by Ally Blue
It was Keegan who finally broke the kiss. He pushed away and took a step back, breathing hard. “Wait, Scott, stop. We can’t.”
Scott wanted to argue. Keegan looked gorgeous standing there in that tiny black dress, hair wildly mussed and lips swollen from kissing. Scott wanted to take him, right there on the floor of Earl’s artfully decorated office. But he knew Keegan was right. Leaning against the door, he shoved his hands in his pockets, not trusting himself to keep from touching Keegan the way he wanted to.
“You’re right,” Scott said, his voice rough with the lust still thumping through him. “Christ, what are we thinking?”
“I don’t regret it. But if we take this any further, you will.” Keegan gazed up at Scott with a serious expression. “You’re a good person, Scott. I know you want me, but you’re not the type of guy who screws around. You’d never forgive yourself if you cheated on Logan like he does to you.”
“I know.” Scott bit his lip, fighting the urge to touch Keegan again. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be.” The corner of Keegan’s mouth turned up in a bitter half-smile. “If all I can have from you is friendship, I sure as hell don’t want to fuck it up.”
“Nothing’s fucking that up,” Scott promised.
“Good.”
Gazing into Keegan’s eyes, Scott saw the walls go back up, and in that moment he made up his mind. “I’m going to break it off with Logan. It’s the best thing to do, for both of us.”
“For all three of us.” Keegan smiled. “Let me know when you’re unattached. I’d sure love to pick up where we left off.”
“Me too.” Scott grinned, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel for the first time in ages. “I need to do this right now, tonight. You don’t mind if I miss your show, do you?”
“For a cause this good? I’ll deal.” Keegan flicked at his lip ring with his tongue. “Hell, maybe it’s a good thing you won’t be here. I’d be hard as a fucking rock if I knew you were watching me tonight.”
Scott bit back a groan. “God, Keegan.”
Laughing, Keegan pulled Scott to him. Scott’s arms went around him like they were meant to be there. They kissed, the contact light and quick.
“Hurry,” Keegan whispered.
“Yeah.” Scott brushed a soft kiss across Keegan’s temple and forced himself to let go. “It may not be tonight. I won’t leave him alone if I don’t think it’s safe.”
Keegan nodded. “Do what you need to. Just don’t let him talk you into anything you don’t want, yeah?”
“I won’t.” Scott stroked Keegan’s hair, letting the silky strands curl around his fingers. “I’ll be back.”
“Just like the Terminator.” Keegan grinned. “You know where to find me.”
Scott returned the smile, turned and slipped out the door before he lost control of his rising desire. He didn’t want to make love to Keegan until he was free to do it without guilt.
He got lots of surprised looks as he left the club. No one was used to seeing him leave so early; he always stayed for Keegan’s show. He couldn’t suppress a wide smile as he walked into the frigid night air. In a little while, he’d be a free man. Free of Logan’s lies, free of a relationship that had dragged at him like a stone for far too long.
Part of him felt bad for having found someone else while he was still with Logan. But, he reasoned, he hadn’t set out to do any such thing. It had crept up on him before he realized what was happening. The attraction between himself and Keegan had always been there, simmering under the surface, but they’d never spoken of it, never acknowledged it. Scott desperately needed the unexpected friendship he’d found with Keegan, and he didn’t want to lose that. Discussion wasn’t required for him to know that Keegan felt the same.
The drive back to the apartment he and Logan shared took longer than the usual ten minutes, due to the heavy Saturday night traffic. Scott parked the car in the lot out front and sat there for a minute, gathering his courage. Now that he’d made up his mind, he was absolutely certain about his decision, but that didn’t make it any easier to do. Logan, he figured, was not going to take it well.
The thought of Keegan finally galvanized him into action. He locked the car and bounded up the stairs to their second-floor apartment, keeping the image of Keegan’s sunny smile in the forefront of his mind.
He heard the noises as soon as he opened the door, but didn’t immediately recognize them for what they were. He set his keys on the counter and started toward the bedroom, frowning at the muffled sounds coming from behind the closed door.
“Logan?” he called. “Are you okay? I heard—”
Scott opened the bedroom door just in time to see a man he didn’t know pull the sheet hastily around himself. The man’s eyes were so wide the whites showed all around. Sweat ran in rivers from his nude body and dripped from his hair. Logan lay on his back, both hands bound to the headboard, the strange man kneeling between his wide-flung legs. Scott’s stomach lurched when he saw the bloody welts crisscrossing Logan’s groin, belly and thighs. Logan’s lover held a wicked-looking riding crop clutched tight in one fist.
“Wh-who are you?” the man demanded, his voice quivering. “You can’t just—”
“It’s my boyfriend, Darryl,” Logan said, sounding tired and irritated. His eyes flashed. “What the fuck are you doing here, Scott? I figured you’d be at that damn club, jerking off while that pretty boy strips for you.”
Darryl turned to gape at Logan. “Hey, you didn’t tell me—”
“Darryl, was it?” Scott interrupted, never taking his eyes from Logan’s angry face. “Untie Logan, then get out. I have something I need to say and I’m not doing it like this.” He glanced at Darryl. “You can call him later.”
Darryl gave Scott a cautious look. He was clearly curious about why Scott wasn’t angry with him, but he didn’t say anything. Leaning over, he whispered something that Scott couldn’t quite hear, and Logan’s lips curved into the ghost of a smile as Darryl started to untie him. Something about that interaction made Scott feel better about the whole sordid mess. In spite of everything that had happened, he wanted Logan to be happy. If Logan could find what he needed in a healthier way with Darryl, so much the better.
Logan didn’t look at Scott until Darryl had dressed and left. He sat up, pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, fixing Scott with a sullen stare. “Well?” he snapped. “What did you want?”
Scott sat next to the man he’d lived with for over six years, not knowing quite how to start now that it came to it. He decided on the direct approach. Logan might not like it, but it would be easier in the end.
“This isn’t working anymore, Logan,” he said. “I think it’s time we called it quits.”
Logan laughed, the sound harsh and bitter. “Oh, you think? What was your first clue, Sherlock?”
Scott ignored the dig, determined to stay calm. “Keep the apartment. I can stay in a hotel or something until I find someplace else.”
“What, you can’t stay with your stripper boyfriend?” Logan sneered.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Scott silently counted to ten. “I’m not going to pretend I don’t want him, not at this point. But I’ve never cheated on you before, and I’m not cheating on you now. Keegan and I haven’t slept together.”
“Yet,” Logan spat. “That’s why you came running back here tonight to break up with me, isn’t it? So you can fuck that little slut without sullying your almighty virtue.”
Scott felt the blood rising in his cheeks, along with a dangerous fury. The fact that Logan had it almost exactly right just made it worse.
“Don’t sit there and act like you’ve done nothing wrong,” Scott shot back. “Not when I just caught you in bed with another man. Christ, Logan, you’re fucking bleeding! What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Logan’s tongue crept out to probe the corner of his mouth. His eyes grew heavy with an expression Scott didn’t want to see. “You could finish what
he started.” Logan leaned back, spreading his legs again. “You want to, don’t you?”
Scott looked away. He really didn’t want to see the blood oozing from Logan’s torn skin. “That’s not gonna work, Logan. You can’t make me do those things to you anymore.”
Logan’s face flushed dark red. “Damn you, I know you want to. Just fucking do it.”
“No.” Scott leapt to his feet. “I don’t like myself when I’m like that, and I’m not doing it anymore.”
Logan moved so fast Scott didn’t even have time to react. Before Scott knew what was happening, Logan was up and pushing him against the wall.
“I need it, you fucker!” Logan screamed, his shaking hand fisted in Scott’s shirt. “I fucking need it! Fucking hit me already!”
Scott grabbed both of Logan’s wrists, stopping the blow he figured was coming. He’d seen Logan fight. He didn’t want to be on the receiving end of the man’s surprisingly powerful punches.
“You need help, Logan,” Scott said as calmly as he could. “If pain is what you want, there’s better ways to get that. What we’ve been doing isn’t healthy, and I won’t be a part of it anymore.”
For a second, Logan looked as if he couldn’t decide whether to yell or cry. He snatched his hands away and turned his back on Scott. “Fine. Go on, then. Go fuck your stripper.”
Scott stared at Logan’s unmarked back, remembering all the times he’d left that same stretch of skin red and bruised. “Will you be all right?”
“Why would you care?”
“We were together for seven years. Of course I care.”
Logan sat on the bed again and pulled his knees up under his chin. He kept his face twisted away from Scott. “I’ll be fine. Just go.”
Not knowing what else to do, Scott went to the closet and took out a duffle bag. He gathered some clothes and toiletries, watching Logan out of the corner of his eye all the while. Logan never moved, never once looked at Scott, and he remained silent.
When he had enough things together to last a few days, Scott stood in front of Logan, staring at his mop of tousled blond hair. He cleared his throat. “Well. I guess that’s it then.”
Logan nodded, but said nothing. Letting out a huff of irritation, Scott squatted in front of his former lover and laid a hand on his bare knee. “This is best for both of us,” he said softly. “Call Darryl, if you want. Maybe he can give you what I couldn’t.”
Still no response. Scott sighed, rose to his feet and kissed the top of Logan’s head. “I’ll come back later for the rest of my stuff.”
Turning away from Logan’s huddled form, Scott walked toward the door. His hand was on the doorknob when Logan spoke.
“Scott?”
Scott stopped, shoulders tense. “Yes?”
“I’m sorry it ended like this.”
The unfamiliar note of regret in Logan’s voice made Scott turn around again. Logan was looking at him now, hazel eyes full of mingled sadness and relief, and Scott’s worry eased a little. “So am I,” Scott said. “Be happy, okay?”
The corner of Logan’s mouth twitched in what might almost have been a smile. “You too.”
Scott left the apartment with his bag slung over his shoulder and a chaotic whirl of emotions churning in his guts. He felt light and heavy at the same time. After so many years together, severing the ties with Logan felt like surgery to remove a diseased organ. A part of him was lost forever, but it had to be done before their dying relationship poisoned them both beyond repair.
Back in his car, driving to Ganymede’s Grotto and Keegan, Scott reflected on his years with Logan. He hadn’t seen it in the giddy high of falling in love all those years ago, but lately he’d come to realize that he and Logan had always been missing something vitally important.
Tenderness. Honesty. Trust. The building blocks of a solid, lasting, loving relationship. They’d never had that. Not even close.
Sometimes Scott wondered if he’d ever find that kind of love. Other times he wondered if it was right there in front of him, in a pair of laughing odd-colored eyes and a smile that made him feel ten feet tall.
“Scott,” he said out loud, “I think it’s time you found out.”
Grinning, he drove on through the bustling winter night.
Chapter Four
Keegan took the stage that night with a rare gusto. He loved performing and it showed, but the possibility of being with Scott put an extra oomph in his movements. The crowd loved it. Keegan smiled and flirted, lapping up the whistles and applause like nectar.
Just as he wormed his fingers into the holes he’d cut in the lace dress and ripped it open, Keegan spotted Scott in the audience. Pleasantly surprised to see him back so soon, Keegan grinned and gave him a tiny nod. Scott smiled back.
Keegan couldn’t see Scott’s eyes past the glare of the spotlight, but he could feel the heat of the man’s gaze. He let himself respond to it, running both hands suggestively up the insides of his thighs and over his groin. The black satin of his G-string did nothing to hide his excitement. Falling to his knees, he tugged at a nipple ring with one hand and cupped his balls in the other, hips rolling in a slow, sensuous motion, his head lolling back as the appreciative whoops of the audience washed over him. He loved it, loved feeling this beautiful and sexy and wanted.
The rest of his show was a blur. He let his desire take him over, moving his body in ways that whipped the crowd into a frenzy. He could smell the lust rolling off the panting men like an exotic perfume. By the time the music stopped and he took his bows to thunderous applause, his cock was fully erect and leaking a damp spot on the satin. He left the stage with a wave, intent on finding Scott as soon as possible.
He didn’t have to wait long. Scott came barreling down the hallway before he’d gotten halfway to the dressing room. Those dark eyes burned with a need Keegan understood perfectly. He felt a wide, eager smile spread across his face and didn’t even want to stop it.
“Hi Scott,” he said. “Wow, I didn’t expect you back so—mmph…”
His words were abruptly cut off by Scott’s mouth on his. The kiss was hard and aggressive and exactly what Keegan wanted right then. He melted into it, running his hands over Scott’s muscular shoulders.
“Where?” Scott growled between kisses. “I need you right fucking now.”
“Uh…” Keegan tried to think, but Scott’s hands on his skin threatened to drown him in an ocean of pure sensation. “Dressing room,” he gasped.
Lifting Keegan right off his feet, Scott moved toward the dressing room, which was thankfully nearby. Keegan wrapped both legs around Scott’s waist, rubbing himself shamelessly against Scott’s hard, flat belly. Scott flung the door open, shuffled inside and kicked it closed again, and they were alone at last. Alone and hard and wanting and finally free to act on it.
“Did you?” Keegan mumbled without taking his mouth from Scott’s. “Can we?”
“Yes, and yes.” Scott bit Keegan’s bottom lip, tugging the silver ring between his teeth. His thumbs plucked at Keegan’s G-string. “Off. Now.”
Keegan laughed breathlessly. “Let me down.”
Scott pulled back enough to look him in the eye. “Hang on.”
Keegan didn’t have time to wonder what Scott meant. Scott’s hands left his hips altogether, and he clamped his legs harder around Scott’s waist to keep from falling. He was about to ask Scott what he was doing, when Scott’s fingers curled under the thin elastic strips at the edges of Keegan’s thong and gave a sharp pull. The elastic tore loose. The satin triangle stayed, held between their pressed-together bodies.
Scott reached back and tugged the bit of fabric gently away, leaving Keegan clinging to him stark naked. One big hand wriggled between them while the other arm clutched Keegan’s hips, holding him up. Keeping an arm around Scott’s neck, Keegan slipped his free hand down to help undo Scott’s pants. After a moment’s fumbling, they got the button and zipper open. Keegan grasped Scott’s thick shaft, feeling like he’d wo
n the lottery. Scott moaned and thrust against him.
Keegan wished they could make it to the sofa in the corner, or at least the chair. But he didn’t think he could stand to let go, and was pretty sure Scott wouldn’t want to either. So they stayed there, Scott braced against the wall with Keegan clinging to him, humping each other like a couple of teenagers. Keegan would’ve laughed if he hadn’t been busy kissing Scott like his life depended on it.
It didn’t take long before Keegan felt the orgasm building in his belly. “Uh…S-Scott…gonna come.”
“’S okay,” Scott panted. “Come on.”
Scott pressed a finger against Keegan’s hole, probing gently, and that did it. Keegan shot so hard his vision sparkled. His hand spasmed around Scott’s cock and Scott came with a hoarse cry.
“Holy fuck.” Scott slid down the wall, landing sprawled on the floor with Keegan plastered against him. “I haven’t shot so fast since high school.”
“Yeah, me too.” Keegan laid his cheek against Scott’s chest.
“Sorry it was so quick,” Scott said, stroking Keegan’s hair. “And so upright.”
Laughing, Keegan wiped his sticky hand on Scott’s jeans. “We can have a real fuck later. For now? I think we both needed it like this.”
Scott’s chuckle rumbled against Keegan’s ear. “You have no idea what you were doing to me, up there on stage. Dancing like that. Flaunting that hard-on.”
“Your fault.” Keegan snuggled closer and kissed Scott’s throat. “I saw you in the audience, looking at me like you wanted to fuck me right there in front of everybody.”
“That turned you on, huh?”
“Like you would not believe.”
Scott lifted Keegan’s face and smiled at him, brown eyes shining. “You were gorgeous tonight, Keegan.”
“Just tonight?” Keegan smiled back, hoping his casual tone would hide the crazy thumping of his heart.