“I started to seek out trouble, where before I was a model child. A-plus student, loved extracurricular activities, always helped out around the house. After the visit? I became bitter, battling my aunt and uncle at every turn. Refusing to call them Mom and Dad anymore, calling them by their names because claiming them as my aunt and uncle was just as bizarre and painful. By the time I hit high school I had already been pegged with some misdemeanors, I almost failed out of freshman year, and I had discovered the amazing drug called ecstasy.”
She wrapped her arms around her waist, hating this part. “When I was fifteen I went to a new club, used a fake ID I’d had for a while, not that the bouncer really gave a shit. Someone offered me a drink and when you’re on E, nothing is wrong with the world and nobody could do you wrong. Well…” She glanced up at them, straightening her spine and refusing to feel guilt or embarrassment over this. “To spare you the gory details I was found the next morning, naked and close to OD-ing in the alley next to the club.”
“Shit, sweetheart.” The men advanced on her and she held her hands up, warding them away.
“Please let me finish.” No, she couldn’t do it. They didn’t need all of it. They would never want her if they knew it all. “You can’t touch me till I get this out.” It took a few seconds of deliberation but eventually they both nodded.
“This is where the crazy part comes in. They made me drop out of high school so that they could hide me away like some shameful criminal. For months, I don’t think I left the house for anything other than therapy…which was administered by some new-age cult shaman. They were so ashamed of me they barely spoke more than a sentence to me each day, and when they did it was to say how the New God would guide me to the light. I felt like I was in prison…or hell.” She self-consciously slipped her hand underneath her hair and touched the scarring on her right ear. The skin was rough and jagged and she didn’t think she would ever be used to the feeling. There was so much more, but she couldn’t tell them. Out of everything she’d done, it was her greatest shame.
She noticed the men shifting, like they wanted to come and comfort her. She couldn’t handle it. So she forged on. “After that it was downhill from there. More drugs, more drinks, more sex. I eventually became a heroin addict and my aunt and uncle couldn’t deal with me anymore, so they sent me back to my biological parents who had moved up to New York City here at that point. Well…I wasn’t really with them. They set me up in an apartment with a guardian. Like they couldn’t even stand to be around me. It was bizarre. Only a couple months went by till the incident at McNally’s.”
“What happened to you after that night?” Alexis asked, the beer in his hand all but forgotten.
“My real folks paid for this special kind of community-living rehab. I was in a facility, very nice place, for close to three years. Tried to kill myself once, almost hilariously unsuccessfully. Then they set me up with this particular psychiatrist who didn’t treat me like I was some waste of air or glass figurine. He listened. He asked me questions and he made me think about the things that had happened and he told me the club wasn’t my fault and finally, after a really long time, I believed him. When I got out of rehab my real folks bought me a small apartment, no guardian this time, and set me up with some money. Then they told me to never contact them or my aunt and uncle again.”
Dual cursing from the guys and she smiled in appreciation for their outrage, pressing on with her story.
“Being away from the rehab center was hard so I started to volunteer, not really needing money at that point. I took some art classes and realized that I liked to sketch and paint and I saw an ad for a tattoo apprentice and thought how much I like tattoos and maybe I could do that. Things got better. A lot better.”
She faced them. “So that’s me and my sordid history in a nutshell,” Bleu said, waiting for a response but only receiving stunned and angry silences on her behalf. “Can we eat now? You can ask me questions over food if you want.”
They moved to sit around the picnic table and Alexis dished the food onto paper plates. An assortment of barbeque-slathered ribs and steak along with a side of coleslaw, corn fritters, refried beans, and of course buttery, flaky biscuits. “Oh man.” Bleu moaned as the meat on the ribs melted in her mouth. “Oh man! These ribs are so good they’re disgusting.” Alexis placed a perspiring glass of sweet tea in front of her.
“Thanks. Not to brag but I make my own barbeque sauce.” Colton and Bleu exchanged smirks at his smug tone. “Just sayin’.”
They grinned and ate in a companionable silence. It wasn’t long before Colton put his utensils down, took a few swigs of his fourth beer, having gone through a few, along with Alexis, during the speech and dinner, and turned to Bleu. She couldn’t read his expression but she thought a speech about pity was coming and braced herself for the reaction she was used to getting but hated all the same.
“Bleu, I’m sick that all that crap happened to you. But I have to tell you, after hearing everything you went through, and knowing what an amazing, kind and beautiful person you are today?” He took her hand in his and a surprising grin lit his face. “It makes me feel like the shittiest, most inferior little bug in the world.”
“Ha!” Alex barked. “I know. I feel like I will never be worthy enough to be her friend.”
She grinned at their banter, but most of all in relief that her wild ways as a teenager didn’t turn them off, make them think less of her. It was one thing to tell them she was a recovered drug addict, it was another to give them the details of all the careless and shitty things she had done—almost all the things anyway. They still accepted her, still liked her. Perhaps hoping for more wasn’t so out-of-this-world impossible, even if it was unusual.
“Maybe you could be something other than my friend,” she joked back, but not really joking. She cringed at what a cheesy come-on it was but had no clue how to get this ball rolling.
“What’s that?” Alex asked, pushing his plate away and resting his fit arms on the table.
“Hmm…how about my sex slave?” All movement at the table stopped, along with her heart. “Whoa, guys, chill. I was joking.” Too far, too fast apparently. She shoved a biscuit into her mouth to keep herself from saying anything else ridiculous.
“Maybe I don’t want you to be joking,” Alexis said quietly, not looking away from her no matter how uncomfortable it made her.
“Yeah, OK,” she replied, shoving another mouthful of biscuit in.
Colton put his utensils down and gently tilted her head toward him by exerting a little pressure under her chin. “Swallow.” He instructed softly. She did.
“Maybe I agree with Alexis.” His thumb reached up and rubbed her bottom lip for half a second that felt like an eternity. She didn’t want him to stop.
“Who wants seconds?” Colton asked, abruptly standing up and walking back toward the grill, the turn in conversation giving her whiplash.
“You’re not touching my grill.” Alexis followed Colt, shoving him playfully out of the way before he could reach for the tongs.
“What? I can grill. I’m actually pretty good. It’s one of the few things I can do with food besides eat it.”
“Not on my grill, man.”
The banter continued as they worked together to add a few ribs to the pile even though a large pile of ribs stared her right in the face on the serving plate in the middle of the table. They were either avoiding the topic or avoiding her. She looked over at the men as they sipped from their beers and continued to shove and play-punch each other, ribbing one another about stupid shit like their inferior grilling skills. Every now and then Alexis would need to reach across Colt for some grilling utensil or Colt would go to grab another beer and they would put a hand on a shoulder or waist for stability. Without fail, every time, that hand would linger just a tad second longer than what was socially acceptable between straight male friends.
As they completed displaying their manly grilling skills and sat back down at the
table, Bleu renewed her determination with a bite of the crunchy corn fritters and a swig of her sweet tea. This wasn’t over and the boys were just enough beers in to get this party started.
“OK, boys, we’ve somehow avoided this topic up to this point but I have to know. First times. Who, where, and how good?”
Colton groaned. “You know we could keep avoiding it and I would be OK with that.”
“Nope.” She laughed at the sweet blush staining his cheeks. “My curiosity must be satisfied. Alex, you first.”
“Fine. Fine. I was 18, living with my cousins at that point, and just starting to gain some confidence. I was also gaining height and muscle. Well, Missy Parker from two doors down took notice and we went on a few dates. When I told her I was a virgin she didn’t believe me. Once I convinced her that I knew next to nothing about the female body she was all too happy to give me lessons…in the back of her stoner van.” He laughed at himself and the glow from the pit fire made him look like the Prince Charming from her deepest fantasies. “I think I lasted two minutes that first time, but it got better. Colt?” He tipped his beer in Colton’s direction. “What cute thing did you seduce with those eyes?”
“For real.” Bleu grasped his hand and squeezed, noticing some of the color leach out of his cheeks. “No girl can resist those eyes of yours. I speak from experience.”
“Uh,” he mumbled around a mouth full of ribs.
“C’mon, it can’t be worse than my two minutes in heaven with Missy.” Alex grinned at her with a wink.
“I can’t believe your first time was with someone named Missy.” Bleu laughed, keeping up the positive attitude.
Colt’s eyes met Alex’s for a moment, seeming to take stock of the man. After a tense few seconds, he took the plunge. “My first time was with David Partrowski.”
“David?” she repeated dumbly. That was a boy’s name. Holy shit that was a boy’s name.
“Are you gay, man?” Alex asked, sitting up straight. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Because my second time was with Donna Corvin. I’m bisexual.” He paused for a moment, looking between them, gauging their reactions, then seemed to come to some sort of decision and took another large bite off his ribs.
Bleu thought her heart was going to leap out of her chest and begin to do somersaults on the massive plate of ribs in the middle of the table. Her suspicions of Colt’s non-platonic interest in Alex weren’t unfounded. After seeing that they weren’t jumping away from him and wielding crosses, Colt continued with a sad smile on his handsome face. “You’re the first people who live in my hometown that I’ve told. Ever.”
“Your folks?” Alex asked, brow furrowed in an expression Bleu couldn’t define.
“My dad is an ex-cop.” His laugh was devoid of humor. “You know how that will play out.”
“I think you’re making a really big assumption about your parents, Colt. You should tell them,” Bleu said, squeezing his hand once more before releasing him.
“Talking about it and actually doing it are two very very different things.” He shook his head, looking over at Bleu with that heartbreaking smile. She wanted to kiss his worries away. “They’re not ready. I’m not ready.”
Alexis leaned forward and clapped his hand on Colton’s shoulder in a non-sexy, platonic male sign of solidarity. “We’re here for you when you’re ready, man.” But then there it was again, the lingering hand. Maybe it wasn’t such a platonic gesture after all.
“Thanks.” Colton gripped his hand in gratitude, rubbing his thumb back and forth over the back before letting it go. Alexis looked as though he’d been electrocuted, his jaw tensing and breath speeding up. He was clearly confused about what he felt for Colt, but he wasn’t averse to it. She could work with this.
“So between the two of us who do you find more attractive? Is there a sex you gravitate more toward?” Bleu asked, stirring the pot without regret this time.
“No, I like sex with men and women just as much. I’ve never had a long-term relationship with either though.” He leaned forward, scant inches from Bleu’s lips. “And I find you both insanely attractive.” Her pulse sped up as his eyes lingered on her lips before pulling back. She wanted to curse, run her fingers through his hair, and pull his beautiful lips down to hers.
“Both of us?” Alex asked, pulling Bleu from her fantasy.
Colt looked right at Alex and Bleu felt the hair on her arms stand on end from the sexual tension bouncing between the two. “Both.”
“So do I,” Bleu chirped in, figuring she may as well lay it all on the line. “I think you’re both crazy sexy.”
“You do?” the men chimed, looking at her with increasing intensity.
“Yeah. I—”
“What?” Colt asked, leaning toward her once more.
“Sometimes I just want to—”
“Want to want?”
She looked toward Alex at his question.
Bleu couldn’t help herself anymore. She needed to touch them and she knew she was the connection bridging the gap between these two. When Colton had looked Alex dead in the eyes and told him he was attracted to the sexy man, Alex hadn’t hedged. He didn’t back away or make some stupid joke. He stayed. He’d probably stay for more. He just needed coaxing.
Taking a deep breath, she pushed off her chair and straddled Alex in his.
“Bleu?” She ran her hands around the sculpted beauty of his face. Her fingernails caught and dragged on his heavier-than-usual stubble. He was stunning. Rugged and hard in every way she loved in a man, but with a goodness of heart for balance. But she wasn’t interested in his heart at this very moment. She was keener to discover and learn about the long and tensile hardness beneath her thighs.
She ground her hips against Alex’s jean-covered cock and his breath hitched. “Do you like to see this, Colt?” She turned to him, not wanting to exclude him but knowing the first touch needed to go to Alex.
Colton’s legs were spread and he had his left hand on his cock over his jeans. It looked as though he was squeezing it.
“I like watching you two, no matter what you’re doing.” He panted, rubbing the stiff line.
“But do you like seeing me grind myself against Alex?” She did it again, turning back to Alexis. “Touch me, Alex, please.” Alex moved his hands from the tight grips on the arms of his chair to Bleu’s hips. His first touch was tentative, but as she brought her lips to his ear and tugged on it with her teeth, he gripped her tight.
“Alex,” she whispered, trailing her lips from his ear to his masculine mouth. The kiss was pure fire. His strong lips injected a high far purer than anything she had ever shot up with. His hands trailed lava as he skimmed them on her back and underneath her shirt. He began to lift his hips in time with her thrusts. Fuck she wished there was nothing between them. His tongue skimmed along her bottom lip and the sensual shock of his teeth tugging at it was unbearable. She moaned and pulled back.
Bleu faced Colton with her arm stretched out but continued to grind on Alex. Colton stepped toward her with confidence and took her mouth in a claiming that stated in no uncertain terms she was his at that perfect moment in time. His kiss demanded more from her than Alex’s. His lips were no softer and he didn’t taste any sweeter but there was a significant difference in the dominance he exerted on her.
His hand fisted the base of her braid and pulled her head back, angling her in the way that he wanted. He began with sipping kisses, teasing her to the point of begging. She wanted more. She needed his tongue. She let her own tongue flick out over his lips and his dominant control broke.
He moaned and attacked her mouth like a starving man. His tongue thrust inside her, simulating what it would be like if it were his cock in her pussy, thrusting in and out. “Oh, fuck,” she cried when he lifted his head for a breather.
“Oh fuck,” they heard and both turned back to Alex. His mouth was hanging open, hands still firmly planted on Bleu’s hips. “I didn’t…I don’t know.”
<
br /> “Do you like watching us?” Bleu whispered, kissing Alex once more. A quick but hard touch of lips.
“Yes.”
“Do you like watching Colt take what he wants from me?”
“Fuck, yes.”
“Do you want to see more?” Colt asked before reaching toward Alex and carding his fingers through his hair. “Or would you like me to take what I want from you, too?”
“I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what I want.” Alex panted, digging his hands into Bleu’s hips. “All I know is I’ve been dreaming and fantasizing about both of you and me together. Fucking each other. I want you both I just don’t know what to do with that. I—” Alex stopped talking when he looked up and saw Colton no more than an inch from his face.
“Let me, Alex, please,” Colt whispered, nearing his lips.
* * * *
Colton wanted to ravage Alex. There was no other word for it. He wanted to make the man moan and scream his name in agony at how amazing and equally unbearable the pleasure would be. Taking Bleu’s mouth had been heaven on earth. But watching her and Alexis together had been a different kind of heaven all together. And even though Alexis was staring at his lips like he wanted to devour them, even though his chest was heaving like a bellows with his rapid breath, even though he was leaning toward Colton in a non-vocal answer of yes, Colton knew he couldn’t take advantage of it.
He held himself back because if there was something every man or woman learned during their first sexual encounter, it was that it made a lasting impression. He didn’t want Alex’s first time with a man to be rushed or sloppy. He needed to take care with the man, no matter how strong the man himself may be. Alexis was Colton’s friend first.
A Different Kind of Perfect (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 10