by E. L. Todd
“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked. “He pictured me fucking you and realized he misses it. There is no other explanation.”
“Why would he propose to someone if that were true?”
“Because he realized you were an amazing catch after he saw me treat you like a queen. That guy has a lot of fucking nerve. If he thinks he’s going to get you back, he has another thing coming.”
I still couldn’t believe it.
“If he bothers you, let me know. If he comes by your apartment, I’ll run over here and break his hand so he can’t call or knock on your door again.”
I knew he was being serous. “I doubt he’ll do any of those things.”
“He’d be stupid if he did.”
I sat on the edge of the bed and processed everything that happened.
Ash stared at me, his eyes practically coals.
I knew something was on his mind but he didn’t want to spit it out. “What?”
“Promise me something.”
“Okay.” I’d promise him anything for no reason at all.
“Don’t ever take him back. I mean it.” Ash was bossy and stubborn but he never told me what to do before. Now he was actually commanding me to follow an order. It wasn’t like him.
“What makes you think I would?”
“It’s natural to feel a little happy when your ex admits he misses you. But don’t fall for it. He didn’t treat you right the first time. And he won’t do it a second time.”
I didn’t have feelings for him anyway. The only guy I ever thought about was right in front of me, cynical and beautiful at the same time. He was the man in my bed almost every night, and he was the person I confessed all my secrets to. As scary as it sounded, I hated picturing my life without Ash. “I won’t.”
“Promise me.”
“Why is this so important to you?” My voice came out as a whisper. Deep in my heart, I hoped he would say what I secretly wanted to hear. I wanted him to admit there was something between us, something meaningful. My deepest thoughts were coming to the surface every day we spent together.
“You deserve the best. He isn’t it.”
It was a sweet thing to say, but not exactly what I was fishing for. “Thank you…”
“So, you promise me?” He held my hand. “You’re the coolest chick I’ve ever met. You need to be with someone that’s just as amazing. I hate seeing gorgeous chicks with whatever guys. It’s a pet peeve of mine.”
Ash was amazing—more amazing than I was. “Yes.”
He released a sigh and relaxed. “Good. I can sleep tonight.”
Would he be jealous if I got back together with Tony? Would he be jealous if I were with anyone? I knew I would be jealous if he were with someone else. After I found out he went on a date, I was wounded. But when he left her just to take care of me, the jealousy went away.
I moved into his chest and lay on top of him. My hand rested on his flat stomach, and Ash immediately moved his fingers through my hair. I wasn’t sure what this was, but I loved it and never wanted it to end.
***
My workweek was boring—a snooze fest.
Whenever I was at the office or with a client, Ash was on my mind. I wondered what he was doing. Was he inking at that very moment? And if he was, what was he inking? Was he thinking about me? Were we thinking of each other at the same time?
I preferred the weekends because I saw him a lot more. He usually came over Friday after work and stayed throughout the whole weekend. Even when I left to escort a client, he stayed in my apartment until I returned.
It was like having a boyfriend.
“Can you toss me a paperclip?” Shelly asked.
I couldn’t get him out of my head. His fingers brushed through my hair in just the right way. He made me laugh without even trying. His lips were always so tasty. When we were in bed together, it was a spiritual adventure. Our souls were connected as we moved together. We didn’t speak but we communicated with our bodies.
It was amazing.
“Uh, hello?” Shelly said.
“Hmm?” I turned to her when I realized she was there. “Sorry?”
“Your head is somewhere else today. Actually, it’s been somewhere all week…”
“I guess I’ve been distracted.” I found a paperclip in my desk and tossed it at her.
“Thanks.” She clipped her papers together. “What’s on your mind?”
“Just stuff…” Ash.
“Stuff like a hot bad boy with lots of ink?” She gave me a knowing smile.
“Maybe…” Was I that easy to read?
“You guys are still fooling around?”
“We’ve been fooling around for three months.”
“Three months?” She dropped her papers. “Damn, that’s a long time to fool around with someone. Wars have lasted less than that.”
“I know…” I bit my lip in thought.
Shelly examined my movements. “You’ve fallen for him, haven’t you?”
“No… I don’t know… I’m not sure.”
“I think you are.”
“It’s just…” I shook my head. “Nevermind.”
“No, tell me,” she pressed.
I didn’t know where to begin. “He said he doesn’t do the girlfriend thing and he never will.”
“Shocking…”
“But he’s so sweet to me. I mean, he can be arrogant and all of that, but he has a heart of gold underneath all that muscle. When I got sick, he left a date just to take care of me. And he kisses me and spends all his time with me. And when Tony called me, he got kind of jealous. Sometimes…he acts like he can’t get enough of me. He’s always around me. But then he says he doesn’t want a relationship…” I shook my head. “It’s so confusing.”
Shelly listened without interrupting. “He’s into you, Alessandra.”
“You think?”
“Come on,” she said. “He’s with you all the time. You said it yourself. You think he would do that if he didn’t want more than just meaningless sex?”
Those were the words I wanted to hear.
“No guy spends all his time with a single girl unless she’s special. Has he slept with anyone else?”
“No, I don’t think so. But then again, I haven’t asked him.”
“Ask. If he hasn’t, you have your answer.”
“You think?” I asked.
She nodded. “If he hasn’t been with anyone but you for three months, it’s love. No girl is that good in bed.”
The idea of being something more with him gave me butterflies. “But if I’m wrong, I could ruin what we have. He told me from the beginning he didn’t do commitment.”
“And I’m sure he meant it. But things change. Go for it, Alessandra.”
“You really think I should?” I got nervous just thinking about it.
“Yes,” she said firmly. “But ask if he’s slept with anyone first. Then go from there.”
I nodded. “Okay.” Wow, I was actually going to do this. Surprisingly, I wasn’t scared. I know exactly what Ash said in the beginning but things were different now. I didn’t assume he was in love with me but I knew there was something else there.
I had a good feeling about this.
***
“Yo, cream queen.” Ash walked inside and immediately headed to the fridge.
I was sitting on the couch. “Yes, please come in.” My voice was full of sarcasm.
He grabbed a beer then sat beside me. “How’s it going?” He leaned in and gave me a deep kiss before he drank his beer.
He greeted me like a boyfriend would. There was no denying that. “Good. You?”
“It was a long day,” he said. “Let’s just say I can’t wait to get my shop running.”
“Someone piss you off?”
“Not necessarily. My appointment cancelled on me and I had nothing to do but my boss wouldn’t let me leave. So I sat around all day and did nothing.”
“So, you got paid for doing nothing,
right?”
“I make a lot more having a client. When I’m just sitting there I only get minimum wage, and minimum wage is basically spare change you find in the pocket of an old pair of jeans.”
“Well, I think we’re pretty close to getting your money.”
“Me too.” He drank his beer then set it down. “You have to let me ink you when I open my shop.”
“Why?”
“I want you to be my first customer.”
“But I don’t want any ink.”
“Come on,” he said. “Let me give you a tramp stamp or something.”
“No…”
“Then something in the front. You know…down below.” He had a wicked grin on his face.
“Not there either.”
“Then let me pierce your clit for you.”
“You don’t like me the way I am?” I challenged.
“No, I do,” he said quickly. “But you could be so much more.” He kissed my shoulder. “Trust me on this.”
I wanted to ask my question but I didn’t know how. Wouldn’t it seem out of context to do it now? I tried to think of a way to bring it up. “So, do you sleep with your clients?”
“My clients?” he asked as he drank the beer.
“Yeah, the girls you ink.”
“Oh…sometimes.”
My heart sank. “Like, recently?”
“Uh…” He pressed his lips together as he tried to think. “The last time was about…four months ago. Yeah, her name was Layla or Lillian…something like that.”
My heart picked up again. “Where do you meet other girls? At bars?”
He snapped his fingers. “Laura. It was Laura.”
“Oh.” Like I gave a damn what her name was. “So, you pick up girls at bars?”
“Yeah, I guess. Or the gym. Wherever.”
“When was the last time you slept with someone?” I tried to keep my voice casual.
“You—last night.”
“Someone besides me.”
He searched his brain again. “Uh…” He rubbed his temple. “I can’t remember.”
That wasn’t good enough.
“Like, a month ago?”
“No…I honestly can’t remember.”
“Have you slept with anyone since you met me?” I hoped I wasn’t making it too obvious.
He drank his beer and continued thinking. “No, actually.”
My heart exploded into a thousand fireworks. Happiness rushed through me. I wanted to jump on the table and start dancing. That had to mean something. I wasn’t just making assumptions, right? That wasn’t normal for Ash.
“Hmm…interesting.”
Isn’t it? Okay, I think I should tell him how I feel. There was a good chance he felt the same way. Why would he ask me to brunch and spend all this time with me if I didn’t mean something more? I knew I wasn’t searching for something that wasn’t there. “Ash, lately I’ve been feeling—”
His phone rang in his pocket. “Sorry.” He fished it out and looked at the screen. “It’s the shop…that’s weird.”
I wanted to continue my conversation but it could wait a minute. “Take it.”
“Sorry, hold on.” He answered the call. “Yo.” He listened to the person on the other line. “I’m kind of busy right now.” Then he listened again before he released an irritated sigh. “Fine. Whatever. I’ll be there in ten minutes.” He hung up and shoved the phone back into his pocket. “Damn.”
“What is it?”
“I have to head to work. My appointment showed up. She thought she said eight in the evening, not eight in the morning.” He rolled his eyes. “So stupid.” He leaned toward me and gave me a quick kiss. “I’ll see you later, cream queen.”
I was disappointed but I tried to hide it. “Yeah. Have fun.”
He sighed. “Working the night shift is not fun.” He walked out and shut the door behind him.
I didn’t want him to leave but I didn’t want to rush through the conversation either. There wasn’t a deadline to the conversation. Ash already told me what I needed to know. I could wait until I saw him next.
Ash
I walked inside the bar then searched for Sawyer.
“Over here.” Sawyer whistled then waved at me from the booth.
I headed in his direction, and once I got closer to his table, I realized he wasn’t alone. Two cute brunettes were with him. “Just got off work.” I slid into the booth and sat beside one of the girls. “What’s up?” Sawyer texted me earlier and asked me to meet him there.
The girl twirled a strand of hair in her fingers. “I’m Lacy.”
“Hi.” I extended my hand. “Ash.”
She didn’t take it. “Ash…I like it.”
Anyway… I turned back to Sawyer. “Guess what happened to me today. I inked this really sick dragon on this eighteen-year-old girl. It looked sick, but she’ll regret it one day.” I pulled out my phone and showed him the picture.
“That does look cool.” He handed it back.
“I did the design myself. Pretty neat.” I shoved my phone back into my pocket.
“I have ink.” Lacy stared at me like no one else was there.
“Yeah?” I asked. “Where?” I didn’t see anything on her arms.
“It’s in a place where you can’t see…it’s of two dolphins.”
Lame. “Cool.” I turned back to Sawyer. “Did you catch the game?”
The girl beside him suddenly grabbed his face and started kissing him. Sawyer returned her embrace and completely forgot about me. Why did he ask me to meet him there if he was hooking up with someone?
“Hannah is my sister,” Lacy explained. “She agreed to go out with Sawyer because he said he had a friend…a hot one. And I’m glad he didn’t exaggerate at all.” Her hand moved to my arm.
I brushed it off. “Whoa…slow down.”
“What?” Alcohol was on her breath, and judging by the empty glasses in front of her, she was already buzzed if not drunk.
“Slow down?” She had a hint of brattiness to her. “No one tells me to slow down.”
“Well, I just did.”
Sawyer stopped kissing Hannah. “Girls, could you excuse us for a moment?” He glared at me like he intended to murder me the second we were alone.
The girls left the table and headed to the bathroom.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Sawyer immediately started.
“Me?” I asked. “Why do you keep setting me up on dates?”
“Because last time I checked, you were straight. Or are you not anymore?”
I shot him a murderous look. “I’m straighter than a rod and I can get my own dates.”
“What’s wrong with her?” Sawyer asked. “She’s cute and easy.”
“I can get my own women,” I argued. “I’ve never needed help before.”
“I’m aware of that. I just thought I would share the wealth.”
“Well, I’m good,” I snapped.
“Dude, what’s your problem? You shut down Irene and now Lacy, who’s even hotter. What’s up with you?”
“Nothing…” Alessandra’s face came into my mind. She was all I ever thought about, even when we weren’t together. I didn’t even want to be in that bar. I wanted to be at her place, watching a movie and fucking on the couch. I didn’t want to be there with some girl that wanted to sleep with me the second she looked at me. Why would I be with her when I already had a great thing going on? “I just don’t want her. Okay?”
Suspicion came into his eyes. “Is it that girl? Your escort?”
“No.”
“You in love with her or something?”
“No,” I said defensively. “I just…don’t want Lacy.”
He wasn’t buying it. “Well, I think you’re pussy-whipped, which means there’s something going on. If that’s the case, just admit it.”
“It’s not.”
“Then fuck Lacy.”
“I don’t want to.”
He gripped
his skull. “You’re giving me whiplash, man.”
“Just don’t set me up anymore.”
“Fine,” he said with a growl. “I won’t.”
“Thank god.” Just when I finished my sentence, the girls came back.
Hannah immediately dove her tongue into Sawyer’s mouth. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Hell yeah.” Sawyer threw cash on the table and left without saying goodbye to Lacy and I. Hannah didn’t say a word to her sister. They just walked out and forgot about us the moment the door shut behind them.
Then the awkwardness descended.
Could I just leave?
Or would that make me a dick?
“So…you ink for a living?” Lacy stared at me with bright blue eyes.
“Yeah. I’ve been doing it for a while. What do you do?”
“I’m a dancer.”
“Cool. Where?”
“The symphony.”
“Very cool,” I said. “You must have a lot of blisters on your feet.”
“All the time,” she said with a laugh. She waved down the bartender and ordered another drink. It was clear she shouldn’t have one but she was a stranger so I didn’t tell her otherwise. “Sawyer is really hot.”
“I guess,” I said with a shrug.
“You are too. Where did you come from? Some hot guy vortex?”
I tried not to laugh. “I guess we stick together.”
“My last boyfriend was pretty cute. But he ended up a cheater so whatever.” She took a long drink.
I could feel the sadness and devastation leaking from every pore on her body.
“What about you?”
“What about me?” I asked.
“Any cheaters in your life?”
“No.” I’d never been close enough to anyone to feel the burn.
“Oh…lucky you.” She took another drink then moved her hand to my thigh.
I froze at her touch. Then I pushed it away. “I really should be going.” I slid out of the chair and threw the money down for her drink.
“You’re just going to leave?”
“Yeah. I’ll see you around.”
“Oh…” She didn’t get out of the chair.
“Are you going to leave too?” Or was she just going to sit there?
“Yeah, I’ll leave in a minute.” She rested her arms on the table.
“Okay…have a good night.” I walked out of the bar and headed up the street. Why did Sawyer insist on setting me up with these girls? I didn’t ask for it. If I wanted something, I’d go out and get it myself. He needed to chill.