“The people he kills need killing.” River left it at that, but Dice wondered. He thought back and tried to remember the eight years he’d spent in a cage, but there were only flashes, flashes, and terror.
“I think you believe what you want to.” Dice said low. He couldn’t get his head around what Lucian had said. Something about a kid?
“Maybe we all do, only way to get through this shit.” River spat in the dirt and turned to make his way toward his bike and the van where Clothesline waited with the girl they had rescued. The night had ended better than any of them had expected and, while it almost hurt Dice to admit it, they had Lucian to thank for it.
Dice had Lucian to thank for a hell of a lot of shit.
4
Mallory ran her hands through her blonde curls. She knew it wasn’t helping her look saner, but it was a nervous habit she couldn’t help. She’d left Georgia and was headed for Indiana. She had no clue what to do when she got there, but at least she wasn’t sitting around doing nothing. Someone had set fire to her house, everything she owned was nothing more than a pile of ash. She was scared, terrified and she wanted to feel safe again. Officer Carver had told her Dice would keep her safe. He’d promised to watch over Nancy for a few days and had moved right into the tiny apartment bedroom she and Sam vacated. Nancy had protested until she really got a good look at Officer Nick Carver, then she was just sure she needed a guard, maybe forever.
Mallory shook her head. She loved Nancy and would worry less since she was safe. She looked over at Sam. she had enough to worry about.
“Mom, you look like that lady with snakes for hair.” Sam said from his place on the rug.
They were staying in a hotel and he was having a good time, she only wished he felt better. He was watching cartoons and eating a popsicle. His fever was high and his eyes were over- bright, but Nick had warned her not to take him to the hospital.
“Take him to his daddy. He will know what to do with him.” Nick had said as he stood at her car door. She hoped he’d been right.
“Medusa.” She said and Sam nodded.
“Yeah her. Will you turn me to stone if I look at you?” He made a face and Mallory laughed.
Sam was her world, even sick, he made her world seem right.
“Ha Ha Ha. I think you are the little monster around here.” She tickled him just to hear him giggle.
“I don’t feel good mommy. I think I need a doctor.” He whimpered and climbed into her lap.
“I know baby. We are going to see your daddy. Nick said he would know the best doctor and he will keep us safe from that crazy boss of mine.” She hadn’t told him much about what had happened, but she’d told him enough. She had to after their house was burned. It had broken her heart to have to tell him all of his things were gone, but she never lied to him.
“Will you tell me about him?”
Mallory knew the sound of her baby getting sleepy, so she snuggled him close and kissed his head. “He has dark hair and green eyes, just like you and he laughs like you too, great big like he wants the whole world to hear it. He has big arms that make everything seem like it will always be ok. He smells like the forest after a long rain, earthy and wild…”
“And his name is Dice, like the dog we had that ran away.” Sam said sleepily.
“His real name is Samuel, like you, but his friends call him Dice. He has a hard job that makes him sad sometimes, but he does it so people can be safe. He’s sort of like a soldier, in a way. He’s a good man.” Mallory was struggling. He heart was breaking because what she said was all true and she loved Dice almost as much as she loved the little boy in her arms.
“Why didn’t he want us then?”
Sam asked that question. He knew the answer, but he asked it anyway. He didn’t understand how much it tore at her to answer it.
“He would want you if he knew about you. It wasn’t his choice to send me away. I left, we decided that I needed to finish school I tried to call, but I couldn’t get through, I guess it just didn’t work out. Sometimes we have to make hard choices. Sometimes when we are young and think we are in love, we have to leave and get things in order before it’s right to be together.”
“It will never be best for me for you to leave me mommy.” Sam said and squeezed her tighter.
“There is nothing in this world that could ever make me leave you sweet boy, nothing.”
Sam fell asleep in her arms and Mallory settled on the soft bed with him. His fever was still high, but nothing seemed to help. His chest vibrated with strange sounds as he slept.
Tears leaked down her face. She knew she couldn’t do this on her own. Sam needed Dice, he needed a father to help him with whatever was going on. Mallory had been a selfish coward too long. It was time to face Dice. It was time to face whatever life he’d made for himself. It was time to admit she’d made a mistake. It was time to do what she should have done five years ago.
Nothing mattered anymore, nothing but Sam. She’d given up her friends and her family who hadn’t approved of her having a baby without a husband and a rich one at that. She had refused to destroy the only piece of Dice she’d been allowed to keep. She had finished school and moved away from the city. Nancy had been the only friend who’d stood by her, but she was enough. Mallory had been content with a friend and a son, until her boss had to go psycho on her.
She ran her hand over Sam’s warm brow. “There is nothing you will ever do that will make me stop loving you. No matter what.”
It was a vow, but she couldn’t imagine a life without her baby. How had her own parents given her up so easily?
She looked around the hotel room. She didn’t know what she would do if Dice turned her away. She had savings and knew better than to use credit cards. Her cash wouldn’t last forever and it would take time to find a job. What if Sam needed a doctor.
She shook her head. She wouldn’t worry herself to death over it. She would find a way, she had to.
Something occurred to her in those moments as she sat there and held her sick child. She was glad her family had abandoned her. She was glad Sam didn’t have to grow up around those who valued money and society standards over the love of a child. She had been happier since she’d left them than she’d been in her whole life. Dice had taught her to love the way it was meant to be done. He’d shown her that love was boundless and without fear.
Why had she ever left him?
5
Dice was restless. Something was making his wolf crazier than normal and he worried that the day had finally come when River would have to take him down.
He couldn’t concentrate on the bike that sat on the rack in front of him. He had to get his head out of his ass and do his damned job. He needed to be valuable and right now the only thing he did well was fix bikes and drink beer.
“Hey Dice? Mind coming out front for a sec, need you to see something.” Pie had a laugh in his voice, but Dice wasn’t in the mood for his shit.
“Fuck off Pie.” his chest vibrated with a snarl that he couldn’t hold back.
“No, you need to get out here.”
Dice looked up. The usually happy Pie was pale and looked like he was about to throw up. Dice tossed his wrench back into the toolbox and stomped toward the door that led to the front of the bike shop. There were posters and accessories sold up front, along with shirts and Howlers gear. Tourist loved that shit. They bought the shirts and wore them back home to look like badasses. Dice rolled his eyes. Humans were fucked up.
The coppery scent of blood hit his nose before he heard snarls and River’s pissed off voice. Pressure settled on his chest making it almost impossible to breathe.
“You crazy little shit. Calm the fuck down right now!”
“Don’t you dare hurt him!”
Dice froze. That voice ran through him like an electric current. His wolf calmed and it seemed like time slowed down. The madness that had almost overtaken him for the last five years was quiet.
“I need to se
e Dice. I don’t know what you think you’re doing anyway.” She was angry, but there was something else, fear.
“I’m saving your damned life your crazy bitch. Do you not see what he did to you?” River snarled.
“I’ll do worse to you if you hurt him. Will somebody please tell me what the fuck just happened to my son?”
Dice slowly stepped to the door and looked at the scene that was taking place in the showroom. Mallory stood behind River, she had blood dripping from her fingers, but she wasn’t backing down. There was a wolf pup on the counter with blood dripping from his teeth. He was a beast and smelled sick, the kind of sick that didn’t get better. River was trying to get him under control and deal with one pissed off woman at the same time.
The whole scene struck Dice as funny as hell.
“Anything I can do to help out here?” Dice said as calmly as he could while leaning against the door frame.
“Oh, thank God! Dice…” Mallory seemed to lose her words when she motioned toward the snapping pup. “Meet Sam, he’s your son and… Please help. I’m freaking out here! What… I don’t know what just happened.”
His son. Dice looked at the little wolf and his lips curled into a smile. “My son. Holy fucking shit! Look at him! He’s a hell raiser! Holy shit Line, you see this? My kid is a badass.” His grin grew. “Was there ever a doubt?”
“Good God, the crazy fucker is proud of him.” Came a laugh from behind River, but Dice didn’t care what Ricky thought. He didn’t care what anyone thought, he had a son and he was fucking beautiful.
“Damn right I’m proud of him. Look at him about to kick Riv’s ass. I think I’m getting choked up. You can kick his ass son, just like your old man.”
The room fell quiet, even Sam tilted his head and looked at Dice like he’d lost his mind.
“Can’t go around bitin’ your mama though.” Dice shook his head. “I’ll beat your ass for that shit. We gotta take care of mama, she’s…” He looked up at the woman who had haunted his dreams for five years. “She’s everything.” He breathed.
Mallory choked on a sob and Dice opened his arms. “Welcome home mama.” It only took her a second to run to him. He held her as if she would disappear if he let her go. He kissed her head and let out a breath. Sam was watching them, but he’d calmed.
“Can I see my kid now hell raiser?” He met the pup’s eyes. “Change.”
Sam writhed on the counter, his bones popped and his body reformed into a little boy that looked just like Dice.
Mallory was shaking as she sobbed. “What is happening to him?”
Dice held her tighter and kissed her head again. “It’s ok mama. He’s just like me. We can talk about it later.”
“Holy shit. Can’t deny that one Dice.” Clothesline shook his head. They were all more than a little stunned. This wasn’t supposed to be possible. Mallory was a human and humans only had hybrid children, they didn’t shift and they were always female or so they’d thought.
“Hey there kid.” Pie said and tugged a t-shirt over Sam’s head.
“Hello.” Sam’s voice was weak and he shivered from fever.
Dice could smell the Sickness from where he stood. He looked up at River and saw the same awareness there. Sam was sick and it wasn’t a kind of sick wolves recovered from. It was an illness that had plagued their kind for centuries and one there was no cure for. Sam was dying and it was all because Dice was his father.
“Hey there little guy. I’m Dice. I’m your dad.” He ran his big hand over Sam’s damp hair.
“Nice to meet you sir.” Sam said just before he collapsed. His body shook with the seizure that contorted his tiny body. Mallory rushed to his side and tried to comfort him, but there was nothing that could be done. Dice held the boy in his arms until the seizing stopped.
“Come on Mal. Let’s get him home so he can rest.”
“What do you mean? Do you know what to do for him? Can you do something to make him feel better? What is happening? Nick said you could help him.”
Dice knew the moment she saw the truth in his eyes. She shook her head in denial as her face crumpled in agony.
“You have to fix this Dice. He’s all I have. He’s my baby. Nick said you would know what to do.”
“Nick who?” He frowned.
“Nick Carver, he was the security guard where I worked. My boss attacked me, said something about wolves and hyenas… that sort of makes more sense now cause I assume the wolf thing is your fault… My boss attacked me and Nick saved me and he’s watching over my friend for a while… He told me to call you. He said you’d know what to do.”
“Nick Carver?” Dice said and looked to where Books stood.
“Bear. Good guy.” Books said around a bite of the sub sandwich he was eating. “Looks after people he thinks needs looking after, rogue, but a good one. Sounds like he’s been looking after your mate… may be a favor owed there.”
Dice nodded. “I’ll reach out.” Then his eyes landed on River. “Hyenas attacked my mate. Needs seeing to boss man or do we disagree?”
River nodded and stepped up to where they stood. Mallory bristled, but she didn’t push him away when he pressed his forehead to Sam’s. “Welcome to the pack little hell raiser. We are proud to have you, blessed beyond imagining that you are with us and we will protect you as long as our bonds hold strong and our hearts still beat.” His voice broke.
River was strong, probably the strongest of them all, but this broke even him. It was unfair, but it was the curse that they’d all lived with. They had all lost someone to the Sickness, no one survived it, no one except Dice.
“Please, tell me there is something that can be done, anything, I’ll do anything.” Mallory begged.
Dice felt sick. He knew he would need to call Lucian, he knew he would beg the monster if he had to, but how would he live with himself?
“I will make a few calls, see what I can find out, but don’t get your hopes up. This isn’t an illness that is new to us.” River took Mallory’s hands in his and pressed his forehead to hers. “I am so sorry. If I could give my life for his, I would. Know that.” He wrapped a cloth around her hand to stop the bleeding. “Know that.”
Dice carried his little son out into the coolness of a beautiful spring day. His heart broke in his chest and even his wolf seemed to mourn, but they wouldn’t give up on Sam. He was half human and while some would believe that made him weak, Dice was determined to believe that it would help Sam make it through this. It had to.
Dice couldn’t lose his son.
6
Mallory sat in the darkness and watched over her Sam. He was bathed in the silvery light of the moon and almost looked otherworldly, but he wasn’t. Anger flooded her at the thought. He was her little boy and she wouldn’t let him go, it didn’t matter what she had to do, she would find a way to save him. There had to be a way.
She heard the low snarl that rumbled from his chest and tried not to feel hatred for the animal that shared his body, but she did. She hated that part of him, the part that harbored a monster, the monster that was ravaging his little body with sickness, a sickness there was no cure for. Dice had explained it to her and for the first time since she’d met Dice she wished he wasn’t Sam’s father. Her parents had told her there would be a price for what she had done and sadly they had been right.
She felt him before she saw him. Dice slid his hand over her shoulder and tried to rub out the tightness there.
“Come to bed Mal. He will be fine for the night.”
But how could she leave when she had so little time left? How could she take her eyes away from Sam’s little face, even for a moment? She shrugged Dice’s hand off.
“I can’t.” She felt the tears clog her throat again, but she fought them back. She’d cried for three days. She was finished crying. Now she needed to be strong.
“We aren’t giving up hope Mal. I swear to you.” Dice vowed. He knelt beside her and forced her to meet his eyes. “He can fight it.”
He looked away. “I did. I fought it, that’s why I’m so fucked up. It’s why my wolf it such a mess. It’s probably why Sam has it now, but I fought it.”
“How?” Mallory couldn’t believe he’d kept this from her. How did you do it? Why didn’t you tell me?”
He shook his head. “Nobody knows Mal.”
“How?” She demanded.
“I don’t know. I don’t know!” He stood and paced away. “I’ve been trying to remember. I can’t. It’s not there Mal. I remember the pain and my wolf eating me alive from the inside out, but I swear, I think I died. I don’t remember anything for eight years, only flashes of memories, nothing real. I lost eight years Mal and when I did wake up I was insane. I was as wild as my wolf and my family was gone. I was only fourteen years old and I was alone in the world. I was lost in the forest and I almost died.”
“What happened?” Goosebumps rose along her arms. She had a feeling she didn’t want to know.
“I was in a cage.” Dice wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as if the words left a foul taste in his mouth. “I was in a fucking cage like an animal in one of those shitty zoos you see everyone protesting. I never saw anyone. My food was slid under the bars on one side, where the wall was solid. Water too. There was a toilet and a hose, that was it, but I didn’t need them, because my wolf had control and I was dead.”
“Oh God, no.” Mallory felt her stomach turn. “How can we let that happen to Sam? He’s so sweet and so gentle.”
“Sometimes they would shoot me with these little darts and when I’d wake up I’d have a new scar of a bruise from a needle. Sometimes they’d shave my head. I stayed there for eight years Mal. I was fourteen when I escaped, but I didn’t know how to live and I almost died more times than I care to think about. I found River when I was fifteen. He kicked my ass, but when it was done, he cleaned me up and gave me some food. He offered me a place in his pack and I took it. It was just him and me back then, the rest came along later. We started the Howlers because we were tired of bad shit going on with no one to protect those who just wanted to live normal lives. We started it and we enforce the laws. River gave us all purpose. He showed us that we were good for something.
Dice: Howlers MC Page 3