet and the three green pillows I had picked out myself.
Tears welled in my eyes, but I wiped them away before they could trickle down my cheeks. I didn't want to get any more emotional than I already was. “Thank you for taking me in. You didn't have to.”
Anna hugged me for a brief moment, making me feel safer than I had in months, before stepping back. She gave me a comforting smile, then left the room without another word.
We had talked about food, so maybe that was where she went. I set my small bag on the floor and fell onto the bed, the mattress giving way, welcoming me with open arms.
Exactly like Anna and Grace had done.
I knew I shouldn't have pushed everyone away, yet it seemed like the only thing I was able to do at the time.
I used to be outgoing, smiling all the time while talking non-stop to whomever I would meet. I had made it my mission to fall in love with the simple things in life.
That day had changed me forever.
I had erected walls around my heart in order to keep everyone I could possibly care about far away. I was reluctant to let people close and didn’t see the beauty in anything anymore.
Being back on this island confused me. My past and present colliding made it hard for me to focus on the person I was…or wanted to be.
“Maddy, dear. Lunch is ready,” Grace called from the kitchen.
I quickly opened my bag, grabbed my favorite sweatpants, and changed. Then I walked to the kitchen, seeing Anna and Grace already seated around the island.
“Spaghetti, at your service.” Grace smiled, gesturing at the food.
“Thank you,” I told her. The way her eyes softened, I knew she understood I wasn't merely thanking her for lunch.
“Let's eat, then we’ll fill you in on what’s going on. If you're up for it, that is.”
I had momentarily forgotten the reason for my visit in the first place. Come to think of it, on the ferry, I had seen no signs that something was amiss. I was about to ask about it when my gaze fell on the food.
I sat next to Anna and grabbed a plate. Silence descended, but it wasn’t awkward. I felt comfortable sitting here with these two women and sharing a meal with them. Unlike most meals I had with another person these past two years, few
as they were, this one didn't make me want to run for the hills.
As I finished my first helping and started on my second, I asked Anna and Grace about life on the island. Despite my reluctance, I was curious as to what it was like here these days. They filled me in on what I missed, and I found myself laughing at a story here or a specific person there.
That felt foreign to me. I had been a long time since I’d truly laughed. That it happened back at the place I swore I wouldn’t return to was a miracle.
Whenever one of them wouldn't know how a story ended, the other finished. Nothing on an island stayed secret for long, so one knew as much as the other. It took them a good hour to go through every single one. Once they did, my stomach hurt from laughing so much.
It was a sensation I was unfamiliar with.
“A lot can happen in two years,” Grace said after finishing another tale about Betty, the small grocery and café owner. She was right. A lot had changed, yet it felt like nothing had at all.
“I needed to leave. I couldn't stay here,” I said as way of explanation.
“I cannot imagine what you went through. We all lost someone we cared about that day, but we didn't lose the only family we had left,” Grace replied, her hand reaching out to squeeze mine. “We’re happy you’re here. That’s all we care about.”
Silence ensued as I busied myself with my food. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I sat down.
“Maddy, I know you hadn't planned to come back here, but this storm is unlike anything we’ve ever had. Do you remember when the two of you were about twelve and we had that nasty storm named Dave?” Grace glanced from me to Anna and back. I nodded. “Most of us went underground and sought shelter. Not the kind we have now, but the do-it-yourself ones we all used to have.”
I remembered vividly. Dad and I had just gotten home from a fishing trip when there was news of an impending storm. All those years ago, technology wasn't advanced enough to foresee storms more than a day out, so it caught us by surprise. We barely made it to the shelter before the worst was right over us.