“All right. All right.” Wendy raised her hands in surrender.
Abby left them and rushed up the steps to her aunt’s room.
Standing before the mirror, Laura looked so pretty. She’d chosen a long-sleeve, tea-length, champagne-colored slip dress with lace overlay.
“I’m feeling giddy,” she admitted on a girlish laugh.
“You’re supposed to be.” Positioned behind her, Abby fussed over the thin wreath of blue forget-me-nots and sprigs of baby’s breath in Laura’s hair. “Now you have something blue. Do you have something old?”
Laura swiveled on the stool and took Abby’s hands. “Something is wrong, isn’t it?”
Abby fiddled with the long, champagne-colored ribbons trailing from her aunt’s bouquet. She thought she’d hidden her sadness. But Laura had always been able to read her moods well. “They both know. Jack and Austin.”
An anxious frown wiped away the glow on the older woman’s face. “You told them.”
“Yes.” And my world fell apart.
Laura tightened her grip. “Abby, that’s best. It really is.”
Though Abby hadn’t thought so during that moment of revelation, she knew her aunt was right. It would have been wrong and unfair to keep Austin and Jack apart.
“Was Jack terribly angry?”
Desperately she’d been trying to forget how cold and distant he’d looked before leaving her. “Terribly.”
Laura pulled her into her arms. “If he loves you, his anger won’t last.”
Abby doubted that wishful thinking would work. Love didn’t always conquer all. “Now, do you have something borrowed?” she asked, to end the melancholy mood on what should have been the happiest day of her aunt’s life.
Laura pointed with a fingertip at her ear. “That would be your pearl earrings.”
Abby touched Laura’s shoulders, then leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “So, you’re all set.”
“And so—so nervous.” Laura inhaled deeply. “Abby, I feel as if I’m a teenager. I swear, if I start giggling in the middle of the ceremony—”
“You won’t.”
“I could. Nervousness and giggles are a family trait. Uncle Gregory’s wife giggled at his funeral.”
Abby had never met Uncle Gregory or his wife. In fact, until she was nineteen, she’d seen her aunt only a few times during the years she was growing up. She and her mother had constantly moved. Only after her mother’s death had she and Laura gotten so close.
“Oh, Abby.” Her happiness overwhelming her, Laura caught her hand again. “I’m so happy. Sam is so wonderful.”
She’s glowing, Abby mused. “Yes, he is.”
“I know you were concerned about me moving here, but I don’t need five-star restaurants, and the theater and art galleries to be happy. I need Sam.”
She’d felt the same way about Jack, never doubting she’d find happiness at the ranch as long as she was with him.
While Laura made a last-minute stop in the washroom, Abby wandered downstairs. She’d barely stepped outside when Austin skidded to a stop in front of her.
“Come on.” His smaller hand caught hers. “Wait until you see how they decorated the car.”
Abby let him tug her along. “Sam’s car?”
“He’s my grandpa.” He turned wide eyes up at her. “Did you know that?”
“Yes, I know.” She hadn’t mentioned Sam to him, believing that learning he had a father was enough to absorb. Abby assumed he’d talked to Jack and he’d told Austin about Sam being his grandpa.
“Isn’t it neat, Mom?”
Abby viewed the car. Laughter rippled from her. She couldn’t imagine Sam and her aunt going anywhere in that car. Multicolored balloons tied to the car’s antenna bobbed in the air. Someone had printed the words Just Married across the back window, and just below it, Lovebirds on Board. Several sets of mismatched cowboy boots and a collection of cowbells were tied to the rear bumper. “Nothing like being inconspicuous.”
Austin turned a puzzled look up at her. “Huh?”
“Never mind, honey.”
“Isn’t it neat?” he repeated, definitely impressed.
“Yes, it’s neat.” Abby bent over to pin on his boutonniere.
“Mom, I gotta go and help Guy.” Impatiently he danced a two-step in place.
She made quick work of the job. “All done.” She stood back, then watched him dash off to help tie on more balloons.
Fighting her own low spirits, she spent time double-checking everything, including how many folding chairs the catering-company workers had set up in each row near the pool. Sunlight glimmered off the water, a warm breeze lightly flapped at the canvas of the white tents located for dining beyond the pool area.
Abby looked over the flower arrangements, eyed the tables set with white linen and crystal and took time to admire the multitiered wedding cake that Wendy had made.
As guests arrived and were seated, she slipped into the lodge to join her nervous aunt. “It’s time,” Abby told her.
Standing just inside the door, Laura blew out a long breath. “I’m ready.”
“And beautiful,” Abby said. She gave her a quick hug before opening the terrace doors. The whinnying of horses accompanied the sound of music as Abby left the house.
Ahead of Laura, she moved past the rows of seated guests. With each step, she felt Jack’s eyes on her, but she avoided meeting them. Close by his side, Austin was holding the pillow with the rings. Regret drained her. She’d spent the night and this morning wishing she’d done everything different, wishing she could go back to the magical moments eight years ago—a day ago.
Despite such thoughts, she made certain her smile never wavered. A nervous-looking Sam, standing beneath the arched trellis decorated with white tea roses, grinned back at her.
Abby took her place, then in response to the playing of the wedding processional, she turned, along with everyone else, to watch the bride.
Looking radiant, her aunt glided toward Sam. Abby dealt with the tears smarting her eyes as the minister began the wedding ceremony. At the appropriate moment, Jack’s hand curled over Austin’s shoulder as a signal right before he was to step forward with the rings.
The ceremony was short, but heartwarming, and as Laura and Sam finished saying their vows, then kissed, the crowd clapped and cheered. The photographer clicked away while his partner handled a video camera. The sun shone brighter.
Stepping forward, Abby fiercely hugged her aunt. “I’m so happy for you.” To let other well-wishers offer congratulations, she turned away. Briefly she stood face-to-face with Jack, but didn’t allow herself more than a second of eye contact. This was one of the most important days of her aunt’s life. No matter how angry he was, she couldn’t let him vent his wrath today and ruin these moments.
She passed time talking to several guests and sampling appetizers. While some people headed for the food table, others drew closer to the country band. Abby accompanied Austin down the buffet line and settled him at a table. When, as best man, Jack led everyone in a toast, glasses clinked along with a chorus of good wishes.
“The bride looks beautiful,” a woman behind her gushed.
The last time Abby had heard those words, she’d been at Cody Slater’s wedding. A rodeo buddy of Jack’s, he and his bride had gotten married on their horses and served Tex-Mex food at the reception. Along with Jack, Abby had wrapped pink crepe paper around the horse saddles of the bride and groom and had attached balloons to the bridles.
It had been an unusual but fun wedding, and she and Jack had laughed while munching on tacos and burritos and barbecue ribs. Beneath the stars, they’d danced in a meadow of flowers along with other guests. Then they’d made love in the hayloft after the guests left. Everything had seemed so simple then. Everything in the world had seemed perfect.
“The wedding was perfect, wasn’t it?”
Abby smiled that the words coming from one of Sam’s neighbors echoed her thoughts. “Yes,
it was.” In search of Austin, she turned around. Instead, she saw Jack weaving his way toward her.
Her heart hammering in her chest, she willed herself to meet his eyes. She’d been preparing for accusations, for more anger and resentment.
“Come on,” he said so softly she barely heard him.
As he slipped a hand beneath her elbow, Abby let him steer her away from the crowd. That he was talking to her amazed her. Clearly he planned to be civil. For that, she was grateful.
In silence, she moved with him, waiting until they stopped near the back of the lodge. Shoulders back, dread heavy in her, she raised her face to him. Because there was nothing else she could do, she spoke what was in her heart. “I know I should have never kept Austin away from you. But you were gone.” All she could do was explain the feelings she’d had nearly a decade ago. “I thought you didn’t love me. I really believed that you didn’t want any child, that you didn’t want me.”
So much had happened to Jack since he’d last talked to her. So much made more sense to him. “I know I led you to believe that,” he said. Because of him, her life had been more difficult. “I’m sorry, Abby.” He seemed to be saying that often lately. “A lot of what went wrong was my fault.”
Nothing he said could have shocked her more. She’d expected anger. “Oh, Jack.” She closed her eyes as his arms wrapped around her. Relief slipping over her, she struggled against an urge to cry, and clung, knowing she loved him just as much now as she had eight years ago. “I thought—I didn’t think you’d forgive me.”
He wished for the years he hadn’t had with Austin, would always regret missing them. But during moments of reasoning, he realized she couldn’t know that all he’d said to her about no children had changed. Time with Sam last night made him aware how much a parent might do to keep their child from feeling unwanted.
With his quietness, Abby drew back to look up at him. “You talked to Austin?”
Eyes, dark and shadowed with troubled thoughts, stared up at him. “I didn’t think he would know so soon.”
“I never meant to keep him from you. Austin needs a father—” She paused, measured her words. “But I want him to know that you’ll be near for him.”
He couldn’t fault her for wanting to protect their son from a father who didn’t seem willing to commit to anyone. And it pained him to ask the next question. “You don’t trust me, do you?” He didn’t wait for an answer. He saw the truth in her eyes. He wanted to pull her close, hold her until she believed him. “I wouldn’t hurt Austin. I won’t. I promise.” He thought about the emptiness he’d felt without her. What he wanted was here, right in front of him. “Abby, we could be a family.”
Her heart stopped at the words she’d only dreamed of hearing him say. A family.
“I love you,” he said, “I’ve always loved you. I want to many you.” She said nothing, did nothing. She kept staring at him with such sadness that all he longed to do was hold her, comfort, and he didn’t even know why. “Say something.” He realized that he’d never expected this reaction from her. “You love me, don’t you?”
Heart aching, she pulled her hand free of his. “I love you. You know I do.” Denying what she felt had never entered her mind. “But this isn’t about me.” Eight years ago, she would have flown into his arms, laughing. Eight years ago, she’d only had to think about a young girl’s fantasy of marriage and children with the man of her dreams. Eight years ago, she wasn’t a mother. She had a responsibility now to another person. He came first—always. “We have more to consider.” How odd, she thought. She’d expected his anger, not a declaration of love when she saw him today. If only he’d said those words to her eight years ago. She’d have said yes then without hesitation. “I can’t be with you, Jack,” she said softly.
Chapter Twelve
Call it arrogance, but Jack had thought by now that she would be in his arms, that she’d have agreed to spend the rest of her life with him. “Can’t?”
“This isn’t about you and me anymore,” she tried to explain. “Loving each other isn’t enough.”
“Do you think I don’t understand your concern for Austin?”
Abby averted her eyes to avoid seeing the questions—the hurt—in his. Behind her, she heard oohs and aahs. She looked over her shoulder to see Sam removing the blue garter from her aunt’s slim leg. Soon they would cut the cake. “We need to go back.”
Despite her words, she didn’t move. Neither did Jack. He wondered if either of them would have if Wendy hadn’t come near.
Oblivious to the tension in the air, she laughingly hooked her arm in Abby’s. “Come on. Laura is going to throw the bouquet.”
Jack watched Wendy pull her along and away from him. Had she refused him just to make him suffer because he’d left her eight years ago? Was she getting even? Mentally he shook his head. That wasn’t Abby’s way. She had an open and generous heart. The last thing she’d do was hurt someone else deliberately, even someone who deserved it, like him.
From a distance, he watched Laura throw the bouquet into the arms of the local librarian, a thirty-something woman who was being courted by the town’s sheriff. Together the bridal couple cut the cake, then fed a taste of it to each other.
Nothing made sense suddenly. He loved Abby. She loved him. So how could she walk away? Softly he cursed himself. Had she wondered that same question on that night he’d left her?
Damn, he’d hurt her. Until that moment, until she’d turned away from him, he hadn’t realized how much he’d hurt her. A pressure filled his chest as if a band was tightening, squeezing it. God, Abby, I’m sorry.
Music played, guests danced. For Abby, the celebration stretched like an eternity. She wished she could curl up somewhere. Warmth behind her eyes warned her of tears. Of course she wanted to marry him.
Of course she couldn’t.
As guests began to leave, she felt free to go to her room. Austin balked about ending the day, even though it was past his bedtime, but Abby reminded him they were returning home tomorrow.
“I wish we could stay,” he whined.
So did she. But wishing for something wasn’t enough. She’d made a decision, the best one, she believed, for Austin’s sake.
Heavy pewter clouds covered the sky the next morning, matching her spirits. She and Jack couldn’t have a second chance no matter how much they loved each other. She truly believed that love wasn’t enough anymore.
Aware that Sam and her aunt were leaving for the airport at eight-thirty, she dressed in a rush, then hurried downstairs.
On the lodge steps, guests and employees waited with packages of birdseed to throw at the bride and groom.
“I think this is so romantic,” a female guest said to another. “We never expected to be a part of so much romance when we came here for our vacation.”
“The wedding was beautiful,” the other woman said.
Abby’s attention shifted from them to her aunt and Sam standing on the steps. She saw Jack, in the doorway behind them. Alongside him stood their son.
“I had a wonderful night.” Laura whispered in her ear.
Abby couldn’t help laughing. When she drew back, she saw pure delight in her aunt’s eyes. Despite her personal sadness, Abby felt such joy for the couple. When she’d come to the ranch, she’d had misgivings. But the love, so obvious between them, had taken away her doubts long ago.
“I’ve promised Sam that I’ll do a hula for him when we get to Hawaii,” Laura said, then giggled softly before stepping back.
Having overheard, Sam slipped an arm around Laura’s waist and urged her down the steps. “I’m counting on it.”
“Have fun,” Abby called to them.
Her face bright with glee, Laura gave another wave. “We will.”
Before they reached the bottom of the steps, guests lining the stairs and the way to the car showered them with birdseed.
“They look so happy,” a guest beside her said.
“Yes, they do.” Abby
noticed that Jack had carried the luggage to the car and now stood near Sam. Body language said it all. They were closer, their shoulders touching, Sam’s head inclined toward Jack’s as they laughed about something Sam had said. There had been a change between them since yesterday. Before her were the loving father and son she’d met years ago.
Abby watched Laura and Sam drive away until dust obscured their car. With only an hour before she and Austin had to leave for the airport, she needed to remind Austin to stay close to the lodge.
He looked sad at having to say goodbye. She would need to remind him that when he came back to the ranch, one of his new friends might be vacationing here again. Because, of course, he’d come back. This was where his grandpa and their aunt lived. This was his father’s home.
Clutching the birdseed netting, she pivoted to reenter the lodge and found herself face-to-face with Jack.
“We’re going to talk.” Whatever was wrong between them, he planned to fix it. During a night that had stretched so long he’d nearly left his bed to dress and go to her room, he’d thought of a dozen questions. But pounding on her door at three in the morning bordered on stupidity. After everything he’d done to her in the past, he didn’t need to make her the focal point of gossip, too.
Then this morning something clicked in his brain. She’d said loving each other wasn’t enough. And it finally hit him what she meant.
Abby curled her fingers over the banister. All morning she’d tried to prepare for the moment when she’d face Jack again. “Jack, nothing has changed since last night.”
“You’re wrong. A lot has changed. I know that I was an idiot yesterday. I said marry me and offered you nothing. I know you need a home, security.” He’d expected a smile then, some hint of joy, but he saw no light in her eyes. Even as he felt nerves tightening within him, he went on, “What if I said I wasn’t going back to rodeo? What if I planned to stay at the ranch?”
Abby heard him and still didn’t believe what he’d said. There wasn’t anything he could have said to her that would have whipped as much confusion through her. “Why are you doing this?”
Forever Mine Page 15