The Light of the World (The Light Series Book 1)

by Tara Brown

  I throw on underwear and a sports bra. Easier to outrun Wyatt if I wear a sports bra and harder for Constantine to get into. I pull on a t-shirt, a sweater, and some jeans. I feel like I'm dressing like a homeless person. Technically, I am homeless, so layers are important.

  I put on two pairs of socks and a thick jacket. I grab the handle but the door is locked.

  “Asshole,” I mutter.

  I close my eyes and listen. The dead aren’t there. “Are you here? Can you help me?” Nothing. He must have some kind of enchantment on my room. Which makes sense. The dead never called to me in my bed when we slept here before. They called to me when I got to the hallway. They wanted me to sleep in the hall with them.

  I turn and look at the windows. It wouldn’t be the first time, and I have a sinking feeling it won't be the last.

  I put the window up and try not to let the frigid air off the ocean scare me off. I climb out onto the window ledge. If he catches me, he can drag me back without any fight.

  A huge gust of wind blows past me. I grip the ledge of the house with my nails. The trembling in my hands isn’t helping my balance. I slide along the ledge to the roof of the conservatory. Taking breathes and attempting to muster courage, I jump. My fingers desperately try to grip the shingles as I slide down the roof. I'm not sure, but I think I hear myself screaming. Pain is everywhere. My fingers are scraping against the singles and my face is scratching as I slide. I push my legs in, and as I hit the rain gutter I stop. The metal makes a snapping noise and a groan. I start breathing again. My heart is attempting to pound its way out of my chest. I take a deep breath and wait for my entire body to stop shaking.

  The cold wind is stinging my chin. My fingers are bleeding and stinging too. I lay my huffing and puffing face against the cold rough shingles and close my eyes for a moment. I'm not sure how to die, but falling off a roof and landing in some psycho's rock garden seems like a bad plan.

  I start the journey across the roof after I've calmed my breathing. I clear my throat and look down. I'm still winded and starting to feel exhausted from the adrenaline rush.

  I get to the lowest point where the grass looks lush and a bunch of old bushes sit against the house. His gardens surrounding the conservatory are beautiful.

  I don’t know how to get off the roof. I slide to the corner where I think the downspout will be. I slide my hands down the roof to the gutter. I grip it and let my legs fall off the back. The metal cuts into my already-sore hands. I swing back and forth for a moment. The windows of the conservatory are empty. He isn’t there. I reach for the downspout and kick my legs until they reach it. I shimmy down like at Wyatt's house. When my feet touch the ground, they sting. I turn to run, but standing on the grass with his arms crossed and a huge smile playing with his lips is Constantine.

  He claps his hands as I drop to my knees. “That was amazing, my love. Really, I never ever imagined you would grow to be so resourceful. No wonder they put you in a tower.”

  The first step he takes toward me brings tears to my defeated eyes. I slump over and sob.

  He stops and watches me. “Don’t cry. Please. It breaks my heart.”

  I shake my head. “You don’t have a heart.” I sob.

  His look is pained. “I know I don’t. I gave it to you over seven hundred years ago, and I've never asked for it back.”

  I cry harder. My bitchy brain is chanting it's a trick, but my heart is remembering his tender love.

  I smell the ocean in the air. The nixie are calling me.

  I look up at him. He knows my thoughts. He can read my face.

  He raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms again. “You really think you can outrun me?”

  I shake my head. “I know I can't.”

  He walks to me and lifts me from the ground. His fingers are soft and gentle where they touch. “I have loved you for all of eternity, Rayne.”

  I wrap my arms around him and kiss him fervently.

  His lips try to keep up, but I am moving fast. I run my hands through his thick dark hair and tug on it slightly. He moans into my mouth. His tongue caresses mine as I suck it. He almost drops me. I wrap my legs around him. He sits down on the grass and lies on his back. I am on top, dry humping him. I kiss and almost get lost in the show. He tastes like every sin I've ever eaten, all mixed into one. He is delicious. But I can't seem to eat him. Something blocks it.

  His hands are cupping me and grinding me into him. I struggle from his grip and stand. I make like I'm about to undo my jacket, and instead, I break into a run. My legs explode with the effort and energy. The nixie slide from the water in twitching movements. Hundreds of them line the shores. They were waiting for me. I could have heard them singing in the water if I had listened close enough.

  I leap from rock to rock and push hard. I see a blonde one first. She twitches and jerks in slow movements toward me. They are the scariest crap I've ever seen on land. Her smile is bright but her eyes flicker behind me. I push harder. I know he's right behind me. I leap for the nixie. They swarm around me instantly and twirl. I am lost in the cyclone of them until we are in the water again.

  They swim me out fast. Constantine can swim fast, but not as fast as nixie can. I struggle for the surface. When I reach it I bob amongst the hundreds of glowing heads.

  He is on the shore again and laughing, but I can see he's pissed. “Well played, Rayne. Well played.”

  His dark eyes are red. They always turn red when he feeds. At his feet are three dead nixie. He licks their colorful blood from his fingers.

  He turns and leaves the shoreline.

  Ten nixie have died for me.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Willow hands me the tea. I hate it. It's nettle and Oregon grape. It tastes like cat pee smells. The mug's warmth and the smile I get from her make the taste tolerable.

  “The nixie are your mother's truest people. They are the fae. True fae. Creatures of the earth. Water witches. They are the best bet for finding the sacred garden,” the redhead says.

  “Why are they helping me, if they know she is going to die when I kill her?” I ask.

  The redhead shakes her head. “We don’t know. We don’t know if they’ve helped you before or if this is a new development.”

  I am exhausted like I've never felt. “Well, I know this is my last lifetime. This is the last time I will be born. I've been born four other times. This is the fifth. Apparently, Constantine knew me for the last three.”

  The redhead frowns. “What?”

  I nod. “He's known me three times. Says he loved me all three times. Says I'm his.”

  This news doesn’t improve either of their faces. “His?” The redhead, Glory, almost spits the word at me. She looks worried. “How has he tracked you down three times? We had a terrible time finding you. You were three when we finally did.”

  I'm confused. “What? I was three? Where was I?”

  Willow looks distracted. “You were in an orphanage. The nuns said that a young girl who swore up and down that she was a virgin brought you in. She was Catholic and said you would be the Antichrist being reborn.”

  “Antichrist? Who thinks that about their baby?” I ask, offended.

  Willow shrugs. “A fifteen-year-old girl who's never had sex before. God puts you in the place you have the best chance of surviving the twenty-one years. He never gives you to people who will hurt you.”

  I’m still confused. “How did you know who I was?”

  Glory shrugs. “The nixie. They came and told us that you had been born again and you were alone in the world. They said you were in an orphanage. We would know you by the light in your eyes. We can see it. We always have been able to. We searched every orphanage until we found you. We were asked by the nixie to take you into our care. Lillith herself tasked it to us. Willow volunteered and the rest is history.”

  “Why did you raise me like a normal kid? Why not here where the magic is?” I'm always confused.

  Willow smiles and puts her h
ands over mine. “We can't let you stay here. You weaken our magic. You bring the evil inside of you and the evil looking for you everywhere you go. You taint the very earth you stand upon. This is a sanctuary.”

  I don’t like that answer.

  “Have you ever spoken to my mother?” I ask, trying to change the subject.

  Glory shakes her head. “No, only the nixie and other true fae can get to her.”

  I watch her eyes when I ask, “How can I find her?” The redhead reveals nothing.

  Willow leans in and kisses my forehead. “We don’t know. We know there are four types of witches and each one is a small aspect of her. We are fae but not true fae. Earth witches guard the earth, balance the energy, and care for the plants and creatures. We heal things. The fire witches are the same as us: part human and walk upon the earth. The nixie, the water witches, are the only ones who are still true fae. They have lived separate of the humans and have remained unsoiled. We earth and fire witches have become more human than fae. We are no longer permitted into the sacred garden. The knowledge of the garden was lost to us ages ago. Humans can't get to the garden, unless they are completely pure of heart.”

  “I thought that the witches were part of Lillith?” I ask, still watching Glory.

  Willow squeezes my hands. “We are. Lillith is an angel; she isn’t human. We got our magic from Lillith. The water witches have a bit of Lillith's blessing in them. Mostly they are fae. True fae means they have no human in them. The bloodline isn’t watered down with non-magic, so to speak.”

  “What about the air witches?”

  Willow points to the sky. “Opposite of the water witches. Angels. Mixed fae and angel. Mostly angel though. Snooty. We don’t get on with them.”

  The redhead crosses her arms. “The nixie are the only ones who know anything about the sacred garden, and believe me, they protect the secret with their lives. The air witches can't get to the garden because they don’t have enough fae. It's confusing, okay?”

  I sigh and rub my temples. “Super confusing. Yikes.”

  Willow looks at me with her glowing green eyes. “You need to find the witch who handfasted you and get her to take it off. Only a fire witch can handfast and only the witch who does it can remove it. Then Wyatt can't track you.” Her eyes soften. “I believe he loves you. But better not risk it.”

  “You need to focus on the task of killing the devils too, Rayne. Until they die, the sin is just filling up and waiting for you to be ready. Take away the human's chance of filling you up.” Glory looks spicy.

  I nod. “Okay.”

  Dismissal lurks in the air.

  Willow smiles but it's empty. “You can't stay, my sweet girl.”

  I laugh. “What happened to the labels? You hated labels, and now you call me everything under the sun.”

  Willow laughs. “You called me Mom. I wasn’t your mom. I didn’t earn the title. I told you I didn’t like labels. It was easier than explaining that you were the human equivalent to an angelic garbage disposal who would be sacrificed if I wasn’t careful.”

  I watch her eyes. “Who is it you're afraid of? Who is coming for me?”

  She flinches. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. She looks like she is about to cry. “Your father.”

  Glory jerks her head around. “What? You spoke to him?”

  Willow nods. “I was trying desperately to divert his attentions. He felt the change in her, like we all did. When the sin eater awoke in her, he came looking for her. He told me he had to meet with her. It was the way things were done. The way the process worked. She needed to look upon him and know he loved her, and that she was doing the world a great service. She needed to see the martyr she was.”

  Glory grabs Willow's arms and shakes her. “You spoke to Lucifer, and you kept it secret?”

  Willow looks down, ashamed and defeated. “He made me keep it secret.”

  The redhead looks crazy. She starts to cry. “No, Willow. No. What have you done?”

  I'm more confused than before.

  Willow looks at me as a single tear slithers down her cheek. Her green eyes glow bright for a moment and then fade. “I saved her.” Her lips tremble as she whispers.

  The light behind her eyes is gone.

  She collapses on the table.

  I don’t know what is happening. I reach for her but my hands reach into a pile of daisies, instead of her. Tiny daisies. Hundreds of them. Thousands. “What? Willow?” I stammer and reach for the flowers. I grip them and claw through the pile. She isn’t there. The daisies fall onto the floor and spill off the table. I scream in a rage and panic. Tears blind me. “What have you done? Is this magic? Where is she?”

  I look around but Glory is on the floor sobbing. The daisies are everywhere. Willow is nowhere.

  I collapse onto the floor and sob.

  Glory is rocking back and forth. I am near screaming.

  “W-w-w-what h-h-h-happened?” I ask in sobs.

  I hear noises and commotion. I hear other people sobbing. Someone screams and thumps onto the ground next to me.

  Daisies are everywhere.

  Fingers grab at me and voices fill the air that feels too heavy. “She loved you, Rayne. She loved you so much. You were always her child. In her heart, you were hers.” Hands touch me, rubbing my back, trying to hold me. I push them off.

  I can't listen to it.

  I push myself up and stagger to the front room. I run for the front door. I run out into the dark black garden and down the pier. I dive off the end of it into the water. The nixie are there, waiting for me. They hold me, and we cry together.

  “Take me to my mother. Please,” I whisper into the water.

  The brunette woman holding me shakes her head. “We can't, Rayne. You're not ready. You must kill the devils.”

  I cry into the waves. “Please. Please, I need some help. I need someone.”

  They hold me and let me cry, and we swim. When I see the lights of a harbor, I know they didn’t bring me to her.

  I pull myself from the waves and look back at the lights filling the water. I can't see much in the fog. I think I am at Constantine's house again. It's not a harbor. It's where I ran from. They brought me back. The house looks like his. In the fog it does.

  They must hate me for the death of Willow and the three other nixie. They made me come back to him. I stumble up the rocks to the grass.

  I collapse on the grass and curl into a ball. I'm freezing. I pray for death. I know I won't be granted it, but praying can't hurt.

  I close my eyes and let the dead take me

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  She is sitting making me a daisy wreath. It feels morbid, but I let her put the crown of daisies on my head. She smiles. The light in her green eyes is almost blinding now.

  “I saw her, Rayne. She thanked me. She thanked me for loving you and being the mother she could never be,” she whispers.

  Tears roll down my cheeks. “I'm so sorry, Willow. I'm sorry my evil killed you.”

  She shakes her head and wipes my tears. “No, my darling girl. You have done nothing wrong. He knew I would lie to him to protect you. He knew it would corrupt my soul and end my light. I was happy to protect you. When he asked me to give you to him, I lied to him. I never intended for him to take you, ever. I told him to meet me at the house, but I put the charm on the house—he wouldn’t have found you inside. It was the only way to keep you safe. I lied to him and corrupted my soul. Lying to Lucifer means you take some of his evil. Earth witches can't have evil inside of them. It spreads like a weed and kills the light. My only regret is leaving you so soon. I wasn’t ready to leave you.” Her fingers grip mine, and for the smallest moment I sense the light inside of her.

  I open my eyes and wake calm as always. My heart is broken, and the pain in my chest takes a second to register. Tears flood my eyes when I register that I am in my room.

  His arms wrap around me. He holds me to him and kisses my cheek. His kisses are soft and sw
eet. His touch is gentle and compassionate.

  “What happened?” he whispers into my ear.

  “Willow,” I sob. I can't say anything else. She was so beautiful in my dream. I know it wasn’t a dream. She came to see me, like the dead do. I sleep with the dead.

  My body convulses. It feels like she took the light with her, all the light there was inside of me. It's gone now.

  All of the goodness I had was from her. She saved me, every inch of me. I could have grown up evil and angry from being abandoned, and instead I was raised with love and kindness.

  “Shhhh. It's okay, Rayne. I won't let anything happen to you.” His body forms around mine, and for the first time, I notice the stomach twinges I have. I look back.

  My body tenses and panic rips through me.

  “Wyatt? Where am I?”

  Wyatt frowns. “You didn’t know you were with me, did you?” The question hurts both of us.

  I sniffle and shake my head. How could the nixie betray me like this?

  I don’t have the energy or anger to fight him.

  “Come here. Lie back down. I swear I won't hurt you,” he says, but I don’t believe him.

  I shake my head and pull farther away.

  His dark-blue eyes flicker in the dim light of the lit candles. I don’t recognize the room. My brain played tricks on me. It saw my room at Constantine's. I wanted to see it. I should have known I wasn’t there though. The dead never take me when I'm in my room at Constantine's. I can't help but wonder if the reason the nixie brought me here was to make sure I could be with her. Or they really are just angry with me.

  “Where are we?”

  He sits up and pulls my face to his. He looks deeply into my eyes and kisses my cheeks. “Fitz's house.” Chills run up and down my spine.

  “Please, let me go. Please,” I beg instantly.

  He shakes his head. “I can't.”

  I close my eyes as silent tears drip from them.

  He kisses them away. “I can't, because they're looking for you. You're safe here. My uncle felt your mom die. They were handfasted too.”