by Rachel Lee
Their answers were drowned out by Krystal. “A real horsey? A big one?”
Dan squatted. “Maybe not so big for the first time, Krys. A deputy friend of mine, name of Sarah? Her husband has a horse ranch. He’s got some ponies that might be great for your first ride. But only if it’s okay with your mom.”
That diverted Krystal straight over to Vicki, who, despite feeling a twinge of fear about what might happen to the girl if she fell from a horse, couldn’t help laughing at her daughter’s excitement. “We’ll see,” she said repeatedly. “We’ll see. But don’t bug me about it, kiddo.”
Krys turned to Dan. “Bugging is bad.”
“Yes, it is,” he agreed, straightening. He looked at Vicki. “Did I put my foot in it?”
She shook her head with a smile. The offer had been intended kindly, and she wanted Krys to have every possible good experience. Vicki could endure the inevitable pestering.
“Go wash up for dinner,” she told Krys. But her eyes seemed to have locked with Dan’s, and she felt a warm tingle inside, accompanied by a slight speeding of her heart.
She turned swiftly back to the salad, resisting her response to the man. She’d cataloged his attractiveness at the very beginning, but it had been only that: noticing it but not responding to it. Now that she’d caught up some on her rest, her body seemed to be taking a different attitude.
She didn’t want it. She absolutely did not want it. She wasn’t ready for another man, any man, and least of all one who risked his life on a regular basis. One trip through that hell had been quite enough.
“Do I smell your famous mac and cheese?” Dan asked, returning everything to normal, especially for Vicki.
“That you do,” Lena answered from the sink, where she was washing the cheese grater. “It’s almost ready. Why don’t you set the table?”
They gathered around the big round table in the kitchen instead of using the dining room. Krys was ravenous, and at first said very little. A couple times Vicki told her to slow down so she didn’t get a tummy ache. Krys slowed down, but not for long. Her only comment was “I like white mac and cheese better than orange.”
“A hit.” Dan smiled. He was doing a pretty good job of eating his portion. “So, are you planning to go to the county fair this year?”
Lena shook her head slowly. “Hadn’t thought about it. Krys should go, though. She’d probably like the rides. And, Vicki, I think you’d love the crafts. Some of the women around here make amazing quilts, and the knitting...well, if I could ever knit even stitches, I might go over to Cory’s place and join one of her classes.” Lena explained that there was a sewing and knitting shop just down the street from the diner. “You might like that, too.”
“I might,” Vicki agreed pleasantly, but her mind was back on the county fair. Had Lena just attempted some matchmaking, saying Krys and Vicki should go to the fair? The suggestion was hanging there as if she’d wanted Dan to say he’d take them.
But he didn’t, and Vicki relaxed again.
“I’m not sure if I’ll be working the fair or not,” Dan said, after a bit more discussion from Lena. “The schedule is still up in the air, but since most of the deputies with kids want to take them, the rest of us will probably plug the holes.”
Which, thought Vicki, was a good explanation for not offering to show them around, even if Lena had been trying to encourage it. Astonishment filled her as she realized she felt mildly disappointed. Steady, girl. No point in bargaining for trouble. “How long does it last?”
“It’s a whole lot of setup for three days,” Lena answered. “Friday afternoon through Sunday evening. The rodeo’s on Saturday. And of course, one of those traveling carnivals always shows up.”
“Why so short?”
“Most folks around here are awfully busy on their ranches,” her aunt replied. “But summer is the time for fairs. What can I tell you? Imagine holding one when the weather turns cold.”
“It’s just a small fair,” Dan explained. “We pretty much get overshadowed by the state fair, which offers a whole lot more for people who can get the time to go. Here it’s...a community social, basically.”
“Good description,” Lena said approvingly. “Anyway, in one afternoon you can see everything you want to see, and fit in the rodeo, too. Now, I like our rodeo. It’s mostly local cowboys who compete, not pros who are on the circuit, although we occasionally get one or two.”
“That would be interesting. I’ve been to the one in Austin, but the rodeo is professional, and so is the entertainment.”
Dan laughed. “You might hear a few local country musicians here.”
“Don’t forget the old guys with their fiddles,” said Lena. “Always gets my foot tapping.” She eyed Vicki. “A good place to meet people.”
“Speaking of meeting people,” Dan said, “I presume the Peggy that Krys was telling me about was Janine Dalrymple’s little girl?”
“Yes, it was,” Vicki replied. “They both came over this afternoon, and before I could even invite them in, the two girls were running down the street toward the park. We dashed to keep up. I like Janine.”
“I thought you might,” Dan said. “Salt of the earth.”
“Did you ask her to come?” Vicki didn’t know if she liked that. She preferred to think that Janine had come because she wanted to.
“Of course not,” Dan said. “I passed her on the street and she asked about the rental truck, so I told her you were here.”
So he wasn’t trying to micromanage her life even in small ways. Vicki had been through enough of that. Something that had been coiled inside her let go, and she was able to enjoy the rest of the meal.
After they made short work of dishes, Krystal wanted to play a game. She asked Dan and he agreed. Soon they were all playing a very childish board game with Krys, whose brow knit with concentration. One of these days the girl would realize the whole game depended on luck, but right now she gave it the attention of a major tactician.
Finally, Lena claimed an aunt’s prerogative. “Let me get Krys ready for bed and read her a story.”
Krys jumped up. “Can I pick the story?”
“Of course you can.” Lena looked at Vicki. “I don’t know about you, but I could use some coffee.”
“I’ll make it.”
“And I could use a walk,” Dan said. “Been sitting too much today.” He glanced at Vicki. “I can wait until you make the coffee if you want to take a turn around the block with me.”
Summer evenings were long in Wyoming, and Vicki wondered when she had last taken a walk around a block. Part of her felt a little nervous, and part of her thought she was entirely too hypersensitive. A friend was going for a walk. It would have been rude of him not to ask her.
She wondered at herself. How had she gotten to the point of overreacting to friendly overtures? Why should she have been even a tiny bit disturbed if Dan had suggested to Janine that she bring her daughter over? It would have been a neighborly gesture.
For the first time Vicki considered the possibility that losing Hal had twisted her in some way. Suspicious of friendliness? Good heavens.
“I’d like that,” she answered, then started making the coffee. “If you don’t mind waiting.”
“What, two minutes?” His tone evinced amusement. “Oh, man, I’m just panting to walk around the block. Vicki, I can’t wait. Hurry! Hurry up!”
She had to laugh, and was still grinning when she finished preparing the coffee. “You’re learning from Krys.”
“That girl is a real experience. I never would have guessed a four-year-old could put an auctioneer to shame.”
“She can spill those words out when she’s excited.”
Out on the street, with twilight beginning to settle, he said, “Vicki?”
“Yes?”
“If I was wrong to mention the horses, tell me. I don’t suppose Krys is the type to forget.”
“No, she’s not.” Vicki wished she’d brought a sweater. She’d l
eft Austin at the height of summer, but the days were cooler here and the nights chilled fast.
“Well, I’m sorry if I caused you a headache.”
“You didn’t.” She glanced sideways at him, and decided he had a great profile. He walked easily, like a man in great shape. “I never knew a girl who didn’t want to ride a horse. If you hadn’t mentioned it, someone else would have, and I really don’t have an objection. I have to admit that I prefer the idea of a pony, though.”
“Heck, no,” he said humorously. “We’ll put her on a stallion sixteen hands tall.”
Another laugh escaped Vicki. “So your friend has ponies?”
“Yeah. Sarah Ironheart works with me. Her husband, Gideon, runs a stable, trains horses and gives trail rides. A decade or so ago he decided to get himself some American Shetlands. Kids often ride them.”
“Sounds great to me. I think she’d like a horse closer to her size, at least to begin with. Then again,” Vicki said wryly, “she might decide they terrify her. You never know with a child.”
“I suppose you don’t.” He waved and called out a greeting to an older couple who were sitting in wooden rockers on their front porch.
“It’s different here,” she remarked suddenly.
“I suppose so. In what way do you mean?”
“Well, I was just noticing, this is a front porch town. Newer construction has banished the front porch to a backyard deck or patio.”
He paused before answering. “You’re right. I never really thought about it before.”
“I never did, either. But it probably has a big impact on community dynamics. I wonder what started it.”
He shook his head. They turned a corner and strolled on slowly. “I have no idea. TV? Lena tells me that when she was little sometimes neighbors would gather to watch TV together. These days, everyone has one at home.”
“Well, I’m no social psychologist. It’s just nice to walk down a street like this and see people out on their porches.”
“The whole town isn’t like this, though. After the Second World War some subdivisions were built. No front porches.”
“Maybe it was a cost thing. I guess I should research it when I have some time.”
He seemed comfortable with silence when it fell between them, so she didn’t struggle to fill the void. She wondered if it had always been hard for her to chitchat, or if this was a recent development. Honestly, she couldn’t remember.
“Has Lena said any more about the furniture?” he asked.
“Not a peep.” Vicki sighed. “That’s my fault. I guess I need to get to it. I’m sorry.”
“No need for you to be sorry. It’s just that I need a heads-up to get some guys over to help. I may be strong, but that old furniture is heavy. Solid wood. Some of it I could trot around for her, but there are a few pieces where I’m going to be smart and say no way. They might as well be constructed of lead.”
Vicki laughed quietly. “I’ve noticed. I tried to nudge an armoire around in my bedroom. No dice.”
“I can help with it if you want. Just let me know.”
She hesitated to speak. He was Lena’s friend, after all, not yet hers. But still, she wanted to say something. “She kept telling me there was plenty of room, but I feel like we’re crowding her out. And now she’s saying she wanted to make the place over, anyway.”
“She did. She mentioned it to me a few times before there was any possibility of you moving here. I’ve found that Lena can be as blunt as she needs to. If she had a problem with any of this, she’d say so.”
Vicki looked at him, feeling an undeniable quiver of sexual attraction run through her. Was she trying to awaken as a woman again? Not good. “Thank you. So maybe I don’t need to walk on eggshells?”
“Around Lena? No way.” He flashed a smile. “She’d hate it if you did. That’s one of the things I like about her. I can always count on her to tell me if I’m being a jerk.”
A laugh bubbled out of Vicki. “You know, that’s good to hear.”
“I think she figured out a long time ago that leaving people to wonder what you were thinking created an awful lot of empty space for making trouble.”
Vicki stopped walking. He halted beside her and faced her. “What?” he asked.
“I think that’s a great observation. I’m going to keep that in mind.” She smiled as they continued their walk, her heart feeling a little lighter.
From the outset she’d worried about Lena. It was good to hear from someone else that her aunt didn’t pull her punches. Now maybe Vicki could let go of that concern and just worry about the day-to-day matters.
As they rounded the last corner and were walking back to the house, she looked at Dan. “Are you as blunt as Lena?”
“Yes, when it matters. Your husband was a cop, so you should know. We learn to have difficult conversations.”
His easy, comfortable reference to Hal reassured her in some odd way, as if setting her free to just be open about it all.
She hadn’t wanted to even mention him, because she felt as if talking about him could depress everyone around her. Some of that had come in the other direction, too, as people tried to avoid reminding her of her losses.
That left a big void in her conversation, and in her heart. Hal had been her husband, a major part of her life, and grief was part of her life now. Avoiding it didn’t change a thing.
“Thanks,” she said as they reached the porch.
“For what?”
She looked up at him. “For mentioning Hal. I feel like I can’t even talk about him. It makes people uneasy.”
“I know what you mean. After Callie died there was a burst of remembrances from our friends, and then it was as if she was erased.”
Vicki warmed to him. “Exactly. That’s it exactly. Well, you go ahead and talk about Callie anytime you want, if I can do the same about Hal.”
“Deal,” Dan said.
At the door he stopped. “I need to get home. I’ve got to be in at five in the morning. Will you thank Lena for me again? It was a great dinner.”
“I’ll tell her.”
Vicki waited, watching him cross the yard to his own front door. He was a good man, she decided. She could see why Lena liked him so much.
Inside she found her aunt curled up on her own sofa with a coffee and a book. “Nice walk?” she asked.
“Lovely. It’s gorgeous out there this evening. Dan asked me to thank you again for a wonderful dinner. Was Krys okay?”
“Krys was a doll, and fell asleep long before Bartholomew Cubbins ditched his tenth hat.”
Vicki giggled. “I wonder if she’ll ever hear the end of that story.”
“Someday she can read it to herself. I understand that children like repetition, but for those of us reading, not so much.”
Vicki sat facing her aunt. “I’ll look over the furniture tomorrow. But I want you to do it with me.”
Lena waved a hand. “I already made my decisions. The only question is whether you disagree with any of them. And you still have some unpacking to do.”
Vicki bit her lip. “Most of what’s left is mementos of Hal. I’m not sure I want to unpack them, but I’m keeping them for Krystal. Can I put them in your attic or basement?”
“Not the basement. It gets damp sometimes. Set them aside and we’ll get them into the attic.”
A short while later, Vicki headed upstairs to shower and settle in for the night. The change to Mountain time might be part of it, or it could be due to all the hard work and stress over the past month, but she was going to bed earlier.
As she soaped herself in the shower, however, she experienced a strange moment when she felt lifted out of herself. Instead of her own hands running over her, her mind turned them into Dan’s hands. Silky and smooth, gliding effortlessly over her every curve. Her breath started coming faster, and heat pooled between her thighs, a deliciously heavy and nearly forgotten sensation.
Then she snapped her eyes open. “No way,” she s
aid, her voice echoing in the shower. For the love of heaven, the man was a cop. If nothing else about him mattered, his being a police officer was a wall between them that she didn’t even want to think about climbing.
She’d had enough of that. More than enough.
Angry with herself, she turned down the temperature of the water until it felt slightly cold.
If she ever, ever again had a love relationship, it wasn’t going to be with a man who, every time he walked out the door, left her wondering if he’d come back alive. It had been hard enough when part of her believed that couldn’t happen to Hal.
But then it had. And it hadn’t even happened when he was on duty. No, he’d made a simple run to the convenience store because they were out of milk. A robbery. A man with a gun, and valiant Hal stepping into it like the cop he was. The robber was in jail, but Hal was in the ground.
No, she wasn’t ever going to risk that again. And she wasn’t going to risk putting her daughter through it. No way.
Stepping out of the shower, Vicki scrubbed her body with a towel until it felt as if she’d removed an entire layer of skin. She glanced in the mirror and saw a woman filled with furious determination.
Her hair, as it began to dry, started to curl wildly. Ruthlessly, she brushed it straight and caught it in a ponytail. Hal had liked those curls. She had no desire to flaunt them ever again.
Chapter Four
A week later, on Saturday, Dan showed up with four other guys to help move the furniture Lena had decided to get rid of. Vicki and Krys were banished to the park, while Lena remained to supervise.
Krys wanted to know why Aunt Lena was moving out.
“She’s not moving out, sweetie. She’s making room.”
“For us? She’s nice.”
“I like her. I guess you do, too?”
“Yeah.” Krystal grinned up at Vicki. “I like it here.”
“Really?” Her heart skipped a few beats as an extraordinary sense of relief flooded her. She’d feared her decision to move primarily because of Krystal, but apparently everything was going to be all right.