He sat down beside me. I broke off a piece of bread and handed it to him as I eyed him over. He was even more handsome in the light of day. His eyes, which had seemed dark under the firelight in the hall, were actually an unusual gold-green color. And his hair picked up hints of gold, with a few strands of white, under the sunlight.
It seemed that he, too, was surveying me.
He smiled then stroked my hair. “It shines blue in the sunlight, the same shade as your gown.”
“Madelaine always called me Corbie partially on account of that reason. My feathers shimmer,” I said with a smile.
Gillacoemgain laughed. “Corbie? I like that. So tell me, Corbie, are there any fish in there?”
“Yes, and they are driving Thora mad,” I replied.
Upon hearing her name, Thora looked up at me and wagged her tail.
Gillacoemgain tossed the hunk of bread I’d given him to her.
Thora, who never missed a meal, caught it like a marksman.
“You’ve found the best way to win her heart,” I said with a laugh.
Gillacoemgain reached out and gently touched my chin. “And what about yours?”
“I…I must thank you for last evening. You were very gentle. It means so much,” I whispered in truth. Through the raven’s eyes, I had seen and felt him. He’d been passionate, but tender. Maybe next time, I could come to him as Gruoch. Maybe it would be safe.
“My lovely wife,” he whispered then pulled me into a soft kiss. His lips were warm and soft, the stubble of a new beard scratching my skin.
“Shall we go back?” I asked after we finally let one another go.
Gillacoemgain nodded. Taking my hand in his, he led me across the grassy field. As I felt him beside me, towering over me, I realized that his presence made me feel…safe. It was an odd feeling, all things considered.
When we reached the castle gate, Madelaine was waiting for us. Gillacoemgain kissed my hand, bowed to Madelaine, then let me go.
“I’ll meet you inside,” he said then left me with my aunt.
“Well,” Madelaine said with a chuckle, “this is unexpected.”
I shrugged. How could I explain to her what I didn’t understand myself?
Madelaine turned, and we headed into the castle. “My husband was informed of your late-night wandering.”
“And did it trouble him?”
She laughed. “No. All was found…in order.”
“Of course,” I replied, trying to hide the disgust in my voice.
“I’m glad you like him. I know this is difficult, but you are strong. I see you trying to make the best of it. I’m proud of you. You will do well in Moray.”
“I hope so.”
“Moray…you will be queen of the old kingdom of Gododdin. Would your father have lived to see this day.”
“Would my father have lived.”
“These are strange times. Malcolm’s health is waning, and Prince Duncan is unpopular. Your husband is an ambitious man. There may yet be a greater crown in your future. Malcolm has positioned Gillacoemgain to be an ally to that pompous boy, but Moray is not the kind of man who would follow a puppet on the throne. Watch your husband well. Guide him. He would need strong support behind him for any such bid, but a wife has her husband’s ear more than any council.”
A smile slipped across my face as I imagined Gillacoemgain putting an axe through Duncan’s head.
“We shall see,” I replied.
“What else can we do?” Madelaine said with a smile. “Now, come. Your farewell breakfast waits. You leave for Moray this afternoon.”
“So soon?”
“He didn’t tell you?”
No, he was too busy kissing me. “No.”
“He needs to return. And you, my love, will go with him. You’ll wed when you reach Moray.”
“You’re not coming?”
“The travel…it’s not safe. And Fife is old,” she said with a laugh.
“Then it will be good-bye again,” I replied.
“Just for now.”
I nodded. If I did as I’d promised, made good on my word to Epona, I would be back soon.
Chapter 8
The farewell feast for Gillacoemgain and me seemed almost surreal. How many times had I sat in the feasting hall under Alister’s watch wishing I could disappear, hating everyone in the room save Madelaine and Tavis, hoping Alister would die? The scene that morning was quite different.
I sat sipping water and eating freshly baked cakes while I listened to Fife share funny stories. Madelaine laughed happily, her voice ringing through the chamber. A harper played softly in the corner.
“She never gets too far from you,” Gillacoemgain said, playing with Thora’s ears. Thora had planted herself between Gillacoemgain and me at the table. I’d noticed Gillacoemgain feeding her scraps all through breakfast. Thora responded to his playful toying by licking his hand. Thora usually had a very good sense of people. If Gillacoemgain was the murdering warlord everyone said he was, why had Thora taken to him already?
“No, especially not when there’s food to be had,” I replied.
Gillacoemgain smiled and pulled a dagger from his belt. It was a lovely piece of weaponry with a golden pommel. He cut a chunk of meat from the wild boar sitting on the table before us and tossed it to Thora who wagged her tail happily.
“Where did you get her?”
“Foundling.”
“Hmm,” Gillacoemgain considered, looking into Thora’s face. “I’ve never seen a dog quite like her before.”
“My late uncle’s priest threatened to drown her, accused her of being fey.”
Gillacoemgain shook his head. “Fool,” he muttered then leaned back in his chair. “Scotland is swarming with foolish men.” Gillacoemgain sighed heavily. “Fife seems the type to enjoy lingering long over breakfast, but I’ve many things that need my attention in Moray. Would you mind too much if I ask you to get ready to depart?”
“Not at all. I have little patience with such courtly pleasantries.”
Gillacoemgain smiled at me then set his hand on my shoulder. “Then we shall get along very well, Boite’s daughter.” He rose and crossed the room to talk to Madelaine’s husband, who was helping himself to his fourth serving that morning.
As the two men exchanged words, Madelaine rose and came to me.
“I’ll help you dress in your riding clothes,” she told me.
Together, we headed upstairs. I removed my courtly gown and slipped on a long tunic and a pair of riding breeches, strapping Uald’s gift around my waist. In no time, I was ready to leave, my belongings already bundled onto the pack horses.
I met Gillacoemgain and his men outside.
Tavis waited with Kelpie.
“Now, that’s a sight I don’t think I’ve seen before,” Gillacoemgain said as he eyed me wearing the sword. “This nunnery of yours…are you sure you didn’t travel to the isle of Scáthach for training as a shieldmaiden?”
Tavis chuckled but said nothing.
“I was told all women in Moray were armed. Just trying to fit in,” I replied as I mounted Kelpie. I reined in beside Gillacoemgain.
“A rose trying to fit in amongst weeds? I think not…Corbie,” Gillacoemgain said with a smile.
Madelaine laughed at that. “Corbie. It does fit her well, doesn’t it? Take good care of my little raven,” she told Gillacoemgain.
“My Lady, nothing would make me happier,” he replied, and something in his expression told me he was being honest.
In spite of myself, I smiled. Life alongside Alister had led me to believe most courtly men were cruel. Duncan had proven that the world was still full of evil men. But Gillacoemgain, despite the rumors that surrounded him, had offered me some small hope. Perhaps the world was simply a mix of good and evil. Perhaps people were simply a mix of good and evil. And me, who had killed, what was I?
Thora trotted over to Kelpie and looked up at me expectantly.
“It’s a long walk,” I
told her.
She simply wagged her tail.
Madelaine laughed then took my hand. “Be well, my little love. I grow weary of saying good-bye to you.”
“And me to you. But I think I leave you in good hands,” I said then lowered my voice. “Will Tavis stay at your side?”
Madelaine nodded. “I cannot live without him,” she replied. “Be safe, and come back to me soon.”
“I will,” I told her, waved farewell to Tavis, then turned to Gillacoemgain and nodded.
“Lady Madelaine,” Gillacoemgain said politely, inclining his head to my aunt. He then whistled to his men, and the party headed out.
It was a long ride from Madelaine’s keep to the castle at Cawdor. Riding was something I always loved. After the darkness of Ynes Verleath, to be amongst the green again was sheer delight. Many times, as we passed through dense forests, when the smell of loam and pine was strong, I thought of Sid. Had she been with me, all of this would have been so much easier. But Sid was not meant for the world outside the coven. Her faerie ways no longer belonged in the realm of men. Despite our separation, however, I knew I was soul-bound to Sid. The world was not done with us yet.
“Look there,” Gillacoemgain said, pointing as we passed through an ancient forest. The trees there, mainly oaks loaded with bunches of mistletoe, loomed overhead.
I followed his gaze to see a mound amongst the trees. I shook away the memory of Banquo that was trying to insist itself on the moment.
“Fairy mound,” Gillacoemgain said. “They say the great warrior queen Cartimandua and her druid advisor are buried within.”
“Cartimandua?” the name struck my memory hard, but I shook my head.
“Cartimandua, Queen of the Brigantes,” Gillacoemgain replied. “My mother loved history. She was proud that Moray watched over Cartimandua’s bones and that of the druid who served her. This area was, and still is, partial toward the old gods, the old ways. You spent many years in the nunnery yet your father—”
“I am my father’s daughter,” I told Gillacoemgain. “And we all serve the gods, no matter their names.”
“The people of Moray will be pleased to hear their lady is so wise.”
“Would all in the kingdom were so wise,” I replied. If Gillacoemgain did take hope to the throne, I would be able to directly influence the incursion of the Christian faith in Scotland. All people should be able to worship the way they wished. The Christians would not have it so. At Gillacoemgain’s side, I could truly do good for those who held fast to the old ways. And the moment the idea struck me, I remembered what Andraste had said. Gruoch was needed in the real world. Was this why? “And what of Gillacoemgain? What gods do you serve?” I asked him.
“I serve Scotland.”
I nodded. “Then serve her we shall.”
Gillacoemgain raised an eyebrow at me. “In all things?”
“As the gods decree.”
Gillacoemgain laughed. “I think the gods decreed us to be together…not just King Malcolm.”
“Who is he compared to the gods?”
“Nothing,” Gillacoemgain said.
I loved his answer. “Indeed,” I replied.
We rode throughout the day. That night we made camp along a stream deep in the woods. I could see from the way Gillacoemgain’s men were eyeing me that they were wondering how I would take to sleeping outdoors. Thus far, despite multiple offers to stop and rest, I hadn’t asked for any special treatment. This had, it seemed, won me some respect.
When the men set about preparing a tent for me, however, I intervened.
“No need, lads,” I told them. “I can sleep under the stars the same as you.”
“No, My Lady,” one of the soldiers replied. “It’s no bother. We wouldn’t want a fine lady like you sleeping on the cold ground.”
“My dog does a good job keeping me warm,” I replied. “And there is always the Mormaer,” I replied with a wink.
He laughed.
Overhearing the conversation, Fergus, who was never far from Gillacoemgain, stepped in. “It’s no trouble, Lady Gruoch.” He turned to the solider, “See to it.”
The soldier who got back to work.
“Gillacoemgain wouldn’t have it, Lady,” Fergus told me.
Of course. It was for my husband to decide, wasn’t it? I said nothing but instead went to work building up one of the campfires. Gillacoemgain, busy organizing his men, didn’t notice. By the time he did finally find me, the small flame was already growing cheerfully.
“Corbie? Did you…” he looked from the fire to me and back again.
I shrugged. “I was cold.”
He laughed then sat down beside me at the fire. “Well arranged,” he said, looking into the flames. “Will make lots of heat and little smoke. Did you learn how to build a fire at the nunnery as well?” And this time, I head the suspicion in his voice. If Gillacoemgain knew about the old gods, did that mean he also knew about the secret covens? Epona had said there were nine such covens spread about the land. As Mormaer of Moray, did he know of other such places?
I shrugged.
“May I?” he asked then, glancing down at my sword.
I nodded and pulled Uald’s gift from the scabbard and handed the blade to him.
Gillacoemgain gripped the pommel, felt the sword’s balance, then gave the blade a wave. “This is divine craftsmanship. Who gave it to you?”
“A woman, a smith, actually, who is close to Madelaine and me.” How could I explain Uald to Gillacoemgain?
“Scáthach, I presume?” Gillacoemgain smiled. “You’ve some interesting acquaintances, Lady Corbie.”
If only he knew.
Gillacoemgain handed the sword back to me. “Perhaps you can convince her to forge a blade for me.”
“I think she would like you. She might consider it. That is a fine dagger you wear on your belt as well.”
Gillacoemgain pulled off the dagger and handed it to me. The dagger was very old but well-made. There was a strange flower symbol on the pommel. It looked Pictish.
“It’s lovely.” I handed it back to him.
“It comes with a long story. It will suffice for now to say it has been in my family for a long time.”
I nodded, eyeing the dagger once more. The craftsmanship was superb. It reminded me of the torcs from Ynes Verleath. Where had Gillacoemgain found such an ancient piece of weaponry?
Gillacoemgain motioned to the nearby tent. “Your lodging is prepared, whenever you’re ready.”
“I’ll stay under the stars a bit more.”
“We are here amongst my men only. Perhaps…perhaps I can join you this evening?”
My stomach knotted. “Of course,” I whispered.
It was then that one of Gillacoemgain’s men pulled out his pipes and played a tune. The sweet melody washed over the forest. We ate a meager meal as the men talked and the piper played. Soon, the gathering dispersed, and the men took their rest, lying down beside the fire.
Taking my hand, Gillacoemgain led me to the tent. The men, I noticed, paid their Mormaer no mind. At least, they pretended not to notice.
Inside, they had laid a bear fur on the ground and heaped it with blankets. Once inside, Gillacoemgain embraced me gently then pulled me into a kiss. His mouth tasted of wine, his lips soft and warm. I caught that sweet scent of lavender and cedar once more. I fell into the kiss and allowed myself to be with him. Despite the rumors, he seemed to be a good man. And if he wasn’t, then the raven knew what to do.
“Corbie,” he whispered, stroking my long hair.
Gently, he undid the laces on the back of my dress then pulled it over my head. I slid off my riding breeches then stood naked before him. I shoved away all thoughts of Banquo and of Duncan. I had to. I closed the lid on those feelings and tried to be there, only with Gillacoemgain, in that moment. Gillacoemgain slid off his clothes then gently laid me down. My hands danced across his strong back. I then stroked his arms, feeling his muscles, his body, as he drizzl
ed kisses down my neck. He then gently kissed my nipples while his hands stroked my body.
In spite of the violence I had faced, in spite of everything, my body responded eagerly to him. Any woman would have found him attractive. I knew that my mind was my enemy so I tried to rule myself. One day, Duncan would pay for what he’d done. In the meantime, I would give Moray an heir and take control over my heart and mind once more. I closed down the thoughts tripping over themselves and emptied my head. I let myself feel his flesh and take what pleasure I could.
He entered me gently, still careful with his young bride. The sensation sent me spinning, and my mind went to Banquo. I closed my eyes and shut away the thought. I tried to breathe in Gillacoemgain, to honor and respect the spirit inside him. The only problem was, the spirit within me wanted only one man. Despite my best effort, I made love to Gillacoemgain while dreaming of Banquo, knowing my true love’s soul was lost to me.
Chapter 9
We arrived the next morning at the ancient fortress of Cawdor. The keep, built upon the site of an old Pictish stronghold, was constructed of pale gray stone. We rode our horses through the gate to the ward.
“Welcome home, Lady Gruoch,” Fergus said as he helped me dismount.
Gillacoemgain’s household rushed outside to meet us, and the scene soon turned into a busy flurry of activity as horses were led away to the stables, servants headed inside with my belongings, and news was delivered.
A small man wearing a red tunic came to Gillacoemgain’s side and buzzed about him like a bee. He unloaded all manner of information on the Mormaer as soon as Gillacoemgain dismounted. Gillacoemgain directed his men as he listened with one ear to the small man. Finally he said, “Enough, Artos. I must see to my wife,” he said then turned me. “Gruoch, this is Artos. He is my councilor here at Cawdor.”
“Lady Gruoch.” The man bowed deeply.
The raven eyed him and decided she did not like this man.
“Artos.”
“Corbie, we’ve employed a maid for you,” Gillacoemgain said then, waving over a red-haired woman who had been amongst the other members of the household. “This is Ute.”
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