“They’re the same girls I went to the mall with last weekend. Rebecca is Mr. Washington’s daughter. You know— the funeral director?” I whispered the last out of respect. I didn’t want to remind my mom about our recent sadness. “A couple of Rebecca’s friends are going, too.”
“Okay, but don’t stay out too late. With your dad working overtime, I don’t want to have to worry about both of you.”
“I won’t be late. Don’t worry, Mom.”
A car horn blared from the driveway, and my heart thumped into my throat.
“Oh, that’s them,” I squeaked and hoped my Mom didn’t pick up on my nerves.
I grabbed my hooded sweatshirt out of the closet, threw it on, and then put my jean jacket on over that. I yanked open the front door and was about to bolt outside when my mom said, “Do you have your keys?”
I smacked the front pocket of my jeans. “Yup.”
“Cell phone?”
I reached into the inner pocket of my jean jacket and felt the familiar rectangular shape. “Yup.”
“Do you need money?”
“Nope. Thanks.” I smiled. “I’ll see you later, Mom”
I bolted out the front door before she could ask me any more questions and slammed the door harder than I meant to. I heard her call, “Have a good time.”
Oh, I would. I would if Rebecca gave me another sign. One that I knew was real. Jessie’s dark blue Ford Focus idled in the driveway. I melted when I saw Rebecca’s bright smile in the front passenger seat. She had her hair pulled back into a ponytail, but flipped up with a barrette to keep it off her neck.
I opened the back door behind Rebecca, and as I got in, Natalie slid over behind Jessie. I shut the door quickly to keep out the cold.
Rebecca turned all the way around to face me. “Hey, Devon.”
“Hey.” I smiled back at her, but then I let my smile include Jessie and Natalie, too. “Thanks for picking me up.”
“It’s cool.” Jessie put the car in reverse. She backed the car out of the driveway and then headed down my street in the direction of Bruster Park.
I wasn’t sure what was going to happen that night, but I found out soon enough it involved some kind of light beer from Milwaukee because Jessie handed me a bottle from the front seat, and Natalie handed me an opener.
“Oh, okay.” I took both the beer and the opener. I wasn’t a beer drinker, but I was hanging out with Rebecca and her friends and whatever they did, I’d do.
Jessie looked at me for a second. “Just keep it down, so the cops won’t see.”
“Oh, yeah. Okay.” I popped the top and took a sip. Nope, I still didn’t like the taste. I’d probably nurse this one all night if I could get away with it.
The car got quiet at that point, and I sensed that maybe they weren’t sure what to talk to me about. I cleared my throat. “So, you guys had a game today, right?”
“Scrimmage,” Jessie said as if I should know the difference between a game and a scrimmage. Which, honestly, I should have known since I was a sports editor.
“What’s the difference?”
Natalie said, “A scrimmage doesn’t really count. Coach tries out all kinds of lineups to see which ones work best. But,” she clapped Jessie on the shoulder, “we won!”
Jessie punched the air with her beer. “That’s right! Get used to it.”
“We’re unstoppable,” Natalie added.
I decided to stay on the basketball topic. “Your first real game is Friday?”
“Yeah.” Jessie took a swig of beer. “The day after Thanksgiving.”
“I’ll have to check it out.” I probably said it with too much enthusiasm, but I was trying to make peace with Jessie.
Rebecca turned to face me. “We’re hosting the Grasse River Turkey Tournament, and we’re supposed to win the whole thing.”
“S’right.” Jessie saluted Rebecca with her beer. So much for keeping the beer out of sight from the cops.
“A tournament?” I asked. “How many teams?”
Natalie said, “Just four. Us included. It’s a preseason double-elimination tourney, and we play teams we won’t ever see again. These games’ll count in our overall record, but not in the St. Lawrence League. We should be,” she clapped Jessie on the shoulder again, “at least three and oh on Saturday.”
“Damn straight.” Another beer salute from Jessie. That rule about keeping the beer out of sight must have been for everybody else.
I felt stupid because I didn’t know a lot about sports, so right there in the backseat of Jessie’s car, I decided that I needed to become a major fan of every girls’ sports team at school and go to as many games as I could. I didn’t want Mrs. Gibson to think she’d made a mistake promoting me to girls’ sports editor. Friday night’s basketball game seemed like a good place to start. Oh yeah, Rebecca would be there, too.
The tires crunched the gravel as Jessie pulled into Bruster Park. She found an empty parking spot near the softball backstop. One time last summer when Mom, Dad, and I drove past Bruster, I saw a whole bunch of women in softball t-shirts hanging out in the parking lot. At the time, I thought those women could be like me. Some had short hair, and I remember wanting desperately to go back. I wasn’t into softball at all and couldn’t figure out how to get back to the field without raising suspicion. I didn’t have a driver’s license, so I couldn’t just borrow the car. I couldn’t ask my mom to drop me off because what was I going to say? “Mom, I want to go to Bruster Park, so I can check out some gay girls.” Yeah, right. I guess I could have asked Missy to drop me off, but I wasn’t ready to come out to her then, either. I could have jogged there, but Bruster was about five miles away from home and a ten-mile run wasn’t that appealing. The biggest thing stopping me, though, was that I didn’t know what I would do once I got there. I mean, there was no way I’d ever get up enough nerve to talk to anybody.
I heard myself sigh as if from another life and hoped nobody heard me because I didn’t want them to think I was nervous or anything.
Jessie turned off the engine and the heater went off with it. Even though the car was still nice and warm, the cold would seep in pretty quickly.
“Hey, Devon.” Jessie leaned back against the driver’s side door and faced me.
“Yeah?”
“How’s that beer going down?”
I had forgotten about it, actually. “Oh, good.” I tipped the bottle and took a sip.
“Cheers.” Natalie clinked her bottle against mine.
“Tchine!” I said back.
“À ta santé, aussi.” Rebecca said to Natalie and me in the backseat and tipped her bottle in salute.
“Toi aussi, à ta santé,” I said back at her. Good health was a nice toast to make.
“Oh, don’t start that French shit,” Jessie said. “You know I don’t understand it.”
“Me, neither,” Natalie added.
“Excuse-moi,” Rebecca said in French, but then laughed.
“Yeah, we’re sorry.” I suppressed a grin.
“Whatever,” Jessie said sounding dismissive. “I asked how you liked your beer because everybody has to chip in.”
I felt like such an idiot because I hadn’t offered to give her any money. “Oh, I’m sorry. Of course, I’ll chip in. How much?”
I reached into my back pocket knowing I only had the ten.
Hopefully, she’d have some change.
“Ten,” Jessie said with a definite challenge in her voice.
“Ten? For what?” I blurted before I could stop my mouth from engaging. That was my lunch money for the next week. “I don’t think—”
“You special or something?” Jessie interrupted. “We all pitched in ten bucks. You don’t think you have to put in the same?”
“Here.” I handed her the last of my money. What I was going to say was that I didn’t think I’d have more than one beer, but I decided to enjoy my ten dollar beer, so I wouldn’t appear confrontational in front of Rebecca, and I vowed for real t
hat this would be the absolute last time I would hang out with Jessie. Period. Even if it meant I couldn’t hang out with Rebecca anymore.
Jessie put my money in her pocket. “Everybody’s equal here,” she said in a matter-of-fact tone. I think she was trying to tell me that everything was going to work out between us as long as I understood that she was in charge.
I tried to keep my voice even as I responded, “Hey, no problem. I should have offered to pay my share right away.” Which was probably about fifty cents not ten freakin’ bucks! I shouted in my head.
Jessie saluted me with her beer and then drained it. She handed the empty bottle to Natalie who put it in a P&C grocery bag on the floor. Jessie popped open a new one and held it out toward me. “Ready for another?”
“No, I’m good.”
Natalie put her own empty bottle in the bag, and Jessie handed her a full one from the stash in the front seat.
Rebecca turned to me and asked, “So, how’s the newspaper going?”
Thank God somebody changed the subject. At least I had one ally in the car. “Great,” I said. “The field hockey team’s undefeated, and they’ll probably make it to states.”
“Just like we will.” Jessie clinked bottles with Natalie.
“Oh, yeah,” Natalie agreed. She turned to me. “Do you write all the articles?”
“Oh, God, no. I’m just the editor. I mean, I might write one or two, but I check all the articles for grammar, length, and content. I’m writing the winter sports previews, though, which includes your basketball team.” So you guys should treat me better!
Rebecca said, “Sounds like a lot of work.” She gulped down her last swig of beer and handed the empty bottle to Natalie. Jessie popped open another one for her in an instant. Rebecca smiled at Jessie and said, “Thanks,” which stabbed me right in the heart. I didn’t want Rebecca to smile at Jessie that way. Only me.
We spent the next hour or so talking about school and college plans. I got the distinct feeling that Natalie was Jessie’s number one fan because she agreed with everything Jessie said and was a master at stroking Jessie’s already over-inflated ego.
Jessie started up the car and put the heater back on. Thank God because my hands were starting to become icicles. I almost wished I’d worn a scarf and brought gloves, but no way was I going to look like a dork in front of Jessie.
I was amazed at how many beers Jessie, Natalie, and even Rebecca drank. I still had the first one Jessie gave me over an hour ago. Although I had managed to choke down about three-quarters of it, each swallow was a struggle.
Jessie was in the middle of about her nineteenth story about her basketball prowess when Rebecca announced, “I have to go to the bathroom.”
Jessie seemed annoyed at having her story interrupted and gestured toward the woods. “You know where to go, babe.” The irritation in her voice was clear.
“Come with me?” Rebecca pleaded.
“Nah. It’s too cold, and I’m not done with my beer.” Jessie turned up the car heater to full blast.
Rebecca turned to me with pleading eyes. I offered before I could stop myself. “I’ll go with you.”
“Okay.” She opened her door.
I didn’t dare look at Jessie because I was afraid she’d flash me one of those evil looks or something. I flung open the back door and jumped out of the car in a flash. I held onto my beer, so I could dump out the rest of it in the woods somewhere.
Rebecca said to Jessie, “We’ll be right back.”
As she shut the passenger door, Jessie barked, “Just hurry up.”
I got white hot angry with Jessie at that moment. I couldn’t believe how badly she treated Rebecca. If I were best friends with Rebecca, I’d never yell at her or brag about how great I was or steal ten dollars from her friends. I’d throw rose petals at her feet and go wherever she wanted to go.
“This way.” Rebecca beckoned and headed toward the stand of pine trees behind the softball field. “I hate coming out here in the dark by myself.”
I fell in step with her. “Yeah, it’s kind of creepy out here.” She picked her way down the trail as if she’d done it a few hundred times before.
“Thanks for coming with me.”
“No problem. I needed to walk around, anyway.” That was a big fat lie, but I had to say something, and I couldn’t tell her that I just wanted to be alone with her.
“Thanks.” She was about to say something else, but she stumbled on the pathway. “Whooey,” she laughed. “Some graceful dancer I am. Too many beers, I think.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Hey, stop here. I’m going over...” She swayed as she pointed farther up the path to a dark stand of trees. “...there. Just give me one little second while...you know.”
“Okay.” I turned away and moved behind some trees, so Jessie couldn’t see me from the car. I poured my flat beer out on one side of the path, but put the bottle in my coat pocket. Once we got back in the car, I’d throw the empty bottle into the bag at Natalie’s feet.
After a couple of minutes, Rebecca made her way back. When I heard her behind me, I turned. Good thing I did because she stumbled and fell against me. I caught her, so she wouldn’t fall.
“Whoops.” She leaned heavily on me. Her head came to rest against my shoulder but her arms hung loosely by her sides as if she didn’t want to go too far and actually hug me.
“Are you okay?” I had to put my arms around her waist, so we both wouldn’t fall. I leaned my head back to look at her face, but her eyes were closed. My heart was pounding so hard, I was sure she could hear it. “Rebecca?” I should have been ecstatic that I had her in my arms, but I was afraid she had passed out or something.
Her eyes opened up one at a time. She picked her head up off my shoulder, but she didn’t pull away. She flashed me that smile, the one that made me melt. She reached up and put the palm of her hand flat against my cheek. Her hand was cold, but it made me oh so warm. I couldn’t decipher the look in her eyes, but the sadness in them was unmistakable.
She said, “Tu es si belle, Devón. Si belle.”
I almost forgot to breathe. She thought I was beautiful. I swallowed hard and couldn’t think of a single thing to say. I wanted to kiss her so bad, and I would have if she hadn’t pulled way.
“C’mon,” she said. “Jessie the great is waiting.” She walked up the path in front of me, but I couldn’t get my feet to move. I was dizzy with confusion. What did it mean? Maybe Rebecca had just given me that sign I wanted. I tried to hide my returning perma-grin because I couldn’t get back in Jessie’s car with this smile plastered on my face. She’d know in a second.
I finally got my feet moving, but I stopped at the edge of the trees and watched as Rebecca got in the car. I took a few deep breaths and made my way toward them, but before I got to the lot, Jessie slammed the car into reverse and tore out of the parking spot.
“Wait! Jessie!” I yelled and ran toward the car, but as Jessie put the car in drive, she jabbed her finger at me and shook her head slowly as if to say there was no way I was getting back in her car. She gunned the engine causing gravel to fly everywhere. The car screamed out of the parking lot, and I stood helpless as it disappeared from view.
What just happened? Was this a joke? I had faith that Rebecca wouldn’t let Jessie leave me stranded in the cold, so I walked back to the edge of the parking lot and sat on the guardrail. When the cold started to penetrate my bones, I got seriously pissed. How could Rebecca let Jessie leave me stranded like that? Or maybe, and I could barely bring myself to think it, maybe Rebecca had a part in it.
I bolted off the guardrail feeling like an idiot for waiting. I threw the empty beer bottle from my pocket into the trash barrel and started the five-mile trek home in tight boots trying to figure out what had just happened.
Chapter Seven
Lone Wolf
FOR SOME STRANGE reason, I didn’t have any lunch money on Monday. Maybe because I had to pay ten bucks for one h
orrible beer on Saturday. I pulled out my ham sandwich and baby carrots and laid them on top of my brown paper bag. I couldn’t trade with Gail because she and Travis snuck off school property to go to Subway. I said, “No, thanks,” when Gail asked if I wanted to go with them. I told her I didn’t want to get in trouble, but I really just wanted to see Rebecca. On one hand, I was happy that we only had school on Monday and Tuesday that week because of Thanksgiving break, but on the other hand I wouldn’t be able to see Rebecca for two whole days until I saw her on Friday at the girls’ basketball game.
I sat alone at my cafeteria table trying to look comfortable by myself like a lone wolf or something, secure and confident with my solitary status. I’m not so sure I was pulling if off because I felt like a loser sitting there without friends. I snuck peeks at Rebecca every now and then, but couldn’t make eye contact with her. I was pretty sure she was avoiding me on purpose, even though we had already cleared up the misunderstanding about Bruster.
On Sunday morning, Rebecca texted me around 10:00 asking me to call her when I got a chance. I wanted to call her back right away, but decided to make her wait. Those five minutes were agony for me, but I finally relented and called her back. She apologized over and over for leaving me. I still had a heavy heart about what happened, but she reassured me she had no part in it. She thought I was with them when Jessie pulled out of Bruster. She told me she’d closed her eyes and fallen asleep as soon as she’d gotten in the car. She said she didn’t usually drink that much beer and felt kind of dizzy, so she had to close her eyes. She didn’t even wake up when Jessie dropped off Natalie. When she woke up later, as Jessie pulled back into Bruster, she was confused that Natalie and I were gone. Jessie told her she’d dropped us both off while Rebecca slept.
I took another bite of my sandwich and tried to spy on Rebecca at her table, but all I could see was Jessie’s back. Jessie hated me, I just knew it. I mean, the Bruster Park disaster was proof enough, but then it was written in stone after Rebecca told me what Jessie said.
“What did she say?” I had asked Rebecca on the phone on Sunday.
Quite an Undertaking: Devon's Story Page 7