“It will take about thirty seconds for it to hit its full effect,” my brother states.
First, the weight lifts off my fingers and toes. I tell my finger to move and it obeys. This continues throughout my body. The process of the medicine working is very short, as promised, and when the thirty seconds is up, I’m much more in control. However, the motion of sitting up is still tiresome. While I’m able to move everything, it still feels a little heavy. It’s as if I’m swimming in my winter clothes.
“You bastard,” I say to Dominic. My voice cracks and sounds much weaker than I would like. I cough. “I came to you for help. I gave you a chance for redemption.”
Dominic laughs. “First of all, you are much closer to a bastard than I am. I was genetically engineered. Mother and Father actually wanted to have me.”
Despite all that has happened, his comment still bothers me.
“Secondly,” he says, “I do not need redemption. That implies I have done something wrong and I have not. Everything I have done has been to help society and bring balance back to the world. In addition, I saved your life when I got you out of the territory so you owed it to me anyway.”
“You killed Chris and Andrew,” I say. I don’t see how he can rationalize this.
“In the grand scheme of things, their lives are meaningless. In fact, we were able to get some good information from Chris’s biopsy that helped with our testing on Andrew,” Dominic says.
I look at him in revulsion.
“You have no remorse for what you did to them? No remorse for what you’re going to do to the three of us?”
Dominic shakes his head. “Of course not. The work I am doing here is going to save everybody. You should feel thankful you are finally able to contribute to society.”
In my mind, I lunge out at Dominic and hit him square in the jaw and knock him backward. What actually happens is completely different. My movement is very slow and Dominic knocks it away easily. He pushes me back harshly and my head knocks against the stone wall. The result is pain, dizziness, and confusion.
“I suspected you would attempt to do something like this,” Dominic says. I hear him rummage in his pocket. Another prick hits my neck. Instead of the feeling of weightlessness the previous drugs brought me, this one brings me down and my chest feels heavy again as it spreads throughout my body.
“Just know that every time I have to put this medicine in you, you are losing what little time you have left,” he whispers in my ear.
Even if I had words, I’m not sure I could say them in an intimidating manner. The heaviness overtakes my entire body. I fight it and struggle to stay awake. Dominic’s arrogant face zooms in and out of my vision while I attempt to remain conscious.
“There is no point in struggling, Joe,” Dominic says. His voice sounds like it’s coming from rooms away as opposed to right in front of me. “It will not change anything.”
I fall back into nothingness.
------
The first thing I become aware of as the drug wears off is pain in my neck. My head is at an awkward angle. Someone moved me to my stomach with no regard for the position I ended up in. From far away, the door opens and someone approaches. A familiar prick in my neck and I wait for my mind and body to clear.
Once I’m able, I roll over. My lower back aches. I reach back and touch a bandage. I sit up fully in alarm. Jocelyn stares back at me.
“What happened to my back?”
“Don’t talk to me.” She thrusts a plate of food at me along with a cup. She motions for me to eat.
I hesitate as they might have drugged the food or water, but if they wanted to, they could easily do it at any time.
I take a bite and follow it with a sip of water.
“I’m not going to waste my time watching you eat and drink your water. I’m leaving in one minute and whatever is left is coming with me,” she says.
I eat the food as quickly as I’m able and swallow all of the water. She seems satisfied and takes the plate and cup away from me the moment I’m done.
“What happened to Jess and Allison? The people who came in with me?” I ask even though I don’t expect her to respond.
She pauses slightly in her exit and makes no other indication that she heard what I said. Without a glance back, she exits the room. The beep, followed by the clamping of metal, signals that the locks are enacted.
Even though I just ate, I’m still hungry. I’ve completely lost track of time. There are no windows in my cell. I have no way of determining even the time of day or passage of time. I frown.
This is the end for Matt. Without us to bring back some miracle cure, he’s going to remain tied to the bed until someone unknowingly finds him or he decomposes into nothingness. He doesn’t deserve to go out like that. Matt was a genuinely good person.
I force myself to stand up and examine the room. The dull ache in my lower back remains constant, but it isn’t crippling. I pace the area. My cot is against one wall with a flimsy blanket on top of it. Right next to my pathetic sleeping arrangement is a toilet and sink. I try the handle on the sink and am pleasantly surprised when some water comes through. I cup my hands to transfer some water from the sink to my mouth. I take another handful to rinse off my face.
The cold water takes me back in time to my mother cleaning off my face when I was young after Dominic pushed me in the mud. I don’t remember what she said to me, but I recall the overall soothing effect they had. My mother was always encouraging me to choose my own destiny. And I can. I just have to get out of this damn room.
My self-pity is replaced by fresh determination to escape and get Jess and Allison to safety. I utilize some of my newfound energy by walking in circles around my room. I can’t shake the nasty feeling of anxiety about their fate. I need to get answers about what’s going on. I have to figure out a way to get us out of here.
The sound of a dead bolt moving interrupts my thoughts. Dominic enters. He looks tired. It must be late.
“You are nice and lively today, Joe,” he says. “Unfortunately, I cannot say the same about your two companions.”
“What did you do to them?” I say in an attempt to demand an answer.
“Nothing either of them did not deserve,” he replies.
“They don’t deserve to be in here. Jess has done absolutely nothing and Allison is pregnant. How can you be so heartless?”
“I am not being heartless, just rational,” Dominic says. “All of you have your uses to me and as soon as you are worth more to me dead, you will be.”
“And when will that be?”
“Soon,” he says.
I let out a deep breath in annoyance. “Will you at least tell me why my back hurts?”
“It hurts because I took some cerebral fluid from your spine. I wanted to run some tests on it.” Dominic shrugs as if it’s no big deal.
“Find anything interesting?”
“I did. To be honest, though, I want to rerun the test. That is why I came back. I need more of the fluid.” He raises his hand and shows a needle. It’s much bigger than the ones he’s been using previously. This one is enormous.
“You didn’t get enough the first time?” I ask, backing up automatically.
“I do not have to explain myself to you. I brought more of the medicine to sedate you,” Dominic says.
There are battles that are worth fighting and some that aren’t. Even if I struggle, he will get his way. It’s better if he thinks I have given up.
I make myself act like the submissive younger brother from our childhood and walk toward Dominic. I let him puncture my neck with the smaller needle to reintroduce the drugs to my system. As soon as he removes the needle, I make my way back to my cot while the weight fills my body. I collapse into the table and, for the first time, don’t fight the medicine’s effects.
Just before the drug completely takes ahold of my body, Dominic says, “I am glad you have finally relearned your place.”
------
&nb
sp; The next time I become aware of anything again, it’s at a much quicker pace. One moment, there’s nothing and the next, weight leaves my body. I open my eyes to see Jocelyn staring at me in disdain. I find my strength to sit up on my cot.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
Instead of replying verbally, she shakes her head and thrusts food in front of me. I take it and study her. She looks as if she would rather be anywhere else than in here with me.
“Eat,” she repeats.
I follow her order. It looks like less food than last time. Knowing she will leave once I’m done, I stop with a couple of bites left.
“What’s going on with the two women who came here with me?”
She shoots me an annoyed glance.
“Please, just tell me if they’re alive.”
She looks significantly at the food.
“The thought of either of them being gone from our world is absolutely terrifying, especially since it’s all my fault they got into this situation. I brought us here hoping we could bring back our friend who turned into one of the Letum. I know what type of person my brother is and what he’s capable of, but I still led them here.” My voice breaks in emotion at the end of my plea.
“They’re alive.” Her response is no more than a whisper. “Now eat the rest of your food so I can leave.”
“Thank you,” I say. I finish the last of my meal in appreciation of her answer.
She grabs my plate and cup. Right before she leaves the room, she looks back. Her expression is full of pity. Without a word, she exits the room and engages the lock.
I sigh and alternate between pacing the room, drinking water, going to the bathroom, and sleeping. The only forms of distraction available to me are my own thoughts and fears for the future. An unknown amount of time passes by. At some point, my female visitor stops coming to give me food and instead, every once in awhile, a flap I didn’t know existed in the door opens and food pushes through it. It’s the only way I can gauge any passage of time. But even the meals seem to come sporadically.
A couple days could have passed, a couple weeks, even a month. Time has lost all meaning to me. At every moment, worry over the fate of Allison and Jess courses through my body.
I lie and stare at the ceiling in boredom.
My endless passage of time is interrupted when lights come on in the room. Dominic walks toward me quickly.
When he gets close to me, I can’t help myself. I say, “What happened?”
He looks absolutely exhausted. His right eye twitches from stress. “Stop talking, Joe. I’m really busy and I have some questions for you. I’m not here to play games. I just need information.”
I raise my eyebrows in surprise. Right now, he needs me. I have something that he can’t forcibly take from me. I sense a slight power shift. I suspect he does as well because he looks absolutely furious. But behind his anger, fear is at play.
“For every answer I give, you give me one,” I say in negotiation.
His fingers drum in the air. “I told you, I’m not here to play some game with you.”
I refuse to back down. “Those are my terms.”
He studies me for a moment. “Fine. I’m going first.”
I nod in agreement.
“Your friend, the one you all came here to help, are you positive he was Planned?”
“Yes. Are Jess and Allison alive?”
“Yes. Was he bitten before he turned?”
“Not that I’m aware of. How long have I been in this room?” I ask.
He pauses while he calculates. “You all came here twenty-three days ago. Have you met anyone else besides the two people you were staying with?”
“No, we haven’t. You could get this information from either Jess or Allison. Why are you asking me?” I look at him curiously.
“Because I know you well enough to know if you’re lying to me or telling the truth.” “What have you done to Jess and Allison?”
He narrows his eyes at me asking out of turn, yet still answers.
“All we have done with Allison is some blood work. I don’t want to put any more stress on her while she is pregnant. It’s important this baby is born healthy so we can learn from it. She has been kept very comfortable.”
“And Jess?” I’m anxious for his response.
“Some basic genetic testing, similar to what I’ve done to you,” he says.
I let out a sigh of relief. If all he’s done is what he’s been doing to me, she’s fine. Bored out of her mind, but okay.
“I also taught her her place,” Dominic says.
“What does that mean?” My mind races at the possibilities.
“It’s my turn to ask the question,” my brother says. “Do you still wish you were Planned?”
His question and tone take me by surprise. I really consider his question.
“I’m not sure. I genuinely don’t know. What did you mean when you said you ‘taught her her place’?”
Instead of answering, he turns around and heads to the door.
“Where are you going? You owe me an answer,” I say.
“I don’t have any more questions for you,” he says. Dominic slams the door closed behind him. I sit down at the sound of the locks engaging.
I replay the scene in my head over and over again. Every motion he made, every tone he used, and every word he said. I come up with one conclusion. Something’s very wrong.
I scream in frustration at being so out of control. There’s nothing I can do right now to protect Jess. I can’t even protect myself. Remaining on the cot, I lightly punch the wall.
The hopelessness threatens to encompass everything about me. In anger, I punch the wall again, a little harder. The pain in my knuckles is a welcome distraction from my thoughts. I punch again and welcome the hurt.
When the ache starts to go away, I yell again and hit the wall even harder, angry tears escaping. The pain sears through my hands and breaks through my skin. Blood spreads on the wall and starts to drip down my hand.
What am I doing? Punching a wall isn’t going to do me any good. I take a deep breath in an attempt to steady myself.
My right hand is already swelling from the recent abuse. For some reason, the blood dripping down my wrist is funny. I chuckle in amusement. How did I think this would help me at all? Now, on top of everything else, I’m bleeding.
My chuckle turns into an uncontrollable laughter. As I struggle to get enough air in past my almost hysterical laughter, my breathing hitches and my sides ache. Here I am, locked in a room, and I try to punch my way through the cement. Who do I think I am?
I breathe one last humorless chuckle and stop laughing. My attention returns to my throbbing hand.
Dominic’s voice echoes through my memory, “I also taught her her place.”
What has he done to her? But also, what can I do about it? I’m hopeless, unable to do anything to protect the one I love. In this room, I’m useless. Just like when my mother died, when my friends were killed, when Matt turned. And right now, I can’t do anything to help Jess.
If only I had known Death would become one of my closest companions, I would have spent more time appreciating all that was good in my life while they were still with me.
Ever since the world fell apart, I’ve been pushing down the pain, as best I can, to numb myself from all the hurt. It’s how I’ve really been able to survive—by going forward. But there’s no running from it anymore. Grief has caught up and forces itself to be acknowledged.
I lower my head into my hands and finally let myself feel everything. It almost breaks me.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Once again, I’m subject to an endless passage of time. I’ve only received one meal since I last saw Dominic and my stomach tells me it was a long time ago. I hate everything about this room. I just want it all to be over, one way or the other. This waiting game is slowly driving me insane. I suspect this is Dominic’s intention.
With nothing better to d
o, I pace the room. I know the room’s dimensions well enough by this point that I close my eyes and pretend I’m somewhere else. Sometimes I have Jess, Allison, and Matt walking with me. Other times, I’m with my mother. I even fantasize about laughing with Andrew and Chris. The most heartbreaking moments are when I allow myself to daydream about it just being me and Jess together.
When I return to reality, my heart breaks every time. I wish I had some physical evidence that they existed and were part of my life.
But no matter where my daydream takes me, I’m never alone. In my fantasies, someone I care about is always with me. There used to be a time when I savored my time by myself. But now, all I want is someone to talk with. I want this endless solitary confinement to end. I wonder if Jess wishes I were with her as much as I want her beside me.
A beep followed by the lock retracting fills the room. I jump up and run over to the door. I’m going to try to tackle Dominic and overpower him. I hope if he’s surprised enough he will not have time to put his guard up. The door creeps open. I plant my right foot so I can get a good push off the ground. A shadow appears at the door. I hold my breath in anticipation.
A weak voice echoes off the walls. “Elliot?”
I exhale in shock. I never thought I would hear that voice again. “Is that you, Andrew?” My voice cracks with disuse.
Andrew turns on the lights. It blinds me and I have to wait for my eyes to adjust. Andrew steps closer to me and my shock at discovering him alive is overpowered by the overall dramatic transformation in his appearance.
He looks like he’s aged about twenty years. He’s lost too much weight and almost all of his hair. What’s left is flaky-looking. His eyes appear to have sunken into his head. The difference in his skin is more subtle. I can’t think of a better way to describe it besides overall unhealthiness.
He notices me gaping and attempts a pained smile. “I know, I don’t look good. You can say it. We can address the elephant in the room.”
“You’ve looked better,” I admit. “What happened?”
“Hold on, let me take a seat,” Andrew says.
He moves slowly to my bed and sits down. I join and eye him nervously.
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