Kris rolled her shoulders. “From what Tim says, the threat is real.”
“Geez.” Jessi threw the blanket over the back of the chair she’d vacated. “Et tu, Brute?”
Kris’s guilty smile flashed and faded quickly. “It’s not like that. I just want you to be safe.”
Jessi dropped back into her chair. “I know.”
Kris covered one of Jessi’s hands and squeezed. “What are you going to do?”
“Good question.” She sucked in a harsh breath at the pain lashing her heart. “He lied to me, Kris.”
Kris slid her hand free and sat back. Eyes full of concern, she cocked her head. “True, but Max wasn’t the only one to go into this boyfriend plan with an ulterior motive.”
Guilty as charged, Jessi winced.
“He also shared the details of his past with the press. He didn’t do that for your father or Tuck. He did that for you, girlfriend.”
And lost Haven Place in the process. Jessi scrunched her eyes shut. “Yeah, there is that.”
Kris leaned on her elbows. “You’re looking at this all wrong. Sure, Max lied by omission, but it wasn’t like you were getting anywhere on your own. Look at what you’ve achieved thanks to your father’s interference. You’ve spent the last few weeks having hot monkey sex with Mighty Max and you got him to admit he loves you.”
Kris picked up her glass. “As hard as it is for me to admit, it sounds like your boyfriend plan worked. You’re angry, with good cause, but we both know once you calm down you’re going to forgive him. He says he loves you. Why not give him the chance to prove it?”
They both jumped at the heavy pounding rattling the front door. Kris rose to answer, and Jessi snatched up her full glass, downing the contents. Tim’s voice reached her from the other room.
“Is she here?”
“Well, good evening to you, too.”
Jessi shook her head at Kris’s snarky tone, and when nothing but silence followed, she leaned over to glance into the living room. Her eyes widened, discovering why Tim failed to deliver his typical, snappy rejoinder. He couldn’t at the moment. Not with his mouth busy…as well as his arms. Kris’s back arched over one of his forearms as he planted a hard and fast kiss on her lips.
Snapping straight in her chair, Jessi choked when her cousin finally spoke in a clipped voice.
“Baby, in the not too distant future, I’m going to call your bluff. I’ll have you naked and panting beneath me, and when I do, that sexy, smartass mouth will be singing a different tune. Now, is Jessi here or not?”
Kris’s voice was deeper than usual, and a hell of a lot more breathless. “In the kitchen.”
Heavy footfalls headed Jessi’s way. She looked up as Tim appeared in the doorway, but if he was embarrassed at having his sexy challenge overheard, it didn’t show. Brows lowered and eyes intent, he closed the distance. Kris stopped in the doorway, pink flags of color tinting her cheeks.
Tim squatted beside Jessi’s chair and rubbed a hand over her knee. “You okay?”
“Hell no, I’m not okay.” Tears stung her eyes and nose. “Why didn’t you tell me? I expect this kind of bullshit from Dad and the others, but not from you.”
He sighed and shook his head. “I’m sorry, Jess. By the time I found out, it was already done.”
“You should have said something immediately.” She shoved his hand from her knee. “I trust you to watch my back.”
Eyes dark with empathy, he balanced on the balls of his feet, knees spread and his hands dangling between his knees. “That’s exactly what I was trying to do.”
She scoffed a snort and pinned him with a sneer. “How? By standing back and watching while they all made a fool of me?”
The gentle compassion on his face winked out in a flash. His lips pulled tight in a harsh line, and he pushed to his feet. “By keeping my mouth shut and hoping like hell when things blew up in your face, you’d finally get mad enough to face the truth.”
“What truth is that?” She tucked her arms around her middle and fought angry tears. “That everyone I care about thinks it’s okay to go behind my back and treat me like an imbecile who doesn’t have an intelligent thought in her head?”
“Hold it right there.” He jammed his hands to his hips. “I’ve never gone behind your back and you’re not exactly innocent in this. You put these wheels in motion when you went to Max instead of facing Ryan head-on and telling him you’ve had enough.”
Oh, so not fair. Okay, so she was partly to blame for coming up with her boyfriend plan in the first place, but for God’s sake. She’d been desperate. She shoved to her feet, and her voice rose along with her temper. “I did tell him. He didn’t listen. He never listens.”
“Why should he when he knows you’ll give in?”
“That’s not fair! What do you think my going to Max was all about? I was trying to make the point that I’m a grown woman, capable of living my own life.”
Ruddy color flagged his cheeks, and his eyes snapped with temper. “Then act like one!”
She gasped and a crushing hurt pierced her heart. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It means it’s time to start living your own life instead of locking yourself in your mother’s dream.”
As if the blow were physical, she staggered back a step, but apparently, he wasn’t finished.
“It’s me, Jess. I was there that first time Ryan volunteered you to sing at the fundraiser he organized in your mother’s name. I held your hair afterward while you threw up, remember?”
The murky memory of that day not long after her mother was murdered slithered through her head—mind-numbing fear as she stood before her first audience and the subtle easing of the grief in her father’s eyes as she started to sing.
Tim’s shoulders sagged. “Do you think I don’t see the dread on your face every time he suggests a new tour or booking?”
She blinked, the painful images shattering like breaking glass as he stepped toward her.
“He pushed you into a career you never wanted and you let him, but when are you going to realize, none of it will bring your mother back. For you or your father.”
She couldn’t breathe. Pressing a fist to her chest, she dropped into her chair.
“Tim.” Kris’s quiet admonition broke through the angry tension buzzing between Jessi and Tim like a swarm of bees.
He flicked a sharp glance at Kris. “Sorry, but it’s the truth and it’s time she hears it.” Bracing his hands on the table across from Jessi, he leaned in. “I loved your mother, too. She was a sweet woman with a kind soul, but she’s gone. It’s time to let go. Do you think she’d be happy knowing you’re making yourself sick for a dream that died with her?”
Fifteen years of grief clawed at her lungs and tears flooded her eyes. Tim’s pain-filled face shimmered before her.
“For God’s sake, Tim.” Kris crossed the room to wrap an arm around Jessi’s shoulders.
Jessi sucked in desperate breaths. Blinking furiously, she stared into Tim’s pleading eyes. The pain in them reflected hers but, as harsh as his words were, they were honest. And true. Hadn’t Max voiced a similar sentiment that night in New Hampshire?
Shame gripped her by the throat. All these months…years, actually, she’d let bitterness build inside her, blaming her family for her unhappiness when, the truth was, she’d let cowardice keep her from facing the truth. Afraid to witness the disappointment in her father’s eyes, she’d continued along on the course he’d set for her when she’d been too numb to argue. She no longer had that excuse.
“No, she wouldn’t.” She swiped at the tears leaking down her cheeks with shaking fingers. “Mom would tell me to follow my heart.”
Tim’s smile was tinged with sadness, but there was relief in his familiar eyes. “She’d want you to be happy.”
Max’s voice echoed in her head. Figure out what’s holding you back from being happy. Find out what it is yo
u want and then make it happen.
Her heart thudded against her ribs, but hope trumped her fear. If she truly wanted to live life on her own terms, it would be up to her to take the steps necessary to get there. She wrapped an arm around Kris’s waist and squeezed briefly, then turned back to her cousin. “It looks like I’ve got some changes to make. Will you help me?”
* * * *
“God damn it, pick up.” Max held the phone between his shoulder and ear. Shoving an arm into the sleeve of his coat, he yanked open the condo door.
“Hello.”
Ryan’s sleep-roughened voice only increased the stark fear and frustration clawing at Max’s gut. He loped down the steps to the fight center, taking them two at a time. “Wake up. We’ve got a problem.”
Although it was early, two of the mats were already occupied, and Tina manned the front desk. He headed in her direction.
“Max? What’s going on?” Instantly clear of grogginess, Ryan’s question held a sharp edge.
“Jessi took off.” He finished shrugging into his coat. “I was hoping she headed there.”
“Why would she come here? What happened?”
“Hold on.” He dipped the phone from his mouth as Tina looked up and smiled. “Have you seen Jessi this morning?”
She shook her head. “Nope.”
“What time did you get here?”
Confusion tweaked the barbell piercing her brow. “Same time as usual. I unlocked at five. Why?”
He didn’t bother explaining. Spinning toward the garage exit at the far end of the center, he called over his shoulder. “Call me immediately if she shows up.”
Impatience and concern colored Ryan’s voice. “Max. What the hell is going on?”
He punched the bar on the door, rushed into the garage, and wrenched open the SUV door. “I told her the truth about why I agreed to help her.”
“Jesus.”
“I know, but I had my reasons.” He snapped the phone into the hands-free clip and shoved the key in the ignition. Starting the vehicle, he cued the garage door at the same time. “She was pissed, of course. She left sometime between midnight and five this morning.”
“Damn it, Jessi.” Ryan sighed harshly. “Have you called Tim?”
“I’ll let you do that.” Shifting in his seat, he looked over his shoulder and backed the vehicle outside, jumping the curb to avoid a double-parked delivery truck. “I spoke to Dan. She didn’t go home. I’m on my way over to Kris’s.”
He ground his teeth and braked at a red light. Rush hour in Manhattan was a slow slog. Walking the three block’s to Kris’s condo would be quicker but, considering how furious Jessi had been when she slammed the door to his guest bedroom last night, he doubted she’d come with him willingly. Kidnapping was his only option. For that, he’d need wheels.
“What happened with your FBI meeting yesterday?”
“Not a lot. Unless or until another letter arrives, we’ve got nothing.”
Max grunted. “For six weeks, a letter came every other week, then nothing. What changed? Why’d they stop? Has our guy given up or simply gone to ground for the moment?”
“We stepped up her security and she moved in with you, but her security was already tight. I don’t know, Max. It doesn’t make sense, but I’m not willing to call off the search until we find this guy and know for sure.”
Max clenched his fingers on the steering wheel and zipped around a cab picking up a fare. “Neither am I.” A soft ping sounded in the background and Max tensed. “Was that your doorbell?”
“Yeah. Jesus, it better be her.”
Max ignored the honking horns as he yanked the wheel, crossing two lanes for a last minute turn. “I’ll be there in five.”
Chapter 26
“Where the hell have you been?” Ryan grasped Jessi by the shoulders and yanked her inside the foyer of his condo. He enfolded her in his arms, squeezing her hard enough to crush her bones.
She blinked, surprised to find he was shaking.
“And why didn’t you call and let me know you were with her?”
She pulled back and turned her head toward Tim. Her cousin spread his hands, but she beat him to any excuse he might have made. “I’m fine, Dad. I was at Kris’s.”
Her father grasped her shoulders. Holding her at arm’s length, he studied her face. “God, Jessi. You scared the hell out of me. Max called and said you’d left. I was worried sick.”
A lash of hurt whipped across her chest. She stepped back and his hands fell to his sides. “By Max, you mean the man you hired, behind my back, to keep an eye on me?”
Guilt reddened her father’s cheeks. “Jessi, I—”
“Save it, Dad.” She shook her head. “We have more important things to discuss.”
Eyes wary, he slid his gaze to Tim who shrugged and closed the door.
Ryan turned back to her. “What’s more important than your security?”
Jittering nerves tangled in her belly. She ignored them, sucked a bracing breath, and officially took control of her life. “My happiness. I’ll finish the scheduled concert on Wednesday and perform at the Super Bowl this weekend, but after that, I’m done. The only singing I’ll be doing from here on will be in the studio.”
His face paled. “You’re quitting?”
Tim slapped a hand to Ryan’s shoulder. “Hear her out, Uncle Ry.”
“When she’s talking madness?” His gaze jerked between them as if they were both crazy.
“It’s not madness, Dad. Madness is living every day with a gut-wrenching fear of doing your job.”
He scoffed in dismissal. “That’s just—”
“Stage fright. Yeah, I know. I’ve told myself to get over it. That lots of performers suffer from it, but most performers put up with the initial fear of walking out on stage because they ultimately love what they do.” She swallowed and forced the words from her mouth she should have uttered long ago. “I don’t. I hate the stage, Dad. I always have.”
His shoulders slumped and confusion clouded his blue eyes. “I don’t understand. You’ve been on the stage for ten years. Why are you only now saying something?”
“Because the stage was Momma’s dream, and I loved her, too. When it became your dream after she died….” Tears stung her eyes and her throat threatened to close. “How could I say no?”
Painful memories of those dark days immediately following her mother’s murder flashed in her father’s eyes as he drew her back into his arms. “Jessi.”
She burrowed closer, clinging to him the way she had when she’d been a little girl and her world had been ripped apart. “I’m sorry, Dad. I just can’t do it anymore.”
He rocked her, his strong arms contracting in a fierce squeeze. “God, sweetheart. I don’t know what to say. “
“Say you understand.” She pressed her face to his T-shirt and inhaled his familiar scent. “That you won’t be disappointed in me for walking away.”
“How could I ever be disappointed in you?” His whisper brushed her temple. “You’ve made me proud every day of your life. Your mother would have loved to see you perform, but she was proud of you, too, even before you started singing professionally.”
“I know she was and sometimes, when I was on stage, I felt her there, but I also think she’d understand why I need to stop.”
Jessi pulled back and he let go.
He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his nose. His chest rose on a deep breath, and he glanced at Tim before turning back to her. “What about the second half of the tour? You have eight cities lined up.”
“No.” She sniffled and brushed her fingers beneath both eyes. “You have eight cities lined up, and I want your word you won’t be booking anymore. From here on in, I run my life.”
Color stained his cheeks, but he nodded curtly. “You have my word.”
She released the breath she hadn’t realized had stalled in her throat. Relief made her li
ghtheaded, as if a weight had suddenly been lifted from her shoulders and she’d been set free.
Tim gave her a gentle smile, then dove into the sticky details of extracting her from the world of touring. “We’ll head over to the studio from here. Spence mentioned he has a new song he wants Jessi to hear. There’s a possibility he’ll want to run the second half of the tour on his own, and we’ll have some logistics to work out with the venues. If not, I’ll get to work cancelling the rest of the shows.”
Ryan nodded and rubbed a hand over his chin in thought. “It’s going to cost a bundle in cancellation fees.”
Jessi lifted her chin. “I’ll cover them.”
“Spence isn’t going to be happy.”
“Probably not, but he’ll get over it. He’ll have to.” She shrugged to cover her nerves. Spence was the one area where she was uncomfortable with the decisions she and Tim had discussed throughout the hours at Kris’s table. Spence had built a career with Jessi at his side. He counted on her, and she was going to let him down. Still, he’d told her to get her head on straight. That’s exactly what she was doing. “I’ll continue to work with him in the studio if he wants. If that doesn’t work for him, he has the talent to go out on his own, and I’ll wish him every success.”
A heavy sigh lifted her father’s chest. “It sounds like you’ve made up your mind. I’m sorry, Jess. I knew you were unhappy. I should have asked why.”
“Don’t, Dad. This is on me. I should have said something long ago.”
Guilt poked at her as she thought of all the trouble and heartbreak they could have avoided. Then again, if she’d spoken up years ago, she never would have had these past three weeks with Max. Renewed hurt and anger sliced at her like claws.
Her career wasn’t the only place she’d be making changes. For years, she’d chased after Max’s affections. No more. She’d made her love for him more than clear. The rest was up to him. He claimed he loved her. If that was true, he was going to have to prove it.
Ryan cleared his throat, and his forehead wrinkled in wariness. “You know you have my full support regarding what you’ve decided to do, but your security is still an issue. Until we know—”
To Win Her Heart (Players) Page 23