by Rae Agatha
Dan was quite surprised she said yes just like that, without any hesitation or persuasion, but he thought it was a good sign, it was really possible for them to get to know each other.
They went over to the table, and Dan introduced Kate to his friends, all of them welcomed her warmly, she sat among them and finishing her drink while speaking to everyone and watching the Premier League game on the TV above them. They spent some hours there joking, laughing, talking about life and when they walked out of the pub, Dan asked Kate if he could walk her home. She agreed and they slowly strolled toward her place.
The moon was shining on them, the lampposts were casting light on the street and they just kept on talking. It was a bit odd, since they had known each other for a few hours, although perhaps it was actually because of it, they were telling each other things about their lives; their jobs, relationships, families.
Kate was a part-time accountant in a medium-sized dairy company, an only child with a small, conservative family, the kind that a person might describe as “with principles”. She was twenty-four and was being pushed by her mother to finally get married and to start a family as she “wasn’t getting any younger.” Kate hated the pressure, she told Dan that it happened quite often that she was either stood up like tonight, or the whole dating thing ended after two or three meetings. It always made her feel pretty bad, but she would partially blame her mother for that – because of the constant pressure, Kate kept on seeing practically anyone who would show her the slightest interest, and, apparently, the more desperate she was becoming, the less luck she had. She couldn’t even tell if she was still looking for a relationship for her or was it really for her mother.
Dan told her how he used to feel the pressure of providing for the family and how deep inside he was angry with his parents for forcing him to neglect his plans to go to college, to study marketing, to become someone he wanted to be. He held a grudge against them for that, he had a feeling he had to pay with his life for their lack of prediction and prudence. It struck him with all might when he was in Norway as it was the very first time in his life when he was able to distance himself from his parents, to free himself from them and to look at things more objectively, from a different angle.
It was surprising for them both that they were able to talk about such intimate, personal things even though they hardly knew each other, but it felt good, they both needed it. Once they got to Kate’s place, she gave him her phone number and he told her he would definitely call.
***
Six month later, Kate was pregnant and they both had no idea what to do. As much comfortable as they felt in their non-strings-attached relationship, neither one of them was planning to take any serious steps any time soon. Dan and Kate had known each other for about half a year, and, due to their past experiences, they promised themselves no rush, that they wanted things to roll between them at their own pace, and the pace turned out to be quite insane.
When Kate told Dan she was pregnant, he had no idea how to react. They were at his place, she brought a pregnancy test with her and used it when she was in the bathroom to show him a proof she was expecting. She put the test on the coffee table, waiting for his reaction, and he just stood there, in shock, not knowing what to say. He glanced at the test, at her, at the test again, and felt a lump growing in his throat.
“You know, I wasn’t really expecting you to jump for joy, but you could at least say something,” Kate said and was doing her best not to start crying.
“I – I don’t know what to say, give me a minute,” he said and sat next to her on the sofa.
“What do we do?” She looked at him.
Dan rubbed his face with his hand. “I don’t know, I really don’t know.”
“I have to keep it, my family would kill me if,” she said, her voice indicated she was about to panic.
Dan touched her hand, he felt sorry for her. “No, of course, we’ll have the baby,” he said, completely unconvinced.
“Kate, we need to think now, we need to plan things. I’m looking for a job, you work only part-time, I’m running out of Norwegian money, we need to do something, otherwise, we won’t be able to provide for the baby.”
“I know, I’ve already thought of that,” she replied and started crying. Dan embraced her and kissed her forehead. One of the thoughts that kept on running through his head was that he was grateful it hadn’t happened with one of his one-night stands, that if it was to happen, then at least it happened with Kate. The sad thing was he had never thought of spending his life with her, of starting a family with her. They were good friends, friends with benefits, so to speak, they had great prospects, good chemistry between them, but it was all too fresh for him to consider Kate to be his wife, to be the mother of his children.
“I have to tell my parents,” she sobbed.
“We both will,” he replied.
“You know what will happen?” She looked at him, “You know, considering their life philosophy –“
Dan realized Kate’s parents’ expectation would be for him to marry her. He sighed.
“I don’t know, Kate. I mean, I – I don’t know, I hadn’t planned for it, to be honest with you.”
“I know,” she cried. “Me neither, but they won’t let me live peacefully unless we get married.”
The pressure Kate’s parents put on her was something Dan never entirely understood. Of course, his family had expectations of him, too, but it was different. Maybe it was a matter of gender differences; Dan was pushed to provide for the family, as a man, his natural responsibility was to take care of his close-ones, and for Kate, the pressure was about finding a husband, getting married, having kids. From his point of view, she was twenty-five, she had a whole life ahead of her (perhaps it was a man’s perspective?), from Kate’s point of view, she was almost thirty, the age at which women of previous generations, if not married, were considered spinsters. Kate didn’t agree with such philosophy, but her mother was a very persuasive woman and was somehow transferring her point of view, her fears, her expectations on her daughter, making Kate worried, scared and lost. It was a toxic relationship.
“We’ll talk to them, don’t worry,” Dan said. “I’ll tell your parents we’ll be together, that I’ll be taking care of you and the baby, it’ll be fine.”
Kate didn’t answer, she only kept on sobbing.
“Just tell me when you want to see them and I’ll go with you.”
“The sooner, the better, Dan.”
“Okay.
V
As much as Dan’s sister and mother were pretty happy with the news, surprised, but happy. They still had to face her parents and they both knew it was not going to be easy.
When they went to see them, a week after they discovered she was pregnant, they expected everything; tears, drama, reproach, but not the thing they had to face. Kate’s mother, Janet, started crying; it was her usual way of getting what she wanted. Kate’s father, Will, started shouting, first at Dan for ruining his daughter’s life. Kate asked if that wasn’t in fact what was expected of her? That at her age it was high time to get pregnant so she could somehow manage to have two, maybe even three kids before she was thirty, her mother’s dream? Dan was a little proud of Kate for speaking up but then her father started yelling at her that there had never been any bastards in their family and that she had no idea how shamed her parents would be.
Dan got up and told Kate’s father to calm down, that it wasn’t the 19th century anymore, women had sex before getting married and yes, sometimes, they got pregnant, but Kate wasn’t alone, he was there for her, taking full responsibility. At that point Kate’s mother said that if he was truly taking full responsibility, he wouldn’t have touched their daughter before marrying her first, to which Dan scoffed and Kate started crying.
Her father went to Dan and asked him how he would take care of his family since he had no job and was living in a tiny flat? Kate was surely about to lose her job now he blustered. Dan said that
employers understand that women do get pregnant so there was no need to worry about Kate’s job and that yes, he was looking for one, but it wasn’t as if he had no money.
Finally, Kate’s mother said that if he really wanted to take care of her daughter and her baby (at that point Dan corrected her saying it was baby, that the situation wasn’t only Kate’s fault and certainly wasn’t only her responsibility), then he ought to do what every man should – marry her. Dan rubbed his forehead, looked at Kate, who looked at him back with “I told you” expression. He said they would talk about it later, and asked Kate to go.
Kate moved in with Dan. His apartment was so small it was barely enough for the two of them. With a small bedroom, a living room, a kitchen and a bathroom. He had so little furniture that most of Kate’s stuff had to be left in cardboard boxes stacked along the way.
She was very depressed, he was doing his best to keep her spirit up, but the stress was eating her alive. Around that time, he saw an announcement in the newspaper, an insurance company with a rock-solid reputation, Mayflower and Sons, was looking for agents. They provided the necessary trainings, courses and certifications for all new employees and were looking for young, energetic people. Dan showed the ad to Kate and she told him he should give it a try. Perhaps insurance wasn’t exactly marketing, but the company was legit and there was a chance for a career within the firm. Dan decided to apply for the job.
For over a month Kate’s parents did not visit nor contact them in any way. She was devastated; Dan kept on telling her it was a matter of time that they just needed to come to terms with things that they had to process everything, to accept the reality. She called them a few times, but they either did not answer or talked to her very coldly, exchanging only formalities. Not once did they ask how she was feeling, how the baby was doing. Kate was sinking deeper into despair, she cried every day and it seemed as if her parents were sucking every bit of joy from her soul. Dan watched her and at one point it occurred to him that this was not the way any woman should ever have to experience such agony during a pregnancy; a time meant to be filled with expectation, with joy.Even he was beginning to feel glad he was going to be a dad whereas Kate was constantly floating aimlessly around the home, apathetic, crying. He had to do something about it, it was impossible to look at her suffering so miserably.
Dan’s application granted him a job interview and he was offered a vacancy as a junior insurance agent. He still had to go through training, to get to know Mayflower and Sons’ system, sales techniques, but he signed a three-month trial period and promised himself he would do everything in his power to become a full-time employee. Having signed the contract, he stopped by Kate’s parents’ house before going back home; he had to talk to them, somebody had to make them aware how cruelly they were torturing their daughter.
He knocked on the door twice and waited for them to open. Their car was parked on the street, he knew they were inside. He rang the bell. Finally, Janet opened the door and, without letting him in, she asked him what he wanted.
“I want to talk to you and Will,” Dan said.
“About what?”
“What do you think?”
Janet hesitated at first, and let him in. He walked inside, Will was in the hallway. They were both standing in such way to let Dan know they were not planning on inviting him inside. That was fine, he wasn’t interested in it either, he just wanted to say what he thought and leave.
“I came here to tell you two things. First one is that you’re simply killing your daughter. Not a day goes by that she doesn’t cry, not a day goes by she’s not depressed. She doesn’t understand how you can treat her like this, your only child –“
“She might have told us herself,” Will said.
“She might, but you’re either not picking up the phone or don’t want to talk to her. She doesn’t even know I’m here, by the way, I didn’t tell her I wanted to visit you, so that she didn’t get her hopes up that her parents would actually say or do something out of love and not cruelty.”
Janet was about to say something, but Dan put his hand up not allowing her to speak.
“I’m talking now. Let me finish. You are ripping and tearing away all her joy and all the thrill of expecting a baby. It’s her first child, she’s scared and she can’t even talk to her own mother about it! She’s a shadow, she’s suffering and it’s not because I got her pregnant, it’s because she has heartless parents who call themselves people with principles but whose principles are only theoretical because they’re too proud, too cruel and too stubborn to help their own daughter, their only child. If those are your principles, I’m sure glad I lack them! Now –“
“Just a minute,” Will said.
“I haven’t finished yet, Will. Once I do, you may say something, but not yet. Here,“ he said and took a piece of paper from the inside pocket of his jacket and unfolded it. “This is my job contract I signed today with Mayflower and Sons, a leading British insurance company. Starting Monday I am going to be one of their agents. That settles the problem of me not having a job and not being able to provide for my family. And, I am about to ask your daughter to marry me. Not because of your theatrical performance, no, I want to do it, because I am a responsible person, despite what you think of me. If you want to see your only daughter get married, you better give Kate a call next week, otherwise, consider yourselves not invited.”
Dan sighed. It felt good to say all of those things; God knew they deserved it all. He would gladly tell them much, much more, but he wanted to stick only to the core of the problem. He honestly hoped they would rethink their actions and allow Kate back into their lives, he didn’t want to close any doors by saying too much or by acting too harshly.
“Now, I was going to let you say something, but you know what? I changed my mind. You’ve expressed everything you wanted during the last month and a half, so perhaps I’ll just go. Oh, one more thing. You’ll have a grandson. Have a nice weekend,” Dan said and left. While he was on his way to the car, he couldn’t help but smile. This day was his day of triumph. He’d left the ball firmly in Kate’s parents’ corner; it was now their decision what to do about it. But he was very glad he’d come here and told them all those things.
On his way back home, he bought an engagement ring. He kept looking at it, still not fully convinced he would do this if Kate wasn’t pregnant, but he felt it was the right, the decent thing to do. He had to help her; he had to take her out of her misery, it was just impossible to look at her. Dan felt sorry for Kate, wanted to help her. He knew the marriage was something that would possibly cure her relationship with Janet and Will (no matter what a sorry excuse for parents they actually were.) Kate was emotionally tied to them, unhealthily, in Dan’s opinion, but he understood it was difficult to cut the ties that bind you with your parents no matter what and he genuinely wanted what was best for her.
He didn’t love her, he knew that. He did feel that the love of their child was growing inside of him, more and more with every month, that he couldn’t wait to see his son, to hold him in his arms, however, as much as he liked Kate, he couldn’t with all honesty say he loved her. It was all quite confusing, because he cared for her, promised himself he would do everything he could to make her happy, but Dan wasn’t sure if he would be with her if it wasn’t for the pregnancy. He suspected many couples who ended up in a similar situation kept on asking themselves the same question. Because now they were tied together for the rest of their lives; no matter what the future would bring, there would always be a person that would connect them, keep them together forever, it was something beyond their choice, and, ideally, people ought to choose whether they wanted to be together.
That evening Dan proposed to Kate and seeing her beaming, finally, made him realize he took a ton of weight off her shoulders and as she said yes, he hugged her and hoped, really hoped, they would be happy together.
***
Kate’s parents needed one more month to come to terms with the fa
ct that in their eyes Kate had disgraced them, but they finally called her. They said nothing about Dan’s visit, and Dan was very pleased at that. Karen invited them to come and visit, and, surprisingly they agreed. When Janet and Will came to their small apartment, Kate showed them the ring almost immediately as they walked in. Janet, hugged her and told her that now all her mistakes were going to be washed away, something that Dan had to eye-roll over when he heard it, and Will came to his future son-in-law to shake his hand. Dan could tell his future father-in-law was positively shocked by Dan’s actions and it made him think that perhaps now everything was about to settle.
Dan and Kate got married in the City Hall. She was a six-month- pregnant Mommy To Be, he was a proud Daddy To Be, and as they were exchanging their vows, Dan promised himself once again he would do everything he could to make Kate happy.
The training at Mayflower and Sons’ ended, Dan passed the internal exam and got himself his own desk, telephone and a clients’ base access. He was an easy-going person, it wasn’t difficult for him to gain new ones and to make them happy, during the next two months his results were so good, he was given a full-time job contract even a week before his three-month trial ended. Things were looking up.
VI
Johnny, a healthy boy, was born on March 11th 1996. Dan and Kate were overjoyed. Dan was doing everything he could to help her take care of their son. He loved it; loved getting up at night, loved preparing meals for him, loved taking him for walks. There was nothing around him he couldn’t do from bathing, to dressing him up, to changing the diapers.Of course, there were days he was extremely tired, but he didn’t care, it didn’t matter to him. Dan was very focused on Johnny, he loved him to pieces. His mother or Kate’s parents would occasionally help them if they wanted to spend some time alone, go to the movies, or eat dinner in the city, but it didn’t happen very often, Kate and Dan, as newly parents, were so absorbed by their son, they hardly ever thought of spending any time without him.