Shamefully, wanting just about anything else, I do as I’m told. “I wasn’t supposed to be born. My parents didn’t plan for me and I’m the result of that.” My brother has punished me for these reasons my whole life so I know what he wants me to say. “I’ve always had a problem keeping up with schoolwork and other activities.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see my educator nod in agreement. I attempt to defend myself. “It isn’t that I’m unable to comprehend the material or finish assignments, it’s just that sometimes it can take me a little longer than others.”
Educator Haven opens his mouth like he wants to respond to my claim. Before he can speak, Dominic relentlessly continues. “Do you feel like you are at a disadvantage because you are Unplanned?”
I know better than to lie in front of Dominic. It’s better just to give him what he wants. “I do.”
This is one of my nightmares. All the attention is on me while my brother ruthlessly points out my flaws and misgivings.
“Do you wish you were Planned like everyone else in this room?” he asks.
“Of course,” I say. I’ve wanted to fit in my entire life.
“Genetic planning has allowed me to excel. Even in a society filled with other Planned, I finished school at the top of my class, was placed into the top career-training program, and am expected to lead that division one day. I am not trying to brag, but those are the facts. My brother’s future on the other hand…” He pauses dramatically and motions at me again. “Let’s just say it is not nearly as promising.” Dominic chuckles good-naturedly. Most of the class joins in.
I stare down at my feet.
“Any questions?” My educator addresses the entire room. “This is a great opportunity to gain insight into the life of a person who’s leading your generation. He’s a phenomenal role model.”
One of the students in the back raises his hand. Dominic nods at him in acknowledgment. “Why didn’t your parents terminate the pregnancy? They clearly believed in genetic planning with you. Why the change?”
“That is a great question and actually something I have wondered for a long time. For my creation, my parents deliberated for months with their genetic engineer. The end result was a success: me.”
Dominic shrugs, a motion I know is for him to appear to be modest. My brother is perfect at a lot of things, but humility isn’t one of them.
“I believe my parents thought that since they were both Planned, their Unplanned child would theoretically have a higher chance to receive desirable genes and be able to function as a valuable member of society.”
“So they meant to have an Unplanned?” another student asks.
Dominic scoffs at the question. “Of course not. Elliot was a mistake.”
I shift my feet. I don’t like the turn this conversation has taken.
“Then why didn’t they abort him?” the original student presses.
“I can only speak for my mother as my father died many years ago.” Dominic tells everyone the same lie he’s been saying for years. “Rather than looking at the facts, I believe my mother fell prey to a terrible weakness: hope. Hope can make someone disregard reality for how they want things to be. It is my understanding that they wished for the best but in the end, all of their hopes and dreams could not stand up to the variability of nature.” He stares meaningfully at me to let the message sink in.
Silence spreads across the room like a fog rolling in before a rain. I look up from my feet to assess the class’s reaction to his words. My classmates shift their gaze from me to my brother and back to me, clearly comparing the two of us.
I miserably make eye contact with Ian again. The same anger from earlier seeps through his entire being. I wish I could find that same fire in myself. Unable to maintain the eye contact, I blink away.
“Any other questions for Mr. Greer?” Our educator prompts once the quiet has gone on long enough.
“Yes, I have one,” Ian calls out from the back, regaining my attention. His eyes are drowning in grief. “I want to talk about the recent children deaths. What do you have to say to the people who feel the genetic engineers are to blame? How many young people like my sister need to die before you do something?”
“Ian, that’s inappropriate,” the educator says. He casts a horrified glance at Dominic.
Melanie’s alarmingly short slideshow flashes through my mind. How advanced can our technology actually be when people are dying so young?
“No, it is a good question, Educator Haven, and something I really would like to clarify for everyone here.” Dominic’s stern voice is much less carefree. My palms sweat in reaction to his tone. “We are in the business of preventing sickness and disease from ever occurring. The doctors are responsible for healing the people who have contracted illness. In fact, if you look at the numbers, compared to twenty years ago, there are thirty percent fewer doctors on staff than there used to be. That is because we can prevent sickness from transpiring in the first place. Quite simply, you are upset with the wrong department.”
“So you’re saying that there is nothing the genetic engineers can do to prevent these children’s deaths?” Ian’s voice rises in disbelief. A fire of anger overtakes some of the pain in his eyes.
Dominic squares his shoulders and I’m thankful his anger is directed toward someone else, even if it’s on my only ally in the room. “We are working closely with the doctors to better understand what is going on. Once we are able to determine the cause, assuming there is a new genetic predisposition, we will be able to ensure this never happens again.”
“Why is it taking so long?” Ian continues his questioning. I admire his bravery, but I don’t envy him right now. My brother isn’t someone to cross.
When Dominic responds, his voice is icy. Chills run down my spine. “Because examining miles of genetic code for a mutation that may or may not exist can take time, if it is even successful. It requires patience. Is the importance of taking your time not clear by looking at my brother and me? My brother took less effort to create than I did. But look at the difference.”
Dominic stares down Ian. “Hard work and determination do, in fact, pay off. It is clear you would never have the ability to be a good genetic engineer. You share this trait with my far less achieving brother.”
Ian’s mouth is wide open in shock. His ears are bright red. He sounds embarrassed when he says, “I’m just worried, that’s all. Melanie was my younger sister.”
“It is understandable that you want answers. We all do,” Dominic says. His tone is softer, but I can almost feel the tension radiating from his body. His anger bubbles just under the surface. “Assigning the blame for your sister’s death is not going to benefit anyone. You must learn to control your emotions and approach situations by considering the facts. That is my advice to you.”
The grief has retaken home in Ian and he drops his head in pain. Dominic offers one last look at Ian and then dismisses him to reopen the conversation to the class. “Are there any other questions for me while I am here?”
One of the prettier, snobby girls from the front raises her hand. Dominic slyly smiles at her. “Do you think Unplanned should be allowed to procreate with Planned?”
“I do not think there is ever an excuse for the birth of an Unplanned. Our society is worse when irresponsible individuals further detract from the gene pool by creating even more Unplanned. If this continues, our society will be back where it was before: less intelligent and much weaker. Does that make sense?” Dominic regains his composure and finishes full of charisma once again.
“Oh, yes. But I do have one more question,” she says as she blushes.
“Feel free to ask me any question you have.” He responds in a way that could be interpreted as flirting or just being friendly.
“Have you determined the individual that you will genetically plan your children with?”
Dominic smiles at her and noticeably checks her out.
Our educator jumps in to control the sit
uation. “Ava, that’s an unsuitable question. I’ll speak with you after class to determine your punishment.”
Her face falls in horror.
“No need, Educator Haven. It was a simple question. However, I do need to get back to my job training. It has been difficult to be away for this long. I thank you all for your time and I hope to see some of you outside of here.” He pauses and makes eye contact with Ava. “Best of luck to all of you in your last two years leading up to the job selection.”
The class claps in appreciation for his discussion. Dominic leans in closer to me so only I can hear. “You most of all, Joe. You are going to need it.”
He maintains eye contact with me long enough for me to break it in submission. Dominic waves good-bye to the class and Educator Haven. Once again, he claps me with too much force on my back. He smirks knowingly and exits the room, full of smug satisfaction.
“To your seat, Elliot,” my educator says.
I quickly walk back to my desk and stumble into my seat. The class laughs openly. Educator Haven watches on with a look of disapproval.
“Now that Elliot is ready for us to continue”—he gives me yet another severe look—“I hope you all learned a significant amount from listening to Dominic. Did you all find it beneficial?”
The girl right next to me says, “Yes, Educator Haven. I need to ensure the proper genes are passed down. I need to make sure my children are Planned. I don’t want to end up with…” She tapers off as the entire class follows her direction of thought and focuses on me. “I’m just saying it isn’t fair to anyone if an Unplanned is born into our society. I don’t want that for any child of mine.” Everyone nods in agreement, even the educator.
In this moment, I feel sorry for myself. This is how my entire life has been. I’ve always known I was second-class, but somehow Dominic manages to make it even worse. By driving such a sharp wedge between the two of us, he couldn’t have made it more clear who I am. I’m undesirable and worth nothing. I shouldn’t even exist.
Chapter Four
I pull the handle to our front door. It’s locked. I frown and place my finger on the pad. It hums in recognition of my fingerprint and unlocks. I retry the door and this time it allows me admission into our apartment.
“Mother?” I announce my entrance to the empty house. My mother normally gets home before I do, so I expect to hear her answer. Instead, the only sounds are my footsteps bouncing off the walls as I set my backpack down in the front entry.
My movement triggers the lights to turn on. A light flashing in the corner grabs my attention and I walk over to it. I motion across the sensor and a hologram of my mother fills the space.
“We’re swamped here at work,” my mother’s image informs me. There’s still light pouring through the windows. She must have sent it earlier in the afternoon. Her hand runs through her hair. “I’ll be home as soon as I can. I’ll see the two of you when I get back.”
Another message plays immediately after and this time, it’s my brother’s image. “I will be back later. I am busy. Do not expect me for dinner.” A girl’s laugh echoes through the speaker.
With that, I’m once again alone. After the day I’ve had, the idea of having some time to myself is very appealing. At this moment, all I want to do is forget about everything. Every time I close my eyes, the images of my classmates looking at me with complete revulsion fill my head.
I breathe out in frustration. I want to be somewhere where I fit in. I want to escape my body, but I can’t. I’m stuck. This is who I am.
I slump into the bathroom and undress. My grey outfit falls to the floor and I wonder how many days left I have before I have to switch to the brown color of the janitorial career. How am I going to tell my mother about today’s news?
The water heats up and I step into the shower. The feeling of warm water touching my skin soothes me. If I only focus on the sensation of the heat against my body, my life seems almost bearable.
I decompress and soon slip into a daydream. In my fantasy, I’m Planned. Dominic is graduating at the top of his class. His speech includes a touching memory of the two of us from our childhood. On one side of me is my girlfriend and on the other is my father, with my mother on the opposite side of him. His arm is around her. He glances at me and smiles proudly. We’re a family.
The speaker in the bathroom beeps to let me know someone has entered the apartment, interrupting my thoughts of a life that was never meant to be. The messages are replayed and then footsteps get louder as they approach the bathroom. I hold my breath, hoping it’s not Dominic. The footsteps stop and a light knocking follows. I exhale in relief.
“Elliot, is that you? I just saw Dominic’s message.” My mother’s voice reaches through the door.
“Yes, I’ll be out soon.”
I take one more deep breath to enjoy the shower before I turn off the water. I cover myself with a towel and snatch my outfit off the floor. In my room, I dig through my dresser for fresh clothes. After I get dressed in the white, casual outfit, I make my way to my mother in the living room.
We sit in companionable silence. My mother’s automatic acceptance of who I am is refreshing after today’s lesson. I take one more deep breath and examine her. She’s still in the green food distribution outfit and clearly distracted with her own thoughts.
“What’s going on at work?” I ask.
I’d honestly rather not talk about it, Elliot.” She smiles at me tenderly and her eyes sweep my face. Her eyebrows furrow. “You’ve had a bad day.”
I nod in agreement. She patiently waits for me to elaborate and when I’m ready, I oblige.
“Why did you choose not to abort me when you found out you were pregnant?”
“Why is this coming up again?” Her eyes race across my face as she tries to pick up on any hints as to why I’m asking this. I keep my expression unguarded.
“Please, I need to know.”
“That was simply never an option. You’re my son. I’ve loved you from the moment I knew you existed.” She takes a deep breath. “Tell me why you’re asking.”
“Dominic came and spoke to the class about a career as a genetic engineer. He and the entire class made it perfectly clear that I shouldn’t exist,” I say.
“Elliot…” My mother begins but I cut her off and keep talking.
“They’re right. Why waste space and resources on me? I can’t contribute like the rest of society. I’m not good enough. I’m never going…” I fumble through my words while I try to think of a way to tell her I won’t live up to her expectations of me finishing my schooling.
This time, it’s my mother who cuts me off. “Stop. I never want to hear those words come out of your mouth ever again. You’re so much more than you see yourself. When are you going to realize that?” She takes a deep breath. “Just because your father and I didn’t specifically pick every single one of your attributes does not make you any less than Dominic or anyone else. I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”
My voice breaks as I say, “But I care.”
My mother grasps both of my hands and holds them tightly. “Why?”
I don’t have a good answer for her, so I respond with, “So you’re saying every single one of my classmates is wrong?”
“Yes,” she says. “They are.”
In spite of everything, I chuckle at her determined answer. “Are you just saying this because you’re my mother?”
“I’m positive. It’s the truth.” She studies me and then proclaims, “Now stop feeling sorry for yourself and cheer up.”
I take a deep breath and allow her words to resonate. I consider sharing the news that I’m being released from my education, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I want to have at least a little more time with her believing in me.
“Have you had dinner yet, Mother?” She shakes her head. “I’ll get our food packets ready. Do you think Dominic will be home anytime soon?”
“I doubt it,” she says. “He’s all over th
e place lately. I need to speak with him about it.” She frowns and follows me into the kitchen. “Let’s go visit your grandparents at the lake this weekend.”
“Can we?” I ask. The idea of getting away from Potentia and all of the judgment that comes along with it is tempting.
“It’ll be good to get out of the territory for a little bit. I haven’t seen my parents in four months.” She looks out the window. “You’ll be able to see Chris and Andrew,” she adds as an afterthought.
I stop rummaging through the pantry and hug my mother. “Thank you. I love you.” I want to add more, but I don’t need to. She knows me too well.
“I love you too, son. You just need to work on your confidence.” She smiles and lightly pats my cheek. “I’ll put in the request for the vehicle. It shouldn’t take more than a couple of days to get the approval.”
The government controls the amount of traveling we can do via vehicles to reduce our dependency. Requests to visit close relatives are fairly easy to get approved. Plus, we haven’t been out to visit them in so long, due to the loss of productivity from adding the five-hour drive.
In the past, every person in a family would have their own vehicle until the nonrenewable resources ran out. Our society pushed the boundaries to research new areas of energy and from this, expanded the collective knowledge base that led to genetic planning. A big segment of the population, now those out in Acroisia, didn’t agree with this and about a hundred years ago, the Civil War started and split the nation
“Can I call them and let them know we’re coming?”
“Of course,” she says. “I’m going to change out of my work clothes.”
I walk to the phone to dial my grandparents’ number. It rings for a while and goes to the message machine. They don’t have video capabilities with their phone, so I leave a quick message letting them know that we’re coming this weekend.
The moment I hang up, I dial Chris and Andrew’s number. On the second ring, their younger sister’s voice answers. “Hello?”
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