by Mandy Bee
The word family really does fit for our group. It’s amazing how fast they became a part of us. Dave, Scot and Chris act like they have known each other their whole lives. Its so nice to watch them have fun together, it’s great that Chris has some true friends now too. Justin and Chris also get along great, but not as well as the others. I think it is because of how well Justin and I get along. Sometimes I like to think he prefers being with me then with the guys, but this is just me dreaming, I know he likes hanging out with me but those are his band brothers, I’m just a tag along.
“Big show tonight!” Chris says as he walks onto the bus.
“I know.” It’s the LA show, then we have three days off. We meet everyone in New York and then we head overseas for three months.
From what I have been told we will have a bus over there too. Justin promises I’ll love it but as long as I’m with the band I don’t care. We won’t be on the bus the whole time, we have to take a few flights here and there but the way the tour dates are planed once we fly back to a certain place the bus will be waiting for us there. It confused me to the point I told them as long as I had somewhere to sleep then I didn’t care. That’s when I found out we would be staying in five star hotels when not on the bus. This is going to be so cool!
“Are you packed?” Chris asked me for the hundredth time.
“Yes, are you?” I ask him because I know he isn’t.
“No, but I don’t have that much stuff, you have ten suit cases.” He teases then hands me a soda. “Are you looking forward to being home for a few days?”
“I guess.” No I’m not! For the first time in my life I don’t want to go home.
“You know Justin is flying the jet to Sacramento to pick us up, then we are flying to New York for two days.” I know he is watching me to see if I react.
“I know, he told me last night. He wants to take me shopping in New York, I told him I would think about.”
“Oh that reminds me, here.” He hands me a credit card.
“What’s this for?”
“I added you to my account, now you can buy what you want and don’t have to ask me.” I’m shocked, I know he makes good money now but to do this, wow!
When they got his contract fixed and everything finalized, Justin had him sit down with an accountant and figure out some of the basic stuff. They set it up so Chris can pay everything online, all our bills for the house and everything else too. I never really ask for money, if I need anything I just ask Chris to get it for me, but now I have my own card, this is weird to me.
“Chris I don’t need this, if I need anything I always just ask you.” I try to hand it back to him but he won’t take it.
“With this you don’t need to ask anymore, just go buy whatever you want.”
“What if I go and buy a four thousand dollar watch or something?” I smirk at him.
“I know you better, but if you want something that is really expensive come to me first. I’m making more money now then I ever have before. I’m by no means rich, and with the house already paid for there is some extra spending money.”
“I’ll think about.” I put the card in my pocket. Maybe I’ll go shopping in New York without Justin.
HOME SWEET HOME, or that is what this used to be, now it is nothing but a house. We got here around three this morning. After saying goodbye to everyone we caught the redeye home. I woke up to the smell of coffee and a girl laughing. Great I wonder which bimbo is here this time. Chris has some old high school ‘friends’ that love to just show up the minute we get home, and try to talk him into letting them leave with us. I walk into the kitchen and there is a girl in a bikini top and bootie shorts sitting on the counter top drinking coffee.
“Flower you’re up,” Chris comes over and gives me a hug. “you remember Tammy, don’t you?” He is acting weird.
“No, not really.” I go to get some coffee, I’ll need it to deal with Miss perky.
“Sure you do, she used to baby sit you.” He nudges me.
“Chris, all of your little friends used to baby sit me.” I snap at him then look over at her. “Can you get down from there? I would like to fix something to eat.” I’m being rude but I don’t care. I don’t like most of the girls Chris knows, they’re all hoes.
“No problem,” She jumps down “what are you fixing us for lunch?”
“I’m fixing me some oatmeal” Bitch don’t start with me.
“I don’t like oatmeal, can you fix me a spring salad?” Is this chick crazy?
“The only thing I’ll do for you is bust your lip if you don’t get the hell out of here!” I get right up in her face.
“I think you need to leave now.” Chris says and pulls on Tammy’s arm.
“But I thought we could hang out today, I’ve really missed my drummer boy!” She whines. Oh, please!
“Sorry, we have too much to do before we have to leave again.” He is walking her to the door but I’m watching them both.
“Can I come by tonight, maybe after she’s asleep? You know like we used to do.” She tried to whisper.
“No, I don’t think that would be a good idea. I’ll call you next time I’m in town. Sorry, bye.” He shuts the door then locks it.
“Please tell me I didn’t just hear that bimbo say that she used to sneak into this house to have sex with you while I was asleep!?” I’m screaming at him.
“At least my room is sound proof.” He says but looks like he knows I’m about to hit him, so I do. I punch him hard in the arm.
“You dumb ass! Your room is sound proof so you can play your drums!! Not have sex with bitches like that!!” Oh I want to kill him!
“I know, and I’m sorry okay? I didn’t know she was going to be here today, and I really didn’t think she would act like that.” He grunts and walk back into the kitchen and starts fixing me some oatmeal.
“Listen I don’t care who you have sex with, we talked about that a few years ago. All I asked of you was that I never find out who they were, do you remember that?” I’m not screaming but I’m still mad.
“Yes, I remember that day very well. I started out talking to you about sex, and some how you turned the tables on me.”
“Well you were the only one having sex at the time, why did I need a sex talk?” It was funny seeing his face when I said this, shocked was an understatement.
“Did you say I was ‘the only one having sex at the time’? What does that mean? Are you having sex?” Where the hell did that come from?
“No! How did you get that from what I said?”
“Flower look at me, if you and Justin are…..”
“We aren’t!” I cut him off “I don’t know where you got that I was having sex from me saying that you were having sex back then, but you need to get something through your head. I’M A VIRGIN!” I stomp out of the room without my coffee or my oatmeal. Slamming my bedroom door behind me and locking it, I throw myself on my bed. How could he think that? Me and Justin? That will never happen, even if I wanted it too, which I don’t.
“Flower open up!” Chris knocks then tries to open the door, sorry big bro it’s locked.
“Just leave me alone, I don’t want to talk to you!”
“Open this door right now!” He screams.
“Go screw a slut!” That must have been the wrong thing to say because the next thing I know he is kicking in my door.
“Don’t you ever talk to me like that!” He screams at me after breaking down my door.
“What the hell? Get out!” I scream and jump off the bed.
“No! You are going to sit down, shut up and listen.” He points to my bed for me to sit. I cross my arms over my chest and stand there looking at him.
“Fine. I don’t know what has gotten into you today but you better get it under control. I know Tammy was out of line, but I made her leave. Yes, what she said about the past was true but I was a lot younger when it happened. I’m sorry but you’re old enough now to understand this, I’m a male, I have needs
like everyone else does.”
“Okay, ew please stop.” I don’t want to hear about his sex life.
“It’s true, I’m not a saint sis, sorry to disappoint you. I shouldn’t have to explain my sex life to you, but being your brother and guardian you will explain yours to me!”
“There is nothing to explain, what part of ‘I’m a virgin’ didn’t you understand?” I’m so close to kicking his ass.
“So you and Justin have never……” His breathing is starting to even out, that means his temper is calming down.
“No, we haven’t. We are just friends, why can’t anybody understand this? Justin and I are just friends! We don’t kiss, we don’t touch, and we don’t have sex!”
“Okay, okay. It just worries me, I mean anyone can see that you two are close but I didn’t know how close. Then your statement about it was ‘only me’ having sex back then just sent me……just promise if you two do decide to take this friendship to another level you’ll tell me?”
“Oh yeah, you’ll be the first person I’ll call.” I roll my eyes at him, I mean after this he really thinks I’ll tell him anything about Justin.
“I’m serious, if you want to have sex, then that’s your choice. But I want you to protect yourself. I can’t say anything about having sex at your age, hell I was a lot younger my first time. I just need to know that you’re safe, no matter what you’re doing.”
“You know what, this whole conversation is making me want to throw up. If I have any chance of keeping food down, so I can take my meds, then we need to stop talking.” I walk to my door, well my broken door and look back at him “And you will buy me a new door.”
We didn’t talk for almost three hours, I could barely look at him and not want to puke. I wonder how many girls snuck in our house after I was asleep. I guess he didn’t want me to know about it, understandable too, but still just the thought of it makes me mad. Right as I’m starting to lay out my stuff so I can repack my phone goes off, its Justin calling me. I wonder how he would react to what Chris said, only one way to find out.
“You’re kidding me? He said that?” Justin is in total disbelief.
“Yup, and like he could talk in the first place. He was sneaking bimbos in after I went to bed! Oh and he broke down my door too.” I’m pouting, but I’m trying to tell him what happened without telling him a play by play which is very hard.
“He what? Why did he brake down your door?” He is laughing now, I love his laugh.
“After Chris asked about us having sex I went to my room and locked my door, he tried to come in and I wouldn’t let him. I told him to ‘go screw a slut’.” I start dying laughing, well we both do. “That’s when he kicked in the door. Don’t worry I flipped out on him, then he started telling me that he wasn’t a saint, he said all that stuff happened years ago, and that he didn’t have to explain his sex life but I had to explain mine.”
“Wow, well your day has been a lot more exciting then mine!”
“So you’re not mad at him for what he said? I mean he basically said he thought you and I were…….you know” I wish he would get a little upset about this.
“No, I’m not mad. But I wish he would have talked to me about it. I mean I would never even think about asking you out without talking to him first. It’s a respect thing, I would do the same thing if he was your dad, which in a way he kind of is.”
“So do you mean to tell me that if you ever decide to ask me out, that my brother will find out before me?” This I don’t like at all.
“I don’t know, I would hope he would let us decide what we want to do, but it doesn’t look like that now.” He sighs.
“Please change the subject I’m starting to get depressed again.” I grunt and fall back onto my bed.
“I guess I should tell you the reason I called you”
“You mean it wasn’t just to talk to me and hear my voice” I tease him.
“Yes that too, but if it is okay with you I would like to fly down a day early, maybe we could hang out or something.”
“You’re coming early?” I scream almost giddy like “That would be great! And you have to stay with us, I will not have you getting a hotel room for one silly night.” I’m bouncing on my bed I’m so happy.
“Then its settled I’ll see you around noon tomorrow. Be dressed and I’ll take you both to lunch.”
“Absolutely not, I will cook lunch and have it waiting for you.” I giggle.
“Fine by me, I need to finish packing now. I’ll see you tomorrow” I can almost hear him smiling.
“Okay, I can’t wait to see you! Bye” I start to hang up but then I hear him say something.
“Oh I so can’t wait. Mom she said yes!” He must have not realized that he had not hung up. I can hear him running, then I hear his mother’s voice.
“She did? Oh sweetie I’m so happy for you! You finally found a girl you like, and she sounds like an angel.” I hear him moving around.
“I know, oh I can’t wait to get her to New York. I’m taking her to the opera and then…” I hang up, oh my God what did I just hear? He likes me? She thinks I sound like an angel? The opera? Oh my God!
I sink to my knees on the floor, I’m shaking so bad you would think I was freezing to death. Chris finds me like this a few minutes later.
“What the….are you okay? What happened?” He pulls me up to the bed and just stares at me.
“Justin called, he’ll be here tomorrow and will be staying the night with us. I was so happy about it. Then I went to hang up but heard him talking, he forgot to hang up and I heard him talking to his mom.” All the blood has drained from my face. “He likes me, he really likes me. She was happy he finally found a girl he likes, she thinks I sound like an angel. Oh Chris what am I going to do?”
“You are going to be happy for yourself, for once in your life be a normal teenage girl and be happy that he likes you.” He smiles at me, a true ‘I’m happy for you’ smile.
“But what if this causes problems in the band?”
“It can’t, we are already used to you guys being together. Now just put a label on it, I’m happy for you. He’s a good guy, I respect him, and I trust him.”
“Are you the same brother that broke my door in because you were worried about me having sex with the same guy you are now happy about liking me?”
“Yes, I realized I was a jerk and I have been trying to think of a way to say how sorry I am but I just kept drawing a blank.”
“Well let me fix that for you, I need to go shopping. I need a new suitcase, and we need to get some food too. I’m cooking lunch for the three of us tomorrow.”
“I’ll get the keys.”
BREATHE JUST BREATHE, you have spent three months with him, this is no big deal. I’m giving myself a pep talk. Justin called and is on his way from the airport, I’m guessing he will be here any minute now. I have lunch done and I pray he likes it. I made homemade salsa to go with the pita chips we got from the store. I did a remix of chicken enchiladas, they have a spicy white cheese sauce instead of the traditional red sauce. Then dessert is something really special, I found a recipe online for a triple chocolate crumb cake, it is just like the one we had at Joe’s Pub when he took me to lunch.
I check myself in the hall mirror one more time, I’m trying to look my best. I have on a soft pink summer halter dress, white sandals, and my hair is up in a clip. I didn’t put on any makeup, he seams to like me better without it. I made Chris clean the house while I cooked. He laughed and said he would tell Justin but I told him to go ahead that I would just say the mess was from his late night visitors. That got him to shut up real fast. The door bell rings, oh my God he’s here! Breathe just breathe, and smile.
“Hey, come on in.” Chris answers the door then steps aside to let him in. That’s when I see him, oh he looks good! Black jeans, a tight dark green t-shirt, and a black leather jacket. He screams bad boy, but I know better.
“Flower” He says almost as a whisper then c
omes and swipes me into a spinning hug! He sets me down laughing. I hug him tight one more time then let go.
“Lunch is ready, why don’t you go wash up while I set everything out. Chris will show you where you’ll be staying.” I turn to head for the kitchen. I have plated everything already, and kept everything warm in the oven. Once I have everything perfect I tell them to come eat.
“You made all this?” Justin asks.
“Yup, and I have a surprise for dessert.” I bit my lip and sit down to eat. I put Chris at the head of the table and Justin across from me.
“Wow this is incredible, you need to start cooking for us on the bus!” Justin says with a mouth full of food.
“We’ll see.” Is all I can say.
During lunch Justin tells us that the reason he left early was because he couldn’t stand to be that close to John, it still hurts to much. If we had said no, he would have just flown to San Francisco and hung out with some people he knew there. I asked him what the plan was for New York, he said we have a photo shoot, and a live TV interview. This is the interview I have been praying would go away. I have done a few radio interviews but now we are going to be on the Today show. They want me there too, because I will be traveling with the band and all.
“Don’t worry you’ll be fine, we’ll be there to back you up.” Justin smiles over at me.
“I know, it will be okay.” I take a deep breath trying to clear my head. “Okay who is ready for dessert?” I go to get the cake that I have already sliced and plated.
“Oh wow, how did you do this?” Justin asks then dives right in, moaning with pleasure.
“I found a recipe online, I knew you would love it!” I bounce in my seat a little.
“Would someone like to tell me what is so special about this cake?” Chris asks while he enjoys his slice as much as we enjoy ours.