I know Matt doesn’t want Jess and me to leave him alone, but I don’t feel comfortable waiting much longer to get supplies for Allison. Honestly, it’s something we should have done earlier. We just always thought we would have more time.
He hasn’t been bitten, so I’ll talk to Jess once she’s calmed down to see what she thinks. I figure our best bet will be to go while Matt is sleeping. Hopefully, we’ll be able to find some medicine for him.
A smell assaults me. There must be some of the Letum around. I frown. This is the second group today. With every step, the smell gets stronger. I sigh and finally turn on my flashlight.
Trying to get past our barrier is five of the Letum. Three of them are walking mindlessly into the fence while the other two stumble into their dead companions. They react to the light with a horrible chorus of moaning and gurgling. They all clamp their broken teeth down, snapping. Dried blood covers their chins. One of them has a knife stuck through its cheek. Someone missed.
Ensuring I don’t repeat the same mistake, I grip my weapon harder and climb over the fence. I hit the ground and swing at the one with a knife in its cheek, finishing the job the last person couldn’t. Either I’m getting better at destroying them, they’re getting weaker, or some combination of the two because it’s an easy job. The remaining four come slowly toward me and I take them out, one by one.
I scan the area with my flashlight and once I’m certain I’m alone, I grab the arm of one of them to drag it farther away from the fence. My grip rips the skin off of its arm and I exhale in disgust. I try again, this time hoisting it by its shoulders, and have more success. I automatically turn my head away in an attempt to avoid the smell of their decomposing bodies. I make quick work of moving the other four. They still need to be burned, but my lack of sleep catches up with me once the adrenaline leaves my body.
I hop back over the fence with my new knife and continue to walk the line. To pass the time, I hum a tune Jess taught me. I instinctively reach for the photograph of my mother and am disappointed when I remember it was left at Andrew and Chris’s house. I haven’t thought of my mother in a while, but truth be told, I have been so engulfed in the happiness that I’ve found with Matt, Allison, and most importantly, Jess.
There’s a hitch in my step at the realization I have accepted all of the recent deaths. I no longer struggle in a sea of grief at the thought of their names.
As I think more about it, though, my mother would’ve been happy for me. How proud she would be of who I have become. She always told me I was more and I finally understand that.
I reach my starting point and walk toward the house. I take my shoes off in the patio so I don’t track anything in.
Just as the air smelled a lot fresher once I left the house, I cringe when I walk in and smell the recent vomit. I head to the kitchen to wash my hands and pour myself a cup of water. I drink it quickly and set it back down on the counter.
I turn around and curse when I see a figure standing in the doorway. It takes a step closer into the light and Jess stares back at me.
“You’re funny when startled,” she says.
“I do it on purpose. I just want to amuse you,” I say in a half-hearted attempt to make a joke.
“Ha, ha.”
She gives me a light smile that doesn’t quite conceal the tension in her eyes.
“I snuck out of the room once she fell asleep and checked on Matt.” Her gaze examines mine. “He’s tied up.”
“I didn’t even have to bring it up. It was his idea. He’s worried and doesn’t want to hurt anyone.”
“That’s good.”
I frown. “Jess, he wasn’t bitten.”
Jess doesn’t respond.
“Do you want any water?”
She shakes her head. “I want you to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay.”
I walk to her and take her in my arms. “Everything is going to be okay.”
I pull back so I can look her in the eyes.
“I know you’re worried and I understand, with everything that has happened with your family. This isn’t that situation. Matt is just sick.”
I kiss her forehead.
“Come on, let’s sleep out on the patio tonight. It’s a pleasant night and honestly, it smells nicer out there. I just did a sweep and the fence is clear of the Letum.”
I kiss her again gently and the two of us separate. I grab some extra blankets out of the closet and meet her on the patio. She holds pillows for us. We spread one of the blankets on the ground and place the other on top. Jess plops the pillows down and we climb in.
Jess says, “This is going to be good for my back.”
I chuckle and she joins in. The tension from the night leaves us. Even though we’re lying on the floor, we’re together.
“Come here,” I say.
There are times for comforting words and at other moments, physical closeness can speak more meaningfully.
------
My first thought when I hear the screaming is that I’m still in a dream. As the desperate wailing continues, I fumble my way back to consciousness.
“Wake up, Elliot. Something’s wrong.”
Jess’s words bring me back to reality and I open my eyes in time to see her rush inside. I run toward the source of the screaming, the scent of sickness assaulting my senses.
Jess is ahead of me and gets to Matt and Allison’s doorway first. Her guard shoots up immediately. Wanting to do anything else, I look into the room.
Allison is in the corner screaming, tears streaming down her face. Matt, with one hand still tied to the bed, is lunging for her, blood flowing down his chin.
Allison echoes my thoughts. “He wasn’t bitten.”
I immediately scan her body, but it doesn’t look like the blood is coming from her.
“He wasn’t bitten. He wasn’t bitten. He wasn’t bitten,” she cries in an endless loop.
Although I see what’s happening, I can’t grasp it. How is it possible?
Matt, the guy who could always make us laugh, is gone and replaced by a mindless monster that wants to hurt everything Matt cared about, starting with his love and unborn child.
Careful to avoid him, I hold Allison as she collapses into my body. I maneuver her so she can’t see Matt and I can still keep my eye on him. His glazed, yellowing eyes follow the motion of our movements without recognition.
“He wasn’t bitten. He wasn’t bitten,” she continues her infinite chant.
She’s right, he wasn’t bitten. He wasn’t exposed in any way that the three of us weren’t. All of his and Jess’s worrying I just dismissed because it wasn’t logical. If we can turn at any time, what does that mean for us?
“I know he wasn’t bitten, Allison. I know he wasn’t,” I say to her.
Her chanting stops, but she continues to shake with sobs.
I look up in desperation at Jess. Her mask is back in place. She stares at Matt with no feeling. I swallow my frustration at her seemingly emotionally checking out of the situation. She shouldn’t leave me alone right now. I thought we were past this.
“Jess.” I say her name to get her attention. She glances my way and focuses on Allison. She walks out of the room.
Wondering where she went, I automatically pat Allison’s back and watch Matt’s awkward movements.
Back in school, they used to show us videos of the past to demonstrate how lucky we were to be where we are today. Like the majority of the clips, one focused around the importance of genetic engineering. It showed footage of people suffering from a neurodegenerative disease. I can’t remember what it was called. Though with genetic engineering, it’s now irrelevant.
There was a woman who it centered around. She had been suffering from the disease for a little over a year. Every movement was a struggle to get her muscles and body to listen to her mind. It was so impactful then because the woman was still so young, even though she looked around the same age as my mother. She had lost control. Now, lo
oking at Matt and the similar motions, it’s even more devastating.
Jess comes back through the doorway with a long knife in her right hand. I tense up at her intention.
Moments ago, I was sleeping peacefully and now the world has broken again. Allison senses the change in my body language and wheels around.
Before I can stop her, she lunges at Jess and screams, “HE WASN’T BITTEN!”
Matt, attracted to the noise and movement, reaches toward Allison with renewed interest. Its moans reveal a thick tongue, heavily flopping past its broken bottom lip to push more blood down its chin. Watching the red spread down its shirt, as it agonizingly bites its own flesh in a desperate attempt to hurt Allison, I’m painfully aware that Matt is gone.
Jess drops her weapon so she can hold Allison to steady her. “I know he wasn’t bitten. That doesn’t matter right now. Matt is gone and the thing that took over his body wants to kill you and your baby. Think rationally.”
This seems to break her haze and she says, “Think rationally? Rationally, I don’t see a reality where Matt doesn’t exist. Rationally, he wasn’t bitten so he shouldn’t have turned. Nothing about this is rational. Don’t you dare touch him.”
Throughout this whole exchange, sounds of teeth gnashing and moaning spread through the room. My focus shifts to the Letum. Its movement is awkward and jerky, yet full of determination. It’s sickening how quickly this happened. Matt was joking around with me hours before.
“That isn’t Matt anymore, Allison,” Jess whispers patiently and calmly. “I know it’s horrible, but Matt is dead and you have to worry about keeping you and your baby safe. What would Matt want right now?”
She looks bitterly at Jess. “Matt would want to be healthy right now. Matt wouldn’t want us to give up on him,” she says.
“It isn’t a matter of giving up on him. There’s nothing we can do,” Jess says. “Matt not being here is unthinkable and unimaginable. The world went to shit and fell apart and now you’re going to have to be stronger than ever.”
“Don’t touch him,” she repeats.
This time, it’s Jess who looks to me at a loss for words. Jess is right, not having Matt is inconceivable and we need to take care of him. But she’s also wrong. There is something we can do for him, something almost as unimaginable as not having Matt anymore. He may be gone right now, but what if we can get him back?
I shock even myself as I utter the words I never thought I would say again. “I need to find Dominic.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
With the exception of the Letum gurgling in the background, silence covers the room. Jess stares at me in disbelief. Allison’s battle stance relaxes and she turns to me, face full of questions.
It seems like my voice is coming from another body when I elaborate. “The last we heard, he was working on finding a cure for the Letum. Say what you want about my brother, but he’s determined and brilliant. If there’s a way to recover, Dominic will know.”
Allison’s eyes narrow in skepticism. “I thought your brother was dead,” she says.
“I never said he was dead. I just said he wasn’t with us anymore,” I say.
“Then why did you let me think he was dead?” Allison looks angry at this small deception. One look toward Matt, however, and she drops it.
“Because he’s a dangerous person and can’t be trusted,” Jess says for me. Her jaw is clenched.
Allison doesn’t care anymore that my brother is now suddenly alive again. All that concerns her is Matt. “You really think he knows a way to turn Matt back?” Allison asks desperately, full of hope.
I choose my words carefully. “If there is a way, Dominic could possibly find it.”
“No,” Jess says and shakes her head passionately. “We’re not going to Dominic. Not if he ‘could possibly’ help. He’s dangerous.”
“Jess…” Allison says.
It makes a renewed attempt to hurt Allison and she jumps automatically. Her eyes well up and she wordlessly pleads for Jess to reconsider.
Jess takes a deep breath and gently takes Allison’s hands in her own. “I’m sorry, but we’re not doing it.”
Allison jerks her hands away and looks imploringly at me.
A bigger part of me than I’d admit is relieved to hear Jess make such a statement. The idea of voluntarily going back to Dominic is absolutely terrifying. The sound of teeth clamping brings me back to desperation.
I turn and look at what used to be Matt. His eyes were always full of light and humor. Now, a blank stare returns my gaze. What if there is a way to turn him back?
I swallow hard and gain my courage. “You don’t have to. I do. It’s our only option. Dominic is staying at the genetic testing site in Potentia. I know how to get there.” I’m afraid I sound harsh, but I need my point to come across. “Matt would do it for us.”
Sensing this is an argument between Jess and me, Allison simply nods, tears running down her face, and watches the situation unfold.
“He tried to capture us last time he saw us. He wanted to run experiments on you. Have you forgotten about Andrew and Chris?” Jess squares her shoulders and raises her voice.
Her last question stings. “No, I haven’t forgotten about them. Losing them was something I don’t want to have to go through again. I should have fought harder for them.” I take a deep breath and lower my voice. “And Jess, what if Andrew is still alive after all this time, waiting for us to come rescue him?”
Jess’s shoulders slack and her voice lowers with it. “He’s too dangerous. It isn’t worth the risk.”
Allison joins in the conversation. “Matt ‘isn’t worth the risk’?” She sounds absolutely disgusted. “After everything Matt did for you? After he saved your life—remember that? He isn’t worth asking someone for help?”
Rather than defend herself, Jess asks, “Would Matt want you to risk your life and the life of your child on a harebrained scheme to maybe bring him back?”
“I’m not asking her to put her life in danger. I’m going to do this by myself,” I say. Dominic is capable of horrible things that I can’t expose Jess or Allison to.
It makes another renewed lunge at Allison and she can’t help but scream. She collapses on the ground and cries at a faster rate, taking shallow breaths in quick succession.
“You need to calm down, Allison,” Jess says as she sits on the floor with her. “You’re going to hurt the baby. Let’s leave the room and take a break.”
“You…just…want….me…to…leave…” Allison says between each breath, “so…you…can…kill…Matt…”
She stares accusingly at Jess.
“No, we’ll all leave the room together. We don’t need to make this decision now. We’ll close the door and leave…Matt…alone.” She stumbles on saying his name.
It’s clear, for me at least, that she’s accepted Matt as gone.
“Promise?” Allison hiccups through her emotion.
Both Jess and I nod and Allison accepts our assurance. I help Jess up and the two of us steady Allison on her feet. She takes a couple of steps closer to the Letum. Jess’s mouth opens in objection. Before she says anything, Allison stops just out of his reach. She holds her hand out and it reaches out to her.
Allison’s expression is full of love and longing whereas the Letum’s is one of hunger and madness.
Allison says, “I love you. I’m going to get you back.”
Fresh tears spill down her face.
I look at Jess, pleading wordlessly for her to reconsider, but she shakes her head and grabs Allison’s other hand to guide her out of the room. I follow them out and take one look back.
This can’t be the end for Matt. He did everything right and still got infected. I don’t accept what happened. I close the door, determined to get him back.
His disgusting noises are still coming from the room, so I go to the closet and grab extra sheets to stuff under the door. Satisfied that I can no longer hear him, I walk into the living room.
Jess has her arm around Allison. Both of them sit on the couch. I take a seat across from them.
It’s ridiculous how much has changed in such a short time. Less than twelve hours ago, everything was fine. We were all laughing on the patio. Everyone was happy. How can we recover? How can Allison get through this?
When I made my promise to Matt last night, I didn’t think I would have to follow through with it so soon. It seemed like such an abstract idea. How could someone turn without being bitten? Regardless of whether I understand it or not, it still happened. Ignorance doesn’t prevent misfortune. It just slows down your reaction.
Over time, Allison’s breathing slows down into a temporary respite of sleep. I expect Jess to leave but instead, she lets Allison sleep on her and looks up at me.
“We need to take care of Matt. He can’t stay like this. You saw Allison. She doesn’t understand he’s gone. What happens when she goes to visit him without either of us and gets herself killed? He’s a liability and we need to protect her.”
“What if he isn’t gone? What if we can bring him back?” I throw back at her.
“We don’t have the luxury of living in the land of ‘what-ifs.’ If we don’t focus on reality and what’s in front of us, we’re never going to make it,” Jess says.
“Allison needs him.”
“No. She thinks she does. We can protect her and the baby. She will survive. We all will.” Her response is cold.
I furrow my eyebrows while I take in her last statement. The comment seems heartless. The fact that she comforts Allison proves how much she cares.
“Allison will never forgive us if we don’t try and seek answers. I owe it to Matt to at least try,” I say.
“I don’t understand how you seem to be placing a blind eye to all of the horrible, terrible things your brother has done. He abused you, both mentally and physically, your entire life. He’s never proven trustworthy. Why are you so willing to risk all of our lives?”
“Because I refuse to accept this is what the world has become. My brother still has the potential to do great things and maybe this is his redemption. He has the opportunity to fix everything. And no matter what you think, he did let me go at the lake. He hesitated.”
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