by Leanne Davis
Suppressing a groan, Tracy believed her behavior had continued right into today; the worst day of her life. Still, Vickie had something so much more important to share with the family.
She hugged both of her parents. They patted her back and clucked over her, quickly assuring themselves that she and the kids were physically fine.
Finally, they were all seated in her living room. She sat down, feeling, once again, despondent. Gretchen sat beside her and clutched her hand while smiling in support. Genuine, kind support. She started talking with everyone’s gazes riveted on her. Her parents went through a micro-version of the various stages of grief: at least the shock and denial that she, herself, had already experienced. Along with Donny, Vickie, and Gretchen. And Tony. And her kids. It was simply a shock to anyone who knew her husband.
Her dad got up and gave her a long hug before her mother came over. She took Tracy’s hand in hers. The support felt nice. No, wonderful. More tears leaked from her eyes.
Finally, Donny cleared his throat, and she glanced up at him. He was sitting next to Vickie on the loveseat. Tony was on his left, sitting in a wing chair. They were a startling pair of brothers, and looked a lot alike. Almost like twins. It was very obvious they were brothers. They had the same brown shade of hair, and dark, brown eyes. Both tall and strapping, and lean, but strong. Donny had wider shoulders. And two arms. Tony, unfortunately, lost one of his in a tragic war injury. An event that ultimately drew Gretchen and him together.
Tony was intense. Serious. Quiet. He rarely smiled. He only spoke when he really felt the need to communicate. He always smiled a lot with Gretchen. Donny wasn’t like that. Donny was funny, and charming with everyone, be it a big group or just one other person. He had a strong, clear voice that easily charmed women and men. His electric smile crinkled his eyes and made anyone near him smile too. He was engaging, sweet, strong, and very well liked. Micah, more than once, remarked that it was a good thing Vickie got pregnant or there was no way Donny would have stayed with her otherwise. He was too nice a guy and too great a catch. He held down a well paying job. He had ambitions to advance further too. He was smart and worked hard, and so not who anyone expected to choose Vickie. It was a huge relief to her parents and to her. Finally! Maybe Vickie would stay with this man because he was so stable and solid. Maybe, finally, they could let someone else worry about Vickie.
If Vickie weren’t, yet again, pregnant, what more could have possibly added to the gloom of the day?
Donny started, “I looked through some of Micah’s stuff.”
All eyes turned to Tracy, who caught and held Donny’s gaze. “And?”
He sighed. “And I think he planned to flee.”
“Well, I deduced that when he said he had an entirely new identity.”
“Right,” Donny said, his tone completely neutral despite her snarky reply. He probably sensed she wasn’t exactly pissed at him, just pissed in general. “So, the thing is, over the last few months; he paid off the house. Your car. All the bills that could possibly be paid, have been. He practically set you up here, Tracy. Other than a few incidentals, he actually left you pretty well set. I’m guessing, the funds he used were stolen. I’m also guessing he was preparing for this long before he actually did it. Micah’s disappearance means, he will be wanted, but not convicted of anything.”
“He said we were broke and losing the house.” I’ll fix this for you somehow. Micah’s words echoed in her mind. Tracy made a fist of her hand, digging her fingernails into her palm. This is how he best thought to take care of her? She had everything, but no Micah. No hope of having Micah. No future ever, really, with Micah. He bought her off by providing her with the life he stole from her.
“He was until he paid it all off.”
She shook her head in more shock. She thought they were about to lose the house and the cars, but now she had all of that still. But not her husband. “How much money do you think he stole?”
“A lot. For us, I mean. I think we’re talking about a half million dollars. He could pay all that off and flee.”
“What about you?”
Donny shrugged. “What could he do? He lost my money. He can’t pay off my mortgage or business now, can he? It’s not like I would accept any stolen cash.”
“So you’re still screwed. Your money is still gone.”
Donny’s jaw shifted forward. His restrained fury was very evident. “Yeah. I’m still broke.”
Tony nodded his head. “We’ll cover you.”
“We’ll help too. Both of you,” Jay volunteered. Tracy’s heart fluttered. Family. Sometimes there was nothing better. Or stronger. Or more heartbreaking.
Donny shrugged. “Not yet. Only if I can’t pull things off.”
Tracy stood up. Her skin suddenly felt tight and itchy. She was guilty, like she had done something to Donny, yet she hadn’t. Still, she blamed herself. Staring out the window, her voice sounded hollow as she nearly sighed, “I’m sorry.”
“I don’t blame you.”
She shook her head and turned back to the room. “So what do you two need to add to this misery party?”
Vickie suddenly sunk down on the couch and averted her face. Weird. When did Vickie ever feel embarrassed about her behavior or news? Three failed marriages? No problem. She’d have another wedding without a second’s hesitation. Thousands on her credit cards, and plenty of denials at different retailers… Who cares? She didn’t. So what was this?
Donny dropped his head and gazed at his feet. What was it? The silence dragged on. It finally piqued Tracy’s curiosity enough to lift her gaze. If they were this upset, maybe it was serious.
Were they divorcing? Oh shit! How could she not guess that? Of course. Almost two years, Vickie’s usual timeline, and once again, so it continues. She sighed. She’d miss Donny. Of all her brothers-in-law from Vickie, he was by far her favorite. No matter how often he persuaded her to babysit when she didn’t want to.
“So, uh, Vickie has a problem.”
Donny’s voice was unusually subdued, sounding almost unsure. He lifted his face and looked toward Vickie, who shut her eyes as if from embarrassment. He reached over and took her hand in a gentle, caring grasp. What the hell? Okay, not divorcing. Tracy tried to ignore the stab of jealousy. There was no Micah for her to reach over and get a silent touch of support from.
“What now?” Gretchen asked with a deep sigh. Donny glanced up with a glare at Gretchen. He and Gretchen had a love/hate thing going on. Donny didn’t always like how Gretchen talked about Vickie. But Gretchen was Vickie’s primary caretaker, literally speaking, until Donny married her. No one suffered more from Vickie’s carelessness than Gretchen. While Tracy was busy with her two girls, Gretchen had to handle Vickie all those years.
Donny straightened his spine. “You don’t have to start off like that. What has she done to you recently?”
Tony shot Donny a look. “These statements are not unfounded about Vickie, now, are they?”
Donny held Tony’s dour gaze. “Fuck. You two don’t know anything.”
Her parents flinched and her mouth dropped open in shock. Hearing Donny speak that way in front of all of them shocked her. He rarely did. Not like that.
“Gretchen knows Vickie. You’re the one who never did,” Tony answered with a grunt of disgust. He tolerated Vickie, but made it known he didn't like her contacting Gretchen for help anymore.
In a way, she wanted to cheer Donny on. How many people ever defended Vickie? Though, she probably didn’t deserve it, everyone needed someone in her corner. So, even after all of Vickie’s shenanigans, it was hard not to feel a tug of respect for Donny because he was there. But she understood Gretchen and Tony’s weariness. She had to foot most of Vickie’s bills for years. Thousands of dollars. No doubt, that was the reason why Tony was in her corner.
And another reason, in Tracy’s opinion, for why two brothers should never marry two sisters. It was so damn weird in her opinion. She was always glad she wasn’t on
e of them. It made things too complicated.
“What is going on?” she asked gently, trying to defuse the volatile situation between the two brothers.
Donny glanced around the room, before finally meeting her eyes and she gave him a subtle nod of “yes” to whatever he was silently asking.
He softly said, “Vickie is an alcoholic.”
Stunned silence. Every bit as stunning as her news about Micah. What the hell just happened? Did the earth tilt and shift on its access? Was the moon out of orbit? What was happening to the people she thought she knew and loved?
Gretchen scoffed. “What are you talking about? My sister is not an alcoholic. I think I’d know. I lived with her off and on for three years. Longer than you have. You’re sadly mistaken, Donny.”
Vickie stared at her heeled feet, and Tracy glanced at her own bare toes. Was there anything about Vickie and her that was the same?
Alcoholic? No. She saw Vickie a lot. She didn’t see her drink that often. Sure, Vickie partied on weekends, or had done so until the last year, but an alcoholic? Donny was just trying to excuse Vickie’s flighty, difficult personality.
Even her parents glared at Donny. “Donny! How can you say such a thing?” Gayle demanded, her tone indignant.
His hands were clasped before him, with his elbows resting on his knees. He stared with unseeing eyes at his hands. “Because it’s true.”
“Take it back right now, young man. She’s not. She hardly drinks.”
“I’m sorry, Gayle, but she is. I live with her. I should know.”
“Come on, Don, she’s always been the life of the party, but that doesn’t make one an alcoholic. I think you’re stretching things a lot,” Jay interjected.
Donny scoffed as he shook his head. He suddenly looked up and began to drill first her mother and then her father.“Why? Why are you both so damn blind about her? You aren’t doing her any favors, you know. If you had observed her more carefully five years ago, maybe she’d have skipped her last three marriages. Or not maxed out all the credit cards. Or…”
“Donny, stop,” Gretchen admonished. Her concern was on her parents. None of them ever directly confronted their parents on the virtual lack of rules when it came to Vickie. It was an unspoken thing in the family. No one disparaged Vickie in front of their parents.
He glanced at Vickie, who brought her hands to her face and hid behind them. Tracy’s stomach started to tighten and hurt again. Shit. Vickie didn’t deny what Donny was saying. Could there be… some truth to it? The thought was so weird and off and wrong. No. Vickie didn’t drink. Not that often.
He rubbed a hand to his neck, and his voice sounded tired when he spoke. “I can’t. I need all of your help. Julia can’t be safely left in her care.”
Gayle stood up. “Oh for God’s sake! Of course, Julia can be entrusted in her mother’s care.”
The unheard of outburst left the entire room staring at Gayle with their mouths dropped open. All except Vickie and Donny. Vickie finally lifted her head. “No, she can’t. He-he’s right, Mom.”
“I don’t understand.” Her mother nearly swayed on her feet until Jay grabbed her arm and brought her gently to the couch. “I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
“He found me passed out on Wednesday. I don’t remember anything. Julia was in the house. I left her in the playpen. All alone. For hours. I don’t remember any of it. I was drunk.”
Tracy’s jaw simply didn’t close. She stared at Donny, recalling his desperation for her to watch Julia on Thursday. He kept his gaze glued to his black dress shoes. His dark slacks had been nicely pressed, but were wrinkled now after spending over a day there with her and her family.
“Vickie! Oh dear Lord,” Gretchen exclaimed, shocked. Her mouth hung open too.
“O-okay. That’s terrible. But one mistake doesn’t make her an alcoholic,” Gayle persisted.
“It does when it’s not the first time. Or even the tenth time,” Donny said softly.
“I DON’T UNDERSTAND,” Gayle protested, nearly screaming at Donny as if it were all his fault that her beloved princess wasn’t so wonderful after all.
“You never did.” Tracy glanced around, embarrassed when she realized she said it out loud. She wanted to suck the words back in. No. She didn’t want to go into that. Not today. Not with parents who never took her side over Vickie’s. But… she said it out loud. “You never saw her clearly.”
“Well, that’s because we love her.”
“So do I,” Donny said suddenly, and passionately. His gaze was burning into her mother’s. Tracy wanted to sink into the background. It was stunning for Tracy to see anyone yelling at her parents. No one ever had. Including her. It was so foreign, she felt nearly naughty for being a part of it. And it was surprising to be reminded how much Donny loved her sister. “I love her too, Gayle. Do you think I would say this flippantly? Or happily? Do you think I like finding my wife passed out in her own drool or vomit with no knowledge of how she got there? Let me tell you, I don’t.”
The picture he painted was so grizzly and horrible, it was sickening. Vickie turned her head away as if he hit her.
Gretchen finally spoke after a long, pronounced silence. Even Tony looked shocked and unsure of what to say. “Is this true, Vickie?”
Vickie very slowly raised her gaze to Gretchen’s, her dark eyes filling with tears. Her shame was clear when she faced Gretchen. “Yes.”
“How long? How long has this been going on?” asked Gretchen. She seemed the only one to know what to do or say.
Vickie shrugged. “Years. Since high school.”
“But you never drink. I see you all the time and you’re not drunk. You don’t even drink at Sunday dinners. You are not an alcoholic.” Gayle persisted.
“I can’t drink at Sunday dinners. Once I start, I don’t stop. Only when I pass out, do I stop. I can go for a few days or weeks, and then… I do it again. I go on day-long drinking binges. It’s why I lose my jobs, my friends, my boyfriends, my husbands, my money. It’s why I lose everything and have nothing.”
“You have me,” Donny exclaimed as he took her hand. She smiled at him. It wasn’t her normal smile. Her normal smile was sensual, wide and flirty. She was a beautiful woman. More so than even Gretchen. She nearly took your breath away. It wasn’t exaggerated. You kind of just wanted to stare at the perfection of her lovely face, framed by her thick, long, blond hair. She was that appealing. She was so extraordinarily pretty, it really did affect how everyone treated her, including her parents and sisters. She truly was allowed to get away with more while doing less. Tracy began to realize that even she did that. She couldn’t really blame her parents. How many times had she taken Julia? Grumbling and complaining, she still took her. Even Gretchen spent years making excuses for Vickie and taking care of her.
“How did this happen?” Jay finally asked, his tone solemn.
Vickie glanced with true apprehension in her eyes. Tracy also knew she could not stand to see their father’s disappointment. He was the last person to be judgmental. He rarely got upset with them, even when he probably should have. He was easy going. Maybe a tad too much. Still, it was hard to disappointment him.
“I just never stopped drinking. I did it at first for fun. Partying. Being young. Everyone else stopped as they started their careers, or families, or both. I just did nothing. I started nothing. I stopped nothing. I try to stop. I tell myself ‘this is the last time’ and I believe I can. Until a week or two goes by, and I think, well, I’ve been so good, it must be okay. I didn’t know myself for a long time.”
Tracy’s heart blipped. “Did you drink while you were pregnant?”
“No. That’s why it took Donny longer than most husbands to discover my secret. I stopped and had to restrain myself. It was actually one of my greatest accomplishments, even though no one knew.”
Gretchen stood up, crossed the room, and pulled Vickie up and into her arms. They were almost eye to eye. Blond to blond. Gorgeous to gor
geous. Tracy used to wonder if she were somehow adopted, or maybe her mother cheated somewhere along the way. But no. They both simply looked just like Dad; and she looked just like Mom. Freaky thing, genetics. Kind of depressing being the middle child who messed up the perfect similarity to her siblings. Family pictures had Gretchen standing, then down to her, and then right back up to Vickie.
Tony shuffled around. “I’m sorry. I had no idea this is where you were going.”
“No one did,” Donny said, his tone grim. She glanced at him. He caught her stare, holding it as his mouth tightened before he finally dipped his head as if to say, “Yeah, this is for real.”
She was stunned. She was appalled. She… should have cared a whole lot more. Her heart was so full of her own mess, and her own grief, she simply didn’t have anything left in her. She stared at Vickie and the only thing she could think of was that she did this to herself. Vickie had, once more, caused it herself, while Tracy didn’t do anything. She was truly a victim. They all came to Tracy’s house to support her; but as usual, they ended up being there more for Vickie. Vickie’s news was more shocking and important to them. Vickie needed more support and care and love.
And Tracy had none left to give. She quietly got up and slipped out of the room as the conversation continued.
Chapter Seven
TRACY WALKED THROUGH HER kitchen and onto the back deck. It overlooked the small, pristine lake. She crossed over the deck to a path leading to an idyllic bench that offered a great view of the beach. She sat down. The dark was nice. No peering eyes. She stared at the moonlight on the lake, and shivered at the cool, autumn air. However, quite clearly in her mind, she could picture Micah sitting next to her. Sometimes, they came out there to discuss things they didn’t want to talk about in front of the girls. Work. Finances. Problems with clients. Problems with family. Problems with the girls. Problems between them.