Slim Pickings in Fat Chance, Texas

by Bonaduce, Celia

  “What’s going on, Titan?” she asked, forgetting her own disappointment for a moment.

  Titan dusted off an old stool and offered it to her. She shivered to see Fancy a few feet from her on the wrought-iron perch, staring at Cleo with her one red eye. Cleo listened as Titan filled her in on the dismal deal he’d made with Dodge and how the day of reckoning was here.

  “I think Rocket knows something’s up,” Titan said. “He hasn’t been himself.”

  The back door of the forge was open. The enormous longhorn stood in the doorway. Cleo stared at him. Rocket was certainly not as ugly as Fancy, but Cleo couldn’t imagine risking her entire life for the ungainly beast peering in at her.

  “You must have known you’d never be able to raise that much money, honey,” Cleo said.

  “I just thought . . .” Titan turned to look at Rocket. “I don’t know what I thought. I just hoped it would all work out.”

  He walked over to the bull and put his face against the bull’s head. The bull closed his eyes. “Things work out here in Fat Chance, you know.”

  Not everything, thought Cleo.

  Titan came back and sat down next to Cleo.

  “What about everybody else?” Cleo said. “Couldn’t they help?”

  “They tried,” Titan said, “but it would take everything everyone had. I can’t accept that.”

  “I could . . . ,” she began, knowing that she’d promised Elwood that she would not throw her money around.

  “No, Cleo. I appreciate it, but that wouldn’t be right. You can’t go around fixing everyone’s problems.”

  “Why not?”

  “I believe in what your father sent us to do. He gave us an opportunity to see what we could make of ourselves. Not the opportunity to see how much we could mess up and have his money bail us out.”

  “Oh, Titan,” Cleo said. “I wish everyone in this town wasn’t so stubborn.”

  “Is that code for you wish everyone would do what you want them to do?” he said, a small smile creasing his face.

  Cleo laughed. “I guess it does.”

  “Are you back for good?” He sounded relieved to be changing the subject.

  “No,” she said, her smile fading. “Just a visit. I’m actually leaving tonight.”

  “I guess you met Mikie.”

  “I guess I did.”

  “Would you stay with me until Dodge arrives?” Titan said. “He’ll be here any minute.”

  Cleo looked back at Rocket, who stood so forlornly at the back door that it made her want to cry. There must be a way to keep these soulful creatures together. An idea struck her. She grabbed her purse and started rummaging.

  “Titan, I need you to do something for me,” she said as she pulled the ring box out of her bag. “I can leave here happy if you’ll swear you’ll do me this one favor.”

  “Anything,” Titan said. “I swear.”

  She opened the ring box and held it up for Titan to see. The four perfect carats sent sparks around the forge.

  “I need you to take this ring”—she took the ring and forced it into Titan’s immense hand—“and give it to Dodge.”

  “I can’t marry Dodge,” Titan gasped, pushing it back at her. “I don’t love him! I don’t even think he’s gay!”

  “Not like that,” she said, returning the ring like a hot potato. “For Rocket. It’s worth in the six figures. That has to be more than enough to settle your debt.”

  “It is. More than enough, but . . .”

  “Tell Dodge he can keep the change.”

  “Cleo, I can’t take this,” Titan said, although he couldn’t resist slipping it onto the first knuckle of his pinkie finger. “My gosh, it’s beautiful.”

  “Isn’t it?” Cleo said softly. “But it never did me or Marshall or anyone else a bit of good. So if you don’t take it, I’m going to go throw it in the creek.”

  Titan held his hand to his chest, covering the ring protectively. “You wouldn’t,” he squeaked.

  “You know how rich I am,” Cleo said, playing the stereotype of the fabulously wealthy woman for all it was worth. “What’s it to me?”

  “I can’t let you do that!” Titan said hesitantly.

  “Take the ring.” Cleo reached out and squeezed Titan’s forearm, which was like squeezing granite. “Let the damn thing bring somebody happiness. Please, Titan.”

  “All right.” He stared at the ring in disbelief. “If you’re sure.”

  “I am sure,” Cleo said, standing up.

  They turned as they heard the front door. They could make out Dodge’s silhouette backlighted against the sky.

  “I’m going to go.” Cleo kissed Titan on the cheek.

  They stood and embraced.

  “Will I see you again?” Titan asked.

  “Of course.”

  Although she wasn’t sure of that.

  Cleo patted Titan on the cheek. She could see how nervous he was. She wondered if she should stay, but realized that Titan would want to handle this himself. She shot a quick look at Dodge, and then whispered in Titan’s ear.

  “You can do this,” she said. “Just make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

  CHAPTER 28

  Professor Johnson searched all of Fat Chance for Dymphna. Exasperated, he looked down at Thud. “Where is she, boy?”

  The dog wagged his tail and headed up toward the farm. Professor Johnson followed. He wondered why Dymphna would be at the farm when there was so much going on in town. For an instant, he even doubted that Thud had understood the question. But of course, that was just foolishness.

  Professor Johnson could feel himself relaxing with every step he took closer to the farm. He could hear the soft cluck of the chickens, and every once in a while a goat peered over the barnyard fence. If he was not mistaken, he thought Dymphna had said a couple babies were born earlier in the spring, but he couldn’t be sure. The phone connection was always so bad.

  He could only hope the connection would be better now that he was here.

  Professor Johnson climbed up on the porch as Thud pushed his way into the house. The door was ajar. Professor Johnson was just about to pull it wide enough to enter, when he heard Dymphna’s voice.

  “Hey, Thud,” she said.

  Professor Johnson couldn’t see her, but he could hear her thumping the dog’s broad side in greeting. A smile stretched across his face. He hadn’t actually planned to surprise her, but this might be fun. The smile froze on his face when he heard a man speak.

  “We were starting to wonder about you,” the voice said. “Where have you been, buddy?”

  Buddy? This man knows my dog well enough to call him “buddy”?

  Professor Johnson backed away from the door. Dymphna obviously knew this man. She sounded comfortable and at ease. More at ease than she ever sounded with him, he feared. He flattened himself against the house. He wasn’t sure what he should do or where he should go. He couldn’t see them and he strained to hear their voices, to see if this chum of Thud’s was anyone he’d met during his six months in Fat Chance.

  “Do you want any more cobbler, Tino?” Dymphna asked.

  Tino? Have I ever met a Tino? I don’t think so.

  Thud came out of the house and looked up at Professor Johnson, wagging his tail furiously. Thud started to whine softly. Professor Johnson put his fingers to his lips to silence the dog. The last thing he needed was for Dymphna and this Tino person to find him skulking on the porch.

  “Thud,” Dymphna called. “Stay on the porch, please.”

  Thud looked back into the farmhouse, and then lay down in the doorway, closing his eyes.

  Professor Johnson looked for an escape route, but he didn’t see one. Even if he could get off the porch without being noticed, if he attempted to leave, Thud would cause a ruckus.

  Wouldn’t he?

  Professor Johnson tried to inch his way down the wall toward the stairs. Thud raised his head with every creak of the floorboards. The professor didn’t want
to be eavesdropping—or at least he didn’t want to be discovered eavesdropping. On the other hand, he wasn’t quite ready to announce his arrival. He took a deep breath and waited for the right moment.

  Waiting for the right moment—story of my life.

  He heard Dymphna cough.

  “So . . .” Dymphna’s voice didn’t carry to the porch like Tino’s did, but Professor Johnson could still hear her. “You had something you wanted to say?”

  “I’m sorry I’ve been so mysterious about all this,” Tino said. “But I wanted to make sure my plans were going to pan out before I said anything.”

  “Your plans?” Dymphna asked.

  “Right after I treated Thud’s snakebite wound, I went to South America for a while. I was in Chile at the International Livestock Research Institute.”

  “Is that where you’ve been these last few weeks, too?”

  “Yes,” Tino said. “That’s what I want to talk to you about.”

  Professor Johnson found himself leaning closer to the wall in order to hear every word. He tried to fit the pieces together. He remembered trying to locate the veterinarian who had saved Thud in order to thank him. But that veterinarian had left Texas by the time Professor Johnson knew about him. What was his name?

  Dr. Valentine. Dr. Constantino Valentine.

  Tino!

  Professor Johnson had missed some of the conversation. He tuned back in.

  “It’s a fascinating study, and they’ve asked me to be part of it,” Tino said.

  “So you’re leaving again?” Dymphna said.

  Yes!

  “I am,” Tino said. “And I want you to go with me.”

  No!

  “I can’t go with you,” Dymphna said. “I can’t leave Fat Chance just like that.”

  Professor Johnson tried not to analyze that response but failed. Did it mean she didn’t want to leave? That she could leave eventually?

  “Sure you can,” Tino said. “You know Pappy would take care of the farm.”

  “And what about Thud?” Dymphna asked.

  Did Professor Johnson imagine that her voice cracked?

  At the mention of his name, Thud looked up. He stared at Professor Johnson, who held his breath. Was he about to be exposed by his own dog?

  Thud went back to sleep.

  “Give him back to his real owner?” Tino asked.

  “Professor Johnson and I don’t like to think that animals have owners,” Dymphna said.

  “In any case,” Tino said, “I’m sure your boyfriend would be happy to take him back.”

  Professor Johnson stood up so fast, his glasses slipped down his nose. He smiled stupidly at the sliver of sky he could see through the hole in the porch roof.

  Boyfriend? She’s called me her boyfriend?

  “I can’t give you an answer right now,” Dymphna said.

  “Of course. It’s a lot to take in. But just think, Dymphna, we’d be doing cutting edge research.”

  “You’d be doing cutting edge research.”

  “I’ve seen you working with animals. I suspect we’d be doing it together.”

  Cutting edge research? I’m in trouble now. Who could resist that? “That sounds very interesting,” Dymphna said.

  “I guess I should let you sleep on it,” Tino said.

  “Thanks.”

  Were they going to sleep on it together? Were they going to walk onto the porch? Professor Johnson’s heart started to pound. He could hear chairs scrape against the floor. They were getting up!

  “I know you have a lot to think about,” Tino said. “Just let me ask you one thing.”

  “Okay.”

  “How much is this Professor Johnson my competition?”

  Professor Johnson knew it wouldn’t be fair to eavesdrop on the answer—or perhaps he didn’t want to hear the answer. He turned and walked through the doorway.

  He forgot that Dymphna didn’t know he was back. All she saw was a man coming through her doorway. She screamed. Reaching out to her was the last thing he remembered.

  He woke slowly to Thud licking his face. He could hazily make out voices above him.

  “So you know this guy?” Tino said.

  “Yes,” Dymphna said. “He’s . . .”

  “Your competition,” Professor Johnson said through a swollen lip.

  He opened his eyes. Dymphna was kneeling beside him.

  She touched his cheek. “I’m so sorry. You scared me. What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here until next week.”

  “Miscommunication,” Professor Johnson said as he sat up. He always said that Fat Chance had to get better cell service or somebody could get hurt. He had just expected that it would be someone else.

  “Sorry, dude,” Tino said, giving the professor a hand up. “Dymphna screamed and I decked you.”

  “I assumed that was the scenario,” Professor Johnson said. “Have you seen my glasses?”

  Dymphna stood up and handed them to him. He put them on, testing to see if he had a broken nose. It appeared that the only damage was to his lip.

  “Tino,” Dymphna said by way of introduction, “this is Professor Johnson. He has a PhD in natural sciences. Professor Johnson, this is Dr. Constantino Valentine. He’s the vet who treated Thud after the Fandango.”

  The men nodded to each other. Professor Johnson was acutely aware that in the introduction department, Tino won.

  “Tino was just—” Dymphna started.

  “I know,” Professor Johnson said, holding up a hand. “I heard.”

  Dymphna flushed.

  “How much did you hear?” Tino asked, eyes narrowing.

  “You asked Dymphna to go to Chile with you. I believe you were offering her a life of research.”

  “That’s about right,” Tino said. “You got something better?”

  “Cutting edge research in Latin America?” Professor Johnson said miserably. “Or staying here in Fat Chance while I pan for any relic that might be of interest for a two-bit museum? No, I don’t have something better.”

  Professor Johnson felt guilty calling his museum two-bit. But he had to admit, it paled in comparison to the International Livestock Research Institute.

  Dymphna bristled. “Excuse me. I’m standing right here. Do I have a say in this?”

  “Of course,” Professor Johnson said.

  “Where would you rather do research?” Tino asked.

  Dymphna threw her arms up in the air and walked out the door. The two men stared at each other. Thud barked and broke the impasse. The men followed Dymphna into the yard.

  When they caught up with her, Dymphna was looking down at Fat Chance. The din from town had been reduced to a murmur and the smell of barbecue had faded from the breeze. From their vantage point, Dymphna, Professor Johnson, and Tino saw Fernando, Polly, and a young man they didn’t know, all cleaning the smokers.

  “It was a good day,” Dymphna said to Professor Johnson. “A really good day for Fat Chance.”

  He smiled at her. He knew exactly what she meant. Even given the fact that he had been gone, his heart had been with this town, with her, all these months. It wasn’t research in Chile, but it was something. He only hoped it was enough.

  “Professor,” Tino broke in, “Dymphna has a lot to think about. Why don’t you and I call it a day?”

  Thud leapt into the air and started barking. The trio turned to him in surprise.

  “Thud?” Dymphna said. “What is it, boy?”

  Thud stopped barking as suddenly as he’d begun. Professor Johnson covered his head as something whizzed by his shoulder. Whatever it was landed with a clatter, rolling through the yard, scattering chickens. When Professor Johnson looked up, there was a duck sitting in the middle of the yard.

  “Crash!” Dymphna called.

  She dropped to her knees and the little duck waddled over. Dymphna wrapped her arms around the duckling and kissed its feathered head. For a few moments, nobody spoke. The two men exchanged an anxious glance. N
either knew exactly what was happening, but it seemed like something big. Finally, Dymphna rose to her feet, still cradling the duck.

  “He came back,” Tino said.

  While Professor Johnson had immensely enjoyed his own moment with Dymphna, he realized these two had their own shared history.

  “I guess we should go,” Professor Johnson said.

  The men turned to go.

  “You don’t have to go,” Dymphna said quietly. “I’ve made up my mind.”

  Tino and Professor Johnson froze. The professor thought it was interesting that both men had something huge at stake. In a moment, one of them would win and one would lose. This should have made them enemies. But since they were in exactly the same boat, they were also comrades.

  Why am I thinking about this?

  “Professor Johnson,” Dymphna said, “this is Crash.” She added, “He’s a duck.”

  Professor Johnson nodded. “I see that.”

  “Tino brought this duck to me when he was a ball of fluff too small to fend for himself. I raised him, knowing he might leave. I hoped he’d stay. I loved him. But when he flew away, I knew I had to be brave, because he had to follow his heart. We all have to follow our hearts.”

  Dymphna stopped talking. It was clear she felt she had explained herself, but Professor Johnson was lost. He snuck a peek at Tino, hoping to gauge by Tino’s reaction if he should be ecstatic or heartbroken. Tino looked just as confused.

  Dymphna walked to Tino and stood in front of him. Professor Johnson looked at his shoes, but he stole a glance and saw that Crash was staring at him from Dymphna’s arms.

  He was going to lose.

  “Tino,” Dymphna said, “Crash came back! Don’t you see what that means?”

  “That I can sure pick my ducks?”

  “No. I hoped Crash would never leave, but I was ready to accept the fact that he might. I never considered he might leave and then come back.”

  “Uh-huh,” Tino said. “Could you give me . . . just a little more?”

  “He came back because he loves me,” Dymphna said. “He came back.”

  Professor Johnson’s head snapped up. “I came back!” he said. “I came back because I love you! I’m your duck!”