In Love by Design (The Adventures of Anabel Axelrod)

by Ellen, Tracy

  I was proud to have refrained from slamming the back door, especially when I heard Luke’s low laughter when I shut it carefully behind me. I also didn’t peel out in the gravel, but backed up carefully and drove sedately down the long driveway and onto the paved road. I would never take my frustration out on a vehicle any more than I would kick a dog, but the truck could take me pounding on the steering wheel a few times.

  Something I’ve learned since falling in love, I really did not like being played for a fool. In fact, it infuriated me.

  ‘Trust and react, huh?’

  We’ll see how Luke liked how I reacted to his lack of trust.

  I didn’t expect Luke to blurt out every secret in his head, nor did I assume every evasion or misdirection he performed with the precise talent of a virtuoso was all about me. But something was going on with Luke that was popping up often enough to bug the living hell out of me.

  The leaving for two weeks without a word and saying it’s because he freaked about loving me, Svettie living with him and the amnesia, the money issues and bad investments, Dickie having a DDL & Associates card on him, and even Luke being weird about his time spent here on the farm as a boy. Maybe they all meant nothing, and taken singularly, I could almost convince myself of that. I was probably being paranoid thinking they all related in some way I couldn’t see, but my gut was talking and I was listening.

  Trust and react.

  Would Luke ever feel in his gut that we were partners? That I was someone he could share his twisted, manipulative thoughts with? My Hero was not going to find it so easy to distract me by blatantly challenging me with his arrogant domination. Sure, I loved it, but I was the Queen of Multitasking.

  Speaking of which…I tapped the brakes and pulled over to the side of the road. Throwing the truck into park, I jumped out and strode purposefully back to the light blue Honda Civic that stopped a few yards behind me.

  I rapped the passenger window impatiently and leaned down to be heard when Crazy Woman rolled down the glass.

  Without preamble or looking in her direction, I said coldly, “I specifically stated I never wanted to see you again, yet here you are.”

  I was looking behind us down the road, but sensed my ex-cousin slithering around in the car. I wondered if she slept outside of Luke’s house all night.

  Crazy’s voice was a cross between furious and a grating whine when she said, “You are only seeing me because you stopped and came back here, otherwise I am staying back far enough. It wasn’t my fault your boyfriend dragged me into that farmhouse and made me…”

  All I heard was blah, blah, blah and I interrupted the annoying noise by slapping the side of the car with my open hand. “These are your two choices and you have until I get back to the truck to decide. Keep following me and suffer. Stay away from me and live,” Smirking, I added, “at least as long as I do.”

  The nutjob yelled something, but I was already walking away towards the truck. As I opened the driver’s side door and climbed in, the light blue Honda Civic zoomed by.

  If I was listening, I may have heard a scream that sounded like, “You fucking bitch, I hate you and your ugly boyfriend!”

  Luckily, I wasn’t.

  Chapter XII

  “The Unforgiven” by Metallica

  Friday 121/07/12

  11:47 AM

  I was buckling up when my phone started ringing. Practicing my new rule of no anti-social behavior, I answered while accelerating back onto the road.

  “Anabel, dear, is this a good time?”

  The cool tones of Luke’s mother washed over me and I sat back in the seat with a smile.

  “Well, I just threatened my ex-cousin with death and I’m driving your son’s truck under duress, so you tell me.” I cried pathetically, “Help me, Mama D!”

  Damaris’ silvery laugh tinkled and she said smoothly, “I don’t know your ex-cousin, but if she needs killing, I’m sure I wouldn’t like her. As for Luke, that boy does nothing under duress. If you are driving his truck, it’s with his blessing.”

  I missed most of what Damaris said next because I was too struck by her comment regarding Luke.

  ‘My god, she’s right!’ Luke got that strange look on his face when I mentioned Pam picking me up or me meeting her. If the look wasn’t about me driving the truck, then it only left my questions regarding Pam. Luke’s never met Pam, so why would asking that make him react the way he had?

  ‘How do you know Luke’s never met Pam?’ pointed out the detective voice reasonably.

  ‘Holy Crap! That’s right, too!’

  The jolt from that question did something to my insides. Something twisted into a tight knot and it was painful. My birthday ring chose that moment to bling out in fiery sparkles, but I hardened my heart.

  “Ha! Nice try, Boyfriend, but too late!’

  I’d hit the far wall of my patience. The gloves were off and there’s no more “Luke can tell me his truths in his own time” Miss Nice and Understanding girlfriend.

  Who knew how long it would take me to train that sneaking ass to treat me as partner and trust me?

  I know, it could take as long as it would take him to train me to be an expert at self defense. I’ll be damned if I was waiting years to find out why he looked me in the eye and bald-face lied about a friend of mine that I was under the impression he’d never even met before.

  I had a moment of sisterly empathy for Mac’s upset behavior last night. Knowing someone you cared about was acting hinky was no fun. I was glad now that I’ve agreed to investigate Diego and can only hope we find something out quickly tonight for Mac’s sake.

  “We should arrive just in time for the party,” Damaris was saying.

  Apologizing, I used the excuse that she had been cutting out when I asked Damaris to repeat what she said. Inwardly, I cursed her son for making me lie to his mother again. “I missed the first part. What party?”

  “Paul and I are driving up Sunday morning in time for Anna’s bridal shower. Anna and Mac were kind enough to invite me when we were all shopping on Black Friday. I wasn’t sure we could make it until today, so I didn’t mention anything before now.”

  “That’s fantastic!” I exclaimed. “Anna will be ecstatic! I’m ecstatic! How long will you stay?” Before she could answer, I said in a voice designed to elicit pity, “Anna is a motherless orphan, too, just like me. Don’t be surprised when she tries to hog all your attention. I’ll share you at her dumb party this one time, but just remember you’re mine, okay?”

  Damaris snorted while answering, “Yes, dear, I’ll remember. We’re staying until Tuesday morning this trip, so it’s only for the two nights.” Her voice was a little tentative when she offered, “We can stay in a hotel, if it’s not convenient for Luke to have us at the farm. His father and I don’t want to intrude.”

  “What kind of rotten son would bar his mom and dad from the family farm?” I demanded, indignantly. “Say you’ll allow me to adopt you both because Luke doesn’t deserve you for even thinking such a thing.” I added in a coaxing tone, “I promise to double whatever he’s paying you guys to be his parents.”

  Damaris out and out laughed this time, no silvery tinkles. “Oh Anabel, you are such a hoot. I was trying to be the understanding mother and not…you know.”

  I giggled. “It’s true Luke has sort of kidnapped me and we’re shacking up for the weekend, but I think the honeymoon’s over. I’ll be long gone by Sunday.” I confessed sadly, “He chose his workout over me.”

  She chuckled. “Somehow I doubt that, but you should consider yourself lucky. My son can be a little bastard if he doesn’t get enough exercise.” Luke’s mom’s voice was droll, “He gets that from his father.”

  Delighted, I scoffed, “Well, I knew he didn’t get that bad behavior from you!”

  We laughed together, just a couple of women bonding over bashing their menfolk on a sunny Friday morning.

  Arriving at the highway, I checked around quickly to verify the light
blue Honda Civic wasn’t lurking in the frozen weeds somewhere, but it looked good to go in all directions.

  Heading our truck east, I said, “Seriously though, the Drake family should all consider staying at my apartment. You’re here for such a short time and you’ll be right in the thick of things without all that extra driving to and fro.”

  “I’d love to!” Damaris replied instantly. “Luke doesn’t even know yet we’re coming up, so let me run it by the boys and I’ll let you know.”

  One of the many traits I’ve come to admire in Luke’s mom was her lack of dithering. Maybe it’s because we are both busy ruling our own little universes, but she doesn’t question my sincerity when I issue this invitation, or waste our time with the usual drawn out song and dance. It has been that way from the start and was incredibly refreshing.

  “Sure,” I responded and steered the conversation in another direction. “Hey, that picture of the old farm house taken by Beth Drake is pretty amazing. Luke and I had fun talking about the old times when he visited the farm as a boy,” I primed the well casually, “until we got to the high school years.”

  “You like that photograph? Ugh, it gives me the creeps!” I laughed at her aversion and she said, “Ben was a great old guy, and gifted? Boy, there wasn’t anything that man couldn’t do with his hands. You would not believe the spectacular tree fort Ben, Paul, and Luke built in our backyard when we lived in the suburbs.” Mama D’s reminiscing tone sobered. “Ben absolutely doted on Luke and it broke his heart when Luke stopped coming for the summers after eighth grade, but he understood.” She sighed almost inaudibly, but I detected the sadness from four hundred miles away, as if she sat right next to me. “There’s not a good age for discovering the dead body of a best friend after committing suicide, but poor Luke was only fourteen and it affected him deeply. His father and I were very concerned for some time about him.”

  My first foray into digging up some answers and already I felt like a total shitheel.

  “Of course it would affect him deeply! That must have been a terrible experience for Luke, and for you all.” I couldn’t stand myself and came clean—well, sort of. “Damaris, I didn’t know about Luke’s childhood friend committing suicide. Luke never told me.”

  Damaris replied quickly, “Don’t feel bad, dear. I’ve never known Luke to speak of Tommy Sorensen to anyone, except for the night after his friend’s funeral.” Chagrined, she admitted, “I still feel like a horrible parent every time I remember this happened, but Luke took a bottle of whiskey from Uncle Ben’s liquor cabinet unbeknownst to any of us adults. We were all in the kitchen when he staggered in, obviously drunk, and started wildly yelling. He was also crying inconsolably. Unfortunately, none of us could understand a word he said before he passed out cold in Paul’s arms. I’ve always felt like I failed him somehow because, after that night, Luke clammed up. He refused to talk about Tommy’s death with anyone and has never mentioned his name to us again.”

  I thought of Jazy saying how mothers like to blab nonstop about their sons. Luke’s mother was no blabbermouth, but it hit me that she’s probably never had another woman to share all her anxious feelings with about Luke. Or at least not a woman that was also his girlfriend and cared about her son, too.

  From what I understood, Luke went right into the service after graduating high school. He spent every free moment slaving towards earning his college degrees while pursuing his Army career. He had been gone out of the States for much of his twenties and remained single all these years. Proud as parents may be, having your only child off fighting wars on the other side of the globe has got to be super tough and lonely.

  “As his parent, I’m sure Luke’s clamming up was scary,” I empathized. “I’ve never forgotten how mad I was when my parents died in the plane crash. Nothing in my world made sense. I was a much littler kid than Luke, but I didn’t want to talk with anybody then, either.”

  Chief Jack Banner has the bite scar to prove it. I haven’t seen Jack in a few days and I start feeling bad for the hard time I’ve given him over the years. It’s that Circle of Life thing we’ve got going on and it kicks into high gear in my head, complete with the music from “The Lion King”. This fond, sensitive feeling only lasts until I’m around Jack the next time. Then I’ll need to be mean again because Jack will be his usual pigheaded, chauvinistic self.

  Damaris made a soothing noise and said, “Poor Anabel, you were a little thing, weren’t you?”

  I basked in the caring sunshine of her mothering words. It’s a rare occurrence in my life to be called “Poor Anabel” without sarcasm, and I could get used to being pitied.

  “Yes, I was practically a baby,” I replied with a heavy sigh, “but that was long ago and somehow I survived.”

  There was a smile in Damaris’ voice when she replied, “There’s that fighting spirit I so admire! From a mother’s point of view, I think it’s a positive sign Luke’s talking with you about his good memories of visiting the farm.” Damaris’ heavy sigh echoed my own of a few seconds ago. “Not wanting to talk about a traumatic event is normal, but his father and I were so worried about Luke in high school because he changed so drastically. Luke was always on the quiet, more observant side, but he laughed easily and had a lot of friends. There were always a group of boys hanging around the house playing video games or swimming, and eating us out of house and home.” She chuckled and added dryly, “The girls were starting to swarm around the house about that time, too.”

  I snickered. “Tell me that changed in high school!”

  “Oh, no,” Damaris agreed ruefully, “but Luke’s attitude did. He went from being a happy young man to very quiet with angry mood swings. Over the next year, he became extremely competitive in all things and aggressive. His grief seemed to get progressively worse instead of easing, so Paul and I took him to a doctor for a professional opinion. Luke was so furious with us for that, but we needed to be sure he wasn’t clinically depressed. Fortunately, he wasn’t. Eventually it got better, but Luke definitely preferred his solitude more than before. He spent more time concentrating on his studies and working out.” Her voice was musing, as she remembered back to those turbulent times. “It was almost as if he had something to prove after Tommy’s death.”

  “Do you mind if I ask about the details surrounding Tommy’s death?” Not wanting to be morbid, but Tommy’s name had rung a vague bell the first time Damaris mentioned it. I would have been only eight or nine at the time, but these were small towns around here and the suicide of a teen would have been big news.

  “No, I don’t mind,” Damaris answered. “Anabel, it was heartbreaking. The boys had been friends since Luke was about six. Tommy’s dad was friends with Ben and brought Tommy over to play when Luke was visiting. There weren’t many kids in that rural neighborhood around the lake back then, especially boys around Tommy’s age. Those two were fast friends after that and as they got older, spent weeks every summer hanging out.” There was a crack in her voice, “The boys were two peas in a pod and even looked alike. Tommy visited us in Chicago a few times, as well, and was the nicest kid.”

  Damaris’ normally cool tone was choking up and I hurried to assure her she doesn’t need to talk about it anymore, not if it’s hurtful.

  She cleared her throat and said, “No, dear, I’m fine. I just haven’t thought of poor Tommy in a long time. He was so cute—a real charmer. Anyway, it was in August, very hot, and Luke had biked over to the Sorensen farm to pick Tommy up to go swimming at the lake. Luke was in and out of the Sorensen house all that summer, always hauling Tommy out of bed to go do something. That morning was no different. He said hello to Tommy’s folks and ran upstairs,” Damaris’ voice hushed, “and that’s when my son found Tommy dead. He had hung himself.”

  “Oh, Luke,” I murmured under my breath, thinking of his pain, thinking of how it would feel to find Anna. “How awful that must have been to find his best friend. I’m sorry to make you dredge all that up, but I appreciate understandi
ng what happened. I feel so sad for you all, Mama D., even if it was years ago.”

  “I won’t deny it was the worst time of our life as a family,” Damaris agreed grimly. “The Sorensen family is devout Roman Catholic. As you can imagine, not only were they heartbroken to lose their son, but they were anguished that he committed suicide.”

  We were both quiet for a moment, thinking our own thoughts. I also had to pay closer attention to the busier traffic, as I drive into Faribault. The Ford-150 was much larger compared to driving my jeep. I would slink out of town with my tail between my legs before bringing the truck back with even a tiny scratch.

  Damaris stated in a no-nonsense manner, “Like you said, that was long ago and time does heal. Luke survived and grew up to be a fine man any mother would be proud to call son.”

  “Amen to that,” I agreed, cheerfully. “You and Paul did good—real good.”

  She laughed lightly. “Yes, thank you, I believe we did.”

  We chatted about work and shower gifts before I asked casually, “How’s the condo hunting coming along?”

  “Svetlana hasn’t found the condo she wants yet, but we have an appointment tomorrow to view a promising property.” Her voice has no inflection when she went on to say, “She worked late every evening this past week and ended up cancelling our showings with her realtor.”

  “Hmm,” I responded noncommittally.

  “No doubt Luke will appreciate having his condo back to himself, and I mentioned this to Svetlana last night. After all, I’m sure Luke’s impatient to show you off to his friends in Chicago.” I grinned at hearing this, but Damaris wasn’t finished. “Paul and I told Svetlana that we’re all pleased to see her so happy now that the worry of the trial and testifying is off her shoulders. We’re also excited for her to start her new life in her new home.”

  ‘So this is what mothers do for their children!’ I laughed silently while trying, and failing, to picture Svettie’s sullen face bubbling over with happiness.