“Is there anything else you expected?”
“I expect one of the places of Convergences is where my mother has headed.”
“We have no evidence there is a Convergence within the waste.”
“No evidence other than the fact she had last been seen heading across there. No evidence other than that we know she had access to considerable power and a way of using chaos. No evidence other than that which we have continued to see, time and again.”
Irina let out a heavy sigh. “I wish it were different.”
“As do I, but unfortunately, we need to better understand.”
She watched him for a long moment. “You are now a master shaper, so I’m not able to tell you what you should and could do, but I can offer advice as someone who has served for longer than you.”
“I’d be open to advice.”
“Leave her.”
“What?”
“Don’t chase after her. If she returned to the waste, there’s nothing we’d be able to do. You would only be risking yourself. There’s no point in going after her, especially if she has as much power as what we have seen.”
“She will continue to consolidate that power.”
“We don’t know that.”
Tolan nodded toward the door behind him. “Master Daniels is evidence to the contrary. If she begins to attack, and if she coordinates another attack, thinking to twist another place of Convergence, then what?” Now his mother knew about the other places of Convergence, he was worried she would do what he was describing. And why wouldn’t she? She had not known they existed before. She likely had suspected, but hadn’t been able to find them.
“Knowing about them and being able to reach them are different things, Tolan. She may have known they existed, but there wouldn’t be anything she would even be able to do. She’d have to fight her way through—”
“Something she has proven capable of doing.” He shook his head. “I know you don’t want to think we’re unable to protect Terndahl, but she was very nearly able to overthrow considerable power within Terndahl all by herself. If she were to attempt to do so again, I don’t have the same faith as you do that we would be able to defeat her.”
Irina sighed. “Perhaps you’re right.”
“That’s it?”
“You are a master shaper now. I’m not going to counter you when you speak sense. And in all the time you’ve been at the Academy, you have spoken sensibly frequently. We owe you that debt of gratitude, and we owe you the chance to prove yourself.”
“This is not about proving myself.”
“I know.”
“Do you think I can stop her?”
“I worry it’s not about stopping her.”
“What would it be, then?”
“I’m more concerned it’s about stopping whatever other power is out there. Though you have proven yourself, I worry even you won’t be able to stop what might come.”
Tolan held her gaze for a long moment, debating whether there was anything he could or should say, but when it came to what she suggested, he realized she was right. He didn’t know, but that didn’t change what he thought needed to happen. It didn’t change the fact he believed he needed to see what his mother might be up to, to see if there was anything he’d be able to do to keep her from attacking. He needed to see if there was anything he could do to stop this tainted connection to the Convergence.
More than that, there was something beyond just the issue of what his mother might do. It was the issue he had of the waste.
He wasn’t sure whether he should even admit that to Irina, or whether anyone he might admit it to would even understand, but he felt there was something wrong with the waste. And now he better understood what role and connection his mother had, Tolan couldn’t help but feel as if perhaps he might have some way of stopping what had been done.
If he succeeded, then perhaps he might be able to undo the waste.
That was only if he succeeded.
He would have to uncover the key to what had been done, and Tolan wasn’t even sure he would be able to do that.
“Others could go,” he said.
“I imagine the Grand Master has told you the same as I will, but there aren’t too many others who would be willing to make that journey. Your unique connection to the elements may grant you the ability to shape while you’re out there.”
“He told you that.”
She arched a brow at him. “I am well aware of the unique ability to shape that the librarians possess. And having known Master Minden, I’m aware of her intentions for you. Not that it’s surprising. She chose well.”
“I don’t know that I can serve in the library.”
“Perhaps not now, but maybe in time you’ll change your mind. In time, it’s possible you will decide you want something of a more reserved life.” She smiled at him. “If there were others who had your same potential with shaping, they could go with you, but we don’t have them to spare. The librarians are generally secure in their role, and though they may recognize the greater threat in the world, my experience with the librarians has been such that they aren’t terribly invested in stepping outside of their comfort zone.”
“I have to do more than just go after her.”
Irina watched him for a long moment. Tolan wasn’t able to read anything on her face, and he tried to use a hint of spirit, if only to be able to determine if there was something more he could detect from her, but she remained difficult to understand.
Spirit built from her, and it washed toward him for a moment.
Finally, Irina took a deep breath, letting it out in a slow and steady sigh. “There always is.” She reached toward him and took his hand, shaking it. For a moment, Tolan thought she might lean toward him, that she might offer a hug or some other sign of affection, something he would’ve expected from a grandmother, but then she stepped back, crossing her arms over her chest, watching him.
Why had he thought she would do anything more than she already had? It would have been unusual for her to have done so.
“I pray the Great Mother stays with you. I pray you have a strong connection to the elements. And I pray you succeed in your quest, Master Ethar.”
“I’m afraid.”
He tried to be confident, and tried to tell himself he shouldn’t be, but there was something about Irina that compelled him to tell her the truth. Was she using an additional shaping spirit?
“As you should be. It’s not a sign of weakness to feel fear. Weakness would be feeling fear and running away. In your case, you show strength. You recognize the fear. You acknowledge it, and yet…” She cocked her head to the side, studying him. “I can tell that you still intend to do what you plan despite that fear.”
“I think I must.”
“And in that, we agree.”
She released his hand, letting go of the spirit shaping, and turned toward the door behind him. Tolan followed, saying nothing, heading up the stairs after her. Once they reached the main part of the Academy, she nodded to him.
“Make your preparations.”
“And then what?”
“And then I hope we see each other again.”
She started off down the hall, and when she turned a corner, heading toward the spirit tower, Tolan wondered whether he would see her again. Leaving the Academy now, taking this trip, making this journey and risking who he was, left him questioning whether he would ever be able to return.
And if he didn’t, hopefully he would succeed in stopping his mother before she returned. If nothing else, he had to be successful in that much at least.
Taking a deep breath, Tolan turned toward the stairs behind him, toward the hidden section within the library, the wall of portraits and everything it implied and started up. With each step, he pushed back that feeling of uncertainty, pushing back the hint of fear, and steeling himself for what must be done.
8
Tolan remained on the rooftop, flanked by the Grand Master and Maste
r Minden. They both looked weary and Tolan wasn’t surprised, especially as Master Minden had been through the battle with him and the Grand Master had gone through two testings.
Ferrah remained near the open door holding her hands together, and Tolan tried to catch her eye, but she shook her head every time he did.
“Are you certain about this?” the Grand Master asked.
Tolan pointed, focusing on the sense of the energy he could still detect. “There’s something out there. I can track the source of it.”
“She shouldn’t have managed to escape,” the Grand Master said.
“She did have help,” Master Minden said.
“Help. And it was help that knew exactly when to proceed. How is it they knew exactly when we were most vulnerable?” The Grand Master glanced from Master Minden to Tolan.
Tolan shook his head. He wondered about that as well.
Could it be that his mother had pushed him in some way, encouraging him? Could she be the reason he had gone to the Grand Master for testing?
She had been shaping when he’d visited her, and given her ability, and how subtle she could work, he couldn’t help but feel as if she had some way of influencing him. And if that were the case, her subtle powers were something to fear.
“I went to visit her,” Tolan said.
“You have enough control over spirit that you should be protected from her touch,” the Grand Master said.
“But even if she’s still influenced by chaos?” he asked. He glanced from the Grand Master to Master Minden, but neither of them looked at him, almost as if they didn’t have the answers.
Tolan suspected they didn’t. How could they?
“Irina has discovered nothing from our captives,” the Grand Master said. “She will continue to press, but she’s not convinced she’ll uncover anything else of use.”
“We don’t need to question to know where she’s gone,” Tolan said. “Or why.”
“I’m afraid you may be right,” Master Minden said.
“You think she’s gone after the Convergences again? Like what you believe is in Ephra?”
“That could be where she’s gone,” Master Minden said.
“I don’t think so,” Tolan said.
They all turned toward him. He didn’t have the feeling his mother had gone to Ephra. If it was all about Ephra, she would have done that before.
No, without her connection to chaos, at least not as much connection as she had before, he suspected she would go back into the waste where she’d first discovered that power and try to reach it.
That was where they had to go.
And if they did, then he would have to find some way of overpowering her again. Without having access to a Convergence, Tolan wasn’t sure there would be any way to stop her.
“She’s going after her source of power. She’s not going to find that in Ephra.”
“She could use the other places of Convergence to turn,” Master Minden said.
“I don’t think that’s what she’s going to do.” The more he thought about it, the more certain Tolan was that he was right.
“We aren’t prepared to cross the waste,” the Grand Master said. “We don’t even know if it’s possible to do.”
“I’ll go after her,” Tolan said.
“You aren’t prepared for that, either,” the Grand Master said.
“I’m more prepared than most.”
“Not to face her,” he said.
“I can bring my bondar, and…” He tried to think of anything else he might bring with him, but what was there? Out in the waste, where everything was separated from the elements, he thought he would have an advantage. “She won’t be able to shape out there as well as I can.”
The Grand Master cocked an eyebrow at Tolan. “You can shape out in the waste?”
“I think I can.”
“Thinking is not going to be enough,” he said.
“I need to do this. It’s my mother, and with everything she’s done, I…” He frowned, shaking his head. “No. I’m going to do this.” He was a master shaper now, and didn’t have to ask permission to take assignments. He was able to choose what he was going to do and how he was going to serve, and this was what he was going to do.
He glanced over at Ferrah, and saw her nodding.
She was going to go with him.
Master Minden glanced from Tolan to the Grand Master, watching the two of them. “Why else do you think we would want him as part of the library?”
The Grand Master frowned, turning his attention from Tolan to the master librarian. “You can shape in the library?”
She waved her hand. “There is a different connection to those who serve the library.”
“I’m aware of that, Minden, but I would have expected you to share that with me before now.”
“You knew of our interest in him.”
“Interest isn’t the same as…” The Grand Master shook his head in frustration, turning toward Tolan. “What you intend to do is dangerous. I can’t offer you any assistance. Any of the shapers who might be able to go with you won’t have the ability to shape in the same places you might.” He emphasized the word might, and glanced from Tolan to the master librarian. “So, if you do this, you’re going to have to do it alone.”
“Not alone,” Ferrah said.
“Are you able to shape in the library as well?” the Grand Master asked.
“No, but I’m not going let Tolan go by himself.”
“I suppose as both of you are master shapers…”
It was the first Tolan had heard that Ferrah had passed, but he had suspected. Why else would the Grand Master have allowed her to come out to the top of the Academy?
The Grand Master glanced out over the city. “I’m going to continue to focus on what we need to do, offer as much protection to Amitan as we can. I will meet with Irina, to encourage her to keep looking for places of Convergence. They must be protected if she decides to attack there again.”
With that, he pulled on a shaping and disappeared with a rumble of thunder. There wasn’t the same surge of lightning as when Tolan shaped, but he disappeared in the same way.
It left Tolan alone with Ferrah and Master Minden.
“If you do this, you will find things will be more difficult than you realize,” Master Minden said.
“I know,” he said.
“Crossing the waste is incredibly difficult, even for those who have some ability to shape. You will find things are not quite what you expect.”
“What do you think I will encounter?”
“I don’t entirely know. I haven’t made the journey. My service to the Academy has kept me here.”
There was something more he suspected she wasn’t telling them, and the more he learned about Master Minden, the more he realized she was much more than he had believed from the beginning, but still she wore an expression of worry.
“What is it you’re concerned about?”
“I don’t know what’s out in the waste, and if your mother can tolerate it, and if she’s able to shape out there…”
If she were able to shape out there, he would be at a disadvantage. He believed chasing her to the waste would provide him with an opportunity, but what if they were wrong?
“We need to do this,” he said.
“I don’t disagree that you do. Take supplies of what you might need. Water. Food. And bring whatever bondars you can carry.”
“That’s all you think we should bring?”
“When you go to the waste, there’s not much more you need.”
Tolan and Ferrah glanced at each other, and they hurriedly began to make preparations. It didn’t take long for them to gather everything they wanted, a combination of food and water, enough for several weeks across the waste, not knowing what they might encounter and not knowing how long they would be out there. And so, it was late in the day when they found themselves upon the Shapers Path.
By that point, Tolan had begun to recover
, his strength returning, and though he was tired from everything he’d encountered, he was not nearly as weakened as he had been. If he were attacked, he believed he’d have the necessary shaping strength.
Ferrah and he were quiet as they made their way along the Shapers Path, heading out and away from the city.
“What did you experience during your testing?” she asked.
“They told me to survive,” he said.
“Survive?” She turned to watch him, her brow furrowed. “I was just told to demonstrate various shapings.”
“You were?”
She nodded.
Why would he have been treated differently?
“They all attacked me. Even the Grand Master. It took everything I was able to do in order to stop them. And I had to use the power of the runes in order to call upon enough power to suppress the Grand Master.” Even now, the sense of the runes was distant, but it was there, and he thought he would be able to draw on them if he needed to. Once they reached the waste, he doubted he would have access to those runes. It meant he would have to find some other way to draw upon enough energy.
They fell into silence, and as they did, he reached over, taking her hand.
“Jonas came to me before my testing,” he said.
“He came to me before mine,” she said.
“I wanted to tell him what we’re doing, how he could test for master shaper.”
“I’m not sure he’s ready,” Ferrah said.
Tolan took a deep breath and nodded. As hard as it was to admit, it was likely Jonas wasn’t quite ready for testing. After what he had experienced during his testing, he wasn’t sure what it would take to get his friend ready.
“I’m worried about what we might face,” he said.
“I am too.”
“You don’t have to come with me.” Turning toward her, he tried to hide the surge of discomfort he felt. “You don’t have any way of shaping like I do. When we go out there—”
“I’m not going to let you do this by yourself.”
He sighed. “I don’t want to do it by myself. It’s my mother. I just don’t know whether I’m going to be able to handle her.”
The Chaos Rises (Elemental Academy Book 6) Page 8