Jack let her explore for a few more minutes, then shook his head. ‘If we carry on this way, I’ll be fit for nothing. And then we’ll both end up feeling extremely lonely and frustrated.’
Alison blushed, and he laughed as he dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose. ‘I love it when you blush like that. I don’t think I’ve met anyone who’s so wonderfully innocent.’
‘I’m not a complete innocent,’ she protested, but he shushed her with a finger on her lips.
‘Yes, you are, and it’s a compliment, too. I find your lack of artifice a real turn-on.’
He kissed her again, proving to her in the most effective way possible that he was telling her the truth. Alison had always believed that her lack of experience had been a hindrance in the past, but suddenly it felt like a blessing rather than something to be ashamed of. She kissed him back as passion surged between them, long, drugging kisses that filled her with joy. It was only when he started to unbutton her blouse that the first doubts crept in and she shivered.
It had been a long time since a man had seen her naked, and she was suddenly afraid that Jack wouldn’t like what he saw. Gareth had been scathing about her figure after she’d had Sam; he’d even told her that it had been one of the reasons why he’d had an affair. She was terrified that Jack would feel the same way when he saw her undressed. After all, her breasts weren’t as firm as they’d been, and she had a couple of stretch marks on her hips from carrying Sam. What if Jack was repulsed by the sight of her? What would she do then…?
‘It’s OK, sweet heart. If you want me to stop, you only have to say so.’
The understanding in Jack’s voice brought a rush of tears to her eyes and he gathered her close, murmuring to her as he stroked her hair. ‘Shush, now. It’s all right. There’s no need to cry. I didn’t mean to scare you.’
‘It isn’t you,’ she mumbled through a mouthful of pale blue cotton.
‘Then what is it?’ He set her away from him, his gaze very gentle as he looked at her in concern.
‘It’s me. I…I’m afraid you’ll think that I…I’m ugly.’
‘Ugly?’ he repeated, and she lowered her head because she couldn’t bear to look at him while she explained.
‘I’ve had a baby, and I’m not…well, I don’t look the same as I did before I was pregnant,’ she whispered.
‘And you think I won’t like what I see?’
‘Yes. My ex-husband told me that was why he had an affair…’ She tailed off, then dredged up the very last drop of her courage. She needed to be completely honest with Jack about this. ‘He said he couldn’t bear to make love to me after I’d had Sam.’
Jack swore loudly, then hurriedly apologised. ‘I’m sorry. That’s not the kind of language I would normally use around you.’ He tilted her chin and made her look at him. ‘I don’t know exactly what your ex said to you, and I don’t want to know either. However, take it from me that it was a pack of lies. No man stops loving a woman because her body has changed. It doesn’t work like that.’
Tears spilled from her eyes and trickled down her cheeks. ‘But you haven’t seen what I look like yet.’
‘No, and that’s something I intend to rectify immediately.’
He kissed her softly, then laid her down on the pillows and carried on unfastening her blouse, punctuating the process with kisses along the way. When he came to the final button, he paused to smile at her. ‘It’s going to be wonderful, Alison. You are wonderful.’
Alison wanted to believe him, but she was holding her breath as he parted the blouse and slid it off her shoulders. Her bra came next, then her skirt and her panties, and she was naked. She squeezed her eyes tight shut because she couldn’t bear to watch his face. ‘You are so beautiful.’
The awe in his voice brought her eyes open and she stared at him in amazement. ‘Beautiful?’
‘Yes.’ He couldn’t seem to drag his gaze away from her. His hands were shaking as he cupped her breasts and allowed their weight to settle in his palms. ‘You look like a woman should look—all soft curves and even softer skin—’
He broke off and gulped, raising his head so that she saw the desire that had tightened the bones of his face, and every single horrible thing Gareth had said to her was erased from her mind with one single stroke. Jack couldn’t look at her this way if he didn’t want her!
She sat up and put her arms around his neck, held him to her and gloried in the wonder of being able to do such a thing. When he started to unfasten his shirt she helped him, laughing when he managed to rip off a couple of the buttons in his haste.
‘Shall I do it for you?’ she offered with a teasing smile.
Jack sat as still as statue while she undid the rest of the buttons. He didn’t move a muscle when she undid his cufflinks either. However, when she reached for the buckle on his belt, he stopped her.
‘I think I’d better do the rest.’
He kissed her quickly, then stood up and stripped off his trousers and his under wear, leaving her in little doubt as to why he’d felt it necessary to take over the task. Alison felt heat pool low in her belly as he came and lay down beside her. She could feel his erection pressing against her as he drew her into the cradle of his hips, feel her own response to his nearness, and it stunned her that she should be so aroused. She had never wanted any man as much as she wanted Jack at that moment.
He kissed her long and lingeringly, then stroked her breasts until her nipples peaked. Bending his head, he drew first one nipple and then the other into his mouth and suckled her until she could barely think because of the sensations that were pouring through her. When he laid her back against the pillows again and let his mouth glide down her body, stopping to kiss her en route, she shifted restlessly, unable to satisfy the hunger that was building inside her.
His lips stopped on her belly, just above the nest of curls at the junction of her thighs, while his fingers explored the very source of her heat and she cried out. She wasn’t sure what was happening to her because she’d never felt this way before. All she could think about was the tension that was building inside her and her desperate need for relief.
Jack held her close as she climaxed, feeling his heart pounding from the effort it had cost him to hold onto his control. He hadn’t expected her to be so sweetly responsive to his touch, so it felt like a gift to know that he could please her like this. He held her until she stopped trembling, then smiled into her eyes, knowing at that moment how much he loved her. It had to be love, of course—real love, not just sexual attraction. It couldn’t be anything less when he felt this way—all fired up, yet ready to forfeit his own pleasure to ensure hers. His gaze skimmed over her flushed face, drinking in every single emotion that was etched on it: passion, yes; satisfaction, that was a given after the way she had responded to him; shock… Shock?
He swallowed hard to ease the knot of tension that suddenly tightened his throat. The only reason he could think of to explain why Alison appeared so shocked was impossible to accept. Surely it couldn’t have been the first time that she’d had an orgasm?
His heart was pounding as he pulled her back into his arms. He longed to ask her if his suspicions were correct, but it wasn’t the right time to ask her now. Her confidence had obviously taken a battering during her marriage, and what she needed most of all was a chance to regain her self-esteem. His heart over flowed with love at the thought, because he intended to do everything he could to help her!
He kissed her hungrily, using every skill he had to arouse her passion once more. It was sheer heaven to feel her tremble in his arms and have her cling to him. Even though he had gone way beyond the normal limits of his control he held back, wanting to be sure that she would gain as much from their union as he did, and she did. The last thing Jack heard before the world went spinning out of control was her crying out his name, and it was the sweetest, the most precious sound he had ever heard.
Daylight crept around the edges of the curtains and Alison woke up. For
a moment she couldn’t understand why she felt so different that morning. Then all of a sudden everything came flooding back—her and Jack, and what had happened in her bed.
Rolling onto her side, she studied his face. He looked much softer when he was asleep, younger too, and her heart welled with tenderness when she realised it. Reaching out, she traced the elegant curve of his brows with the tip of her finger, enjoying the silky feel of the dark hair against her skin. His nose came next, and she couldn’t resist letting her fingertip skate down its elegant length. The only problem was that when she reached the bottom her finger was hovering just above his mouth and that was even more tempting.
She drew the tip of her finger lightly across his lips, and gasped when she felt tingles of sensation shoot through the palm of her hand. Although she was the one doing the caressing rather than being caressed, the effect was just as stimulating. She traced a path around his lips until she’d completed a full circuit of his mouth. Even then she wasn’t satisfied, so she went back for a second trip—across his Cupid’s bow, into one curling corner, round to the bottom, along to the middle…
She jumped when his lips suddenly parted and he drew her finger into his mouth. Her eyes flew to his and she felt heat invade her when she realised he was watching her. Holding her gaze, he sucked the tip of her finger, then let his mouth graze across her palm until it came to her wrist, to the very spot where her pulse was beating so wildly, and licked it.
Alison closed her eyes as a wave of passion gripped her. She couldn’t believe that such a seemingly simple action could arouse her this way. When Jack rolled her over onto her back and let his mouth explore the rest of her body she didn’t protest. Now that she knew how desire felt, she wanted to enjoy it again and again, wanted Jack to show her how wonderful it felt to be loved.
They made love, and it was just as breathtaking that morning as it had been the night before. Alison clung to him as the world seemed to shudder to a stop, felt him cling to her and knew he felt the same way. They had aroused one another’s passion and satisfied it too, and it was the most wonderful feeling to know that she could give Jack what he needed. It had restored her belief in herself as a woman. When he drew her into his arms after everything had stopped spinning, she knew that she had to tell him that. It would be her gift to him, the best way she knew to thank him.
‘I’ve never felt like this before,’ she whispered. ‘I wasn’t even sure if I could feel this way. You’ve shown me how it feels to be a real woman.’
‘Thank you,’ he said just as quietly, although she could tell how moved he was. He kissed her on the mouth, then looked into her eyes. ‘This has been very special for me, too. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.’
It was so wonderful to hear him say that that she couldn’t speak, and he kissed her again. They would have continued kissing, too, if the sound of footsteps on the landing hadn’t warned her that Sam was awake. Although she wasn’t ashamed of what she’d done, she didn’t want Sam walking in on them and wondering what was going on.
‘Sam’s awake,’ she explained, pushing back the bedclothes. She reached for her robe and pulled it on. ‘I’d better go and see to him.’
‘And I’d better go home and check that Freddie’s all right.’ Jack got up and reached for his clothes, which were lying in a heap on the floor. He grimaced as he picked up his shirt. ‘I’d better come up with a good story for Dad to explain the state of my clothes, too.’
Alison paused on her way to the door. ‘Are you going to tell him where you’ve been?’
‘I don’t think so.’ He finished buttoning his shirt and tucked it into his trousers. ‘I think it’s best if we keep quiet about what’s happened. We don’t want everyone gossiping about us, do we?’
‘Of course not,’ she said quickly, wondering why she felt so uneasy all of a sudden. She knew how quickly rumours could spread through out the town, and she would hate to think that people were talking about them. However, as she left the bedroom she couldn’t help wondering if Jack was more concerned about the people he worked with finding out, and one person in particular. How would Alex Ross feel if she discovered that Jack had spent the night with her?
The thought nagged away at her while she was seeing to Sam. Jack managed to slip away while she was getting the little boy dressed, so at least she didn’t have to explain what he’d been doing there at that time of the day. She’d given no thought to the implications of what had happened last night, but there was no way that she would allow Sam to be adversely affected by it. If she and Jack continued seeing each other, they would have to be discreet.
Fear clutched her heart, because it really was a question of if, wasn’t it? Jack hadn’t arranged to see her again, and there was no guarantee that he would. One night and one morning didn’t constitute a commitment on either side. This might be the beginning and the end of their relationship.
As the day wore on, Jack’s doubts about what had happened gathered pace. Although he didn’t deny that it had been the most moving experience of his life, he knew in his heart that he should never have allowed it to happen. At the present moment he had so much else going on in his life that he didn’t have time for a relationship, at least not the sort of relationship he wanted with Alison.
It had been so simple in the past. He’d separated his life into two separate compartments—his career and his social life—and he had kept them strictly apart. That was why he had never shared his home with a woman or involved her in his working life in any way, shape or form. However, he couldn’t do that with Alison.
He wanted her to be involved in every aspect of his life, and that was bound to have repercussions not only for him, but for Freddie. Although Freddie seemed to like her, it was too soon to introduce her into his son’s life on a permanent basis. Freddie was only just getting used to him and it would confuse him if the dynamics of their relationship had to change. Bluntly, Freddie might not want to share him with someone else. The thought weighed heavily on him as he worked.
Becca had been discharged at the weekend, and Ryan had an appointment with the consultant in London the following day. Jack popped in to see him, to check that he understood what was going to happen.
‘So you’re quite happy with the arrangements? There’s an ambulance booked to take you up to London. I’m not sure how long you’ll be there—that will be up to the consultant to decide once he’s seen you,’ he explained. ‘Are your parents going with you?’
Ryan shook his head. ‘Mum can’t get the time off work and Dad’s no use. He’ll only start drinking and make a scene, so it’s best if he stays away.’
Jack sighed. ‘That means you’ll have nobody around to visit you.’
‘Oh, it’s OK. Becca has promised to come and see me every day.’ Ryan grinned at him and Jack laughed.
‘I see.’ He shook the boy’s hand. ‘Good luck, then. Not that you’ll need it. Take it from me that you’re getting the very best possible care.’
He was still smiling as he left the ward. Alex was just coming in and she stopped to speak to him.
‘You’re looking a lot happier than you did this morning. Has something cheered you up?’
‘I’ve just been speaking to Ryan Lovelace,’ Jack explained, somewhat surprised by the comment because he hadn’t realised he was so transparent. He hurried on, not wanting to dwell on the thought. ‘He’s arranged for Becca to visit him while he’s in London.’
‘I see. Do I detect a hint of romance in the air?’
‘I think the answer to that is watch this space!’
Alex laughed as she carried on into the ward. Jack went to the office and made sure that Ryan’s notes were up to date. He had just finished and was thinking about going home when there was a call from A and E. Jack responded, and decided that the patient needed to go straight to Theatre. The young man had suffered extensive tissue damage after his motorbike had skidded. He hadn’t been wearing protective clothing and a large area of skin and fl
esh had been sheared away from his right thigh.
Jack called Theatre and arranged for everything to be set up in readiness, then phoned Lucy and asked her if she would collect Freddie from the nursery. Although he felt bad about abandoning his son again after last night, he didn’t have a choice. Still, Freddie had been fine when he’d got home that morning. He’d obviously enjoyed having his grandfather there to spoil him, so Jack wasn’t too worried. The sooner Freddie got used to the people who loved him, the better it would be for him.
Freddie would probably get used to Alison, too, a small voice whispered inside his head, but Jack blanked it out. Probably wasn’t good enough—not for Freddie and not for Alison. Until he was sure that neither of them would get hurt, he couldn’t do anything about the current situation. He intended to protect his son and protect the woman he loved.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
A week passed and Alison didn’t hear a word from Jack. Every time the phone rang or someone knocked on the door, she kept thinking it would be him, but it never was. She even went back to taking Sam to the nursery at the usual time, but somehow she always seemed to miss Jack. She could only conclude that he was avoiding her, and it hurt. It seemed that sleeping together hadn’t been as wonderful an experience for him as he had claimed.
She tried to deal with her heartache by keeping busy. It wasn’t difficult because they were in undated at the surgery. An outbreak of some sort of particularly nasty stomach bug kept the phones ringing almost non-stop. Morning and afternoon surgeries were full to overflowing, and in the end Nick decided that anyone who was complaining of gastric problems should be told to stay at home. They would receive a home visit rather than run the risk of spreading the bug any further.
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