Inside Austin’s room, they worked together to undress him. It was a moment Abby would treasure, remember forever. She accepted that she had to tell Jack the truth. But she couldn’t get the words out. Not yet. She wanted tonight. One more night.
“I have an idea,” Jack whispered close behind her.
On a sigh, she turned in his embrace. “Is it relaxing?”
“Not too.” In response, she murmured something against his lips. Jack didn’t know what she’d said. It didn’t matter. As her arms coiled around his neck, he tasted the sweetness of her lips, then lifted her into his arms.
Before they reached her room, he was ready for her. It took effort, control. Even as he wanted to lose himself in the moment, in her, he wanted to give her time. But she fueled him as she tugged at his shirt. As she yanked at his belt buckle and shoved at his jeans, an urgency swept over him.
In the shadowy darkness of the room, he lowered her to the bed. Her dark hair fanned the white pillowcase, making her look more fragile.
He didn’t want to feel weak. He didn’t want his mind muddled. But her leg wrapped around his, and she was against him. She tasted warm. Enticing. He heard her moan as she molded herself into him. Sensation, a sweet gnawing, rippled through him. With the tip of his tongue, he slowly grazed delicate skin and tasted her—touched her. Nothing seemed like enough. His mind filled with her scent, her taste, her caress. He wanted all he could have with her.
“Love me,” Abby whispered. Her heart thundering, she clutched at his arms. She wanted no time to catch her breath. With desire lapping at her, she strained to bind them even closer. All the doubts, all the fears, were forgotten. Her fingers gliding over him, she wrapped her legs around his buttocks and took him into her. Through a cloud of sensation, she heard his harsh breaths as she moved at first slowly, then faster with him. Passion consumed her, controlled her. Pleasure filling her, she drifted under desire’s spell. Breathless now, she closed her eyes as the wildness—the frenzy began.
Chapter Ten
Staying the night with Abby had never entered Jack’s mind—not with Austin in the other room. So he’d gone back to his place and after waking up he took a morning ride, then helped Guy repair a hayride wagon. Though he’d stayed clear of any decision making about the ranch, he’d willingly helped Guy or Ray or one of the ranch hands with everyday jobs. He believed Ray could handle the ranch for now, and retire when Sam returned from his honeymoon.
At the edge of the ranch buildings, Jack dismounted and led Roper toward the stable. But if Sam had envisioned a different kind of ending, that was his problem for becoming prone to wishful thinking. In Jack’s mind, all that had been wrong between them still existed.
Passing a corral that was used for foals, he saw several ranch hands gathered near. One of them raised his head, and then the others did the same. Jack knew he’d become the hot topic. A hand named Leo said something to the others, then hustled over. “Sorry to bother you, Jack. But I—uh, we—” He gestured at the other ranch hands. “We think something is wrong. Ray ain’t around.”
At what point would the men accept that he wasn’t their boss anymore, that the comings and goings at the ranch weren’t his business? “Find Sam.”
Leo fell in step beside him. “Ray hasn’t come out of his place yet. That’s not like him.” Worry was clearly etched in the man’s face. “It’s past daybreak, and I can’t just barge into his place.”
Jack would have liked to believe Ray had overslept, but not once in more than three decades of working for Sam had he ever done that. Jack handed the horse’s reins to another ranch hand standing nearby. “Take him for me.”
Behind the stable area was a small cottage where Ray had lived since he’d come to the ranch over thirty years ago. On the wooden porch of the white house with its blue shutters, Jack knocked on the door. “Have you got anyone looking for Guy?” he asked Leo. If something was wrong or had happened to Ray, Guy, as his nephew, needed to be told.
“Andy went to get him,” Leo said.
Jack rapped again, then tried the door. Twice he jiggled the doorknob to confirm that the door was locked. Leaving it, he walked to the kitchen window. Beneath his feet, the boards of the old porch squeaked. After a look in the window revealed nothing, he returned to the door and slammed a foot against it as a sense of urgency rushed through him. A step from the bedroom doorway, he saw Ray sprawled across the bed. “He’s here,” Jack called out, and rushed to him.
“Don’t feel so good,” Ray muttered when Jack bent over him. “I got up, but—” Sweating, he looked pale. “I know I’m late.”
“Jeez, stop worrying about that.” Concern rippled through him for his good friend. “Do you hurt?”
“Pain right here.” He jabbed a tanned and brown-spotted, leathered-looking hand at his chest.
Jack already had the phone in his hand. “Think he’s having a heart attack,” he told the 911 operator.
Within two hours, Ray was resting more peacefully after receiving a blood thinner and beta-blocker to dissolve a blood clot. Once Wendy and Guy arrived to stay with Ray, Jack left to go back to the ranch. There he found Sam, recently returned from a one-day trip to Flagstaff.
“I can’t believe it.” Disbelief cut deep lines into Sam’s face as Jack told him about Ray.
“We should go to the hospital now,” Laura said, clutching Sam’s hand.
Jack noticed Abby sitting on a chair in the corner of Sam’s office, cradling a sleeping Jodi. He’d wondered who was watching Wendy and Guy’s daughter. “They could use some more support.” Looking back at his father, he saw his hesitancy. Jack guessed why. “Go,” he said. He figured he owed both men. Ray had been there when Sam had placed Jack on his first horse. Ray had taught him to lasso a calf. He’d ridden alongside Sam and Ray in a roundup. “I’ll keep an eye on everything.”
Abby exchanged a quick look with her aunt and felt hope rise. Despite Jack’s insistence that he wanted no involvement with the ranch business, when he was needed he’d offered to help.
Abby cared for Jodi until Wendy’s sister came for her. At one-thirty, after getting Austin settled in a wood-carving class, she met her aunt in the lobby for a drive to town to pick up their dresses for the wedding.
Beside her in the car, her aunt opened her purse and hunted inside it. “I left Sam at the hospital. Ray won’t need a bypass operation.”
“I’m glad to hear that. He’s been such a sweet man to me.” Abby kept her eyes on the truck ahead of them.
“Sam and I thought about postponing the wedding, but we couldn’t call it off with out-of-state guests already here, staying in motels.”
“I’m sure Ray didn’t expect you to.”
Her aunt withdrew a tissue and dabbed at perspiration above her upper lip. “Sam told me that was what Ray said the moment he walked into his room. He insisted we go ahead with the wedding.” She looked as if she was trying hard to keep her spirits bright. “But tomorrow, when the wedding is over, we’ll go see him, take him a slice of wedding cake.”
“Was anything said about when he might come home?”
“Three or four days.” Worry clouded her aunt’s eyes. “Sam and I have decided not to take our honeymoon.”
Abby hated to see anything lessen her aunt’s happiness. “Oh, Aunt Laura, Ray would want you to.”
Her aunt sent her a quick smile. “Yes, I think he would, too, but we really don’t have a choice. Sam can’t get away. With Ray ill, who would run the ranch?”
Jack was the obvious one. “What did Jack say?”
“He doesn’t want to take over the ranch. It hurts Sam so that they don’t get along well. I wish I could help.”
No one could, Abby thought. Trust had been lost.
A side trip in town to a small boutique for panty hose and a long, white slip brought them back to the ranch at three forty-five. Abby and her aunt joined Sam and the others poolside for the wedding rehearsal.
As ever, Laura had recaptured her brig
ht spirit. Happy and smiling, her aunt took her place beside Sam and listened dutifully to the minister’s instructions. Afterward, with a hand on Austin’s shoulder, she assured him, “You get the second piece of the wedding cake tomorrow.”
The rehearsal ended, and everyone gathered in the dining room for dinner. Sitting with Jack and Austin, Abby let herself pretend for one night that they were a family. They seemed like one as they talked and laughed and shared a taste of some tidbit from the other’s plate.
While Jack and Austin were talking to an old friend of Sam’s, Abby conversed with one of the lodge guests about the Boston symphony.
Next time she broke free of the woman expounding on her cruise to Mexico, Abby saw Jack at another table talking to Wendy and Guy who’d just returned from the hospital. After a few more minutes of polite listening, Abby excused herself.
Standing beside Jack, Austin had curled an arm around Jack’s neck as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
Abby settled on a nearby chair. “What did Guy say about Ray? Is he all right?”
He heard anxiousness in her voice and covered her hand with his own. “Better than that. He should be home in two days. He has new medicine and an exercise program.”
“I thought he had one from the last time.”
“He did. This time he’s going to follow it.” Jack chuckled. “That’s what Guy said.” Beside him, he felt Austin inch closer and raised his hand from the boy’s back to ruffle his hair. To have the small body so near was a new and different feeling, a good one, damn good. “Did you ever get your ice cream?”
“Uh-huh.” Austin answered on a nod. “Remember when you said you’d show me how to shoe a horse? Could we do that tomorrow?”
Jack had intended to do that today, but Ray’s illness had kept him preoccupied. “Can’t. Tomorrow is the wedding. We’ll do it the day after,” he promised. Jack watched him dart a troubled look at Abby. “What’s the problem?”
“We’ll be leaving in the morning,” Abby answered. Even saying the words wasn’t easy. She watched the play of emotions, the disappointment, that had stolen Austin’s smile. Leaving meant letting go of something he’d found at the ranch, something he’d never had, a man who seemed to want to be part of his life, who’d spent time teaching him, listening to him, holding him.
“When’s your flight?”
“In the morning. Before eleven,” Abby answered.
Jack called himself an idiot. Of course, they’d be leaving. He’d made plans to be in Cheyenne for a rodeo, hadn’t he? And they’d be back in Boston. He was still getting a grip on that news when a sense of loss hit him. The warmth was suddenly gone from his side. As if he’d never been next to him, Austin had left. “I’ll figure out some time to show him how to shoe a horse,” Jack said.
Abby sent him a thank-you smile for understanding how important this was to the boy. Austin would have bragging rights when he returned to the city. She looked to see Austin now standing by a group of friends. Her heart went out to him. He was his mother’s child. He laughed, but the joy never reached his eyes. How often had she put on a brave face when she’d had to leave a friend just made? On the day Austin was born, she’d vowed he’d have roots, stability, and years with friends to avoid too many moments like this. That was a promise she planned to keep.
Before guests began to leave, it was after ten o’clock. Running out of energy, Austin had found a chair away from everyone. Slouched on it, he repeatedly yawned.
“He’s had it,” Jack said. He’d already decided on a new plan. If he could rouse Austin early enough in the morning, he’d show him how to shoe the horse then.
Abby checked her wristwatch. It was later than she’d thought. “I’d better take him upstairs.”
Jack released his hold on her. “I’ll meet you up there.”
“Okay.” She needed time alone with him. Tonight, seeing the way Austin had been with Jack, forced a decision on her. She had to tell Jack the truth. After saying good-night to her blissful aunt and to several others, Abby urged Austin toward their rooms.
Before she had the door unlocked, Jack arrived with a tray from the kitchen containing what he called “real coffee.” She left him sitting on one of the sofas while she helped Austin get ready for bed. Tired, nearly asleep in his clothes, he flopped back on the bed, letting her undress him.
“He’s out?” Jack whispered close behind her.
“Definitely.” Abby swayed as Jack snaked an arm around the front of her waist and drew her back against him.
“You feel wonderful,” he murmured into the curve of her neck.
Oh, how she wished she could stop time, freeze the moment. But there was no backing away now. She had to tell him.
The tension in her body was so slight that Jack thought he’d imagined it. then the small of her back seemed to draw inward. “Hey.” He pulled back, touched her shoulders to turn her. In the shadowed room, he searched her face. “Why the frown?” he asked about the deepening line between her eyebrows.
Desperately she wanted to cling to him, beg him not to be angry. Oh, Jack, forgive me. Please. forgive me.
“Who are you worrying about? Your aunt’s happy. Ray’s going to be okay. And—oh, yeah.” He smiled, hoping his news would make her smile. “Guy’s leaving rodeo. So you don’t have to worry about him and Wendy. Earlier, he told me that he’s staying here.”
“I’m glad.” She meant that, but it was so hard to feel anything for anyone else at the moment.
“I thought he should have quit.” As she stepped away, into the other room, her tension passed to him. There was something—something in the air. His gut knotted because she wasn’t acting like herself. “But it wasn’t my business to tell him that,” he said absently.
With deliberation, she placed space between them. Now, Abby, she berated herself. Don’t be a coward. Tell him. “It isn’t easy having a child in your life when you want to rodeo. A child can slow you down.”
Jack’s frown deepened. Was she trying to tell him that she didn’t think the life he led was right for a kid? “I’ve seen others travel with their families. But Wendy wanted to settle down. Guy needed to face that. He needed to think about Jodi.” He waited for her gaze to meet his. Though several feet separated them, he saw the glistening of tears in her eyes. “What’s wrong?”
Guilt enveloped her. He would never forgive her. He’d never understand. “What if he...?” She choked out the words. “What if Austin was yours?”
“What if...?” He wasn’t sure what she was asking. Did she want to know if he loved Austin enough to sacrifice for him? More than once, he’d tried to rationalize his feelings about the boy. “The more I’m with Austin, the more I forget he’s someone else’s. Is that what you’re really asking?”
Abby’s heart tightened. “No.” Oh, God. Tears slipped out. She couldn’t stop them. “Jack, I’m sorry. I really am. I should have told you. I know I should have.”
“Told me...?” He didn’t need her to say more. In a heartbeat, everything in the room faded except her face. He stared hard at her, sensing the words not yet said. Maybe she was joking, or testing him. No smile on her lips. No tease in her eyes. In them, shining with tears, he saw the truth. “Abby, he isn’t—” He couldn’t finish asking her the question.
It hurt to breathe. She nodded. “He’s your son.” He looked stunned, standing still as if frozen, so still she thought he’d stopped breathing. Then suddenly he spun away and charged toward the other room. What was he going to do? Her heart pounding with uncertainty, she reached the doorway to see him standing beside the bed. simply staring down at Austin.
Stupid, Jack mused. He’d seen Abby in the boy’s face, but the smile was—Sam’s, his own, he realized now. Why hadn’t he let himself see that before this? Maybe because he liked the boy, because, he thought almost painfully now, he loved Abby, and it was easier to believe the boy was another man’s than to imagine she’d kept them apart. So he hadn’t allowed himself to see
the truth.
Anger rose, settled in his throat, tightening it. Not wanting to wake Austin, he crossed back to Abby at the doorway, took her arm and propelled her to the other room. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked in an angry whisper. He released her before he lost good sense. “Why? Just tell me why, dammit. Did you know you were pregnant before you left?”
“Yes, I knew.” Abby looked for words to defend her actions. “Jack, think back. Remember how it was. You told me about your mother.”
He was in no mood for verbally dancing around each other. “What does she have to do with this?”
He didn’t understand, or wouldn’t. “I didn’t think you wanted a child—ever.”
Jack avoided her eyes. “That wasn’t true anymore.”
“I didn’t know that.” Some of the heartbreak she’d felt years ago returned. “I was pregnant, and the man I loved had left. No goodbye. Nothing. Why would I want to find you, tell you I was pregnant? To make you stay with me? You didn’t think enough of me to stay. I didn’t want to trap you.”
“I told you what happened. I told you about the divorce papers. You could have told me the truth days ago.”
“Mom?”
Austin’s sleepy voice made Jack turn around, and made Abby jump.
Half-asleep, Austin stood in the doorway rubbing his eyes. “Are you yelling?”
“No, sweetheart.” Abby was already by him, kneeling to his level and touching his shoulders. How would he feel about the news that Jack was his father?
For the second time in as many minutes, she jumped as Jack shut the door hard behind him. Her arms around Austin, she cuddled him to her. “You should go back to sleep, honey.”
“Mom—”
“Shh.” She spoke softly, aware how attuned he was to her moods. No matter what happened with Jack, she would somehow protect Austin from being hurt by either of them.
Leaving her didn’t help. Jack swore under his breath while he descended the stairs. He couldn’t walk away from the ache within him. The two people he’d loved the most had deceived him. He was so damn tired of the lies. Hers. His father’s. People he loved. People he trusted. Damn, how could Abby have done this to them?
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