by Tara Brown
Taking the route of the thin road, I saw things I didn’t know about.
“This is the factory and industries area. Food is prepared and processed here. Toilet paper, makeup, clothing; all of it is made here.”
It smelled funny. I couldn’t place it, but I didn’t like it. I despised it, maybe even hated it. It was closed off and built up. Buildings were everywhere. I felt confined and held against my will almost.
We rounded a corner and the valley became dense with trees instead of fields. The smell reminded me of him. The smell was the orchards.
“I live here in the orchards.”
I nodded. “I know that.”
He laughed. “It’s where I got on the tram with you every day.”
I took a deep inhale and remembered the sentence he had whispered to me in the dark. I didn’t want it to be our last kiss. Even with everything else, I didn’t. He was right. In amongst the pain and the sorrow and the horror, I liked him. He was beautiful and strange, and those things made me curious and excited.
The next place we got to, he yelled back at me, “This is the farmland.”
It was self-explanatory. It, like the factories, was a menial labor job given to those who couldn’t do thinking jobs. There were farmhouses scattered amongst the fields. The smell was worse than the factories. I held my breath. Farmland was spread across a massive valley. It was huge and beautiful, even if it did stink.
We passed over a huge hill and into another valley. There were houses and beautiful streets. Everything was in clusters. I was home.
“And this is where the city folk live.”
I sighed as he slowed down and pulled into my area. He parked at the tram stop and turned the bike off. My legs were jelly, vibrating still from the bike. When I stepped off, I nearly stumbled but he caught my arm. I passed him the helmet.
“Will I see you again?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. I can’t get caught. Lyle will tell me what is what with you and him and the plan. I’ll pass along any information I find out to him at his dad’s, where I always see him.”
I scowled. “Why didn’t you try to become like us and work in the city? Or be like my brother and be a—whatever you called him?”
“A watcher.”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
He shook his head. “I’m bad with authority. I’ve stayed off the grid this long. It’s better. I kept my head down and did my job in school. They assumed I was not smart and was made for manual labor. They don’t watch us. We don’t mean anything to them.”
My stomach pinched, but I said the thing I wanted to say anyway, “Bran, do you like me?”
He smiled. “Yeah.”
I shook my head. “I mean like as in, did you like kissing me?”
His green eyes shone as they lowered. “I did . . . I do.”
I stepped close to him, taking a last smell of him. “I’m sorry.”
He looked at me. “For what?”
I bit my lip, shaking my head. “I can’t be part of whatever you and Lyle have planned. I won’t be a part. I didn’t even want to work in the city, let alone risk ending up outside the wall. Where will the people go if the wall is destroyed? The monsters will get in, and the wars will start again.”
His face tightened. “We’ll see.”
I stepped away from him. “Goodbye.”
He strapped the extra helmet to the back of the bike and started it. He gave me a long stare before he drove off again.
I was a coward. I knew that word. Somehow, I knew it and I knew it described me. Watching him leave was the worst feeling I’d ever felt. A tear actually left my eye and splashed down on the cement. I felt like something was missing when he was gone. A hole had been torn open. I didn’t think it would ever heal. There was no way for us in the world, and Brooke had been shoved out of the wall, and Lyle wasn’t who I thought him to be.
Bran grew very tiny as he rode away. When he rounded the bend and was gone, I stopped being able to feel anything beyond the panic and anxiety of wanting to chase after him. I looked down at my filthy dress and scratched-up shoes. Even my hands were dirty. My mother and father would ask questions if I didn’t hurry. The light would be cresting the mountains soon and then I would have to explain. I would have to tell my parents something untrue. There was a word for it . . . I couldn’t place it, but remembered the lessons we took when we were small. Something about bad untruths.
I ran for my house, exhausted and broken. I snuck inside and crept to my bedroom. I closed the door and pressed my back against it.
Shaking my head, I saw what he had shown me. I felt the things he had wanted me to feel, but I came to a conclusion he had not expected. The heavy feeling inside of me and the broken, jagged edges of my heart would make me suffer for eternity, but at least I would have eternity. The thought of that alone made me ever confident that we as a people had made the right choice. Whatever their crimes or issues, the people being taken and pushed beyond the wall were not my concern.
There was no way I was ever going to stray beyond the expectations of my designation. I never wanted anyone else to feel the way I did. I wanted them to have the clean slate we worked so hard to maintain. I sacrificed my happiness forever to ensure the protection of my people. I would sacrifice all possible happiness for them.
I slipped my dress from my shoulders and prepared to be clean of the debris and agony of the night before. The night I would never forget. The night I chose duty over love—real possible love. Something I didn’t even really believe in. It wasn’t crafted love that would be made to work based on statistics and results. It was true love, based on pheromones and animalistic attraction, and all of the other things we as a society had shunned with our yesterdays and imaginations.
The Interrogation
My handheld had an address on it. Since I was no longer the starry-eyed girl I had been but days ago, I left the tram with a somber feeling but pretended to look at the handheld.
“Gwyn!” I turned to see Lyle smiling at me. “Hey!”
I nodded. “Hi, Lyle.”
He stopped. “Where did you go last night at the club?”
Frowning, I shook my head as if I were confused. “What?”
He swallowed. “Did you sleep?”
I nodded. “Yes. I woke in a state in my bed, but I slept. Did we go to the club last night? It’s real? Did you not sleep?” I hated saying an untruth to him, but I hated what he had set me up for more. He had held my hand and asked me out for dinner and danced with me, and clearly it had meant nothing to him. His sweet and kind personality was an act of survival.
His blue eyes narrowed as he searched my face for the truth. “I never slept. I stayed awake so I would remember my day.” He was telling me an untruth as well, protecting his family’s secret. A secret I would also protect, along with my own.
I smiled. “That was smart. Now you have a heads up. All I have is this note on my handheld.” One I had not read. I had not needed to.
He laughed. “Then let me take you to where we are going.”
“We?”
He nodded. “You and I were offered the same job. They always replace two at a time. A man and a woman.”
I smiled. “How do you know that?”
He looped his arm in mine. “I keep a journal, but don’t tell anyone.”
I tapped my nose as my father always did. “Mum’s the word.”
“So the club is real then? That’s so crazy. And you and I had a lot of fun dancing.”
I glanced at him. “We did?”
He nodded, giving me a bashful smile. “We did. You were a blast, loads of fun. We drank some of the wine and danced all night.”
I furrowed my brow. “How did I get so dirty?” I needed to know the story, I supposed. It was better than Bran’s.
He laughed. “You fell when we were walking home. It was loads of fun though. So don’t worry about it.”
I swallowed the sickening feeling that he and I would forev
er tell each other untruths about the things we couldn’t stand to hurt each other with.
“I wonder how Amber made out in designations?”
He pointed at a large stone building with strange statues and large torches that when lit at night gave the building an eerie appearance. “That’s us over there. Amber did well. She got what she wanted, fitness and nutrition. Contrary to how it sounds, it is quite the lazy job. I know she was always hoping for something with no real responsibility. She also got approved for marriage and children.” He looked down on me for a moment as he said it.
“Will you be my date tomorrow night for the commencement ceremony?”
I was about to say no, but I knew what my answer would have been if I had indeed gone to bed. I closed my mouth and nodded.
As we walked into the building, he stopped holding my arm to his. He took a long step and pressed the elevator button.
“What are you wearing tomorrow night?”
I blinked at him. Did I know that answer? Of course, I did. “A white gown my mother had a friend make me with my designation material. It’s stunning. Strapless and the bottom is actually like flower petals. If I spin very quickly it will separate and you could see—well, a lot.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Nice. I shall ensure my vest matches. Creamy white or stark white?”
I blinked again. “Creamy, actually.”
He held a hand out for me when the door opened. “Well, that must look amazing against your pale skin.” I blushed, making him smile wider. “Especially when you make it pink like that.”
I shook my head. “Stop. You’re making it worse.” He was being very forward with me.
When the doors opened, Frank was there with a bold smile. “Gwyndolyn and Lyle, welcome. I’m Frank. I see you know each other fairly well. However did you find the place so easily? I expected at least one lost message from a guard.”
I looked back at Lyle, who gave a sheepish smile. “I stayed up all night. I didn’t want to forget a thing.”
Frank clapped his hands. “Brilliant. I never would have thought of that when I was your age. You, young man, are a genius.”
I wanted to shove them both and out Lyle for being a fraud. It was the worst behavioral feeling I had ever had. How could I want to hurt someone that way? Oh God, the callous revulsion was spreading. I would never just be Gwyn. I would always be the girl bogged down by her yesterdays. The girl with the hate, spite, and anger inside of her.
Instead, I followed them down the long arched corridor. It was the strangest hallway ever. It was stark white and rounded with bright lights, which made the white of every surface that much worse.
He walked us a different way than the day before. We entered a set of double doors, and then entered a huge room with screens, desks, and a wall of windows. We were high up, overlooking the city. It was a viewpoint I had only seen in the dark. I left them, walking toward the wall of windows. It felt like the right reaction. I pressed my palm against the cold glass and just marveled at the sheer size of the city and industrial area. It stretched as far as the eye could see. The Last City of Men. There were pipes billowing white clouds into the blue sky. I could see so many things all at once. I didn’t know where to put them all in my mind.
So I stared and waited for it to make sense.
“It’s incredible, isn’t it?”
I glanced to the side and jumped when I saw Lisabeth. I wasn’t sure if I did it fast enough.
She put a hand out. “Here we are, a team of equals and no one higher than anyone else. Welcome to the planners.” She made a sweeping gesture and for the first time, I noticed the other people in the room. At least a dozen of us. I looked back at her, trying desperately not to see the cold beauty that sucked me in. “Call me Lisabeth.” She took my hand in her cool, slender fingers. “Are you excited?”
I swallowed. “I think so.”
She laughed. “As of today, you will no longer have to wonder about your emotions. You will be the master of them.” It was weird hearing her say that after the years of her touting the belief in a new day.
She pulled me over to a computer on a shelf. It was just higher than my belly button. “This is your new desk.”
I frowned. “Desk?”
She smiled. “Yes, we believe in standing desks. We spend upward of ten hours a day at them, so standing is healthier than sitting. Not to mention, it’s easier on your joints.”
Something triggered in the back of my mind. “But the blood rushes to your feet, pooling there?”
She smiled. “You retain information so well, Gwyn. Yes, it does, but we have discovered it only takes half an hour in the pool, swimming laps, or lying with your feet in the air doing yoga poses to correct the pooling. You must complete an hour a day of exercise anyway. It’s no different than school.”
I smiled. “Very clever.”
She nodded. “We will start your training tomorrow. Today, you have to pass the security clearance and the injection to remove the reset.”
I swallowed hard. She laughed and it sounded like wind chimes. “Don’t be afraid. It’s not meant to hurt you. It’s only a precaution, and the injection occurs while you are under sedation.”
I didn’t know what a sedation was. I assumed it wasn’t great news. She’d said it with a sweet smile, but I had been tainted by the screaming people being pushed through the wall.
Frank was walking Lyle around the room, showing him different things on screens at the different standing desks.
Lisabeth pointed at a woman with bright-red hair and a huge smile. She was very tall and strong looking. “This is Dr. Victor. She is our specialist who takes care of the security clearance.”
The large woman took my hand, gripping it firmly. “It’s lovely to meet you, Gwyn.”
I smiled, noticing how red her hair was. It was like it was on fire. “Thank you. You, as well.”
She nodded at Frank. “Is Lyle coming as well?”
Frank laughed. “Yes, yes, of course he is. Sorry, first new recruit in ages. We are excited you are both here.”
I maintained the plastered smile on my lips as Lyle walked toward us. He gave a sexy smile to the doctor. I watched as her face turned nearly the color of her hair. My lips fought the good fight, but could not win out against the grin I didn’t want to wear. I kept my face down, trying desperately to ignore her instant attraction to him.
Poor woman. None of us stood a chance against him. It had been bad when he was a sweet gentleman, but it had gotten much worse as he let out the charismatic side of him. He was charming, handsome, and radiant. He made that cold stark room warm. I watched him speak with utter confidence and found my eyes stalking him about the room.
She pointed to the door. “If you’ll follow me, we will get this formality out of the way.” She turned and walked to the door.
Lisabeth smiled at me. “See you when you’re done.”
I nodded and followed Lyle and the doctor. His hand slipped over mine as we walked down the hall. Something sharp pricked my palm as he placed an object in my hand. He closed my fingers around it. My stomach hurt. He leaned down into my neck. “When they finish the baseline questions, stab that into your hand as hard as you can. I know you have had some memories of Bran, my cousin. This will make it so you can say untruths to them and protect us both.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want this.”
The doctor glanced back. “So have you two started dating yet?”
My face dropped but Lyle spoke quickly, “Yes. Yes, we have.”
I looked at him. He cupped my face. “She is the most beautiful creature I have ever met.”
What was happening? How was I to answer, if I didn’t know what was going on? I watched the terror in his eyes leave as he smiled at me and nodded. “We are taking it slowly. I was never certain I wanted to be married.”
She laughed. “Oh silly girl, didn’t they tell you? Planners only ever come in pairs. Like Adam and Eve.”
I smiled. “Th
ey did not. How fortunate then that it’s Lyle I am paired with then.” The answer was forced and did not feel as if it were my own. I scowled. “What is Adam and Eve?”
She laughed. “Have you never heard of the biblical stories of how our world was started?”
I shook my head. Lyle frowned as well. “Is that like the God stories?”
She beamed. “It is. The books are in the library here. They are not for just anyone to see, but we are allowed. You will have to read them. Very fascinating.”
“Why are regular people not allowed to read them?”
Her eyes grew serious. “Most of the world wars were caused by them. They are powerful books, filled with lies that brainwashed people. Science has disproven all of the things in them.” She laughed. “So it’s a joke we have here that new recruits are always an Adam and an Eve.”
I smiled at Lyle. “Lucky us.” I didn’t have untruths mastered and my heart was breaking with every step we took. He saw the look in my eyes and lifted my hand with the sharp object in it and kissed the back of it. He whispered so softly I barely heard it, “I will keep you safe.”
I nodded, getting lost in our footsteps on the shiny bright-white floor.
A man in a black shirt that nearly matched his skin color smiled brightly at me. He was handsome in a way I didn’t know I would be able to see in a grown man. He was older and beautiful . . . really. I started to see a theme amongst the planners. Each one was better looking than the last and even more unique. Dark skin, red hair, brown skin, slanted eyes, rounded eyes, full lips, thin lips and everything else. Each so handsome and beautiful that they stood out in my mind and its limited memories of people, beyond my classmates and their parents.
The dark-skinned man put a hand out. “Hello and welcome. Gwyn and Lyle—wow. Perfect specimens for the planners. I am Doctor Lexington, but please call me Stan.” He beamed when he smiled, like a light. I took what he said as an intense compliment. I knew I was pretty but not their level of pretty. Lyle fitted in though. He was handsome and charming at their level. He might have even passed them by.