by S. L. Scott
His voice cuts through my wondrous thoughts. “Why are you fighting this?”
My head bolts up. His eyes are curious, but sad.
I know what he means, but he doesn’t deserve any more of me. He’s a taker, and I’m not willing to fall for his game again. I look down at his black boxer briefs and point. “Are you going to let me borrow those or not?”
“Of course,” he says, sliding them down and exposing himself to me.
It hardens as I watch him strip the underwear completely off. How do I keep forgetting how perfect his erection is? “You like what you see, Mallory?” He holds the briefs in the air in front of my face.
I snatch them. “Thanks,” I say, grinning then licking my lips for some odd reason.
Turning around, I slip one leg at a time into the briefs. Sliding them up so he gets a glimpse of my ass, an unsubtle reminder of what he’s been missing. Yes, I can tease, too. As I adjust the waistband, his hands grab my hips, pulling me to him. Pressing his hardened self against my bottom, his warm breath hits my neck, and he whispers against my ear, “I think about you all the time.”
Stepping forward, freeing myself, I walk around him. Without looking back, I say, “Except when you’re sneaking out in the early morning to avoid the mistake you made the night before, or when you’re fucking other girls.” I leave him in the shack, alone and naked.
I’m almost to the hotel by the time he catches up with me, swim trunks back on. “I left your required little courtesy note.” He takes hold of my arm, and I turn back to face him.
“It’s not about etiquette, Evan. After what we did, you should want to tell me goodbye. When you don’t, I not only wake up alone but feel like a whore.” I yank my arm from him and turn to walk again, but he blocks my path.
“You’re not a whore and I didn’t use you, I—”
“Ashford! Over here. Now!” Some guy in a staff shirt yells from the patio of the hotel.
“Shit! I’ll meet you at the car. This conversation is not over,” Evan says before jogging toward the man.
The man seems to be griping at him, but Evan glances at me then stares out at the water with his arms crossed, giving him no respect. Typical. I watch him nod and then argue.
The employee parking lot is huge and I don’t see his car anywhere. Suddenly, Evan grabs my arm directing me to walk with him. “Let’s get out of here. I’m parked over here.” As we’re walking, he hands me my wet bikini then releases my arm, and says, “You left this.” His pace is quick and I can tell he’s anxious to leave. At the edge of the parking lot, he stops where the grass ends and the rest is cement. He turns and looks at me. “The pavement is hot. I’ll carry you the rest of the way. Hop on.”
Being stubborn, I touch my foot to the pavement to test it.
“I’m parked six rows over. You can walk if you want.” He shrugs, but looks confident.
He starts walking, but the ground is too hot and I don’t want to scorch my feet. I huff, putting my hands on my hips. “Fine. I’ll take the ride.”
And there is that self-satisfied smile. If I wasn’t anxious to get out of here myself, I’d protest just to spite him. But I want to get home, so I swallow my pride.
He comes back and bends over and I hop onto his back wrapping my legs around his body and my arms loosely around his neck. My cold, wet, bathing suit is in my hand, dripping down his bare chest, and I find a tidbit of pleasure in that annoyance. He’s getting me back five times over with the friction of his body against my nether region as he moves though. All that separates us is the soft cotton of the briefs I’m wearing.
He makes me want him! It’s hard to give up the best sex of your life over stupid stuff like principles and pride.
We reach the car and he grabs me from the side, spinning me to his front and pinning me against the vehicle with his body.
“Whoa! What are you doing?” My feet don’t reach the ground and he’s holding me by my ass and enjoying himself at that.
“I told you our conversation wasn’t over.”
“Do we have to finish it with your cock pressed against me while your hands fondle my ass though?” I ask, sneering.
He laughs then leans his head against my forehead. “You’re right. We shouldn’t be talking.” His lips graze mine and my body relaxes under his grip. Sensing the tension dissipating from my body, he kisses me. I hold out for exactly point two seconds before I kiss him back.
The kiss is heated from the moment our lips touch, on fire by the time our tongues meet, and burning when I wrap my arms around his neck giving him everything he wants—everything I want. His bulge presses against my sex and I moan into his mouth. Lifting my legs up higher, I wrap them around him tighter as he adjusts his hold on me, so we both benefit. I can feel how much he wants me and that thought alone brings my buried desires to the surface.
His mouth pulls away and he rests his head on my shoulder. “God, Mallory. How do you do this to me?” He sounds as if he’s selling his soul to the devil. “I can’t fight you. You’re all I fucking want.”
I tilt my head back to get a better look at him, understanding exactly what he’s experiencing. I’m battling my urges for him too. It’s been a struggle and is much easier when I don’t see him, when I’m not reminded of our chemistry. I bring my legs down, straightening them down toward the ground. His hands loosen and he lets me slide down his body, but his hands remain on my hips, his grasp tightening. When I look into his eyes, he needs me too much and yet not enough—conflict.
My senses take hold of me. “I think you should drive me home now, Evan.”
Just as my feet touch the hot parking lot, he opens the door for me without question or further intention. Sliding into the driver’s seat, he lowers his head, running a hand through his hair aggressively as if he’s struggling inside. He doesn’t speak. He just shifts into reverse, and starts driving.
We need a distraction. I need a distraction from the tension filling the car. “It looked like you were arguing with that man back there. Are you in trouble?”
He doesn’t look at me. I can tell it’s on purpose. “No. He was just mad.”
“About me? You know, dressed like this?”
“Not about your clothes.” He explains, “He asked me if I had sex with you in the shack. I told him no. Then he asked if I wanted to keep my job.”
“Do you?”
“Yes, but I told him to go fuck himself—”
I turn, shocked. “Why would you say that to your boss?”
“They won’t fire me.” He looks at me, the smug slowly reclaiming his gentler features. “They use me to draw in the clients. I benefit them just as much as the job does me.”
“Is that how you met those girls? You gave them a lesson—”
“I know you won’t believe me, but I didn’t sleep with them, Mallory. I swear.”
Belief is a powerful commitment. I want to believe, but everything I saw overrides any trust I consider giving him. “The porn, the girls, it didn’t look innocent.”
“Have you ever watched porn?”
“Don’t turn this around. I’ve watched those kinds of movies and I’m not judging you for that.” I scrunch my nose in disgust, and say, “But you were obviously going to have sex with them.”
He pulls to the side of the road, slamming on his brakes, and throwing the car into park. “I was. You’re right or I wanted to. FUCK! I thought I wanted to. I thought it would help.” I can feel his anger through his words. “But I didn’t. I didn’t sleep with them. I didn’t have sex with them. I didn’t even kiss them, but honestly, does it matter? Are you going to believe me?” he asks, his voice suddenly softer in the confined space. “I screwed up and I’m sorry. I need you to believe what I’m telling you. I was only going to hook up with them to get you off my mind. When you kicked me out that night, it upset—”
“I didn’t kick you out forever,” I say, sitting up while standing my ground. Tears well in my eyes and I say more than I should. “You hu
rt me. How many times am I supposed to let you come into my life and do that? I’m a girl and emotional. I need you to be there when I wake up so I don’t feel used.” I turn away to look out the window.
I can hear him trying to bring his breathing back under control. Seconds later, his hand runs gently down my arm, and he whispers, “I’m sorry I hurt you, but I don’t know how not to.”
Absorbing his words, I let them enter my soul. Minutes pass before he starts the car back up again. We remain silent the rest of the trip. When Evan pulls up to the apartment, he cuts the engine. There are two possibilities here: he’s going to talk to me or he’s going to walk me to the front door and end this once and for all.
He opens his door and comes around to open mine. Guess he’s made his decision. He offers a hand and I take it though I know by this stage in our convoluted relationship that I shouldn’t. I’m weak to him and touching him removes the last of my will-powered walls every time.
We walk in silence. At the front door, I stop and point at the shirt I’m wearing. “I’ll get your clothes back to you soon.”
“I was actually hoping to collect them now,” he says, adorable with a sweet tilted smile in full effect.
“No, Evan.”
“No? Just like that?”
“Exactly like that.”
“Mallory?”
“Yes.”
He licks his lips, and sighs, pausing too long for my comfort level.
“I have to go.” My words burst out, ending both of our unease. Pulling the key from under the potted plant, I say, “Goodbye.”
I unlock the door with haste and walk in, immediately closing it behind me. Resting my back against the door, I close my eyes trying to block out the feeling of his presence on the other side, his heat easily penetrating the metal and my soul.
“You okay, there?” a male voice asks.
My eyes flash open and my hand covers my heart. “I didn’t see you.”
Zach smiles, and I can’t stop myself from comparing the lightness of it to Evan’s troubled one. “I gathered that much.”
We both look out the sliding glass door and watch Evan get in his car and leave. “You want to talk about it?” he asks casually.
“No, but thanks. Is Sunny here?”
“She’s in the shower.”
I walk into the bathroom and shut the door behind me. “I need to talk.”
“Mallory,” she says, moving the curtain to the side, and poking her head out. “Why are you home already?”
“Yeah, about that. I don’t appreciate you and Kate ditching me.”
“C’mon, it was for your own good. You’ve got some sorting out to do. We can all see it and everyone within fifty yards can feel the sexual tension, chemistry, whatever you want to call what you two have. It’s there, Mal.” She closes the curtain. “Why are you holding out? Are you worried about his rep?”
“It’s too late for that,” I mumble to myself.
“What was that? I can’t hear you because of the water.”
“Nothing. So you and Zach, huh?”
She turns off the water, grabs a towel off the rack, and flips open the shower curtain. Stepping out with the towel wrapped around her body, she smiles. “Yeah, I like him a lot.” She leans toward me, and whispers, “We’ve hung out a few times and he’s been up at Kehones a lot lately. He’s nice, polite and he’s sweet to me.”
“I’m happy for you.”
She lifts my chin up so I face her. “You deserve happiness, too. Now, get the hell out of here and let me get dressed.”
I walk back into the living room and see Zach sitting there. “So you heard all that?”
“Yeah.” He chuckles.
“Any thoughts?”
He puts his hands up in surrender. “Not getting involved.”
“Ohhh, now you’re not getting involved? Where was Mr. I’m-not-getting-involved earlier when you abandoned me at the beach?” I ask, rolling eyes.
“Abandoned is a strong word and that wasn’t really my idea, but I tend to agree with Sunny. You and Evan have some stuff to work out—”
“I don’t even know Evan.”
“Maybe you should get to know him then. He’s a good guy despite the reputation that precedes him, and it’s just that, a reputation.” He laughs looking down at his feet as he stands. “I mean, some of it’s true, but some has definitely been exaggerated.”
“Does he sleep with a lot of girls?”
He ponders the question then says, “I think you should ask him.”
“I don’t trust him or his rehearsed answers.”
“Why do you think he would lie to you?” Zach studies my face, trying to read me. He reminds me a little of Evan when he does that.
Remembering Evan’s words from the first day I met him, he told me not to rely on him, but to trust him. He was honest with me. I got hurt because I did exactly what he told me not to do. I relied on him even though I didn’t trust him.
Chapter 14
Mallory
The revelation from the day before shrouds my thoughts like a wet towel—a constant drip, reminding me of Evan. Maybe I played this game all wrong. He told me he’s not a relationship guy. It was one of the first things he said to me. His actions with the girl at the airport and after, backed that, but his actions with me, didn’t.
I stand there lost in thought and staring at the wooden bar that I’m supposed to be cleaning. How he treated me was nothing less than caring for the most part. Yes, he screwed up and hurt my feelings both mornings after we had sex, but he also seemed to be in a constant state of turmoil when around me too. I think he likes me, but doesn’t know how to deal with those feelings. Pretty similar to how I feel about him, which is a bit distressing. I didn’t come here to find a boyfriend. I thought it was fun to have sex with someone so beautiful on my summer vacation. There would be no strings, no commitments, no obligations, or responsibility, just a one-time thing that I was never bold enough to do back at school. But I was wrong because the minute I got in that car, I knew there was more. I knew he was different. I just didn’t allow myself to recognize the feelings I had for him and he had for me. Evan Ashford has feelings for me. I say it just loud enough for only me to hear, letting it permeate the air around me.
“Maalllllory, earth to Mallory.”
I look up. “Yeah… Oh, Noah, hi. What are you doing here?”
“I was dropping the VW off. You wanna see?”
“Definitely.”
I walk around the bar and head outside with him. My hands fly up, covering my mouth as it drops open in amazement. I run my finger down the newly painted, shiny, red Volkswagen Bus. “Oh my god, Noah!” I say, pointing at it. “It’s incredible.” I turn around and jump on him out of pure excitement.
He catches me as I hug him tightly. “Sunny is going to die when she sees her bus.”
Noah laughs then sets me back down on the ground. “I hope so. But, you know, Mallory, I can’t accept your money. I know you offered to pay me for the work, but you paid for the paint and I actually enjoyed doing the bodywork.”
“This looked like it belonged in a junkyard, but now… well, look at it. It looks like it was just driven off the showroom floor. I need to pay you for your time.”
“No, absolutely not. But, you can promise me that we still get to hang out together sometimes. I’ll miss that.”
“Deal,” I say, sticking my hand out to seal it. “We’re friends. Of course, we’ll hang out.”
We go inside and since it’s a slow day, he stays, and we enjoy the time chatting and laughing together. When I get off at six, he says he has a surprise for me at his house. I drive the beautifully restored VW and Noah over to his place, an old house down the street from his parents. When the garage door opens, I see a white surfboard with ‘Wahine Nani’ painted across the length in gold. Silver and purple Hibiscus flowers encircle the edge with the University of Colorado Buffalo mascot anchoring the image fin side.
Nudging
me with his elbow, he says, “I thought you’d like your own board since you’re here all summer, haole girl. Maybe we can surf together sometime.”
“You didn’t! This is so bad-ass! Oh my God, Noah, I can’t believe you did this.” I look at the design, running my finger along the edge. “It’s amazing. More than amazing. It’s perfect.” I point to the words, and ask, “Wahine Nani?”
“Beautiful Girl,” he looks down as he says this. “You are. You’re very pretty.”
My cheeks heat under the compliment. “I don’t know what to say other than thank you. So you’re going to take me out surfing sometime soon?”
“Next week, I will. I promise, but I have that competition coming up, so it’ll have to wait until after that.”
“I look forward to it.”
He follows me back to the car. I drive the VW, and he drives his Jeep with the long board up on surf racks. Sunny isn’t home. I’m suspecting she’s with Zach again. Noah drops the board off, but can’t stay because he needs to work-out to prep for the competition, so he takes off. I’m not disappointed because I really need some quiet time to myself to think about everything.
I spend my evening practicing the ‘pop-ups’ that Evan taught me in my lesson and feel confident to try this in the ocean on my new board. I love this board so much that I lie down on it to watch TV and eventually fall asleep. Sometime in the night, I feel weightless and warm. I dream of Evan, but I always dream of Evan in some form lately, so that isn’t strange. I shift onto my side burying myself into the couch cushions, but don’t wake until morning.
The sun hasn’t risen and just like so many other mornings in Hawaii, I decide to go to the beach to watch the sunrise. But today, I have a board and the excitement of owning it gets the better of my patience. I throw my bathing suit on, pull on my cut-offs, and slip on flip-flops. I grab the board which is awkward to hold, but settles nicely into my side as I walk.
At the beach, I drop my board into the sand and strip down to my swimsuit. The waves look gentler this morning which eases my worries. I run Evan’s surfing lesson through my mind as I paddle out past the first set of breaking waves. The water is smooth out here and it’s easy to navigate without much effort. I look back at the empty beach which is now a fair distance away. All the nerve I had maintained abandons me for a brief second with the rush of danger I feel from suddenly realizing I’m a solitary surfer. I look across the ocean, further down the beach, and see the usual ‘real’ surfers and find relief that others are at least in the vicinity. Newbies aren’t allowed to surf with those guys and especially not a haole girl, so I keep my distance.