“What is wrong with you?” she hissed back, shocked at his blatant disrespect. “The man assaulted you and put a gun to my head and you don’t want to file a report so the police can catch him? What, you’re embarrassed you got punched?”
“That’s not it. If that guy had attacked me before…” He pulled himself away, not accepting her comfort as she reached for him, which confounded her even more.
“Before what?” she asked in a whisper.
At least he had the grace to look somewhat guilty as he said, “Things are different now that we’re all together, Bleu. I can’t tell those men that you and Alex and I are lovers. I know them. They know my dad. It will get back to him.”
Her mouth hung open in disgusted shock before replying. “Oh. So you don’t want to file a report about the man who held me at gunpoint and assaulted you because you’re embarrassed of the relationship you have with Alex and I?”
“No, damn it.”
“That is what you’re saying.”
“No it’s not. I’m just not ready to tell him yet.”
“So Alex and I are just supposed to hide who we really are, hide our love for you, while we wait for you to grow a pair of balls?” He looked like she’d slapped him, but she was just as hurt and just as angry. She couldn’t force herself to stop. “It took me a very long time to accept my past and who it has made me today, Colt. I cannot pretend to be something I’m not. I won’t.”
“Baby—”
“You don’t get to call me that right now,” she said quietly, attempting to keep the tsunami of emotions from overflowing, making her gut churn. “I am so mad at you it feels like my heart is being ripped from my chest. I don’t want to feel like this. Do you feel like this every day? Is this what hiding who you are from your loved ones is like? If I had a family that loved me as much as your mom and dad do, I would be tripping over myself to give my whole heart to them. You’re shortchanging yourself from the happiness you could have. And you’re making assumptions about your folks, as I have said from the fucking beginning.”
He shook his head, his voice lacking any amount of conviction. “You don’t know my dad.”
“No, you’ll never know your dad until you let him know you.” She couldn’t stand to look at him a second longer and moved away to find a policeman to give her statement to.
Even though she was pissed and hurt, Bleu lied to the officers and told them that she and Colt were just friends, along with Alex. But she also didn’t talk to him the rest of the evening.
* * * *
By the time Alexis waved the policemen off with a thank-you and locked the doors to the diner, he thought it best to give the staff a day off to decompress. It was only the three of them left now. The snow seemed to have calmed to a gentle flurry, no more giant gusts of wind to drive cars off the road. It was almost peaceful. Or it would have been if Alexis didn’t have the image of a gun pointed at his lover’s head flickering endlessly in his mind.
Alexis felt a gentle touch on his back. He turned to face Bleu and pulled her into a tight hug. The fear he felt upon seeing a gun pointing at his girl had assaulted his body like a bolt of lightning and had yet to abate. Only now it felt more like the familiar boiling pot of rage he’d kept inside him from all those years of pain his father caused. Alexis would go to hell and back to keep his lovers safe.
“I was so scared for you, baby,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head. Colton was keeping his distance, sitting over at the coffee counter and holding an icepack to the swollen right side of his face. He knew Colton felt guilty for expecting them to lie about their relationship. He probably expected Alexis and Bleu to lash out at him for it, to punish him. The worst punishment Colton would ever receive would be to continue the facade he donned whenever he wasn’t in their company. He couldn’t imagine how taxing on his psyche it must be to keep that secret for so long.
“I’m cool. You’re cool.” She shrugged, pulling from his arms with a grim smile. Framing his face with her delicate hands she pulled him down for a sweet and sad kiss. Her lips felt cold and clammy. He worried she may be going into shock. “Let’s go back home,” she said.
“I’m gonna head home, guys.” Alexis knew Colt didn’t mean his house. It would be the first night in weeks that he hadn’t been with them. They looked over to Colton, who had donned his winter gear and made his way toward the door. His eyes were strangely glassy, almost empty. Alexis couldn’t reconcile this shaken man with the jovial Colton he knew on a normal day.
“No, Colt, I want you to stay with us.” Alexis reached out his hand, welcoming him into their arms. Bleu stiffened. OK, maybe not so welcome then.
“Nah, I’m not gonna sleep anyway. I should try to get some work done while I can.” He came closer and kissed Alexis good-bye. With a smile toward Bleu that she didn’t return, he kissed her temple and headed off into the snowy night to make the hour-long drive back to his place. Bleu and Alexis watched the entire time without saying a word. It felt like years since they had watched him drive off to his editors’ meeting, but it had only been hours.
“Baby,” he finally said, framing her petite face in his hands. “Don’t be mad at him.”
“Why shouldn’t I be mad at someone who is ashamed of us?” Bleu pulled away, grabbing her purse and coat. “He’s supposed to love us for who we are and not make excuses for us. Why is telling the truth so hard for him? What’s he afraid of?”
“Oh ya know, being disowned by the father who sacrificed his health and career for the two people he is now deeply involved with?” She stood frozen by Alexis’s words, her anger visibly deflating as the implications and true meaning of that statement clicked inside her mind.
“Fuck,” she groaned. “This is so complicated. How could I not have thought of that? Not only is his dad his hero, you and I owe him our lives.” She stepped toward him and leaned her forehead on his chest.
“It was always going to be complicated. It’s just a tad more so for us because we’re so fucking special.” He lifted her head to kiss her when a movement from the direction of the kitchen caught his eye. His heart stopped. Everyone was supposed to be gone.
“You’re not that special.” They turned to see the would-be burglar from earlier holding another gun, standing behind the coffee counter. His face was so twisted he was barely recognizable. He’d shed all his winter layers to reveal that he indeed wasn’t an old man. Just a young guy, couldn’t be more than thirty-five, who was strung out and at the end of his rope.
“So, you guys got a freaky threesome going, huh?” He stormed around the counter and pressed the gun against Alexis’s temple. He wanted to push Bleu out of the way, tell her to run, but he feared any sudden movements would be the choice that ended them both.
“You gonna give me that money now, motherfucker?”
“How did you get back in—”
“Shut up. Shut the fuck up, and we’re gonna take a little walk.” He looked to Bleu, keeping the gun against Alexis’s temple. “C’mere, sweetheart. You’re gonna walk in front of your man, here. We’re all gonna slowly walk to where the safe is.” They walked, as slowly as he said, into the kitchen. The burglar ordered Bleu to open the office door, which she did, with frequent worried looks in Alexis’s direction.
“Do you know the combination?” he asked Bleu. When she shook her head, he nodded. In a move, again, that no older man could have ever executed, he shoved Alexis into the office and slammed the butt of the gun into Bleu’s head. She collapsed to the floor. Before Alexis could scream her name, the gun was again pointed his way.
“Now open the safe…or I’ll shoot her in the head.”
* * * *
Colt felt like three-week-old dog shit stuck to the bottom of a boot in ninety-degree weather. His guilt for not owning up to his ménage relationship to those cops just added onto all the other white lies he’d told his family these past few months. He felt sick.
What kind of man was he that he kept his true self in the d
ark? What kind of man would hide the two people he loved and cherished most in the world? Every time he looked either Bleu or Alexis in the eyes, he knew they were it for him. The end all be all to love and happiness. How could he give them up to appease his father and appear normal?
But at the same time, how could he disappoint or potentially give up his father? The very man who saved both their lives. If it hadn’t been for him that night, Alexis and Bleu would probably be dead and he would still be hovering in purgatory, waiting for that perfect someone, be it man or woman, to make him happy. Never knowing he needed both to achieve that happiness. His family or the loves of his life. Who could make a choice like that?
His thoughts and careful driving were interrupted by the shrill chirping of his cell phone. The call came through the speaker of his car and he considered sending it to voicemail. The second he saw it was an unknown number he decided to hell with it and picked up.
“Hello?”
“Hi, there,” said a Southern male voice he didn’t recognize. “Is this Colton or Alexis?”
“This is Colton, who is this?”
“My name’s Amedee Leroux. Bleu gave me this number to call in case I couldn’t get in touch with her.”
“Right…you’re Bleu’s brother. It’s late, Amedee, she’s probably in the shower or sleeping.”
“Well she texted me sayin’ what happened tonight and I wanted to check up on her. Her phone isn’t picking up. Is she with you? Can I talk to her?”
“Thanks for your concern, but no she isn’t with me. She and Alex are still at the diner.”
“Yeah, see I called her number and the other number she gave me, which must be Alexis’s, and then I even called the diner, which I looked up online. None of those numbers are pickin’ up. I’m just a little worried.”
“I was just there, they’re fine,” he said softly, a burning pain of dread pooling in his gut. The adrenaline from the encounter still simmered in his blood, keeping him on edge. “I’m sure they’re on their way home now. Bad service ’cause of the storm.”
“The storm was worse when we were textin’ and those came through just fine.”
“Fuck,” he muttered, making an illegal U-turn and flooring the gas pedal. Fuck any highway patrols who wanted to get in his way. “I’m on my way back there. I’ll call you in a bit.”
“Thanks, man.”
The call disconnected and Colton coded in another call, driving like a bat out of hell.
* * * *
“I swear to God I’m gonna fucking kill you.” Alexis was kneeling down by his safe with a gun pressed to the back of his neck. Every time he turned to see if Bleu was breathing, the fucker would knock his neck or head hard with the gun, focusing his attention on the safe. After a moment, the code was successfully inputted and the safe opened. He stacked the bills in a plastic bag and handed them off to the guy.
“Stand up.”
He stood, turning to look at Bleu.
“Stay still or I shoot her—”
“Police! Freeze!”
At the call the burglar turned around, aiming the gun at the incoming policeman. Alex ducked as the sound of guns going off pierced the air. After what felt like forever but couldn’t have been longer than ten seconds, the burglar collapsed to the floor, his chest rife with bullet holes. Alexis dodged around his limp body as the police called a clear. Without a second glance, he dashed out of the office to see Colton lifting Bleu into his arms. She was moaning softly but her eyes were open. She was breathing.
Another officer came up to Bleu and looked into her eyes. “Looks like she’s got a concussion, Colton.”
“We’ll take her to the hospital,” Alexis said, feeling dead on his feet from all the adrenaline pumping through his veins.
“We need another statement from you, sir,” the police officer said kindly.
“Can we do it later, please?” He walked over to Colt and Bleu, discretion be damned, and kissed Colton flat on the mouth. “She OK?”
“Yeah, I think they’re right about the concussion though. Let’s get her to the paramedics’ car outside and then we’ll follow behind.” Colton didn’t even hesitate before leaning toward Alexis and kissing him again. Alexis would have taken a moment to appreciate Colt’s claim on him in public if it weren’t for Bleu’s immediate need of medical attention. Trauma certainly had a way of putting life into perspective.
Chapter 15
Colton stood in the entrance to the bedroom. Alexis was asleep on his stomach with Bleu curled up next to him. Her hair covered most of her naked body, making her look like a little blue kitten. Her mouth was half-open and an itty-bitty snore penetrated the near-pitch-black room. Even through the mass of curls, he could still see the bandage on her head. They had strict instructions from the hospital to wake her up every hour. If Alexis had been going by the hour he would have woken her up around ten minutes ago. She had one hand underneath her head like a pillow and the other curled around Alex’s arm. Upon further inspection it was more of a death grip then a curl.
He walked down the stairs to the living room and leaned against the wall, surveying his silent surroundings. The room was dark, his loved ones were safe, and nothing would be able to harm them with him standing guard. He was alone for the moment, so Colton did the only thing his body would let him do, he let it all go. His back hit the wall next to the staircase and slid down its length to the floor. His legs were shaking so hard they could no longer support his weight. Silent sobs racked his chest as he expunged the demonic fear possessing his soul.
His tears cascaded down his cheeks in a steady waterfall he thought would never end. Seconds, minutes, or hours later—he had no concept of time—his teeth were tingling and his hands shaking. His head pounded from the energy it took to keep the sobs quiet. He was spent. Falling asleep on the spot where he sank down was tempting but he didn’t want Bleu or Alexis to know he hadn’t slept or that he had been so distraught. He didn’t even know if they wanted him there after the way he pretty much disowned them in front of the cops that first time. He was so ashamed. They needed his strength and he would pass the limits of his body to give it to them.
He gripped the banister and pulled himself up. His sock slipped on the hardwood floor and his coordination was so off he couldn’t help but let himself fall again. A strong hand gripped his forearm and wrapped around his waist, pulling him up to a standing position. Colton pressed his face into the spot where Alex’s neck met his shoulder and breathed him in.
“Thanks for rescuing me from myself,” he murmured, not pulling back, to keep Alex from seeing the scratchy, puffy redness of his face.
“What were you doing on the floor?” His voice was husky from sleep and his arms comforting as they circled Colt’s waist with a squeeze.
He shrugged, dropping a quick kiss to Alex’s neck and turning around to walk toward the kitchen. “Didn’t feel like walking all the way to the sofa.”
“Well, what are you doing down here in the first place? Come to bed. I didn’t even know you were here, I thought you went home after we put Bleu to bed.” Colton didn’t respond. He turned the cold water on and splashed some on his face, hopefully clearing the red splotches and tear tracks. “Why didn’t you come to bed if you didn’t leave?”
“Alex, I’m fine. I didn’t want to wake you up. Go back to bed and I’ll come up when I think I can sleep. I’m gonna get some work done in the meantime.” He stayed at the sink, hoping Alex would just go back upstairs.
“Look at me, Colt.”
“Just go back to sleep.”
“Colton!” Alex yelled, prompting him to turn around and yell right back without thinking.
“What?” Colt cried.
Alex’s jaw dropped at the sight of his distraught appearance. “Baby, what is wrong? Why were you crying?”
“I wasn’t—” He tried to turn back around but Alex was right there, cupping his cheeks, soothing the worry away with the feel of his work-roughened hands.
&
nbsp; “Really?” He smiled sadly. “You’re gonna lie straight to my face when your eyes are as red as Bleu’s cheeks when I go down on her?”
Colt tried to pull away again, ignoring Alex’s joke, but even he could admit to himself that the effort was weak at best. “Nice, but I don’t want to talk about it.”
“How do you do that?” Alex moved his hands to Colt’s shoulders and shook him lightly. “Bleu and I have laid ourselves bare but you keep holding yourself back. Why? What makes you so fucking special that you get to do that?”
“I haven’t been—”
Alex lost his cool. He cupped the back of Colt’s neck in a strong grip and brought his lips down on his in a fierce kiss, anger and frustration all too clear in the primal taking. “Stop lying and avoiding and just tell me what is wrong. Say something. Say anything.” Colton stared, at a loss for words. “Fuck, Colt, don’t make me beg.”
Colton felt a shame-filled fire light up inside him. He grabbed Alex and pulled him close, framing his face with a bruising hold. “You don’t ever beg me for anything. I’m the one who should beg. I’m the one who–who isn’t good enough for you two.” He sighed, the anger at seeing the hurt in Alex’s eyes and knowing he’d caused it deflating into a solemn defeat. “You’re right. I’ve been avoiding a lot.”
“What are you talking about ‘not good enough’?” Alex stroked Colt’s hair back, the gesture so tender he could have melted.
“You both have overcome so much shit in your lives and I’ve hid who I am for the majority of mine.”
“Just because you’re cautious about revealing your sex life to the general public doesn’t make you a bad person.”
Colt shook his head, this time truly pushing away from Alex. “No. It makes me a coward.”
“What are you getting at?” a small voice from the staircase piped in. Colton turned to see Bleu standing on the landing, leaning against the banister.
A Different Kind of Perfect (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 21