But this time had been different. She’d learned from her mistakes. This time she’d proved that they were beyond rows, they were a partnership. As soon as she’d worked out what to do to help him, she’d acted impulsively. She called Paul immediately and when he said he’d have a word with Dan’s old boss she almost burst with pride because Dan would now know how much he needed her. She’d proved they were a team and that she’d grown. She’d been glad that now she’d had an excuse to phone Dan. She had to phone him before actually seeing Paul, didn’t she? Otherwise, it would have been a bit too much like plotting. And so she’d called him. She’d wanted to tell him to his face, but in the end, she’d had to tell his bloody answerphone. Hardly ideal, but there you go. She turned her back to the mirror and turned her neck round as far as she could, to see the back view. She smiled. The answerphone messages had done the trick. Dan had just texted her to say he was on his way round and he’d signed off Dx. She had done it.
She turned to face the mirror again and bit by bit, lowered the veil over her face. She realized now that you earned a wedding, you didn’t just get it. You had to prove you were worthy of being a partner. It wasn’t just a big party in a gorgeous dress, it was a lifelong commitment to someone, and she had proved to Dan—and to herself—that she was ready. She lowered her head demurely behind her veil. She was so glad she’d got the shorter one, it showed off her cleavage at the same time as being virginal. Very sexy. It was at moments like these that she wished her mother lived in this country. But then, she reasoned, she was about to get a mother-in-law whom she found far easier to deal with than her own.
Sitting on the bed now, she slowly rolled her right stocking down the length of her thigh. Maybe Dan had actually been waiting for her to prove to him that she could be the partner he needed. Maybe Dan would even mention it in his wedding speech; say that he’d always known he’d loved her, but it wasn’t until she’d helped him win back his job that he knew he couldn’t live without her. Dewy-eyed, she looked at her ring again. Maybe for the first time, she could relax.
When she heard the key in her lock, she started. Dan never used his key. She jumped up and walked out of the bedroom into the lounge.
“Dan?” He was standing in the middle of the room and something about his expression brought her up short. “What’s wrong?”
“Gerry,” he whispered. “We have to talk.”
Back at the café, Katie had still not made contact with Great-Aunt Edna and was now worried. She’d phoned home and there had been no answer there either. She’d left an answerphone message with strict instructions to phone her as soon as they could. Meanwhile, she had one hour to oversee the transformation of the café into a party venue, and without Dan’s extra pair of hands, every minute counted. So when Hugh popped in to have a quick word with her and she was only blowing up the third of several dozen balloons, she was not best pleased.
“Can we talk?” he asked. “Maxine’s coming to the party.”
She took a balloon out of her mouth. “Can you blow up balloons?”
“Er, yes.”
“Right,” she said, handing him one. “Go on then.”
“Well,” he said, “I just wanted to say—”
“I don’t see you blowing, Hugh.”
“Right.” Hugh started blowing. “I just wanted to say—”
“That’s not big enough.”
He sighed, blew very hard and started tying a knot in the neck. “I just wanted to say that I don’t know what came over me at the wedding.”
“Here’s a blue one.”
“Thank you.”
They blew two more balloons.
“I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry.”
“It’s OK, Hugh. You were very drunk.”
“Yes. And very lonely. Amazing how much I missed Maxine.”
“Of course. You were missing Maxine.”
“Oh yes, terribly.”
“Here’s a yellow one.”
“Thank you.”
They blew up another balloon each.
“Anyway,” said Hugh, “we’re both coming tonight and I do hope everything’s going to be all right.”
Katie temporarily stopped blowing. “You mean you hope I’m not going to say anything?”
“Well, yes, I suppose so.” He took another balloon. “This is quite fun actually,” he said before starting to blow. Katie watched him for a while. Men were all the same. “What’s it worth?” she asked. Hugh’s jaw dropped and his balloon flew all over the ceiling. “I—”
She started laughing. “I’m joking,” she said. “Do you think I want to incur the wrath of Maxine?”
“Oh thank God,” said Hugh. “But you won’t ever…I mean, it’s not just because it’s your boss’s party, is it?”
“What isn’t?”
“The fact that you’ve chosen not to say anything?”
Katie put down her balloon. “Hugh,” she said seriously. “That night had nothing to do with me. It was about you and Maxine. I’m delighted you have found your soul-mate. Delighted. I do not want to get in the way of that.”
“Good,” mumbled Hugh. “Yes, soul-mate.”
“I know now that all the mickey-taking you used to do when we were together in college was because you were in denial about your feelings for Maxine.”
Hugh’s eyes lit up. “Oh yes!” he said.
“It was blindingly obvious to me the minute you started going out with her.”
“Really?”
“God yes. Did you know we spent most of our relationship talking about her? You were already head over heels in love with her, you just didn’t know it.”
“God, you’re right! That’s amazing. Have you ever thought of becoming a therapist?”
She smiled. “Probably.”
“Thanks Katie.”
“It’s a pleasure. Here’s a gold one.”
“Thank you.”
When her mobile went, she let a half-blown balloon jet off in her rush to answer. It was her mother. She ran into the kitchen to take the call.
Gerry and Dan stood staring at each other in the middle of her lounge. Eventually Dan spoke. “Do you want to sit down?”
“Do I look like I want to sit down?” snapped Geraldine. He looked at her. She was wearing a cream basque, matching knickers, stockings—one half-rolled down—suspenders, high-heels, tiara and veil.
“Not really,” he said.
“You do realize it’s unlucky to see me in all this,” she said, but she knew it sounded hollow.
He gave her an apologetic smile.
She tried to take off her veil but it got stuck under the tiara. She lost patience and struggled with it, causing her tiara to tip and the veil to knot. She started to whimper and tears of frustration welled up in her eyes. Dan wavered. “Gerry, don’t.”
She stopped and looked at him, tiara wonky and veil a mess, cheeks flushed.
“Just say it, will you,” she said. “Just get it over with.”
“What…”
“Have you any idea,” she breathed, “how awful it is waiting to be chucked?”
He frowned.
“It’s like…” She closed her eyes as if in thought. “It’s like waiting to be sick. You feel ill but you just have to wait until your body vomits it all out.” She spoke in a dull voice. “And you know it’s going to get a lot worse before it gets any better.” She took a deep breath. “So stop the nausea, Daniel, and vomit me out.”
He grimaced.
“Say it!” she cried.
“All right!” he shouted back. “I can’t go through with the wedding. I’m sorry I’ve messed you around but I just can’t do it.”
The words stagnated in the air between them.
She suddenly yanked off her tiara, letting out a furious expletive as some hair came out in a clump with the veil. She stood up straight and spoke calmly. “I have to get out of these ridiculous clothes.” She walked out of the room, her wedding shoes marking the wooden floor a
s she went.
“I’ll wait here,” said Dan.
She turned back to him, silhouetted against her bedroom door. “Of course you’ll wait here, you fuck. You think I’m going to give you one last look while you chuck me? I could just put the footie on and you’d be in lads-mag heaven.”
She turned and slammed the bedroom door behind her.
Dan collapsed on the couch and looked at his watch. The party would be starting soon. Katie would be overseeing all the last-minute details. Oh God, why hadn’t he told her earlier exactly what she meant to him? He’d felt he owed it to both women to do this properly, and not go any further with Katie until he was officially a single man, but now he felt he needed Katie’s strength to help him do this. He had only really known how much he loved Katie when he’d heard her talk about his engagement as if it were fact. He’d felt pain in his gut at her words—and not because he was marrying Geraldine, but because he was leaving Katie for good. He winced. What a joke. It felt as if he’d been living a lie ever since Geraldine had worn the ring. No. It felt as if he’d been living a lie ever since he’d got back together with her again. No. It felt as if he’d been living a lie ever since he first went out with her. He was now shaking his head in wonder. That was a hell of a long time to be living a lie. Jesus, what on earth had he been doing with her all this time? Had he been waiting for something? And if so what? To fall in love with Geraldine? Or to find Katie?
He pictured Katie bustling round the café and kitchen, issuing orders, insulting the clients and generally burrowing a Katie-shaped tunnel under his skin. He pictured them owning the café together, their countless daughters (all with honey skin and autumn eyes) popping in throughout the day to have a good chinwag with their mum and dad. The thought that he had to wait until he’d got through this excruciating exchange with Gerry and then a car journey before he could hold Katie again—or even see her—was almost too much to bear. And in fairness it did Geraldine no justice. She deserved better than him racing out of here, he told himself. He’d stay as long as she needed him. He’d wasted enough of her life, he could give her one evening. He’d even stay over if he had to, sleep on the couch. Katie would understand. He’d phone her and explain.
When Geraldine came back she was in her business suit, complete with shoes and stockings. She’d even redone her make-up. She stood over him, arms crossed.
“Now,” she began. “Let’s discuss this like two adults. Drink?”
She poured them both a whisky and sat opposite him in the armchair. He felt as if he was being interviewed. As indeed he was.
“Tell me everything, Daniel.”
Katie sat staring at the oven, her mother’s voice still talking softly in her ear.
“Sweetheart,” said Deanna. “She died peacefully in her sleep. The best way to go. And she had a wonderful, long and happy life.”
“I-I’d only just got to know her properly,” whispered Katie.
“I know,” said Deanna, “but at least you did. You’ll have that forever.”
Katie heard her mother talk and then told her very simply and clearly that she had been trying to phone Great-Aunt Edna because she’d decided to back out of Ye Olde Tea Shoppe purchase. To her surprise her mother had sounded relieved. Katie had expected her to be distraught because it would mean she would now be staying in London. Encouraged by her mother’s response, she went on to explain, that instead, she was going to put the money toward the café where she already worked. “It would be exactly what Great-Aunt Edna would have wanted,” she finished. “I know it.”
There was a long pause.
“Oh my dearest girl, I don’t think you understand,” said Deanna gently.
“What?”
“She had an appointment booked with her solicitor for next week. To change her will.”
Katie felt her blood run cold. She didn’t really hear the rest of her mother’s response. She just sat there, realizing that because she’d taken too long to work out what she wanted to do with her life, Crichton Brown’s would close and they would all lose their jobs. She and Dan would never be partners. She would probably never be her own boss, let alone own a restaurant. She’d done it again. The orchestra had taken its bow and she’d missed the cue to play her bloody triangle.
Geraldine looked squarely at Dan. “Well?” she repeated. “I’m waiting.”
“I’m in love with someone else.”
And to Dan’s amazement, Geraldine lost it big time. As great clumps of black guck trickled down her cheeks, he marvelled that she, of all people, didn’t wear waterproof mascara.
“Who?” she breathed. “Who?”
“God, I’m so sorry Gerry—”
“Just tell me,” she roared, terrifying him into an admission.
“Katie.”
Geraldine stopped crying. There was a long silence. Then, slowly, she sat back in the armchair.
“You all right?” asked Dan nervously.
She half-smiled. “You know,” she said quietly. “It’s almost a relief.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
She took a gulp of her whisky and then gave him a long hard look. “God you must think I’m a bloody idiot.”
“Nothing of the sort.”
“Don’t patronize me, Daniel.”
“I’m not. If there’s one thing you’re not, it’s an idiot.”
“Huh.” She took another sip. “Except where you’re concerned.” He didn’t answer. “I know you went out with her while we were on our break.”
“Yeah, well, that all ended rather abruptly.”
“Well, she’s been in the wings ever since. Waiting oh so patiently.”
“Come off it Gerry. I wouldn’t have seen her ever again if I hadn’t taken over the café.”
She gave a sick smile. “All a bit of an accident, eh?”
“Yes,” said Dan. “A bit like us getting married, really.”
There was a moment’s pause, while Geraldine re-stocked on anger. “What?” she asked in a voice that used to turn his insides to ice.
“Well,” he stated, more sad than angry, “I hardly proposed, did I?”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Well, one minute we’re all discussing moules, the next you’re telling my parents we’re engaged.”
“We were engaged! I’d been looking for rings! What were they for, my nose?”
“Well, you hardly waited for me to ask, did you?”
“What century do you live in?”
“I’m not saying I had to get down on one knee—”
“Well, that obviously wasn’t going to happen, was it?”
“But it would have been nice if it had been a joint decision at least.”
“How could it be when you were too…too…”
He raised his eyebrows and waited.
She thought carefully. “Too complacent to get your finger out?”
He let out a laugh. “I have never dared to feel complacent with you. Do you have any idea what it’s like, being with someone you’re terrified might suddenly treat you like shit?”
“I didn’t treat you like shit; I had mood swings, like anyone normal. Are you trying to blame me for all this?”
He shook his head. “No. I’m just saying I never felt complacent.”
“Well good.”
They both took a sip of their whisky and looked at each other across the coffee table. Then she asked him to promise not to lie if she asked him a question. He gave a small nod.
“Did you ever kiss Katie when you were back with me?”
He paused and she started crying again.
“Only once,” he rushed, but she just cried more. “And we both felt terrible. We didn’t speak after that.”
“When?”
He gave a long sigh. “At Sandy’s wedding.”
There was silence and when he looked up, he saw that Geraldine was sobbing, her glass of whisky spilling on to the floor. He rushed over to her side and she l
eaned into him and then pushed him away. He stayed on the arm of her chair until her sobs subsided. Eventually she spoke.
“That was the day I went wedding dress shopping with your mother,” she managed.
Dan knew there was no way he could leave her here like this. He would just have to miss the beginning of the party. He poured another glass of whisky and held her hand while she drank it down.
Sukie found Katie sitting on the kitchen floor just as the party was about to get going. She practically dived on to the floor next to her and hugged her till she was ready to speak.
Katie told her that she had decided to leave the café and invest her money in one at home. Then Paul had dropped out of Crichton Brown’s and that Dan was going to have to sell. Then she’d considered putting her money into the business and saving Crichton Brown’s. Then she’d told Dan she’d known he was engaged when they’d kissed and he hadn’t apologized or denied it. Then Dan had begged her to go into business with him because they made such a good team and had almost cried. Then she’d insisted he go and tell Geraldine they’d kissed. Then Dan had gone to tell Geraldine and see if she approved of him and Katie going into partnership together. Then she had tried to phone Great-Aunt Edna to ask her what the hell to do, but couldn’t get through. Then her mother had just phoned to tell her that Great-Aunt Edna had died, which meant she didn’t have enough to save the café, go into business with Dan or buy her own café.
“But I can buy a nice watch,” whispered Katie.
Sukie stared at her and Katie started crying again. “My life is a very bad farce,” she sobbed.
“Sweetheart,” soothed Sukie. “Farces always have happy endings. Even the bad ones.”
“How can this one have a happy ending?” asked Katie miserably.
“I don’t know,” murmured Sukie. “But,” she brightened, “you’re not meant to know until the last scene. Until then, you just have faith.”
Geraldine sat back in the armchair, exhausted, and Dan stared at the floor.
“You aren’t the only one with someone in the wings,” she said. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Bryan, my boss,” she said. “All those trips.”
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